After sitting down, close by the sleeping Dilan, I found myself trembling.

My thoughts were different to that of my body. My thoughts might be tough and showing that I will survive any means necessary…But, I was visibly having troubles dealing with what just happened.

I had heard the gurgle noise, I had heard the thump of the man’s body hitting the ground…

I was sure that Neil had killed him…He was gone…

Looking at my belt, that I wasn’t willing to take off for god knows how long, I felt myself a little relieved.

Next time…Perhaps I should have one in my hands…Or in my mouth…Or something…

Daggers are sharp objects and if used well, they kill!

Was I really ready for that?

Taking the dagger out from my belt, I looked at its shiny surface.

Will I take a life with this blade…Will blood coat on it, dripping down from having stabbed someone? Would I have stabbed him? With this dagger…If given the chance…

If my secret became known…

Putting my finger on the tip of the dagger, I applied a little bit of pressure and my finger started to bleed. This is what would happen…Blood would come out of someone’s body and go on the dagger. Pain will be inflicted…Not my pain, but pain from others…

Closing my eyes for a moment, I pictured all the times that I had been bullied and by whom…

Did I have the courage to kill?

Blood for blood…

Opening my eyes, I saw something enter into my sight and take my finger into their hands, “What are you doing?”

Looking up, I blinked and sighed.

 

I heard them sigh too, then they got the dagger out of my hands and whipped it down, before placing it back into my belt. “Do you understand now?”

I nodded.

He had already said that I would get worse dreams, was he talking about people that I will kill?

“I will keep you with me so that you won’t have to fight.”

Looking up at General Wilton, I stayed silent.

I went to training so that I could learn to fight, why is he stopping me?

As much as I was grateful for the idea of not having to fight, I also felt that I should continue on…To become stronger and protect myself…

“I highly doubt that a week of training will help anyone be ready for war. I asked for you personally to be my assistant, so, from now on, you will help look after me and that of my horse. You will help set up where I stay and make sure that you give me food and water when I’m hungry and thirsty.”

Looking away, I felt him do something with my finger and turned towards it, seeing that he was putting a small bandage to where I had inflicted a small wound.

“Since we are getting closer to the where the war is, you will be with me from now on. So, get your things.”

I saw him get up, from having been kneeling down in front of me, so I got up too.

I hadn’t really unpacked much, and it was just a small time that I had been on my own, as Neil tended to…And Dilan was sleeping…Very noisily beside me.

I just…Hadn’t done anything since returning…

Nodding and picking up my bag, I had no choice but to follow the man that was already walking away.

Looking back occasionally, because I wasn’t able to tell Neil that I was going to be elsewhere, I wondered if he would just show himself very soon.

Luckily, Neil did come back five seconds later, and I went against orders, racing back to Neil.

“There you are! Don’t just disappear!”

His words were kind and full of worry, but I had no choice!

I pointed towards the place that General Wilton walked in and then pointed at my bag…Did he understand?

Neil looked into the darkness, in the way that I pointed, but looked confused.

I sighed and then pointed again, as I started to walk as well.

“Wait, where are you going!?”

 

I couldn’t wait for him to understand, so I kept going and Neil ended up following after me. After five seconds, I ended up running and finally saw a small part of General Wilton in the dark ahead of me.

Running completely up to him, I found Neil right beside me moments later, “What’s going on?”

The General stopped walking and noticed that I had brought a friend, “Who…Oh.”

Neil looked up at the General and then bowed his head, “Sir, this is the Mister that I am the steward of, I was just wondering what was going on.”

“Your worry is for naught, Lorrie will work under me from now on.”

I found the two of them talking quite interesting. Neil hardly talked much with any of the ‘sirs’, but this time he was talking to the one in charge!

And the General…He sounded strange…I couldn’t quite understand what the words meant…

“Then…The safety of my master is in your hands, General!”

Neil then looked at me and said, “I will visit you when I know what my position is…Serve the General well!”

Then, Neil was gone, after one strange look at the General…

Neil did look back at me with complete worry once, but he turned, kicked at a tree and continued to walk away…

Even if I could voice my concerns for following the General, it wouldn’t do very good…It seemed…I was now forced to become an assistant.

Of course, after a small amount of time, Neil did see the good in my new position, but there was just no way he could tell me for a while.

 

I looked back at the General, finding him looking at me…I shrugged and gave a small smile…

I had nothing else…I felt like I was still shaking and that I could be in more trouble now…But what was I to do!?

“He’s very protective of you, that’s a good steward you have there.”

I nod and looked around, this was the front of the line after all, even though tents were to the side of the road, a big tent was in the grass not too far away.

I never got to see this last night because I was near the back of the line. Strangely, I started to feel a little better…Perhaps it was because the tent was bigger? Or because it was at the front of the line?

“You’re like a curious, little puppy.”

I turned back to the General and raised my eyebrows…A…Puppy?

 

“Come on, Puppy, I’ll show you where you’ll sleeping.”

Hang on…

Did he…

“You!”

Yes, he’s pointing at me…

“Puppy!”

I widened my eyes and just stared at the General blankly…It was strange…Like I was no longer stiff…

Using the hand that he pointed at me, he then put his hand onto my head and rummaged my hair around, “Yes, you, puppy, follow me to where you will sleep.”

Trying to get a hold of myself, I followed after him but was still thinking about what he had called me.

I hadn’t spent much time around…Puppies…

How was I like a puppy?

For some strange, desperate reason, I felt like using my mouth just once to ask…Why?

Was it bad?

Is the General naming me ‘Puppy’ a bad thing? Just…How could it be a good thing?

Puppy…

“Here.”

I salute him and go to put my back down.

Then I realised that we were already inside the tent…So strange…I had completely unnoticed my surroundings…

“You are serious, you punk!?”

Turning to the voice, I see the Lieutenant peeking into the cut off, one third area of the tent that I was now in.

“So what.”

“You never had an assistant before now, why, can’t I be curious!?”

I looked between the Lieutenant and the General.

“Don’t be.”

The Lieutenant huffed and left, leaving the General alone with me.

I looked up at him and he narrowed his eyes, “As you see, you’ve become privileged, so don’t do anything stupid.”

I nod frantically.

I already had enough troubles!

I will do my best not to do anything stupid!

 

I felt my head stop, as the General put a hand on my head to stop it. “Don’t be so keen to nod so much, little Puppy.”

So…I gave one simple nod and he laughed.

So…I smiled.

After a short moment, he then let his hand drop and said, “Sleep. When I wake you, be ready to get up straight away and come straight to me.”

I nod once, and he nodded back, “Good.”

Then he left me alone.

I did hear grumbles, as I looked at my sleeping area, and then I suddenly heard, “Shuddup!”

Flinching, I sat down and then laid down, I was told to sleep…So, that is what I should do!

It was much more comfortable then that of the hard dirt ground that I would have slept on tonight if the General hadn’t taken me in. These were like the beds at the barracks, like a hammock or something.

Since no more grumblings were heard, I found the courage to take off my belongings and put them quietly on the ground.

Within my small area, there was another bed to the side and not much room for anything else, besides that of a small set of drawers.

Even though I was more comfortable because of the bed…I was more lonelier. For a whole week I felt safe with Neil by my side…

Hearing a noise outside of the tent, I bring my knees up to my chest and couldn’t help but be a little scared.

That man…Now here…

If someone were to attack me now, how would I survive?

Picturing trying to defend myself and seeing Steward Long and that man in my head, I started to tremble once again.

As some time passed, my eyes stayed wide opened, and my body was put into a small ball.

It wasn’t for warmth, as the climate was slowly changing towards a hotter season, it was because I…I was sure I didn’t feel safe.

 

More time past and I found myself still the same, wide eyed and scared into a ball.

With hearing movement, pretty sure that it was the General, I quickly shut my eyes as I did not want to be in trouble.

Hearing the tent flap open, I try not to move at all.

I felt stiff all over and my heart felt heavier, as I heard footsteps inside this small area.

Noise sounded, that made me think that he was laying on the bed now and I started to relax.

As my muscles had been stiff for so long, I moved them a bit, but I did it very quietly.

Suddenly…I heard a noise!

I stopped…Everything!

Then, a feeling went over me, and I sat up in a hurry, seeing that I was getting close to something and closed my eyes again.

Bang!

“Hey!”

I put a hand to my forehead and frowned.

“Idiot!”

I looked up at the General and then back down again.

“I was just putting a blanket on you.”

Oh…

He’s right…

I saw the blanket and then looked up and put my hand down. Nodding my thanks, I smiled as well.

The General knelt down and looked at me seriously. “I heard that you were abandoned since young. Is that why you have troubles sleeping?”

Uh?

Abandoned?

Oh…Well I suppose it’s true. That’s right.

But, should I nod ‘yes’?

Frowning, I didn’t know how to respond, especially since what was going through my mind the most, was being attacked. So…At the moment, that wasn’t the reason I had troubles sleeping…

“I know you haven’t slept this whole time. Would you feel better if the flap was opened when you go to sleep from now on?”

Looking up at the flap, I found myself nodding.

I don’t want to be alone…

I’ve been alone for so long. I don’t like it, I don’t want it anymore!

The General got up then, “Fine, but only one side of the flap! Now go to sleep!”

I nod once and lay back down.

It didn’t take long after that before I fell asleep. Not only was I tired, but I felt less scared now.

Knowing that the General was only about a metre away, I knew I was safe. I don’t know why I knew I was safe when I don’t know the General very well, but I felt it and that seemed enough to put me to sleep…

 

 

“Lorrie! Get up!”

Opening my eyes up, I took the blanket off and then went to get my outer clothing. Except…

Uh?

Where was it?

My mask was gone too!

Standing up, I took a look around and after a few seconds, I realised that I wasn’t in the servant’s quarters…

Oh…

Remembering where I was, I quickly check my makeup, seeing that it was coming off, I quickly wiped it off with water close by and redid it after I dried it.

Not long after that, I heard my name getting called, so I rushed out with all my belongings and saw both the General and Lieutenant staring at me.

I slightly shook myself awake and then saluted at them.

“Hehe, General, little Puppy isn’t much of a morning person.”

“…Speak more and I’ll get you a pacifier!”

I take my hands down and look up slightly, to see the Lieutenant smirking at the General…

There’s that word again…Puppy…

“Come here, Lorrie.”

I did as I was told and walked up to the General.

He looked at me and then smiled, “Kick him for me!”

I turned and went to kick the Lieutenant, but he moved out of my range.

“General! This is uncalled for! The little puppy will only get tired trying to do your bidding! General! Don’t let the puppy bite me!”

I look at the General, only to see him move his head towards the Lieutenant, so I went after him, to try and kick him again…And again…And again.

But I could never touch him!

After five minutes, the General got up and kicked a pole of the tent, bringing one side of the big tent down, “Time to go.”

I stopped, picked up my bag and followed after him immediately, my last command completely dismissed.

“I get it! Haha!” I heard these words behind me, with that big, loud voice, “You are completely right, General!”

After we got to a horse, the General immediately got on top of it and turned to me.

He rubbed me on the head and smirked, “Very good, Puppy. Start getting everything out of the tent and pull it down. I’m going to get everyone up, so we can continue to march.”

With that said, he was gone…

So, I started to do what was told of me and emptied the tent and started to pull it down.

Having never done this before, I had gotten told off twice, and was very slow…I was told to not make the same mistake twice!

 

***

 

The march continued much as it did before, for many of the people.

For me, I was now the assistant of the General, so I felt like my days were a lot more harder then they used to be!

I did as required and made sure that I got food and water for the General, I also cleaned his uniform and…

Yesterday…

I helped him clean…Him!

I had never helped someone clean themselves before, but this was something I endlessly was worried about now.

Not only did I get carried away with his scars, but he was already telling me to bathe with him.

I would do the works of putting up my hands and shaking my head at him, backing away and was even ready to run away and hide!

There was absolutely no way that I was going to bath with a man!

Was he absolutely crazy!?

After I made such a big deal about it, he gave up and told me just to wash him instead.

So…I wash his back…And his hair…And his arms…But I refused to do anything else!

Completely!

When he saw this, he grunted at me!

After that he had told me to bugger off and I scooted away immediately!

Scary!

 

Every time the Lieutenant and General weren’t serious or discussing something important, it would get to a point where my job was to try and kick the Lieutenant.

For half an hour this morning, I continued diligently to do as commanded and kick the Lieutenant, but I never could!

That damned pot belly, bearded man, always got away!

With the General letting me do this, I was able to see that the Lieutenant was indeed someone not to be trifled with, so now that I was able to watch and learn his moves, I was starting to wonder how I could accomplish my goal!

I wanted to succeed with my order!

I really really wanted to kick the Lieutenant!

But, time was always cut short!

This morning was our last march heading towards the rest of the army and we were a lot quieter today.

After the first two days of following behind the General, he just ended up putting me on his horse with him, finding out I had never ridden one before.

Since then, I hadn’t had to walk, unless it was to the far-off trees to do my business…And since I was the assistant of the General, I’ve noticed that I didn’t need to worry much about being interrupted.

Which was a relief!

But…I never let my guard down. I tended to have a dagger in my mouth and watch with my eyes, listening with my ears!

Never did I want a repeat to what happened to me the other day. I was very glad though, that nothing was happening…Very glad!

 

What I had noticed, was strange looks at me.

I did come to know that I was indeed the first assistant that the General had ever taken in. So, most of the looks that people gave me looked to me like curiosity.

But there was two that weren’t…

One of them scorned me to the depths of the earth, while the other had tried to talk of the General, wanting to know what he was like, doing this when the General wasn’t around…He continued his ways of wanting information but there was just no way that I would ever respond to him, always reminding him that I was ‘mute’ and he was not going to be the reason that I was going to start to talk again!

I really wasn’t sure what to do with those two people…

It looked like one of them hated the General and one of them loved the General…

Sadly, in this case, I was seeing things in the opposite point of view. I had no idea that the one who was wanting to know more of the General, was the one that hated the General, instead of loving him. Then the one who was scorning me, was the one that loved the General…

But, this was how I saw things. If someone is interested in someone, don’t they ask about them?

And since that other person was scorning me for being with the General, I felt that they hated him…

My thoughts were just, but indeed quite wrong and opposite to what things were…

 

There was one thing that I knew for sure though…And that was that my name had turned into ‘Puppy’.

…For some reason, over these last couple of days, many people seem to call me that now!

I don’t know how that happened…

I hadn’t been able to see Neil at all, even though I’d seen many others, as I was able to be on the same horse as the General now.

I remembered what he had said that night, that he will find me after his position is told to him, so I wasn’t worried that something happened to him, I just preferred him to be close by, as he knew my secret. I got used to having someone protect me as he had, and it was tiring to always be so vigilant whenever I needed to do my business, making me appreciate him more…So, I admitted to missing Neil very much…And strangely, I missed Dilan too.

I saw Dilan once, he happily went along with my new name, but not long after, we were out of ear shot and I had no idea of what he had said after that because the General had galloped away…

Actually, I’ve noticed that the General tends to get moody sometimes, and it sort of alarms me.

I don’t know what to do when he’s like that, so I could only stand there awkwardly, waiting for him to give me orders…

The last mood he had, irritated me that much that I reluctantly gave him a candy, just to see if it would help him. Luckily it did, and I was happy to see him go back to normal after that.

 

Ever since the first night that I slept in the big tent, the flap was half up like he said he would do, and I was able to see and hear things a little better when I had gone to bed.

With that, I slept a little better, but didn’t fall into a deep sleep until I knew he was in the bed not too far away from me.

At first, I had not been good at giving him meals, but I got better at it…Strangely enough, the Lieutenant helped me, and I had no idea how to repay him for that…So, I just gave him a candy…

I will have to thank my father very much. He was very smart, thinking that I will need this candy to help me along this path that I’ve taken.

Perhaps, I should have silently asked him for more candy the last time that I had seen him…

Actually, I hadn’t written one letter all this time, not that many others have either. We’d only been away a few days at the moment.

But, now that I thought of candy, I was thinking that perhaps that is what I’ll write to my father.

The problem was, this morning, the General told me never to give candy to anyone else now but him…So, that thought was completely ruined!

And now I had no idea on what to write…