The next day, I sent Kang Zixian to the airport.  I thought about his flower-picking of the past and there was uneasiness in my heart.  I could not control myself and fiercely held his chin.  "Tell me, will you be picking foreign flowers outside?" 

             He smiled at me gently, bowed his head and said some words into my ear which made me blush for a long time.

             "You are the only flower in my world."

            

             The next afternoon, after Kang Zixian had flown off to the States, Fei Ge called me over the phone and said that she was at the train station so I picked her up in my car.

             Whenever I meet Fei Ge, often she would be lively and always give people an energetic feeling but this time, she actually looked haggard.  Probably she did not sleep well because of Fang Yi Heng that nerd. 

             In the car, we simply summed up the situation then decided to go to school immediately to find out where Principal Yang was staying.  First, we had to go to the school to try our luck.  Fortunately, I am a police officer, so I should be able to, at least, give the principal a little help.

             On the way, I thought over and over again and decided to tell Fei Ge about Kang Zixian.  "Fei Ge…."

             "Huh?"

             "Last night, under the Ferris wheel, he told me he could not live without me." 

             Fei Ge was quiet for a while, then with a sigh, she asked.  "Liang Liang, this person…. are you sure he is the right one?"

             I pondered for a moment and nodded firmly.

             "Sure…..I am sure he likes me and I like him, too."

             "Then okay.  You like him and he likes you…..that is heaven's destiny.  If you like him and he doesn't like you…..that is heaven's joke.  Liang Liang, I will not obstruct you.  I just wish you will open wide your eyes to look at him carefully.  Don’t be like me letting the man torture me until I fall apart."

             I solemnly nodded.  "Okay, Fei Ge, I promise you that I will look hard."

             Fei Ge tiredly closed her eyes.

             When we reached the school gate, which we had not come for a long time, memories of our absurd but interesting deeds rushed towards us like fresh lively waves.  We smiled as we recalled our memories, saw our juvenile innocence in each other's eyes and could not help but felt a sense of loss. 

             Since the previous thin reception office uncle was no longer around, we enquired from the present uncle who is short and fat.  After a brief identity introduction, I tentatively asked whether the principal was in school today.  The uncle nodded, pointed to the direction of the laboratory floor in the experimental building.  "In the morning, I saw Principal Yang come out to buy breakfast and probably he did not go back last night…..ai"

             I and Fei Ge did not miss the indistinctive sigh.  Our mood became solemn and with tacit understanding, both of us did not speak as we walked quietly towards the laboratory floor.

             During the weekend, the campus was particularly quiet and all the way we did not see any student.  The experimental building was located in the school most remote area making it very quiet, so quiet that it was disturbing.  Many years ago, it had this gray and white look and years later, looking at it again, perhaps it was due to our state of mind……unconsciously, it looked bleak.

             Soon we would be seeing the fallen old principal, an elder who was respected in life and in his twilight years, he had to accept looks of sympathy and regret in the eyes of others.  For an elderly man, this is extremely cruel.   

             I and Fei Ge, both of us with heavy hearts walked to the laboratory floor in silence.  We turned to the left and silently walked along the dark corridor to the end where a small room was located. 

             As we walked nearer to the door, we found the door to the room was ajar.  From inside, the familiar, emotional voice of an elderly could be heard.  Principal Yang seemed to be talking with someone on the phone in the Thai language which we did not understand.  He was agitated, probably he was in a dispute with the person on the other end and while talking he was crying loudly.  Listening to him, it sounded like he was in a hysterical state.

             We were stunned as we stood near the opened door.  The situation had changed suddenly……people who are at their weakest naturally did not want to be seen, especially by the younger generation.  Fei Ge waved at me with a hand gesture and her meaning was for us to retreat.  Today is not the right time.  I nodded my head. 

             Just as we were about to back off, the principal behind the door suddenly talked in the Chinese language instead of Thai.  His words made me feel as if my feet were filled with lead, unable to move from where I stood. 

             "Boss Chu, I…..let me ask you..... why did Pritt say that the police are taking note of me?  Why?  You promised me that no one would know……there are traitors?  …….What is the use of killing them?  ……..it is finished, finished….ah!"

             "You all ruined me!…..ruined me, ah!….."

            

             The elderly man behind the door shouted accompanied by cries of desperation and he was on the verge of collapse.   Outside the door, my mind was in a trance, thinking of people who do wicked deeds would be punished and felt that the cruel truth was like a big-mouth basin full of blood* (The ferocious mouth of a beast).

              Taken by surprise, my legs weakened and I hurriedly leaned against the wall for support.  I was in a daze and for a moment I could not accept such a terrible truth.  Fei Ge also realized something was wrong and her expression showed her puzzlement.  She was about to open her mouth when I held up my index finger and gave a 'Shsssh!"   And then, I tilted my head to listen to the old man who was still on phone, furiously shouting.  Then I silently pulled Fei Ge back and retreated. 

             The old man's depressed cries gradually faded away.  Faintly, his continuous advice many years ago still echoed in my ear.  He said……”Liang Liang, you can’t forever be sitting at the back of a police car for the rest of your life.  You have to sit in front……you can do it.  The stone had blinded all people's eyes…....Liang Liang, brush off the dust on your body to prove to everyone that you are a piece of gold…….."

             I felt desolate.

             Years later, I had become a piece of gold but you are now covered with dust and had fallen into the human world's turbid flow.  

             How can I not sigh?

             After coming out of the experimental building, as I stood under the sun, at that moment, I felt my body go cold.  The chilly cold traveled from the soles of my feet and spread throughout my whole body.  The biting cold swallowed the whole of me and it made me breathless as my lips slightly trembled.

             When Fei Ge saw me acting weird, she anxiously caught up with me.  "Liang Liang, what is it?  Damn it, what has happened?  What did Principal Yang do to make the police take note of him?  I am in panic after listening to him!"

             My heart was in complete chaos and wondered whether I should tell Fei Ge.  In my heart, the image of benevolent Principal Yang had collapsed and such downfall for this kind of idol was extremely painful.  I did not have the heart to let Fei Ge also experience such pain and I could only purse my lips.  Like a headless fly, I moved forward hastily.  "Don’t ask, let's leave quickly!"

             "Liang Liang, damn it, are you going to choke me to death?  What happened?  Why is your face so pale, did our old principal commit a crime?"

             "Don’t just show me your dead-white face, at least make a sound, okay?  I'm so anxious."

             Fei Ge clamored incessantly.  I sat in the car with my hands holding my head resting on the steering wheel as I tried to calm down my chaotic brain.  Fei Ge sat beside me and stared at me with anxious eyes, keeping her silence for a while.  I raised my head, looked straight ahead in front of me and quietly said.  "Fei Ge, now I can’t say a word but I can only tell you, the principal is........ in trouble."

             When she heard me say those words in such a serious tone, the usual forever smiling Fei Ge became silent.  All along the way, we kept silent, each immersed in endless soul searching torment. 

             And I, who knew the truth, was obviously more painful.

             I think, maybe I am the only one in the city who knows 'Brother Loong' is actually Principal Yang's 'police'.  It was truly ironic in the midst of this.  Many years ago, when he was still a pure and honest principal, he had guided me during the time I lost my path in life.  He stood up and unconditionally supported me to join the police force.  Many years later, he became my suspect and I could not avoid putting the heavy handcuffs on him.

             Should I let him go based on kindness or should I arrest him out of righteousness?

             Let him go, I would have a guilty conscience......arrest him, I would also have a guilty conscience.

             Maybe God is punishing me, ruthlessly looking at me struggling between the choice of kindness or righteousness, forcing me to make a choice.  And regardless of which one I choose, I would be condemned for life.  Loyalty and obedience, I can only choose one.

             No matter how I struggled, it was still wrong.

             I sent Fei Ge home.  As she got out of the car, I called out to her.  "Fei Ge."

             Fei Ge turned around to look at me and her eyes were full of sorrow.

             I gripped the steering wheel and asked her.  "If someone wants you to choose between righteousness and kindness, what would be your choice?"

             Fei Ge gave me a deep look.  "Can I not choose?"

             I shook my head and gave a wry smile.

             Dejectedly I returned home, foolishly sat for a while, then I called Li Fang.  I asked him whether Haishen Triad's stronghold was in Thailand and that inside the group was there anyone with the surname Chu. 

             Li Fang was not surprised by my questions.  "Yes, their headquarters is in Thailand.  These two years, they have tried everything possible to penetrate into this country, mainly because in the gang there is a prominent Chinese boss who is constantly in the limelight.  Correct, his surname is Chu…..a sinister man and it is said that he is a smiling tiger."

             "What about the undercover that Interpol sent?"

             "Ah?  It's not clear.  It has been a long time and they have not given us news……anyway, this case has been suspended.  Most likely our Bureau is going to shelf this case."

             Dusk embellished sadness in the heart.  The distant sunset spread out a rich and brilliant color of blood.  I sat in the dusk dim glow for more than an hour as the evening breeze blew.  The sound of Principal Yang's cries still echoed in my ears and my mind gradually cleared. 

             That year, he had advised me to turn back from the path and now the role has been reversed.  I should stand up and tell him, now is the time to retreat and it is still not too late.  Before he had done any irreversible sins, he could still redeem himself.

             Once I had thought out clearly, I rushed out of the door, jumped into the car and drove towards my old school.  I raced to the old school and stopped at the gate.  The uncle at the gate stuck out his head and when he saw me, he waved me through.  In the car, I grasped the steering wheel and the feelings of unease, panic, and guilt all intertwined in my heart.  I wanted to persuade the principal to surrender but I had a kind of illusion like I was committing a crime and rushing to the execution ground would generally be filled with unease.

             Walking along the dark corridor, I found that only the room at the end of the corridor had a dim light on.  I walked slowly forward with heavy footsteps with my heart in deep torment and walking such a short distance had never felt so long.  

             I had not even reached the door and an old man’s voice sounded from inside the room, accompanied by slight coughing. 

             "Is it Liang Liang?  Come in."

             I walked out from the darkness and saw the skinny man sitting in front of a table in the humble room.  He looked haggard with a head full of silver hair.  His sallow face and eyes swollen with deep eye bags showed his tiredness as if he was going to collapse at any time. 

             He gave me a warm, calm smile.  His whole body was as if shrouded in tragedy and it made me emotionally moved. 

             I let out a bitter cry.  "Principal……"

             Once I cried out the word, I suddenly found that I did not have the strength to smile anymore and just looked sadly at him.

             He nodded and smiled under the light.  His eyes flashed with understanding.  "Liang Liang, I have been waiting for you.  I know you will come."

             "This afternoon, I heard Uncle said that you and Ge Fei came by but I did not see you.  I already knew…..."

             I nodded bitterly.  'Probably it is heavenly fate, I am working on this case."

             "So it is heavenly fate......"  He pursed his lips and nodded.  The skeleton-thin principal staggered to stand up, his back was hunched and he walked to the window.  Outside the window, it was already dark, the old man's hunched back view emitted a sense of distraught.

             Behind him, I said.  "Principal, I don’t understand."

             "Liang Liang, even I also don’t understand how I came to this point."  The principal did not show any agitation like in the afternoon and at this moment his tone was calm and gentle. 

             "The first half of my life, I led a life of difficulty and wandered around in Thailand during the time the Chinese were being forced out from there.  Life was hard and in order to support my wife and children, I had done a lot of things.  With some clever ingenuity on my part, everything I did went smoothly, so…….that is the reason why this gang still wants me."

             "The first half of my life was difficult but the second half of my life was spent contently on the school campus.  I even thought I could pass the rest of my life like this but I didn’t expect…..and now thinking of it, I reaped what I sowed.  The debt from the first half of my life is now to be paid in the second half……can’t escape, in the end, I still can’t escape.”

             "Principal……"  My tears would not stop falling.  As they slid down my cheeks, I looked sadly at the old man. 

             "Liang Liang, I am not good enough for you to call me 'Principal'.  The second half of my life, I have been teaching students and in fact, I am ashamed that I taught them Confucius teachings.  Others say that I taught a lot of students but I did not teach my own son properly for decades and now only I realized…..I am unworthy……"

             The old man's voice was full of sorrow, he bowed his head and wiped his tears. 

             "Don’t say this.  In my eyes, you are still you and without you, there would not be a Fang Liang Liang, today.  And…..and there is still salvation as long as you work with us.  There must be a way to help save your son….."

             I held my breath as I waited for his response.  With his back to me, he was quiet as a statue and then he sighed deeply. 

             "Liang Liang, it's too late.  I am very tired and can’t hold on any longer."

             "A person alone…..is very difficult."

             "The wood had become a boat* (What is done cannot be undone) and my son should be able to carry on living so it is time I take a rest."

             My heart tightened.  In his calm and desperate voice tone, I could feel something was not right.  I shook my head and cried.  "No, it is not too late, really not too late!"

             Anxiously I rushed to his side.  I wanted to persuade the old man but when I reached his side, I bowed my head to look down and was surprised to see the handle of a knife sticking out of his pants pocket.  Suddenly my heart stopped beating. 

             "What do you want to do?"  I exclaimed and went up to him with the intention of taking the knife from him.  "Don’t think of doing it!"

             When he saw me reaching for the knife, he quickly stepped back and pulled out the knife from his pocket.  "Don’t come near, let me die!"

             A few strands of white hair drooped onto his forehead, revealing a trace of frustration.  His emotions were out of control, his eyes showed red veins and brandishing the knife, he shouted.  "Don’t come near me!"

             He raised his hand to his neck and when I saw the knife was about to touch his soft skin, I rushed forward to grab his hand without hesitation.  I tried to pull the knife away from him with great effort. 

             "No, Principal!  Give me the knife……give me the knife!"

             "No!"

             For a person who is desperate to die, his strength is particularly great. 

             Once determined to die, he was completely irrational.  His cold, desperate look made my heart suddenly skipped.  The sharp knife glowed in the deathly cold light thrown in from the light outside.  In my life, I had never felt such danger before as I watched a vivid life about to seek the relief of death.