Chapter 317: Tired, Not Broken
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     The blue and pink trees were in from of him. The rock tiles of the shrine alongside with the chime of the bell on the crossbeam made Nolan feel that peace again. Leaves were strewn on the ground, the salty wind came from the north.

He sat on the flight of stairs just before one would found the dragon’s dwelling. A shadow covered the shrine as the shadow landed on the clearing where the dragon’s dwelling was. He looked back. Lady Dalia, the dragon, craned her sight to Nolan.

“I didn’t expect her to fight you.”

“It was nothing.”

“Yes, to you it might as well be a daily occurrence.”

“This is a peaceful world, Dalia,” he peered at her with a knowing gaze. “I think I don’t deserve it. Will you listen to me?”

“I will.”

“There was a guy who thought of nothing other than pleasing himself. He likes watching the buildings that stood piercing the clouds. He was rather fond of climbing said buildings, watching the sunset and the night that comes after it. He was nobody special in regards to that he was just another young man aiming for his dream. He knew how to climb because it was his hobby. He knew how to fight because it was needed for him. But it was a peaceful world like this – not as perfect that there were no wars or conflict – but peaceful enough that you’d live your life with a good chance that you’d see no wars in your lifetime. But then the world had a funny way of breaking people. No, he knew from the start that it was a cosmic joke. Gods do not roll dices or prattle about the affairs of mortals unless they are eager to make fun of you. H learned that well. He accepted it and thought of death – but even he thought of purpose. There must be more to this life!”

Nolan smiled. Dalia leaned her dragon’s head on the staircase.

“He lost so many and he asked, ‘Is this within my power and control?’ and thought of it. He made himself harden like steel and follow the whims of a simple light that dwells in the darkness. There were many brave heroes and yet she stood out because there was something in her that he liked. Foolish as it was, it was simply love at first sight.

“But maybe, he wanted to make her into his purpose. He used her to lift his spirits and yet in honesty he fell hard before he knew it. He was a survivor in a way that he survived because he was careful. He was lucky and unlucky. He lost so many but he kept moving forward. Not because he was brave or that he had hardened his heart to the point of being unable to feel pain. But simply because he thought that he wanted to die knowing that he did something. Thirty-years he followed her through hell without thought. There were days that he was injured because of a wave of flesh. The monsters were too strong for him. The enemies that did not give them mercy.

“The worst part was that he had nothing other than the thought of wanting her to succeed. He never cared about his well-being and just fought like a madman devoid of reason. That was all there is to it. Do you know how terrible the world he was in? It was so devoid of life. Everyone fought because there were so few people. Even young kids fought on the battlefield with little disregard for their life. That didn’t break him. Not even when he had to stare at the graves of his loved ones. The woman he fought for and the unborn child who could never see the light of the sun.

“He fought the light’s war as a person who walked the bleakest paths. People who have nothing to lose other than their lives. You could say that the people he was with were fools who thought they have nothing to lose. But they have each other and they didn’t know it. They were idiots who would smile at the thought of laying down their lives for the sake of their comrades. He was the weakest of them all and that’s why they choose him to go and tell the world that these brave people had done the impossible! Ha-ha, what a bunch of fools! But they are brave fools!”

Nolan swallowed.

“I love them so much. Don’t you just hate it when you promised these people that you’d be with them, and they scream at you to run away? In the end, you didn’t die as you wanted to and was given false hopes. Lifetimes of suffering simply because someone was too pained to trust you. Do you even know? I don’t even break. I cannot break because I know that they don’t want me to. I’ve failed again and again, and yet here I am still loving and hating her. I just don’t know. I am tired, never broken, but drained. Even with this power, I don’t feel so different. Some men would lose themselves and I would too if not for those who I traveled with.”

“Have you thought that you might be different now?”

“Never thought of myself as different. I’m nobody because there are people who are better than me. People that were nobodies who became heroes. And if they see me in a world this peaceful. Do you know what they would do? They wouldn’t grit their teeth in jealousy. They’d smile and tap my shoulders and say that it’s nice. They were nobodies who were heroes to me. To become anything other than nobody would be disrespectful to them. Hah, I don’t even know why I am telling this.”

“Maybe you just want to chat up? Don’t worry, I will listen to you.”

“Thank you.”

*****

Nolan talked as if recollecting memories. He didn’t care about the time as it passes by. Lady Dalia listened with a smile on her dragon’s face. When the morning rose again Nolan was pressing his back on a tree. Dalia muttered at him, “Run…Let hope live, you tasteless man…hmm, you ran too far didn’t you?"

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