Sung Ho sat in his car and spaced out

Before meeting Ji Hyun again, his heart was full of hatred and disgust towards him. Perhaps it was the driving force that got him to where he was today. There were even a few times he thought of flaunting his achievements in Ji Hyun's face if he ever saw him again, as immature as it sounded. His head was full of Ji Hyun even after the breakup, tongue coated with a thick layer of bitterness. He wanted to break him, consume him, see him beg for mercy and forgiveness. 

But.. his desire deflated when he saw the Ji Hyun now. He should be happy right? Ji Hyun got retribution, was suffering, and seemed to be mentally ill as well. Sung Ho thought his heart had hardened and he would be able to be cruel towards Ji Hyun. His frown deepened.

Sung Ho started the car and lit a cigarette, he stopped himself from thinking further, afraid of his thoughts going somewhere it shouldn't. 

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"Were you trying to kill me? My back felt like it was going to break- tsk, the fuck Sung Ho, there's blood!!" the slim raven-haired man angrily said as he reached over to grab tissues to wipe his ass. 

"Keep your volume down Min Gi, I'll just pay for your hospital bill then" Sung Ho blew smoke into Min Gi's face. 

"Who dares offend Director Park to the point my ass has to suffer like this" Min Gi retorted sarcastically while waving away the cloud of smoke. "Don't call me again if you're just going to abuse my lovely chrysanthemum, I don't do that kind of play." 

Sung Ho and Min Gi were simply put, friends with benefits. Sung Ho was okay with this arrangement with Min Gi because Min Gi was discreet and would never cross the line with burdensome emotions despite his uncouth way of speaking. They both were only using each other to satisfy their physical desires. Sung Ho dumped those who had started to grow feelings for him or could not tolerate his roughness. 

Min Gi was an established actor with seven years of acting under his belt, now twenty-five years old, he just wanted to have a no-strings-attached arrangement. Love and relationships were roadblocks in his pursuit to become even more famous and accomplished. Sung Ho was an ideal sex buddy because firstly, due to his power, meetings could be discreet, secondly, romantic emotions were off the table, and lastly, Sung Ho was physically attractive, not to mention was well endowed below. 

Sung Ho clicked his tongue and looked at the mole underneath Min Gi's left eye. His preferences were always people who had some resemblance to Ji Hyun, however, Sung Ho would never admit to it. "Yea yea, who was the one who got excited when I was slamming into his-" Min Gi covered Sung Ho's mouth with a hand. "Shut up" Min Gi growled. 

Sung Ho smacked away the hand and opened up his message notification on his phone. 

Yuri: Sung Ho ah, I kept your involvement in that issue a secret, but I found out something interesting, curious?

It was a message from Han Yuri. Han Yuri's mother and Sung Ho's mother were good friends back when they were still poor, and so they had met each other from time to time and became friends. After Yuri finished her medical studies, Sung Ho's mother caught wind of it and persuaded Sung Ho to hire her since they needed an in-house doctor for his company's sickbay. 

 

Sung Ho: Spit it out

 

Yuri: Still cold as ever huh Sung Ho 

 

Sung Ho: I'm going to block you if you don't get to the point

 

Yuri: ok ok

Yuri: You're no fun you know that

Yuri: That boy you brought in.. he was applying for a position here you know? 

 

Sung Ho: ???

Sung Ho's eyes widened

 

Yuri: As an admin staff, but he couldn't make it to the interview. He was sleeping in my sickbay. 

Yuri: I looked into his records. He has depression and social anxiety. It seems like he is on medications as well. 

 

Sung Ho frowned and sat up properly. 

 

Yuri: I'm telling you because he applied here and if ever you knew you would be able to find out about his condition anyways. 

Yuri: Is he important to you? 

 

Sung Ho: Don't pry noona

Sung Ho: But.. thanks for telling me

Sung Ho: Send me his address 

 

Yuri: Don't know how to say please? 

 

"..." Sung Ho was annoyed

Sung Ho: Please

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Ji Hyun had already woken up and went back home. He was pretty sure he did not wear his scarf when he napped at the bench, but his wallet and phone were untouched in his bag. He just felt lucky he wasn't robbed... not that they would get much out of it anyway. 

It was 8 pm now, Ji Hyun turned and tossed in his bed, unable to fall asleep. He had taken a day off to recuperate from his panic attack, but his body wasn't lenient to him. Thoughts about the morning were buzzing around his mind. 

Was it really Sung Ho he met? If so, Ji Hyun wondered how Sung Ho would have felt. Probably disgusted and shocked. Ji Hyun felt full of shame and self-hatred. 

The interview was definitely a failure, he didn't even show up. Ji Hyun felt his tummy rumble but chose to ignore it for a while more, he couldn't afford to eat every time he was hungry. 

Ji Hyun got up and started counting all the money he had left. He had about 250000won (approx. 220USD) left, just enough for next month's rent. But he couldn't live on air.. and his medications were running out soon, he had about two day's worth left. 

He lived in a Goshiwon, a one-room small flat, it was old and shabby, mold was growing off the wall and the appliances were all on their last lap of life. A far cry from the villa he used to live in. It was the cheapest he could find, his family had frozen his funds and his reckless spending in his teenage days left him with no savings. When they chased him out for good, they prepared a suitcase that they had randomly thrown together, conveniently leaving out his luxury goods that could sell off for a good amount of money. 

He survived off take-outs until he could no longer afford them and had no choice but to find a job. Cup noodles and leftovers from the convenience store were his sustenance. "Achoo!" He sneezed. Ji Hyun realized the heater was turned on yet felt cold, he smacked it a few times and it buzzed back to life. 

He carefully hung up the red scarf to air it out. It was the only thing left that reminded him of Sung Ho, undoubtedly his most precious belonging in his name. 

Actually, death didn't seem that bad, the more he lived this way, the more he felt so. He had no one to come home to, life was a repetition of work, hiding in his flat, eating, shitting, and attempting to sleep. He didn't even have the desire to jerk off much, life was boring. 

He wouldn't bother anyone, maybe except the people who had to deal with his body.. and no one would bother him. Ji Hyun was really scared to be homeless. And with his medications finishing.. he knew the thoughts would start swarming and become overwhelming. 

He was exhausted. 

He sat quietly staring at the red scarf as his thoughts slowly spiraled downwards. Suddenly he felt his phone buzz. 

It was a message stating he had secured the role he was applying for in the company he was supposed to have been interviewed in today. The message also explained that they were hiring him based on the resume and that an interview was not needed. 

Ji Hyun was skeptical since it sounded fishy so he called the company to make sure. After getting off the phone with the human resource staff of the company, he finally believed he had a full-time job now. 

He had a full-time job now! 

Ji Hyun happily rolled around on his mattress with small sparkles in his eyes. Maybe things weren't that bad now, he just had to endure one more month living this way, then he would be able to afford proper meals. He could then finally replace his underwear and socks which were full of holes. He could also slowly save up to shift to somewhere better! 

Ji Hyun hadn't felt this good in a while and he was smiling to himself like an idiot. He got up and went to freshen up and do some grooming. He properly shaved, trimmed his hair a little, and tied up the back of his hair. 

Stuffing some change into his sweat pants pocket, he headed out to the convenience store to say goodbye to the one colleague who worked the graveyard shift with him for the past few months. He hadn't had alcohol in months as well and felt like rewarding himself with a bottle of soju. 

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"Ji Hyun ah! What are you doing here? I heard you were sick!" 

"Uncle Yoo..! I-I got a job.." Ji Hyun flashed Uncle Yoo a toothy smile. Uncle Yoo watched Ji Hyun slowly warm up to him, but he had never seen Ji Hyun smile, until now. His large and rough palm ruffled Ji Hyun's hair. 

"I'm so happy for you Ji Hyun ah! A smile suits you the best!" 

They spoke for a while then when Ji Hyun bought soju, Uncle Yoo threw in an additional bottle, a few snacks, and paid for everything as a treat. Ji Hyun tried to refuse but couldn't win Uncle Yoo's insistence. 

Ji Hyun's steps had a light skip to them. He always felt heavy, but today, it seemed that things were finally looking up for him. He rubbed his red nose and patted his rosy cheeks while quickening his pace back to his place.

'A smile suits me the best... huh' Ji Hyun was thinking about what Uncle Yoo had said.