When I and Kang Zixian walked out of McDonald's, it was already three o'clock in the early morning.  It was still raining and the cold night wind was blowing into my face.  It felt cool and made me clear-headed. 

          In the light rain and windy night, it was totally different from the day.  The night was quiet and tranquil.  Kang Zixian proposed to take a stroll and I nodded in agreement.  

          It felt a bit strange.

          I wore his sports jacket as I felt cold and I was also wearing a cap on my head.  My hands were inserted into the big pockets of the jacket and he walked slowly beside me holding up an umbrella to shield me from the rain.

          The shining stars, the cool night and the umbrella overhead gave me a warm feeling.

          We walked quietly on the open pedestrian street and started to converse.

          "Why did you choose to be a police officer?"

          "Why? ......well, that's a long story."

          "Tell me."

          "Ai…..it's actually quite complicated……when I was in high school, my mother was studying abroad.  Old Alan was my mother's tutor and I guessed he took a fancy to my mother.  The whole day, he treated my mother enigmatically and except for sleeping, every day she was forced to work in the laboratory, doing this or that.   My mother is a hot-tempered woman and wanted face.  She was especially afraid of losing face and putting Chinese people to shame, so she endured the hardship when her tutor, Old Alan, gave her pressure.  But she still had to find a way to vent her feelings.  Can you guess who was this helpless guy?"

          "You?"

          "Correct, it was me.  That time I was in a third-rate high school and I was also in a third-rate class.  It's painful to look at the past……my results were so bad it caught my teacher's attention…… my results were really very bad.  That…..*he, he*……you know..... since our childhood, Fei Ge and I, both of us had a sense of righteousness, so…..uh, that is to say, we often skipped class to roam on the streets to maintain fairness and justice……"

          "It is clearly only for the sake of fighting.  The so-called ‘fairness and justice’ was just a cover-up for you." 

          I felt a little embarrassed and pretended to be surprised.  I glanced at him shyly then laughed and said.  "…..I didn’t expect that a foreign book nerd like you would also be aware."

          Kang Zixian turned around and smiled at me.  "What is so strange?  I had also stood for fairness and justice before."

          It was still raining and because there was a very quiet audience by my side, my thoughts lingered in the times of my youth. 

          Those several years of confusion, loss of direction and helplessness after the rebellion which I was even ashamed to share with Fu Chen was narrated to another man many years later.  "My school performance was extremely bad.  Both Fei Ge and I were in the same boat and we were well-known as the 'Black Sheep Duo'.  The teacher was so angry that she made a call across the ocean to my mother and complained about me for an hour.  It was also a good thing.  Old Alan had made my mother so angry that she was like a gun powder keg and when the teacher fanned the fire, my mother's temper flared up.  In front of Old Alan, she banged the table and said she quit.  She told him that she would not be studying anymore and returning home to beat up her daughter.  The result was…..she did as she said and packed her bags to return home.   Can you guess what she did next?  As soon as the plane landed, she gave me a slap right in front of my aunt and uncle without giving me face.  I was so mad."

          "Later?"

          "At that time, I and Fei Ge were in our third year in high school and her mother was also preparing to send her off to the sports college.  After I was slapped by my mother, I ran away…….how should I put it?  That time I had been living with my uncle's family for two years and my relationship with my aunt was not good.  She always compared me to my cousin and every day I felt like I was living on her charity.  I felt extremely depressed and every day I looked forward to my mother's return.  Eventually, when my mother returned, she did not give me a loving hug but instead gave me a slap in the face.  I could not stand the psychological distress and ran to find Fei Ge.  She was so upset with my crying that she slapped her thigh and said:  We cannot carry on living like this!  Liang Liang, let's run away from home.  We have to pursue religious practice in Mount Emei ! ! !"

          (Mount Emei is located in Sichuan Province, China and it is famous for the 26 temples on the mountains.)

          At this point, Kang Zixian looked at me with a slight smile.  Unconsciously my face flushed with embarrassment and I lowered my head.  "So both of us, each holding one hundred dollars, rode on the train and ran away that very night."

          "A hundred dollars?"  Kang Zixian wrinkled his good-looking eyebrows.  He pondered for a moment then smiled at me and said in jest.  "That is really a lot of money."

          Naturally, I heard his ridicule and felt embarrassed, so I proudly retorted.  "Well, in fact, I and Fei Ge endured for a whole week before we sought help from the police, okay?"

          Kang Zixian's mouth lifted at the corners, laughed slightly at me and said.  "At least, the two of you were still smart enough to seek help from the police." 

          With both hands on my waist, I glared fiercely at him which made him laughed even harder.

          "I and Fei Ge were sent back by a police car and became the school's laughing stock.  It so happened that Old Alan had also flown over to chase after my mother.  I was young and naïve.  I thought that my mother did not care about me anymore and she only spend the whole day quarreling with a foreigner.  Our relationship had grown even worse and we were unable to communicate with each other.  In order to make her angry, I began to further intensify my fights outside……  As a result, there was one time, to save a brother, I was involved in a group fight.  Someone called the police and I was taken to the police station……."

           After all, this was my disgrace of the past.  Perhaps to cover up for my embarrassment, I left the cover of his umbrella.  Braving the drizzle, with both arms spread out like the wings of a bird, I walked towards the fountain whilst speaking.  "That night, our headmaster came to bail me out.  His surname was Yang.  That night he invited me to a hotpot meal and told me a lot…..a lot."

          I squatted down, cupping my cheeks and Kang Zixian stood near me holding the umbrella over me to shield me from the rain.  Under the umbrella, I talked to myself.  "Do you know that time was….…..that was my most depressing time.  I felt my mother would soon leave with someone else and Fei Ge also have a bright future ahead.  Frankly speaking, I was about to give up on myself and sink into despair…..…now thinking about this, Headmaster Yang could be considered as my savior.  That night.......I will always remember everything he said to me and I will never forget in this lifetime."

          I was so engrossed in the past memories that I forgot there was a man who was my audience standing by my side.  I just recalled that night which was the turning point of my life.

          "He said……Liang Liang, you can’t be forever sitting at the back of a police car for the rest of your life.  You have to sit in front……you can do it!  The stone had blinded everyone’s eyes…....   Liang Liang, brush off the dust on your body to prove to everyone that you are a piece of gold…….."

          At this point, I suddenly returned to my senses and lifted my head to look at Kang Zixian.  Smiling happily, I said.  "Originally, my mother was not happy that I wanted to join the police force.  In order to anger her, I signed up with the force.  Lao Yang was very good to me and he helped me to eliminate all the bad records on my file."

          I held my face in my hands and asked.  "Ai…..do you see my body shining like a piece of gold?"

          Kang Zixian gave me a guarded look with eyes that sparkled like water.  After a while, I thought he was sleepy but suddenly he stretched out his hand to pat my head like a child who was begging for candy and said in a gentle voice.  "I can see…….you are not a black sheep but a goldfish."

          His voice spread in the wind with a sincere blessing.  "I believe that one day you will meet a man who will raise you in the water, give you happiness and let you swim freely."

          I lifted up my head and foolishly looked at the warm and friendly man in front of me.  A burst of wind blew over and suddenly caused the dead knots in my heart to unravel.  I heard the sounds of joy bursting from my heart after listening to his faint words of blessing and my heart that bloomed for him suddenly felt a bit sour.

          Finally, he could see me clearly, the attraction he felt for me would also disappear into the vast night like a meteor that flashed passed through the sky.

          Maybe Fei Gei was right…….I should let the past be covered with dust.  Because men would mind about a woman's chest size, the same he would mind about a woman's ignorant past as they were not open-minded.

          Suddenly I felt a slight pain in my heart.  That was my past and it was all my treasures that I did not want to abandon nor forget because that was a part of me.

          If that time Fang Liang Liang did not exist then today's Fang Liang Liang would not exist.  I felt grateful to the Fang Liang Liang of the past.

 

                                                  ***#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#***

         

          The next day was the weekend, so I did not go to school and slept till the afternoon.  I got up and stretched my body when Kang Zixian knocked on my door.  "Wake up…..time for lunch."

          I listened to the man's voice behind the door and suddenly remembered what he said last night.  He had hinted he would give up on me but unexpectedly my mood was not as excited as I had imagined.

          I felt very gloomy.

          I sighed.  Spring had arrived and the desolate feeling in my heart had long been neglected.  It was really time to get a sickle to do some weeding.

          While I was brushing my teeth, I adjusted my mood and after washing up, I regained my usual happy mood.  Bouncing out of my room, I saw the table laden with delicious homemade dishes which worked up my appetite. 

          My eyes were filled with the fragrant dishes and with a sweep of my index finger, I said.  "Wow……looks delicious, did you cook these?"

          After Kang Zixian had arranged the bowls and chopsticks, he handed me a bowl of white rice.  "No, I went to my grandmother's house for breakfast.  Aunt Lian cooked these.  The porridge that you ate last time was cooked by her.  If there is anything you don’t like to eat, I'll let her know…….."

          "No, no......"  I said and vaguely shook my head.  I held up my bowl and could not wait to start eating.  "Don’t talk to me……I don’t have time to talk to you now."  Then I ravenously wolfed down the food.

          With smiling eyes, Kang Zixian was leisurely watching me eat and his appetite was also good.   

          After eating, Kang Zixian calmly put down his chopsticks and walked away leaving me to do the washing up.  When eating other people's food, one had to speak good of others, so I cleaned up after the meal without objections. 

          He called Su Jin Wei in the living room which sounded like he was giving instructions for a job to be done. 

          When I had finished up in the kitchen, Kang Zixian had turned on his computer to do his work and I also started to make a call.

          I called Fei Ge and her voice sounded very tired.

          "Hi, Liang Liang.  My uncle is still hanging in there and until now he still hadn’t woke up.  We didn't close our eyes for the whole night and he still had not shown any improvement.  We're so worried."

          Fei Ge was upset and I did not know how to comfort her, so I eagerly said.  "Fei Ge, why are you talking like you have no more energy?  Maybe I can come over and accompany you."

          When I said this, Kang Zixian sitting opposite me, who was originally focused on his computer screen, threw me a glance then looked down and continued to work on his computer.

          "No, Liang Liang, don’t come over.  It’s useless for you to come.  It is chaotic enough over here.  Oh yes, where are you staying now?"

          "Ah?  Oh, um……I broke the door lock.  I'm okay, don’t worry about me."

          "Well, I am going to hang up. I am very tired and I want to look for a place to sleep for a while.  I can even sleep while standing now."

          Dejectedly I hung up the phone and as I was lying on the sofa thinking about Fei Ge, my mother's call came in and it was a repeat of one thousand times the same questions.  What did I eat?  What time did I sleep last night?  Did I keep myself warm with the quilt?  Did I go out with Fei Ge?  Bla, bla, bla……..

          By the time I hung up the call after I had answered and settled all my old lady's nonsensical questions, my mouth was already dry.   Kang Zixian was still sitting opposite me steady as a rock. 

          I rolled my eyes and quietly text a message to Dong Zi:  Still alive?

          Dong Zi immediately replied:  Yes, chrysanthemum still healthy.  Senior Sister, don’t worry.

          With my mind at peace, I replied:  Have retreated to home.  Where are you?  Are you safe?  Yes or No?

          Dong Zi replied:  I have retreated

          In the afternoon, I continued to sleep and Kang Zixian continued working in his study.  In order not to repeat the mistakes of last night, we both had a tacit understanding and went out to forage for food.

          After dinner, I thought it would be boring to go back too early, so I dragged him to browse through some audio and video stores, hoping to find a few movies to pass time. 

          I looked left and right and was unable to decide.  "What do you want to watch?  Romance?  Horror?  Science Fiction?"

          I saw him staring at a war film and hastily said.  "Ai……I don’t like war films."

          He did not look at me and moving his lips, he said.  "I don’t watch horror movies."

          I thought to myself for a moment then I rubbed my hands secretly feeling delighted.  This tall, big man is actually timid as a mouse and finally, I have the opportunity to tease him. 

          Then I bought a famous Japanese horror film 'The Curse'.

          I had heard about this film from my colleagues and they had displayed horrified expressions when they talking to me about this film.  I felt disdainful and in my heart, I reminded myself that all these were false.  What was there to be afraid of?  It was only a ghost that appeared in the house, right?  I was notorious for being brave and had a nickname called 'Brave Fang'.

          I wanted to experience the horrors of this ghost film, at the same time manifest my unique courage and also to scare Kang Zixian and dampen his sharp spirit.

          When Kang Zixian saw the disc in my hand, he did not object but only asked lightly.  "Are you sure you want to watch this?  Not scared?"

          Smiling slyly, I proudly pointed to myself and said provocatively.  "Will I be scared?  Ha,ha…..you must be joking!  I, Fang Liang Liang, is the famous 'Brave Fang', female hero."

          In the end, after more than two hours later, with the sound of thunder clapping in the dark night sky, it felt more horrible inside the dark living room than the dark night sky outside.  A female hideous pale-faced female ghost crawled out of the high-definition home theater screen.  Her whole body was soaked in blood, both her eyes had turned white and she seemed to be crawling towards me.  Her wretched white arms stretched out menacingly towards me and I felt my body stiffened.  I opened my eyes wide and felt suffocated.  Suddenly, like grasping to a life-saving straw, I grabbed Kang Zixian, who was sitting beside me, with his usually calm expression.  He totally disregarded my expression of fear and pointing to the screen, he patted my shoulder and said.  "This film is too boring.  You can continue to watch.  Goodnight."

          Just as he finished speaking, a flash of silver lightning streaked across the night sky, followed by a boom of thunder that shook the earth.

          I felt my seven souls and six spirits were awakened and scared out of me.  As Kang Zixian stood up, I desperately clutched at him and clung on to him.  Reluctantly, I squeezed out a smile.  "Hey, now is too early to sleep.  Look, the sky outside is still bright.  It's too early or else we can watch a series.......or, or play chess?  Ai……we can play poker?"

          At this time 'The Curse' was still showing and my eyes involuntarily drifted to the screen.  The female ghost in the movie was shown in a close-up shot, slowly being amplified and the sound of thunder sounded at that moment.  The closed eyes of the ghost suddenly flew opened and her eyes that were soaked in blood carried a frightening death message while bearing deep hatred.

          In the dark living room with the lights switched off, I was so scared that I let out a cry.  "Wa!"  Like a koala bear, I clung tightly to Kang Zixian and burying my head, I whimpered.  "Ah, it’s so scary.  Is there a problem with your house?  Why is it so dark?"

          He spoke faintly in the darkness.  "You were the one who insisted on turning off the lights."

          "Oh……then you turn it back on."

          "I'm going back to sleep, my dear."

          "Oh……..are you not afraid?"

          "Only people who are chicken-hearted will be afraid.  Why?  Are you afraid?"

          "Oh…...I…...I'm the 'Brave Fang'…..…"

          "Good…..Brave Fang.  Goodnight and sweet dreams."        

          There was another clap of deafening thunder and the sky seemed to be torn apart.

          "Let's play chess."

          "I don’t have chess."

          "Then we can play cards."

          "No cards……"

          "……then let's play games….."

          "I'm tired."

          Tightly, I held on to him and refused to let go.  Finally, I surrendered to this man.  "I'm wrong, I'm a coward, I'm afraid.  Keep me company for a while longer."

          Kang Zixian looked at me but he did not speak and in the darkness, his glittering eyes shocked me. 

          Suddenly I felt that requesting him to keep me company was not a wise decision.