Chapter 5
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"Think carefully… then reply" Sung Ho shook his head exasperatedly, giving Ji Hyun a chance to take back what he had said. 

"Y-Yes... I said Yes" Ji Hyun nervously repeated himself. 

Sung Ho sighed… His taunt was like throwing punches at cotton. He was so sure that Ji Hyun would remain unchanged, but it seemed he was the only one still foolishly stuck in the past. The fuzzily cold memories of the person that left him no longer vivid as the passionate exchange they shared. He was convinced he wanted Ji Hyun to suffer, to regret, and he got exactly that, and more. But witnessing Ji Hyun’s hopeless outlook and disregard for himself made him feel like he was splashed with icy cold water.

Sung Ho's hands trembled as realization washed over him, he still loved Ji Hyun, by himself, he had never gotten over him. He had obsessively chased after his shadow but called it hate. Etching their memories onto himself by carving them into his bones to not forget.

Seeing Ji Hyun cry and hurt roused an insatiable itch in his heart, he hated it. He could never erase the dazzling bright smile of the sweaty boy who noticed him in the crowd whilst crossing the finishing line, shrouded in the golden rays of sunset. The breath caught in his throat, painful thumping in his chest, it was like time stopped, and took a picture of the moment he fell in love. 

Ji Hyun probably thought he was the one who fell in love first, persistently chasing him, but like a well-kept secret, it remained only known to himself.

Sung Ho was now painfully aware of his one-sided feelings. What a beautiful story it would’ve been if Ji Hyun loved him too after so long, Sung Ho scoffed at himself for even thinking so naively. 

He offered his body, promised his life, but that did not mean Ji Hyun loved him. 

Sung Ho snapped out of his thoughts when Ji Hyun’s icy fingers touched his hand in concern. He dressed Ji Hyun and wiped his face. He cooled Ji Hyun’s puffy red eyes with an ice pack wrapped in a fluffy towel after beckoning him to lay his head down on his lap. 

It had been six years. They had so much to talk about, however, there was an air of fragility around Ji Hyun, it felt like he would shatter with the slightest touch. He had changed, so did Ji Hyun, both vastly different from who they were back then. The only thing he knew for sure was that he had to keep Ji Hyun close, even if their relationship was ambiguous. 

"Sung Ho... I.. I'll pay you okay? For staying here and for food expenses. I found a full-time job at a Biotech company... I'm starting two days later. I'll work hard" Ji Hyun didn't know if it was his imagination, he felt that Sung Ho froze and applied slightly more pressure for a moment on his eyes. 

Sung Ho was glad Ji Hyun couldn't see his frowning face. He couldn't tell Ji Hyun that it was his company.. and that he made sure he got the job.. he stopped himself from sighing again. He felt like if sighed anymore he was going to age even quicker. He didn't want Ji Hyun to feel bad so... "Okay.. that's good" Sung Ho gently kissed Ji Hyun's forehead. "Let's go get some clothes for you later okay? Be good, don't refuse me".

Ji Hyun felt that Sung Ho's tone returned to when they were together. He tried to stop his tears from coming out again, if not his eyes would forever be puffy. He also knew better than to refuse Sung Ho's kindness even though he felt bad about accepting it... He was already pinned down twice for making him angry "Okay..".

They went about their daily routine, Ji Hyun rolled lazily in bed while Sung Ho prepared and went to work. Sung Ho had promised to be back by evening to bring him shopping. He had also already prepared lunch for Ji Hyun in the fridge and instructed him to heat it up at noon and not force himself to finish it. 

Ji Hyun continued lazing on the bed even after Sung Ho left, breathing in the comforting scent that seemed to have a sedative effect on him. A sense of happiness welled in his heart for Sung Ho, he lived comfortably in such a big mansion, Ji Hyun could only wonder how hard Sung Ho had worked to be able to afford this place. He lazily got out of bed and pulled the blinds shut, and hugging Sung Ho's pillow, he hid in the large comforter. 

-------------------------------------------

The sky was dark, Sung Ho was caught up with work and only managed to reach home at 7 pm. "Ji Hyun?" He called out as he entered his home. The lights were all off, it seemed like a normal day of him coming home to no one. Sung Ho opened the fridge and saw the lunch still inside, untouched. He quickly went to the bedroom, imagining that Ji Hyun ran away, it felt hard to breathe as he approached the room. ‘Please be inside…’.

He turned the doorknob and opened the door slowly. A wave of relief washed over him when he heard soft snoring and saw Ji Hyun's figure like a hamster burrowed in the comforter. He didn't run away.

But it was strange, how long did Ji Hyun sleep for? To the point he had even skipped lunch. Sung Ho sat beside Ji Hyun and pulled down the comforter to expose his face. Ji Hyun looked peaceful, face squished against his pillow. This sight pulled at his heartstrings, he pushed away the hair messily covering Ji Hyun's face and bent down and kissed his forehead.

Though he was tempted to let Ji Hyun continue sleeping, he had already missed a meal. He sat Ji Hyun up and pulled the pillow away, Ji Hyun sleepily clung onto Sung Ho tightly like a koala bear and nuzzled into his chest. Sung Ho carried Ji Hyun into his walk-in closet, dressed, and tied and combed the hair of the sleepy hamster. He then carried Ji Hyun into his car and buckled both of their seatbelts. They arrived at a street with high-end brands and restaurants. 

Sung Ho left Ji Hyun in the car and brought back food. When he came back he silently sat beside Ji Hyun.

Sung Ho had searched online about social anxiety and depression since he left for work, wanting to understand more about the behaviors Ji Hyun had. He was worried but he knew he couldn't tell Ji Hyun he knew... he wanted to wait till Ji Hyun would tell him on his own accord. Come to think of it, Ji Hyun was supposed to be on medications... But they probably went up in flames like his flat. 

While searching, Ji Hyun finally roused from his sleep and looked around with hazy-looking eyes. He remembered sleeping in the bed but now he was in a car. "A..ah.. sorry.." Ji Hyun hoarsely mumbled and wiped away the bit of drool coming out from the corner of his mouth. Sung Ho smiled and ruffled Ji Hyun's hair. "Why didn't you have lunch?" Sung Ho flashed a look of concern, Ji Hyun looked confused and saw the time. "Ahh... I didn't know I slept so long... I usually can't sleep well.." Ji Hyun embarrassedly explained. 

Sung Ho opened the take-out from the restaurant and fed Ji Hyun. "Let me know when you feel full, don't force yourself to finish." 

Ji Hyun sleepily ate, the food in front of him were all things he loved to eat. So even though he was full, he ate till he was bursting. Sung Ho had chosen foods gentle on the tummy and prepared an extra plastic bag in case Ji Hyun couldn’t stomach the food. Sung Ho then quickly ate his food while Ji Hyun patted his tummy in bliss. 

Sung Ho wanted to see how bad Ji Hyun's condition was.. So he planned situations for tonight that Ji Hyun had to interact with people. 

They were parked in front of a salon that had long closed for the day. His hairstylist friend, Jung Tae Kyung, gladly accepted his request for a session. They both stepped out of the car, Ji Hyun was dressed in a baggy white turtleneck with a light brown long coat and black pants. The pants were a little too big and long but the belt kept it in place, ends folded up a few times. The whole outfit was definitely expensive, Ji Hyun had not kept up with luxury brand launches anymore but he could still recognize the brands of the clothing and shoes he was wearing were probably up to season. 

Sung Ho's warm palms held his and led him into the shop. "Sung Ho~ You're so mean, the last time you came was two months ago, I missed you!" A middle-aged man with makeup and dressed in classy feminine clothing appeared from the back, giving Sung Ho a peck on each cheek. "Mhm, Maman" Sung Ho smiled, "I apologize"

Sung Ho felt Ji Hyun shuffle behind him, he stopped Ji Hyun and stood behind him instead, pressing down on the escapist's shoulders, a soft "eek" was heard. "Maman, I need you to work on this person instead, I'll come another day for myself" he flashed another charming smile. 

"Ah! Where did you find this sad little puppy!" Tae Kyung lifted Ji Hyun's fringe and maneuvered his chin to get a better look. Ji Hyun flinched and froze like a statue, lips turning pale. "Okay come come, sit him down over there." 

Sung Ho held Ji Hyun's hand and guided him to the chair, he noticed Ji Hyun's breaths seemed a little quick, and his hands were squeezed. "Don't worry, I'll be by your side okay? You can close your eyes. Trust in Maman's skills. Hold on, I'll be back" he quickly went to get a stool to sit beside Ji Hyun and reconnected hands. "Be good" he whispered into Ji Hyun's ears. Ji Hyun nodded and squeezed shut his eyes. 

Tae Kyung performed his magic on Ji Hyun. He was a thorough professional, concentrating on his art, that was how he always had returning high profile customers, such as celebrities, athletes, and politicians et cetera. He had never seen Sung Ho make that kind of expression, intently watching his subject with a slight smile, rubbing his thumb on the other’s as a comforting gesture. 

Ji Hyun's whole person looked refreshed and clean. His shaggy hairstyle had disappeared, eyebrows now neat and sharp, and had no trace of unruly facial hair. He looked like he had aged in reverse, losing two years. "Done! Ah! What a handsome puppy!" Tae Kyung exclaimed in delight. "Open your eyes Ji Hyun" Sung Ho whispered again into Ji Hyun's ears. 

He slowly opened his eyes, they widened to the point his light brown eyes seemed to sparkle like marbles as he admired the person in the mirror. He hadn't looked so good in years, even before he was kicked out of his home. Depression had a strong grip on him for a good two years, he didn't bother to upkeep his image except for the occasional basic grooming. 

"Th-thank yo..you" his voice sounded strained like he was going to cry. "Stop!!! Tears will ruin your face!! Don't cry!!" Tae Kyung screeched. Ji Hyun sat at attention, startled by the high pitch screech. "Y-Yes!!" He bit down on his lips and looked constipated trying to focus on stopping his tears. Sung Ho burst out laughing, the sight in front of him was too funny. Tae Kyung smiled, he had also never seen Sung Ho laugh so heartily, he registered in his mind that this boy was probably a special entity to Sung Ho. 

Sung Ho thanked Tae Kyung and promised to patronize his establishment soon. They both went on their way to shop for clothes. Sung Ho brought Ji Hyun to shops with low human traffic, namely luxury shops. He noticed Ji Hyun would either stay mute or mumble thanks, flinching whenever someone touched him for measurements, and looked constantly nervous and on edge. They managed to place orders for delivery for a few suits, outfits, shoes, socks, underwear, and accessories. Ji Hyun wanted to refuse them but he was too overwhelmed to say anything, like a plastic bag drifting wherever the wind blew. 

When they went back in the car, Ji Hyun flopped in and relaxed. He was mentally drained and exhausted. They drove back and repeated the process of bathing, dressing Ji Hyun's wounds, and tucking him in bed. Ji Hyun looked listless throughout, Sung Ho gave Ji Hyun a kiss on the forehead and told him to sleep first as he had work to do. Ji Hyun lightly nodded and closed his eyes.

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