Chapter 54. Rallying for Change (1/3).
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Chapter 54. Rallying for Change (1/3).

Announcement
—CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains heavy emotions and suicidal thoughts, IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE SUCH, PLEASE DO NOT READ! I WARN YOU!

 

Please read on the next page, forward.

 

 

After we reached back to the town hall, Helesta laid out a piece of paper on the table as she looked at us with a serious gaze, “As most of you know by now, the town is about to transition into a critical crisis phase soon with the forest being burnt and the farmlands being unusable.”

 

“I am mainly an outsider to this entire issue but as someone who is more experienced in this field, I am going to give all of you two options to go by, and of those options is to rally the imprisonment of those knights who cowardly left and also to push forward an issue to this kingdom to receive emergency funding.”

 

My body limply fell on the sofa as the wound from the battle started to heal itself with the worried eyes of the others. I wasn’t exactly untouched from the battle and had quite the injury that only started to remind itself after reaching back, especially on my arms where it was bitten hard.

 

“What is the other option?” Aitsuki questioned.

 

“Aitsuki, as much as I want all of your opinions, the three of you shouldn’t be part of this issue. The three of you aren’t part of this town, though you may be architects here, the three of you are still hired under Aya and aren’t residences here,” Helesta spoke to which Aitsuki, and Kyle quickly remembered.

 

It was true that Aitsuki and the others really have no jurisdiction of decision in this since they are people I hired from another town to work for us. The best decision for me to do with them is to have them return to their town right now which pains me as the town is progressing nicely until recently.

 

“As for the other option, it may be the one that leads to a lot of bloodsheds but can also bring a major change in the town and that is to rebel against the kingdom and separate the town from the kingdom either to become an independent kingdom or to join up with mine which I am fine with, but I don’t have full guarantees about the other demons,” Helesta gaze became even more serious.

 

I looked up at the ceiling and laughed, “You expect this little town to become a full-fledged kingdom by itself, you must be joking. Clearly, the other option you have in mind is to bring this town to your kingdom, right?”
 

“As for my option, I won’t let this place become part of yours. I may have experienced the warmth of the demons and your kindness but that doesn’t mean I can guarantee the safety of everyone in this town. I can’t guarantee that the kindness and warmth I felt are your true faces.”

 

Showing their anger, the two knights glared at me, but Helesta stopped them as she sighed, “You are mistaken, Aya. A kingdom isn’t born strong from the start, it allies itself with many others to become stronger and unique.”

 

“The other offer I am giving to you is to ally with us with a mutual contract or even an advantageous contract and expand forward. It may be a risky task and also a very tiring task as you will have to venture outside your comfort zone and enter other kingdoms as a diplomat to make relations, but the rewards may be better than being in control of another kingdom.”

 

“And where is my security in this advantageous contract, where can the people get the confidence that you are showing with us signing this alliance?” I looked at her in the eye, “I am not opposing you, Helesta but I also don’t want to risk the people that placed me as their leader.”

 

“I want you to tell me, how can I really trust that you aren’t like Ferze or the fake religion?!” I unconsciously shouted before freezing as Ayaka and the others looked at me with worry. I felt stressed out over everything and wanted to lock myself in a room.

 

My eyes wanted to cry from all this stress. All of these responsibilities. I didn’t want to become a leader; it wasn’t my choice to become one but how can I reject all the people that placed their trust in me?

 

I didn’t want to look at them and immediately triggered most of the Chronos blessings that I received, freezing time for several minutes as I ran upstairs and slammed myself into my room as time resumed itself.

 

My mind was clouded. It was in heavy pain. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I slammed my head with a pillow several times. I was annoyed… I was annoyed… so annoyed… I didn’t know what to do. A proud heiress, my face…

 

I felt exhausted from everything. My mind wanted to simply stop working. My chest felt super tight as the pillow that I mashed my face with was drenched with tears. What should I really do?! What can I do?! I am just a useless person!

 

“Why…” I bit my lip in annoyance, gripping onto the pillow as more and more tears fell from my eyes.

 

I kept smacking myself with the pillow. I didn’t know what to do. I was alone in this world. I had no one to lean on…. I didn’t want to be their leader!!! I hate this… I hate my uselessness! I hate myself the most… why?!
 

WHY CAN’T I JUST BE MYSELF?! Why does it have to be me who has to lead everyone?! LEAVE ME ALONE! I hate this! Whyyyyy?!

 

I kept crying and crying as the minutes goes by. I couldn’t hear anything but the sound of my tears and my heart as it continued to beat out loud. It was like the lights had turned off, everything felt blurry and dark. I didn’t want to look anywhere else. I just wanted to be alone.

 

As time passed by, my gaze somehow turned towards my wrist with a faint bit of hesitation. I didn’t know why but I felt attracted to those slender and slim wrists of mine. My head felt a bit gray and clouded. I didn’t know why I was staring at my wrists, but I felt like…

 

I felt that if somehow, these slender wrists of mine were to bled red. Would that mean I am human, would that make everything better? What if it bled blue or green? What if it bled nothing but dust like the vampire I am?

 

My mind grew curious with each passing moment. The blankness and emptiness inside my heart grew louder as the thoughts inside my head grew darker, the number of what-ifs on me intensified like an echoing voice.

 

I could feel my hand reaching out towards my wrist as a deep red glow clouded it, forming a sharp knife as my gaze continued to stare at those empty wrists of mine, filled with veins and other kinds of living needs.

 

My eyes widened as my gaze grew stronger towards the wrist, my hand inched closer before a loud shout echoed inside the room.

 

“AYA! DON’T!”

 

And like that… everything turned black.

holy potatoes. did i write this months ago?! this is insane. that even i am surprised this happened.

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