The two of them sat on the far edge of an overlook point near the harbor. Ashia had been quiet when Nolan spoke of his true thoughts regarding the events of the past life. Forgiveness was the right of those who suffered. Nolan Salvatore stood firm in his belief that there are sins that could not be forgiven so easily.

She said. "You confuse me."

"Yes," Nolan replied. His face looked like stone. "I love you, but that doesn't mean I can forgive you for that. No, never, even when I die. I cannot easily forgive you for that."

" Even if I did pay the price?" she asked him.

"Yes. On that day I was forced to bury my child and on the next day, I have to put that child next to you. Something broke within me that day that I couldn't allow myself to stay still. I joined the Bleak Walk in hopes to find purpose and light. I met up with the Light's army and fought in the shield wall as the heroes pushed forward. I did not regret a single thing. I honored those who died before me. I mourn them but choose to keep moving forward because I know that they'd want that. I wanted to believe that I could just look back and say that it was a part of my life. But even someone like me has a bottom line. That day...do you know how I hated you for it? How I despise the way you look at that child as if that child was nothing more than a hindrance in saving the world. I understand your reasoning. That the child would die the moment the elemental heroes would use you as a medium. That child would implode from the inside and die. You considered that as mercy. I know. I understand what you have to do. But I begged you with all of my heart and soul that day. Please, don't kill the child and let the world give you some bits of happiness!"

Nolan bared his teeth. "You deserve that child. The world owed you so much despite the lack of power. Ciara, do you know how many bodies I have to bury to keep you in power? Vero of Sorer, the Talon King, and the bastards who ran the Guardsman of Throes to the pit of disgrace. I wrung the neck of the Talon King. I split the head of Vero of Sorer simply because he didn't want to let go of the power that he had taken! A good man like him turned into a pitiable maggot! Despair is like a goddamn disease that gets you in the end. He let that despair get into him and it turned him into a fool who wanted power. Ciara, when you were too busy dealing with the dark. I made sure that you won't be bothered with the things such as Marlon's disciples or the Sword Maiden of throes wanting you to be replaced. I had to care about them and let you work freely in your single-minded pursuit of saving the world."

Nolan held his head and continued. "The world wasn't as good as you think they were. Just because there was a greater threat it didn't mean that they would unite in hopes of saving the world. Our armies weren't run by hopes and wishes. It was run by and funded by the merchants that use the materials and meat of the demons we killed as a way to feed the people. You know about this. I don't believe that you don't."

"The merchants of salt passing were part of the Pontifex state," Ashia said. "They handled the transaction regarding the breeding and butchering of demon-animals. Ogres and Bovine Races were prime candidates for breeding. One of the Merchants suggested that we breed these monsters and turned them into cattle. The Bovine Race, at least one of them are able to stand in both legs could talk like humans as well. They were sentient cows and we turned into the cattle. It took us five years to destroy their ability to speak and they became large cattle that we're able to feed communities. Each of the monsters and demons had their own innate connection. If Marlon's disciples didn't discover a way to create an artificial light that could produce the same light as the sun then we would have continued that path."

Nolan nodded. "We did continue that path. You believed that it stopped, but it never did. The Light's army consumed bovine meat and we had stamps that differentiate them from the cows that they have grown in the under-farms. The Bovine meat that came from them filled the bodies of the soldier. We continued eating them because consuming them had given us strength. It made us strong and allowed us to hold the line. It was only when the Witch of Nether and Marlon's disciple that we were carved with runes in our bodies that allowed us to become strong. You know what? I killed and had done things I am not proud of. But never in my life, I dared to go as low as killing a child. I met children who would fight for me a piece of bread. In my eyes that day you were something that I couldn't forgive."
Nolan stared at the ocean with glassy eyes. Ashia placed a shaking hand on her right lap and asked. "Then why are you with me?"

"Because I think you regret something. The Ciara that I know wouldn't have done something as stupid as sacrificing her life for the sake of one person. You'd think of the greater good because that was your dream. You rather see yourself suffer than let that go. That's why I always asked why you would save me. I twisted that thought thinking that there must be more. Tell me, Ciara. Why did you have to shield me that day?"

Ciara laughed grimly. "Why? It was simple. I didn't want to lose another. The world is heavy Nolan. I didn't want to do it knowing that I would have to carry it alone again."

Nolan gazed at her. "We are old and tired."

"I agree," she said to him. "We are blessed to able to have long lives. That's why I want to talk instead of arguing. I don't want emotion to rule me now that we are given the chance. I'd rather be honest than lie about it."
Ashia stared. She let her back rest on the bench with her eyes traveling the clouds.