Chapter 130: The Disillusioned One
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   “So let me get this straight,” she finished her drink, her cheeks reddened, and her eyes cloudy. “So you spent many years chasing after a woman, got betrayed, and managed to hook up with her, but then realized that she loves duty more than anything? Wow, you are an idiot, my friend.”

“I am.”

“Though I say,” she wipes her mouth. “Even if you did think that she loves duty more than you, shouldn’t it more natural if you are with her, and not here in this underground city? Sure, she might love duty, but isn’t being together with your lover better than not being together at all.”

“I understand that sentiment. I did exactly that. Still, you’ll break when you hear your beloved say that she wants to kill your stillborn child so she can do her duty.”

“Ouch,” she hung her mouth. “That’s...painful. You accepted that?”

“I told her to run away with me. Do you know what she did? She squared me right in the jaw, cried about it, and said that her duty mattered over our child. I understand that if she didn’t let go. She would have not fared better. Still, her saying that she’s doing it because others made a sacrifice broke some parts inside of me that I can’t stand. All the insults, betrayal, and all the pain that I suffered with her. She saw our child as an obstacle to her duty. I still loved her, and yet a part of me wants to let go. That part won and now I’m here instead of with her.”

“I will not understand, but I do feel what you are going. I don’t understand that much since my lover understood me well. We didn’t have to worry about duty and all of that since we saw each other in the eye and we talked it out. Once, I thought he’d die in some unknown part of the world, and yet he died because he died suddenly. I expected some tragic death or a surprise but he just died like that. I missed him, but that’s that. But your case, did you look her in the eye? Did you try to gauge her into truly choosing you over something?”

“I did. I truly did. Still, she’s a stubborn and determined woman, I felled for her because of that look in her eyes.”

“And here you are.”

“And here I am.”

“You love her but you are here. So let me ask you, Alva. Are you willing to let go of your precious someone? Just because you have loved too much and now that love bears you enough weight to get away?”

“I do. I just want to let go of her.”

“I see. Then another question, if you see her again, and she says that she wants to run away with you and let go of it all? Are you willing to run away with her?”

Alva didn’t answer. He stared blankly at his half-empty mug.

“That’s a hard question,” Alva said. “I don’t I can answer that unless I get that option.”

“I guess so. Still, I am surprised that you tell me all of this. Why?”

“I just want to and that I can excuse it as being drunk.”

“Even if it turns me off?”

“I don’t really care? I am just a drunk man.”

“That you are,” she said. “You really are a pain in the ass when you are talkative. Can you go back to your brooding self? I want that guy back.”

“Don’t blame me, man. Man, I wish you were that sultry co-worker but now you are this nagging friend.”

“Hey, I like myself, what can I say?”

Alva smiled and laid his left cheek on the table. He thought about the repeats that he had done. They were painful but equally precious as well. He thought that he could not answer for he was lost as well in his own mind.

“Where is my mind?”

“In the gutters?”

“I wish,” Alva said. “This pub is great, not that I bothered knowing the name of this pub.”

“It’s Pixies,” she said. “The owner is a Pixie, though she’s in her office. The bartender is Danton, and I know him from the past. You could say that we’d be patrons of this pub for a long time. Well, that is if the war doesn’t fuck us over.”

“I thought this place won’t meddle?”

“We won’t meddle. But things are complicated, and even if we do disagree with the current war. We will be involved, and there are many folks here that hate the War Maiden.”

“Is that so?” Alva said. “Are you one of them?”

“I couldn’t care less. There are factions that hate her. I mean she’s the Slayer of Demons, and she has a record of genocide everywhere. She’s worship as a demi-goddess in the human world but here? She’s the boogeyman that we demon-kin fear. It would be far weirder if she’s well-liked.”

“I see,” Alva bit his lip unknowingly.

“So you are meeting up with the Boss Lady, huh. She really prefers to call you rather than Old Ron now. Got in her good graces?”

“You can say that,” Alva held his forehead. “Want to drink some?”

“I ain’t paying anymore.”

“Share the bill then?”

“I will.”

“Alva,” she said. “I have one more question before we continue this uncaring night. What kind of monster are you anyway? I know that you are a half, but what type of monster are you really? You smell different and yet you are like mixture.”

“Well...I don’t know if I can still call myself human. Hmm, maybe I should classify myself as a ‘Monster without a name’?”

“Picking a name that sounds cool doesn’t make you cool, friend.”

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t even know if I could live long enough to call myself a monster.”

“Is that one of your reasons as well?”

“I was used as a battery for a long time. So yes, I want to live for myself instead of chasing after someone. Really, I am tired, and if I don’t want to spend the bits of my time in peace.”

“And you want to spend these bits of time getting drunk with your co-worker?”

“Hey, it is a change of pace.”

Catherine smirked and took a sip of her beer.”

“Good move on your part, mate.”