This night I did not sleep well.  I dreamt a lot.  I dreamt of Fu Chen, Weiyi and myself.

          I dreamt of him:  Liang Liang, I'm sorry……I didn’t know she is your cousin sister, I didn’t know…….

          And then the memory turntable began to turn……it went back to the first day we met.  I visited my colleague, Lao Sun who was bleeding in the stomach.  As I came out of the elevator, I met my neighbor cum colleague.  She gave me a jab with her fingers and pointed to a slightly smiling, warm gentleman who was several steps away and whispered.  "That is the surgeon Dr. Fu, the dream lover of the whole hospital's single women.  Your cousin sister, Weiyi has a crush on him and is secretly in love with him for a long time."

          At that time, I followed her gaze and just then he raised his head and our eyes met.  My brain blanked out for a few seconds.

          It was the first time I experienced my heart jumping like a small deer that was caught and could only blame him for his smile, his warm smile.

          And Weiyi, in front of all our relatives, had peculiarly degraded me and did not give me face.  Coincidently, that time I was sending my wounded colleague to the hospital for treatment and the attending doctor was Fu Chen.  Because I had wanted to vent out the anger in my heart, so in the hospital corridor, I waylaid him.  "Doctor, can you give me your telephone number?"

           He laughed slightly, looked at me in surprise.  "Oh…."

          I decided to be thick-skinned and I straighten my back to give my all.  "I want to date you."

          He pondered for a few seconds and then said in a nice voice.  "How about tomorrow night?  Tonight I'm on duty."

          I still remember the gentle smile on his face, his eyes flashing with mischief and when I thought he would refuse me, he replied.  "How about tomorrow?"

          We had a good start but we were not persistent to the very end.  Perhaps the beauty of life lies here…….being imperfect would make one reminisce from time to time. 

          In the dream, I tossed around the whole night and when I woke up, the sky was brightly lit.  I could not sleep anymore.  I sat up feeling dizzy and I bent my knees to prop up my forehead with my hands.  I felt upset.

          He seemed to be offended by the words I had spoken last night.  Maybe he did not like it when I announced I would marry him on my own initiative.  Such a person would perhaps take offense if a woman covets him for his wealth and status.  Last night, my actions implied that I was an unscrupulous woman and it was expected that he ignored me when we came back.

          I pursed my lips and had a painful expression on my face.  Holding my forehead, I got up from the bed and after washing up, I felt a lot better.  I went out to the living room but he was not up yet. 

          On the balcony, I laid down on my tummy in the morning sun.  I squinted my eyes and enjoyed the city's morning sunshine.  Slowly, my mood improved. 

          "Why didn’t you sleep longer?"  Behind me, a low voice sounded, revealing a tinge of laziness after waking up.  I was shocked for a moment.  A thin coat was draped over me.  "It's cold in the morning."

          I did not refuse his kindness and continued to lie on my tummy to watch the sunshine. 

          Anxiety rose in my heart and for a moment, I did not know what to say to him.

          Kang Zixian and I stood side by side, together we looked out towards the high-rise buildings in the distance.  In the cool wind, we stood in silence. 

          After a while, I said.  "Fei Ge is coming back today."

          "Oh."  He answered.

          "I had troubled you these few days.  Thank you."

          He looked quietly into the distance.  "Nothing else you would like to say to me?"

          I deliberated for a while and nodded my head.  "Yes……I drank too much last night and said some nonsense.  Please don’t take offense."

          Kang Zixian turned to face me.  There was a trace of anger in his eyes and he asked, putting stress on each word in the question.  "Is there anything else?  No more?"

          I took a deep breath, slowly pulled off the coat on my shoulders and handed it back to him.  I looked up at him, shook my head and said.  "It's late, I have to go to school."

          I had taken two steps forward when my shoulders were caught by him.  He frowned, turned me around and looked at me.  "Do you intend to leave like this?  Doesn’t these few days meant anything to you?"

          I bite my lips and did not speak.

          Kang Zixian came closer to me, his forehead almost touching my forehead.  His voice was soft and gentle.  "Girl, your words don’t match your heart.  Is it so difficult to admit you have feelings for me?"

          Over the past few days, the warm mixed emotions and memories in my heart once again played out in my mind.  I hesitated for a long time and finally found a reasonable answer for myself.

          "I'm just lonely."

          "I dreamt of him last night.  I think I cannot let go, sorry."