As I came out of Kang Zixian's house, I did not look back.  Strong intuition told me that he was still standing on the balcony looking at me with complex feelings.

          I did not think I have the courage to look back at him.  After all, I really have feelings for him.

          I have the courage to love him but do not have the courage to admit……I am really a coward.

          This morning, I was absent-minded, suffering over a hangover and did not have enough sleep.  I was in a bad mood and low-spirited.  My whole person was listless like a withered lily and I just wanted to sleep. 

          During the English class, I saw gentle Teacher Ye and thought of her blind date with a man, some time ago.  My heart felt like acid had been poured in and I simply used a book to block the sight of her and pretended not to see her. 

          When Stone came for Math class, I did not have to cover up.  Casually and arrogantly I slept on the table throughout the lesson.  Probably Stone was worried about me and he glanced at me several times.  Song Chang Ran, this good girl felt anxious and gave me a push.  "Jiang Mei Da, quickly get up, the teacher is looking at you."

          In a daze, I wiped the saliva from my mouth, changed another position and continued to sleep.  The anxious Song Chang Ran seemed bent on waking me up.  "Quickly wake up!  The teacher is angry."

          The little girl was buzzing around me and it made me impatient.  When she saw that I was stubbornly unmoved, she raised her voice higher and said. "Get up! !"

          Her voice was high enough for the whole class to hear and the sleepiness was chased out of my body with her shouting.  I lifted my head slightly and found all eyes in the classroom were focused on me.  Jiang Li on my left threw me a cold glance and Dong Zi foolishly stared at me.  I was scrutinized by two pairs of alert eyes and surrounded by several children's dull eyes which seemed to be sleepy but they were absolutely not as arrogant as me.

          Stone's lecture came to an abrupt stop.  He ignored the movement on my side and facing the class with an understanding smile, he said.  "If you want to sleep, you can sleep.  You are now at the body-building stage, you should sleep more."

          As soon as his voice faded, the sound of several heads hitting the table could be heard.  Standing on the podium, Stone pushed up the glasses on his nose with a dry smile and calmly continued his lecture in the midst of light snoring sounds.

          Later Stone sent me a text message to enquire about me but I fobbed him off.  I made sure he would not bring his girlfriend along but to meet Fei Ge and me first.

          When it was lunchtime, I could not sleep anymore.  As soon as I close my eyes, my head would hurt and I would vomit when I slept too much.  In the past, I thought that eating too much, I would vomit but did not think that sleeping too much, would also be the same.   

          After lunch, I went to the staircase to watch the scenery.  Sitting down for a while, Lao Tan called over to enquire about my progress.  With a flushed face, I reported that I had not made any progress.  I told him it was not easy to find an excuse to go into someone's house.  Lao Tan on the other end only gave a gloomy "En" and calmly said.  "Liang Liang, my patience is at the bottom line.  You'd better remember that."  Then he snapped down the phone.

          I stared at the phone with wide eyes.  In my heart, I said to myself…..this Lao Tan, as his position gets higher and higher, his words became more threatening by the year making my heart suffocate.

          Two days ago, Li Fang, my colleague had secretly talked to me on the phone.  It seems that there was something not right with this case.  How could the circle of suspects involve the relatives of the powerful Mayor, right?  Besides the Mayor and the Chief were in the same boat.  Following the Mayor, he as the Chief had received benefits……and the person responsible for this investigation was Lao Tan, the Deputy Chief.  In this case, Lao Tan was also involved and now that the Mayor was at the end of his term, either career-wise or for other reasons, Lao Tan was naturally happy to investigate to the bottom of this.  But the Chief cannot always be on the alert everywhere in the Bureau.  How could he close one eye and open one eye when on Lao Tan's side, Lao Tan was the leading the investigation into the big brother's case.

          What is the actual situation?  Luring the snake from its hole*(Exposing a malefactor) or was it to invite the gentleman to enter the urn* (To give somebody a taste of his own medicine)

          For small subordinates like us, in order to live well and mix well, we need a little survival skill especially in a place where there was constant infighting and intrigues like the Bureau.

          In the Bureau, there were only three factions, one Chief and two Deputy Chiefs.  Under every Head was a group of trusted aides and whoever was under which Head, everyone was aware but not publicly flaunted.

          When I first entered as a newcomer, I was simple-minded and like all new social people, I disliked all the faction struggles for power.  I could not adapt and thought that working for whichever Head would bring a lot of problems.  I simply did not want to follow any Head and wanted to be like a single lotus plant. 

          But this idea was more stupid.  Without any background and without someone to protect, a small fry like me had to suffer a lot during that time.  I was bullied by the oldies and also had to swallow my pride.  After thinking over this matter, I finally chose to follow Lao Tan. 

          Although he was also a wily old official fritter, fortunately, he was also a good man, not like Deputy Chief Zhang.  Whenever Deputy Chief Zhang sees a young female subordinate, his peach blossom radar eyes would focus on a particular part of her body.  Li Fang said that their office's vixen had been with Deputy Chief Zhang's secret lover for several years now.  I heard, at first she had a chest tumor which she was unaware of.  She only found out when she stripped naked to do that thing with Deputy Chief Zhang and he had touched it.  Having an affair and in the process, saved a life indeed proved he is a true public servant. 

          When I thought of that old man with his oily head and powder face, I felt nauseous.  When I just entered the Bureau, he was particularly amiable to me.  Every time when he sees me, he would call me Liang Liang with his eyes shining brightly. 

          Once during winter, in a secluded corridor, he touched my hand and said.  "Young lady, follow me and you will have a good future."

          In those three days thereafter, the old guy's sweaty hands made goosebumps appeared all over my body.  Being fresh in a workplace, this was the first time I was aware of what sexual harassment actually meant.

          After that, I totally understood that without someone to look out for me, it was easy to lose my body.  I needed to find a reliable person and whoever I decide to follow, it would definitely not be that old lecher.  Lao Tan and his wife were in marital bliss and had been together for more than twenty years.  In this respect, it was impeccable.  On top of that, he and my father were school mates, although in different classes.  I also heard that my father and Lao Tan were on the same basketball team.  My father was a forward, he was a guard and my father had even invited him for beer.  To follow my father's friend, my heart would also be at peace.

          I sat on the cold cement staircase, thinking about the case and felt anxious.  At this time, a pair of dry and clean, white Nike sports shoe appeared next to me.  I was startled.  I stared at him as he sat down beside me but the young face looked indifferent.  Through the ceiling to floor glass window, his beautiful eyes looked down at the basketball court near his feet.  There were several boys wearing short T-shirts playing basketball on the court. 

          I turned and looked at his side profile, thinking about his purpose for sitting down with me.  Jiang Li idly place both his hands on the steps and asked straight to the point.  "Recently do you have something on your mind?"

          "Oh?  Uh, yeah."  I was amazed at his keen mind and nodded in admittance.  I really had a lot on my mind and you are one of them.  Because of me, your father and mother would soon lose their rice bowl*. (Rice bowl means the source of income or a job.)

          I bowed my head and rolled my eyes then simply went with the flow and followed up.  I let out a long sigh and sadly looked into the distance.  I propped up my cheeks and in a pitiful voice, I said.  "My father and mother are going to divorce.  Every night they quarrel and last night they started to fight.  I didn’t have a good sleep last night.”

          I pretended to be depressed and drew a circle on the ground while muttering.  "Today, they had left separately to stay with their individual friends and in the family, the only person remaining is me.  I really don’t want to go home, I want to run away from home."

          I mumbled in a small voice.  "How can they do this to me….."

          In my heart, I fiercely gave myself a hard slap and tried to put on a crying and pitiful expression.  Glancing sideways, I saw Jiang Li was at a loss.  He did not know what to do next and probably he did not know how to comfort me.  After all, he was still a child, perhaps he did not know how to comfort people.

          His face was stiff and after a long while, he attempted to ask.  "You……are you okay?"

          I hate myself in my heart for deceiving children in such a despicable way.  But I could not do anything about the situation and could only look into the distance without speaking.

          Lies had already been told.  I could not imagine if he was to find out in the future that I am really a liar, how difficult it would be to settle this situation.  Since this had started, I could not back out now.  So it would be better to settle this matter as soon as possible so that I could withdraw early.  In his memory, the person who came hurriedly and left hurriedly would be Jian Mei Da.

          If I can have that ending, naturally it would be most perfect.  I was willing to make the greatest effort to reduce the effect of my evil deed to the minimum.

          I and Jiang Li sat together on the stairs and under the window on the basketball court, a tall boy's passing technique was skillful.  One jump and a beautiful slam-dunk attracted a few other boys' applause.

          We were silent for a while, then I asked him.  "Do you know how to slam-dunk?"

          "Yes."

          "That…..I think I have not seen you play basketball before."

          "Oh."  He answered.

          "Are you free after school?"  He asked suddenly.

          My heart suddenly jumped and looked expectedly at him.  "Yes, yes….."  No matter how tired or how busy, I would still squeeze out time to go to your house to set up the listening devices. 

          "Then come to the basketball court.  I want to play basketball."

          I was full of hope with my heart hanging in mid-air…..then it abruptly dropped…..dropped down vertically.

          I felt a bit disappointed.

          In the afternoon, I texted a message to Dong Zi telling him to cling to Jiang Li and come to the basketball court with him.

          I did not want to be alone with him.  Spring flower romance in spring…..even a blade of grass or a tree could evoke young people's feelings.  Not because I doubt whether I still had this charm but it was still better to be on guard. 

          After school, as promised, I went to the basketball court, squatting at the side of the court, cheered and applauded the two guys who were playing and sweating.  Dong Zi pretended not to know me and under Jiang Li's gaze, the both of us exchanged greetings.  They played for a while and when the sun began to set, we waved goodbye. 

          Jiang Li pushed his bicycle and walked me to the public bus station in front of the school gate.  I had resumed my unhappy facial expression and his eyes showed his worry.  As I hesitated to wait for him to move, he took out the assignment from his school bag and handed it to me.  His eyes were still cold and it gave me a feeling that his coldness was his protective shield.   

          "Take this.  Don’t come to school so early in the morning."  He said.  His handsome face flashed a hint of embarrassment and seemed to be trying to say something more.  "Get up later in the morning."

          Then he shoved his assignment into my hand and quickly got on his bicycle to speed off.

          Holding his beautiful handwritten assignment in my hand while facing the busy flow of traffic in a daze, I had never before hated myself this much.

          Fei Ge had reached home in the afternoon and because she did not sleep well for the last few days, once home she fell into a deep sleep.  When she opened the door for me, she was wearing her baby bear pajamas.  She rubbed her eyes and her face looked pale. 

          She yawned then laid on the sofa and wailed.  "Liang Liang, this time my uncle really tormented us.  The old man used to be a government official and now even when sick he still displayed the behavior of an official.  Two people must be by his bedside 24 hours a day, one to serve him his tea and the other to tell him jokes to fight boredom and read newspapers to him 5 hours a day.  In the morning, it would be The People's Daily and all editorial news must not be left out.  In the afternoon, it would be Southern Weekend and except for the advertisements, every piece of news cannot be left out.  I was lucky.  I gave him the excuse of 'training' and was able to slip away.  Do you know? …..Just to say 'training' was not good enough…..must add 'country training' then only will he let me go.  My cousin sister and his secretary were worse off.  He complained that their voices were too soft.  If the voice is too heavy, he said it was too noisy and if the voice is too passionate, he said young people should not be so radical.   My cousin sister asked me what to do, I told her we can only trick him.  The bed next to the old man was going to be vacant.  When she reads to him, she can pretend to be dizzy and sleep in the next bed.  Throughout the day, she can cry "Ai…yo, ai…..yo." then we can see how long the old man can hold up his behavior."

          I changed into light clothing, sat down beside Fei Ge and put up my leg on the coffee table.  The two of us were sitting but did not look like we were sitting and disregarded all manners since we were only seeking comfort.  I laughed lightly as I bite into my apple.  "Blame your grandmother for this.  Isn't your grandmother a princess of the Qing Dynasty?  Ai……descendants of nobility, the ostentatious genes are still there."

          As I bite into my apple, Fei Ge was pondering over something and she shook her head and muttered.  "Why is Stone still not here?  He will be able to find this place, right?"

          She also picked an apple to take a bite and then suddenly remembered something.  She turned her head around and asked me.  "Liang Liang, where did you stay these past few days?  The night before, I called your house phone at 10 o'clock and it rang for a long time but nobody picked up.  Last night, I called again but nobody picked up.  Your house is your precious baby, how can you break the lock?  Tell me honestly, where did you stay?"

          When Fei Ge asked for my confession, the piece of apple that I had bitten off stuck in my throat and I did not speak.  Then I stammered and felt embarrassed. 

          Fei Ge saw the guilty expression on my face and recognized the signs.  She put down her apple and roared like a lion.  "There is a problem!"  Her voice went up a notch higher and said.  "Fuck…..You moved so fast!"

          My hand holding the apple trembled and the half-eaten apple fell and rolled on the floor.  My knees felt weak and started to tell her all that had happened but even if I was beaten to death, I would not reveal the intimate moments that happen several times between me and Kang Zixian. 

          "That……that was what happened.  It was……was like that."  I was mentally affected when I described the way I had met Kang Zixian.  I explained that I had run to her home in order to avoid him and also told her the matter of meeting Fu Chen last night.  I told Fei Ge that I had settled with Kang Zixian and in future, we would not be associated with each other.

          Fei Ge sat at the side with her two legs raised up, listened carefully and quietly like a virgin who had not ventured out of her home.

          In fact, she was indeed a virgin who had not ventured out the house but unfortunately, most of the time she was not very quiet.

          After I had finished talking, she gave an answer.   "Oh."  She thought for a while, smiling slightly and nodded her head.  Every time before she flipped out, she would think for a while, then smiled and nodded and the next second she would pounce on me.

          Just as I had expected.

          Wearing her baby bear pajamas, Fei Ge menacingly jumped up and gave me a fierce slap on my head.  It was so painful that I shouted.

          "Liang Liang, you are good!  There is a problem!  Such a big problem that you did not even let me know if I had not asked you today.  Fuck…..do you want to be eaten clean before you tell me?  The rich men that you meet in night clubs, are there any good ones?  What is that bastard's name?  Kang…..what?"

          "Kang……Kang Zixian."

          "Fuck…..the name is so hard to pronounce.  Just call him Kang What, oh…..yes, that Kang What is definitely not a good person.  This kind of people is good at dealing with women and he will definitely eat you.  If you stay a few more days with him and take his ecstasy drug, you will even give him your bank account password."

          Fei Gei talked whilst gesturing with her hands and legs.  As she reprimanded me, her spittle flew all over the place and then the doorbell rang.  Fei Ge garnered the mannerism as a Qing Dynasty descendant, pointed at me, who had shrunk into the sofa and gave me a kick.  "Go……open the door.  Stone is here."

          Quickly I went to open the door.  Stone walked in carrying two bags of groceries and on seeing us, he was so happy that he was speechless.

          Stone was very excited when he saw Fei Ge, his eyes lighted up with anticipation of the 7 years reunion and lamented for the lost 7-years.  And as Fei Ge ordered, we acted as though those 7 years never existed, Stone had never left us…..never left.

          "Stone, bought chicken wings?"

          "Yes, Lao Da.  Bought."

          "Eggplant?"

          "Bought."

          "Wine?"

          "I bought one carton.  Still in my car."

          "I'm not drinking tonight.  Liang Liang can’t drink anymore.  The more I drink, the more stupid I become.  My head is like the butt."

          Stone did not understand, looked blankly back and forth between Fei Ge and me.  Fei Ge took a bite of her apple.  Then the Queen issued an order to Stone.  "Why are you still here?  Quick, go to the kitchen, I have something to discuss with Liang Liang.  We will come in and help you later."

          He answered.  "Oh, Oh."  He went into the kitchen happily.

          My foolish eyes filled with tears were staring at Fei Ge, praying for mercy from the Queen.  I pouted my lips and called her name.  "Fei Ge, don’t be angry…..when you see him, you will understand.  He is like a scoundrel, absolutely handsome……I could not resist him, but I have refused him.  I had really, really refused him and told him my heart is still with Fu Chen."

          Fei Ge lifted her eyebrows and disdainfully gave a sound *pooh*.  Then she gave a hard pat on my head like a volleyball until my eyes shot out golden stairs.  "That man, Fu, you better forget him.  He is not a good thing, all men are not good things."

          Today, Fei Ge's reaction was a bit too excited and usually, she speaks intrepidly and not so radically.  I was puzzled and asked.  "What is the matter with you?"

          Fei Ge threw me a glance and laid on the sofa in silence.  I gave her a push and asked.  "What is it?  Aren't you telling me?  Is it Fang Yi Heng?"

          Usually, only that man could affect Fei Ge and the impact was great. 

          She laid face down on the sofa and after a long while, then only did she say a sentence.  "Again he found a girlfriend......a nurse.  He said he would bring his girlfriend to let me see someday.  &$(#@!$#"

          She was so anguished that she let out a string of foul language.  Like her, I was also not in a good mood.  I did not know how to comfort her and could only sit by her side to accompany her. 

          "Don’t cry."

          "Fart!  I will not cry for him!"

          But Fei Ge's voice had changed.......it was on the verge of crying.  I pulled out a sheet of tissue and threw it at her.......she took it. 

          In the silent living room, I could only hear the sound of Stone cooking in the kitchen.  At this moment, my phone rang and I glanced at it……it was Kang Zixian.

          I hesitated to take the call and Fei Ge asked.  "Who is it?"

          "Ah?  Uh….uh….."

          "Him?"  Fei Ge sat up and grabbed the phone from my hands.  She looked at it and then picked up the call.

          Before Kang Zixian could say a word, Fei Ge had started her prattle like a cannon, spraying my face with saliva. 

          "Hey, are you that Kang What?  I am Liang Liang's friend, Fei Ge.  I warn you, stay far away from Liang Liang.  Don’t have any ideas on her.  Your type of well-dressed scoundrels, I have seen a lot.  Don’t even think of it.  You think you are great but I also have somebody higher up supporting me! ! ! !   Huh! ! ! ! !"

          At this moment, I looked helplessly at the protective flower messenger, Fei Ge who had hung up the phone.  For the first time, I felt pity for Kang Zixian.