‘Dililing!’ My doorbell rings as a gaggle of three excited girls enter my shop. Not my usual clientele, but today is a slow day anyway. I pretend I haven’t noticed them yet, it puts the customer at ease.

The one of the three wearing her uniform jacket at the waist goes straight for the counter, practically slamming her arm next to the till. I move my eyes away from my magazine and turn my head towards her. She’s smiling confidently at me. I notice the embroidered patch of a soccer ball on her shirt’s collar, she does give off that kind of sporty vibe.

The curious heads of her friends pop up behind her. The one with the elongated ears of a demi-elf is nervously adjusting her glasses, while the third is blowing bubbles into her chewing gum, whatever currently happening on her phone seemingly being of more interest to her.

“Welcome to Otrera’s magical emporium, how may I be of assistance today?” I offer.

“Is it true there’s a spell to show us our soulmates?” the girl asks, leaning over the counter. Her messy hair bobs along with her motion, she slicks her bang back up.

There isn’t one of course. I assume it must’ve been school rumors.

“There ain’t gonna be one,” the one on her phone replies for me. She twirls her earring and elaborates. “My aunt’s a witch too, but nooo you had to drag me all the way there.”

“Why do you girls want to know your soulmates?” I say, crossing my arms. “Wouldn’t it be better to keep it a surprise?” Truthfully far from me to judge, I’m only asking to prod their intentions.

“We wanna know who’s gonna have the best boyfriend, of course!” the soccer girl grins smugly, leaning back up. “I bet it’s mine. He’s gonna be handsome and rich as heck!”

Glasses over there is a nervous mess, switching back and forth between tugging on her pigtails and biting her thumbnail.

Soccer girl continues her explanation, throwing a glance at phone girl. “But someone here thinks hers is gonna be better, so we came here to know for sure.”

Phone girl groans. “That witch can’t tell us Dee, you’re wasting your time. You’re just gonna have to trust that mine’s gonna be bett—”

“Yeah I can do that,” I say. I can probably make something up well enough to satisfy them.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeh!?” Glasses girl shrieks, finally breaking her silence. “B-but-but-but how?”

“I call bullcrap!” Phone girl slams her hand on the counter, making her bracelets jingle. “My aunt can’t do that!”

“Then I guess I’m just a more talented witch.” I theatrically stretch and get up from my stool. “How about you follow me in the back?”

Soccer girl pumps her fist and jumps over the counter, completely disregarding the flap door. “Hell yeah, the fight’s on!”

Phone girl quickly follows behind, jumping into an argument with soccer girl about whether I’m a phony. I look back at glasses girl. “You coming?” She hesitates for a second before rushing past me and trotting towards her friends.

 

We arrive in my Dazzleroom. That’s where I take my customers that require a spell on the go. The spectacle is an important part of convincing them it’s real, regardless of when it is and isn’t. I order them around a waist-high round table in the middle, then, taking my spot, I slide in a curtain to hide the bottom half of my face and reinforce the mystique. “So what’s all you three’s names?”

“I’m Daisy, but call me Dee!” Soccer girl replies immediately.

Glasses girl drums her fingers on the table. “Ah, uh, I’m— I’m Emily!” She blushes and smiles in a pretty telling way. “I’m Emily.” Dee bumps her in the shoulder before ruffling her hair.

“Well, happy to hear that you’re proud of your name, Emily.” She smiles even wider. I look at phone girl. She’s shoved it in her pocket by now though, so bubblegum girl? Not for long anyways. I bounce my eyebrows twice to get her to talk. Nothing. I tilt my head in her direction. Still nothing. “C’mon… The thing about being better than your aunt, just a rubbish joke, okay?”

She groans. “Fffine, I’m Stephanie.” She blows another bubble, letting it pop before chewing it back in. “But I still think you’re a con artist.”

“Then I shall prove you wrong.” I open up a drawer to fetch a pen and notepad.. “Now, what kind of partner are you three looking for?”

“Rich and handsome!” Dee brandishes her arm to the sky. “And strong too, I guess. Boys that are weaker than you always whine about it and expect you to sink to their level. If they’d ever do that, they’re out!”

I nod, doodle a little stick figure, and continue clockwise to Emily.

“I… erm… I-I-I don’t know if…” She drums her hands on the table again. “I-if-if I had to have a boyfriend, he’d have to accept me for who I am.”

Stephanie shakes her head. “Well that’s obvious. Low standards, Em. You gotta aim higher, girl.”

Dee energetically nods in agreement, and with their combined efforts, Emily eventually speaks up once more. “Then… I’d like if… my partner… shared my hobbies.” She retreats into her uniform, her cheeks fuming like she considers what she said to be scandalous. “A-and if he called me cute nicknames. I-I-I’d like that.”

“Hu-huh, hu-huh.” With a strained look on my face, I add a hat onto my little drawing person. “Got it. And Stephanie?”

She leans melodramatically, turning the table into her little podium. “My prince charming would come from a neighboring kingdom, we would have met at a socialite event where I was a waitress. His parents would’ve expected him to mingle with the high class, but when our gazes crossed, we knew it was love at first sight. We would’ve spent the entire evening slipping glances at each other, before he finally would’ve approached me. After exchanging our names and a few pleasantries, he would’ve asked for my phone number, but alas, it would be against company policy.” She gasps for dramatic effect. “Lost in such an unfair world, we would’ve almost lost touch there and then. But behind his parents’s back, he would search heaven and earth for a waitress named Stephanie, and finally track me down in a small apartment in the capital, and we would elope into a better life, together… We would have three children: two daughters and a boy; and one dog, one cat, three parrots, and two horses.”

I stare at her. Under the applause of her friends, I write down my notes for her story onto my notepad. ‘Someone inaccessible.’

 

Of course, there is no such thing as soulmates. Or rather if there was, they would be fleeting — your idea of your ideal partner would change as you yourself would. Who would be your soulmate in one moment could be completely replaced by someone else at another. The concept, at best, would be unreliable.

Yet it’s not like they gave me anything to work with in terms of what to make their made-up boys look like. ‘Treat me right’ this, ‘come from a fairytale’ that, they had helped Emily avoid the lowest common denominator but in no way were their ideas of their true loves any less nebulous. Though I suppose that is what they came to me for.

“So? What are our perfect boyfriends gonna be like?” Dee asks, grin on her face. “I bet mine’s better than Steph’s!”

“Urgh, in your dreams,” Stephanie replies with a keen smirk.

“I’m… going to need some time to attune my magic,” I diplomatically declare.

“What’s so good about a prince anyway? Won’t he have like, politics to care about or something?” Dee says.

“That’s what the eloping is for!” Stephanie replies like it’s self evident. “So that we don’t have to think about it! Plus, it’s romantic.”

“And you think nobody is gonna try to find the missing prince at all?” It’s Dee’s turn to grin, resting her chin on the back of her palm.

“Ah, well, a paparazzi every once in a while isn’t bad either…” Stephanie blows out another bubble.

Emily, in all this, seems content just listening, her eyes turning back and forth between her two friends as they banter. She has a small smile on her face.

The picture in my mind becomes clearer. I know the answer that these girls need.

With a snap of my fingers, I produce a spark to get their attention. “Girls, prepare to meet the men of your dreams.”

The ambiance is a lot different than earlier. Even Stephanie has come around, completely engrossed into our little session. I wave my hands above the table, powdering it in glistening energy. I raise my index up and start twirling it around, the magical energy coalesces into a miniature storm. It crackles and billows ominously as I change its hues from white to deep purple. The smoke splits and gathers into three distinct mounds, one in front of each of the girls. From each pile a column of magic rises, before extending itself into an oval shape at the top, wind whistling around each. The clouds dissipate to reveal three crystals slowly spinning in front of the girls.

I clear my throat, and speak soundly. “These gems will shoot up a ray which will seek out your soulmates. Once they connect, it will produce a locket of their faces, and I will be able to tell you as much as you want to hear about them. Or in other words, each of you will get to discover your ideal partner. After that, no takebacks. Are you ready?”

“Yeah!!” They exclaim as one.

A pure white ray beams out of each crystal and into the ceiling, buzzing with energy. I let the girls simmer in anticipation for a moment, and start the real part of my show.

I grunt. Seemingly out of my control, a thunderbolt flashes across each gem. The buzzing turns into blaring rumbling. The gems start rocking and wobbling at an angle. Then, accompanied by a grinding sound, each ray splits in two. “Cover your eyes!” I shout.

With a yelp from Emily, she and Stephanie follow my orders. Unfortunately for me, not Dee. She’s completely captivated by what she’s seeing… Meaning, I can’t tone down the spectacle quite yet. The half beams of the two gems that weren’t in front of her bend sharply in mid-air, plummeting straight towards the top of her head. The other four beams execute the same maneuver, their targets located at other ends of the table.

A moment later, all six beams retract back into the gems. They spin faster, faster, they start to shine with all colors of the rainbow. I cover Dee’s eyes with my hand, and the crystals let out an explosive noise.

The gems come apart, revealing inside small lockets of Emily, Stephanie and Dee — two of each, distributed accordingly.

I give them a moment to speak up first.

“That. Was. Awesome,” Dee mutters.

“I’m terribly sorry about this, girls,” I say as the other two uncover their eyes and discover the present waiting for them on the table. “I didn’t expect each of you to have two soulmates! Can you believe it?”

Dee’s eyes go wide, and her grin goes even wider. She picks up both of her pendants under her thumbs and start wildly checking her two friends out. “No way, no way no way no way!”

Emily looks at her own necklaces. She sighs in relief, and holds them against her chest. She stays silent, but she looks serene for the first time since she set foot in my shop.

And if you had expected Emily to devolve into blushing, Stephanie picks up the slack. Her head darts from the lockets to Emily to Dee, back to the lockets, to Dee, to Emily, faster and faster, her face heating up more and more. “That…! Can’t be right! I’m… Straight! I’m straight! I’m straight I’m straight I’m straight imstraightimstraightimstraight—” With one last complaint, her head suddenly freezes, she puffs out a heart shaped cloud out of her mouth. Seems like she must have had the Gift herself. Her legs wobble and she sinks onto the table, muttering “My soulmates are girls…” with the happiest of smiles on her face.

 

“I know I already said this but I’m so deeply, unbelievably sorry, girls, this wasn’t supposed to happen,” I type nonsense onto my cash register, pretending to be distressed out of my mind. “This is all on me, okay? No payment required! We good?”

“Magic is awesome!” Dee grins, holding onto Stephanie’s hand tight. The poor girl in question is the filling of their hand-holding sandwich, still not really there and puffing out a smoke heart every now and again. All three of the girls are wearing their precious necklaces. It’s adorable.

“We’ll make sure to come back, Miss Otrera,” Emily says, weaving her fingers into Stephanie’s and causing another hiccup of magic. “Thank you so much for your help.”

I give them a relieved smile, and wave them goodbye as they step through the door. ‘Dililing!’ goes my doorbell at their departure.

It takes a lot of work to make new loyal customers.