Connie listened patiently as Lia finished explaining the situation. “I see how it is, but I’m afraid I can’t just give advice for free…” She began.
“Two boxes of soda.” Lia offered.
“Deal.” Connie said. It was a price that didn’t even come close to accurately representing what Connie’s advice was worth, but she had grown a soft spot for the kitsune, so she let it go. “Like I was saying, it strikes me as a poor idea. To be honest, there is a significant amount of trepidation surrounding the situation with Ira, and it’s one a lot of the gods are trying to use as leverage against you. Attempting to…get creative with it is, frankly, asking for trouble.
“In fact, I personally think the best way to handle the situation is to just kill Ira now. Total personality erasure is a huge no-no, and I know that a fair few of the gods that are harping on the point would much prefer it if Ira was just killed outright. However, they’re banking on you not killing him and going with the total personality erasure, so it’s going to throw them for a loop. It’s not like you need his strength anymore, the only thing you’d really be missing out on is Gluttony, but…give it time. I think you’ll find that his death would solve several problems for you.”
In fact, Connie was pretty sure that, once Ira was killed, Gluttony would make its way over to Alisha shortly. One condition you could meet to get it was to have siphoned a significant amount of power from other living creatures or even objects, and Connie couldn’t think of anyone on that plane who had gained more power from outside sources than Alisha, even if Alisha couldn’t manifest all of that power at the moment. And, at least for Lia’s purposes, Alisha would make a far more useful holder of the Title.
Lia frowned. “Several problems?”
“Do you trust me?”
Lia paused. “Well…yeah, I guess.”
“You guess? Most people would do anything for my raw, unfiltered advice.”
“And most people haven’t had you try and take every last drop of their money.” Lia grumbled.
Connie chuckled. She liked how Lia had begun to open up more with her, and talking with her was fun in a way that talking with the other gods just wasn’t. “I am the Goddess of Commerce.” Connie said. “It’s practically required of me!”
“And that’s why I trust you.” Lia said. “I’m your only source of Blood Money, you have a vested interest in keeping me around.”
Connie smiled inwardly. “You got me there. Just trust me on this one, kay?”
“I will. Thanks, Connie.”
Connie transported a couple cases of soda to the exit portal, then subtracted the cost from Lia’s account…minus a bit for buying in bulk. “As usual, the soda is by the exit. Oh, and once you’re finished up out there, I’ve decided it’s finally time to gift you that facility. Block out the evening and come enjoy a bit of alone time with your lovers!”
Lia nodded. “Will do. See you in a bit.”
“In a bit!” Connie said cheerfully, giving her a wave and unsealing Alisha’s senses as she left.
“You know…” Matthew said, teleporting into the Dimension of Discounts. “I seem to recall a certain Hero thinking that the sign that you were falling for him was that you would start offering stuff for basically free.”
“Give it up, Matthew.” Connie groaned. “It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not.” Connie said firmly. “Like she said, she’s my only source of Blood Money, and I have to offer some price so I’m not punished for favoring her too much.”
“And yet you know she’s willing to pay significantly more than you charge her.” Matthew said, clearly unconvinced. “But I suppose that’s neither here nor there. I need your advice.”
Connie rolled her eyes. Recently, the Dimension of Discounts was starting to become less like her safe haven, and more like a meeting place for the gods who supported the swarm, something that annoyed her to no end. “What is it?” She asked wearily.
“I was trying to design monsters that would be resistant to conversion, and I figured you would have some insight on the matter.”
“Me?” Connie asked, blinking in surprise. “That’s normally Marvin’s sort of thing.”
“Yes, but I know you’ve been working on countermeasures for overuse of Blood Money since the incident, and what Blood Money did to your body is remarkably similar to what conversion does, if much less dramatic. Not to imply that you’ve been converted or anything, I know Jerry wouldn’t allow that, but you probably have the most experience of all of us in this regard.”
Connie sighed. “How much Worship are you willing to spend? Because if you want to use my method, you’re going to have to be willing to spend some on these monsters; I don’t know about conversion, but with Blood Money I had to take safeguards against the innate Worship found within it.”
“Marvin’s confirmed that conversion does indeed generate small amounts of Worship when making the mental changes stick.” Matthew confirmed. “Another fascinating part of the process, but one that is highly frustrating to work around. I was afraid you’d say this, but I guess if that’s how it is, I won’t have any choice but to spend a little on the more important monsters. How much are you thinking?”
“I doubt you need more than a few points per monster to weather the initial storm, and then they can coast using another point or two.” Connie replied. “Then again, their innate resistance to this sorta thing is much lower than ours…I don’t know. I was mostly blocking further changes by keeping a ton of the stuff on hand and letting it bolster my natural resistances. It’s not efficient, but I have plenty of time to figure out something better later. Either way, I’d listen to whatever Marvin says, he’s a lot better at this stuff than I am.”
“Alright. Thanks for your time, Connie.” Matthew said, then smirked slightly. “I’ll buy some soda off of you, as thanks for your time.”
“Give it a rest, Matthew, our relationship is strictly professional. Sheesh, people like you see romance in every little interaction.”
“I never said anything about Lia.” Matthew said, his infuriating smirk growing. “I just offered to buy some soda. Could it be that you have linked the act of someone wanting to buy some soda to a romantic gesture?”
“Shut up, Matthew.” Connie groaned. “Go work on your monsters.”
“And the soda?”
Connie manifested a can of soda, which she threw at him. “Just take it and leave.”
Matthew didn’t respond, but chuckled as he teleported out. She really didn’t know where he was getting the idea from; yes, Lia was a fun person to talk with, and yes, Connie was maybe showing her a bit more favor than was strictly necessary, and yes, she always looked forward to their meetings, but that didn’t mean she was in love. She just…made a new friend, that was all.
She filed that thought away, then got back to work on the bathhouse. If she was reading the situation right, that would be the one they picked, and she wanted to be sure it was up to snuff.
“She said it’s a bad idea, and we should just kill him.” Lia informed the others. “She was being vague, but said that if we did that it’d solve a couple of problems for us, not least of which is taking away something gods are apparently using to argue against us.”
“Are you sure?” Amelia frowned. “We could use his power.”
“It’s not quite as necessary as it was before.” Rose said. “Lia has a Sin Title, and I have a Virtue Title. I believe the goodwill of the gods is far more important than one such Title.” She paused, looking at Lia thoughtfully. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask, did you leave anything out about Pride? It seems a lot weaker than Diligence, and that doesn’t sit right with me, they should be roughly equivalent.”
“Sort of? It was really vague, it says that my stat bonus scales with the number of important people I rule and the total populace, up to a maximum of five times? I just figured we wouldn’t be breaching the two or three times mark for a while so I had mentally categorized it as a two times boost. That and you’re, um, kind of really hot and I was super distracted when I mentioned it.”
Rose blushed fiercely. “I…thank you. And that description makes significantly more sense to me.”
“What are the conditions to getting those kinds of Titles?” Amelia asked. “I mean, I know this sounds haughty, but it strikes me as odd that I don’t have one yet. I’ve achieved quite a bit more than maybe anyone who’s ever lived.”
Rose shrugged. “Couldn’t tell you. The requirements seem somewhat abstract, and the reason you get the Title is often different than the reason someone else got the Title in the past. All we can say for sure is that only one person has each specific Title at a time, and they’re hard to lose once you have them. As far as I know, it’s happened one time, but that’s it.”
“So, you’re saying that whatever I would qualify for is probably held by someone else?” Amelia asked.
“That’s likely.” Rose said. “But I imagine that as we proceed down this path, one will come to you eventually. Like you said, you’ve achieved significantly more than the vast majority of people ever will in their lives.”
There was a pause, then Amelia spoke. “So…do we want to kill him now?”
“Let’s wait on that.” Lia said. “Connie said that she’s letting us pick out our facility, and she wants us to have a date there for the rest of the evening. I get the feeling that no matter what happens dealing with Ira is going to be a downer, and there’s no harm in waiting another day.”
Amelia perked up. “Which one are you picking?” She asked excitedly.
“I’m letting you choose.” Lia said. “This came from your efforts, so you deserve to make the choice.”
Amelia broke into a grin. “I already know which one I want!” She said. “Let me go check and make sure I don’t need to grab any more letters from the outside, and then I’ll be ready!” She turned and dashed off towards one of the work rooms, leaving Rose and Lia alone.
“Alisha, I’m going to have to ask you to wait here.” Lia said, taking Alisha off of her finger and setting her down on an end table. “Sorry, lovers only.”
I understand, my Queen. Alisha said.
After a minute or two, Amelia came back into the room. “Everything’s ready!” She said cheerfully, grabbing Lia and Rose’s hands. “Let’s go!”
Lia dutifully opened the portal to the Dimension of Discounts, and stepped into it with her lovers in tow.
“Congratulations, you three!” Connie said. Though her movements and tone of voice were superficially excited, Lia couldn’t help but notice that Connie never looked Lia in the face for more than a brief moment. Unaware or uncaring of the fact that Lia noticed, Connie continued. “You’re getting one of three fabulous facilities! Which one is your fancy, Lia?”
“Amelia will be picking.” Lia replied. “It’s her reward, she picks what it is.”
Connie locked eyes with Amelia. “Very well, what’ll it be?”
“The hot spring!” Amelia said immediately. “Lia said towels and other bathing needs were included, right?”
“Correct. Now, give me one moment…” Connie walked over to a seemingly empty space, rubbed her hands together, then placed them flat on the ground. The floor opened up, sliding into itself like a pair of sliding doors, and there was a low rumbling as something began to rise from below them. After a moment, Lia was able to make out the top of a building, which quickly rose until the whole thing was visible.
Though the building was made of wood, it wasn’t in any construction style that Lia was familiar with; it had strange paper-looking sheeting set into it and ornately tiled roofing of a type that Lia had never quite seen before. In only about half a minute or so, the bottom of the building became visible, set on a piece of flooring identical to the one that had just opened.
Once the building had stopped moving, Connie entered, and motioned for the rest to follow her. The inside of the building was as unfamiliar to Lia as the outside, the decorations and furnishings all of make that seemed completely unlike those she was used to.
Connie walked behind a desk, reaching down and grabbing three cards, which she proffered to Lia and her lovers. “Just swipe these at the keypads near locked doors and they’ll let you in.” Connie instructed. “Feel free to go wherever, nothing’s off-limits for you three.”
“What do you mean swipe?” Lia asked, accepting a card.
“Let me show you.” Connie said, grabbing another card from underneath the desk, then walking over to a door. Once everyone had gathered around, she tapped the card against a black box on set on the wall next to the door. A red light became green, and there was a small click, then Connie pushed the door open. “It’s a locking system.” She explained. “It’s not super important right now, but it’s the principle of the thing, you know? Plus, if you ever want private baths but want others to be able to use different baths, there’s that option. Anyway, I’ll leave you lovers to it, if you need anything, just press a call button and I’ll be right over.”
“Call…button?” Lia asked.
Connie motioned at a green button near the door. “One of these.” She said. “You press it in, and it’ll alert me that you need something. Just don’t overuse it, okay?”
“We won’t.” Lia promised. “So…which way to the changing rooms?”
“Down this hall. Everything’s labeled, so don’t worry about getting lost.” Connie said, moving back towards the desk. “I’ll see you all when you’re finished!”
“Thank you, Connie.” Rose said.
“Can I have a moment to chat with her?” Amelia asked. “You two go on ahead.”
“Sure.” Lia replied. “Just don’t take too long, okay?”
“It’ll only take a couple of minutes, I just need to confirm something.” Amelia replied.
“Alright.” Lia said. “Come on Rose, let’s go check this place out!”
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but that didn’t mean she was in love.
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