The little blonde tyrant Miss Planner was having a meeting with the Elders who lived at the Grand Temple. Elder Drifter, Elder Mirror, Elder Witness, and Elder Incarnate were all present and eager to hear what their devoted proxy had to say. It was rare that Miss Planner visited the temple, and it was the first time she'd ever brought an outsider with her.

Milly was far out of her element, terrified of the powerful Elders. She sat on a little wooden stool in a far corner of the dimly lit stone chamber with her head down.

"Drifter greets Miss Planner... khkhkhhh..." chuckled the apelike Elder Drifter.
"Stop that!" hissed Incarnate. "Miss Planner, welcome to the Grand Temple. We are honored that you have graced us with your presence."

"Thank you, Elder Incarnate, it's a pleasure to be here. I've brought my secretary Milly with me today. She's here to transcribe your precious words of wisdom."
Milly stood up and looked around nervously, clutching her notepad to her chest. She gave a little wave.
"Hello," Milly said very softly. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to go home.

"Cute... kkh... keeheehee!" Drifter cackled, standing to his feet. He walked over to Milly and sniffed her like a dog. Drool dribbled down his chin as he sniffed her hair, her face, and her shoulders. Milly stepped backward until she was up against the wall. She looked like she was about to cry. Miss Planner didn't lift a single finger to help her.

"You miserable wretch!" shouted Elder Witness. "Get away from her! That's Miss Planner's secretary!"
Drifter immediately backed off and held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Drifter didn't hurt her," Drifter said defensively. "Drifter... kh khhh... Drifter likes her smell."
"Sit down, Drifter!" Witness commanded. "You need to behave yourself!"

Elder Drifter silently sat down. Drifter might have been an Elder, but he showed none of the dignity the role suggested. He wasn't even remotely honorable or wise. He was a hunchbacked, slobbering old man whose only job seemed to be to eat, sleep, and make unpleasant noises. Milly wiped the saliva from her face with a handkerchief.

"Hee-hee! Shall we begin?" asked Elder Mirror, his voice like honey.
"Yes, yes. Let's," replied Elder Witness, whose voice was a gravelly bark.

The Grand Temple didn't have any electricity, so Miss Planner was giving her presentation on a whiteboard with a marker instead of her normal projector set-up. The four Elders sat in front of her in a row like children in a classroom.

"Thank you for giving me your time, everyone. To start us off, I'm going to fill you in on some of the changes that have been taking place at the Tower."

Miss Planner paused to let the silence stretch out. She used her marker to scribble a diagram onto her whiteboard. It was a simplified flowchart that illustrated the journey the Chosen One's products took from production to point of sale.

"The Chosen Ones have started working more closely with organizations like the Cut Throats, Ghouls, and Pit Kings to help stabilize their Nuke production process. Any area of the supply process that one organization is deficient in can be alleviated through trade with the others. This way, each group has a strong base to work from, and the money and effort they put in will go a little further than before. For example, our organization is rich in most types of raw materials but short on cash, so we're selling a portion of the excess until we can fill in the gaps in our own production."

Elder Witness sat forward. He was the most powerful of the Elders and his hair had turned completely gray, but he still had a youthful eagerness in his eyes that the other Elders lacked.
"I see... so without any additional work on our end, we can get more out of the product than before..."

"Exactly. There's less waste involved in every step of the process. Ideally, we'd only participate in the most profitable areas of Nuke production and sale and use trade to acquire everything else we need, but the market isn't developed enough to make that possible yet."

Elder Mirror didn't like what he was hearing one bit. A strange, skinny old man with chalky-white skin, Mirror was a misanthrope who detested all things human and lived alone in a special room filled with reflective surfaces. The old man stood up as straight as a candle and began to speak, his angelic voice echoing with righteous fury.

"Ooh... You have an evil soul, Miss Planner! Ah... ah... you plan to give the source of our power away to demons!"
"Mirror," warned Incarnate. "You're making a scene."

Elder Mirror was becoming more and more agitated by the second. He started pacing back and forth in the cold stone chamber, gibbering uncontrollably.

"Dabada! Hooo! This Planner is fake and foolish like all the other humans! Ooh! The exploiting, conniving, scheming... hee-hee! Owww! Selfish! Hoo!"
Mirror's words were an incoherent torrent of anger and condemnation. Miss Planner didn't even attempt to defend herself from his silliness.

"That's enough!" shouted Witness. "We don't have time for your childish games, Elder Mirror! We've worked closely with the Cut Throats and Pit Kings for many years now!"

"Da! Da da da! No! Owww! Ooh! She's evil! Evil, evil, evil! Bad woman, bad woman! Dabba dabba! Hee-hee!"

"That's it! That's it, Elder Mirror! I'll have you thrown into the Dark Realm if you continue to make a spectacle of yourself!" snarled Witness.

Elder Mirror froze in place. He looked terrified, as did Elder Drifter and Elder Incarnate. The only person in the room who remained calm was the perfect Miss Planner.

"Everyone, settle down. Elder Mirror, I understand your concern. But the fact of the matter is that we're not giving anything up to anyone, and we're not being taken advantage of. There really isn't that much of a difference between selling Nuke and selling the raw materials to create Nuke. It's just that the process of getting the product to the consumer is a little different."

"She's right, Mirror. It's just a simple exchange of goods," said Elder Incarnate. "Nothing to get upset about. Now, please, if you won't listen respectfully to what Miss Planner has to say, you are free to excuse yourself."

Elder Mirror sat down with a thump. He slowly nodded his head in agreement, still muttering gibberish to himself.
"Eebeedee... shattamanna..."

"We have bigger concerns today than this dunce's ability to keep his emotions in check," growled Elder Witness. "Can we move on to the next topic?"

Miss Planner smiled politely at the Elders and added a few lines to the bottom of her diagram.
"There's another way we can get more value out of our product, and we don't have to work with anyone else to do it. All we have to do is change how we interact with our customers."

The four Elders exchanged glances. They didn't understand what she meant.

"We're not the only organization that sells Nuke, right? If we want more people to buy Nuke from us, or if we want our current customers to buy more Nuke than they do already, we need to make sure our customers are getting something extra in return for their money."

"Hmm hmm hmm. Drifter sees... Drifter knows. Drifter will give a gift to the humans... khhhkhhh!" drooled Drifter.
"I don't think Drifter understands. What exactly are we going to be doing?" asked Elder Witness.

Miss Planner lovingly wiped Elder Drifter's face with the sleeve of her blazer. The skinny old man sat still and let her do it with a broad smile on his face.

"My idea is pretty simple. Nuke is a powerful spiritual medicine, but most of our customers don't know how to get the full benefit out of it. What if, every time we make a sale, we offer our customer a free consultation with one of our Sages? We'd be offering something unique, something valuable... something our competitors can't."
"Khhkhhhhh... Drifter knows the Sages..."

Elder Mirror couldn't stay quiet any longer. The mention of the Sages set him off.

"Shatta... manta! This Planner... ah-ah... ah... hoo... Miss Planner, have mercy. You can't take our Sages away from the Grand Temple!"
"Mirror is right. I can't agree with this," said Elder Witness. "We have to protect the sacredness of our teachings. It is forbidden to share them with outsiders!"

Miss Planner wasn't afraid to argue her point.

"The Sages won't be teaching anyone anything too advanced. I'm sure that the majority of the time, it'll just be a friendly chat. Most of our customers don't even know how to meditate. A little bit of knowledge could make a big difference in their lives. And the Sages love helping people!"

"Hee-hee... ooh! We can't allow this. The Sages must remain hidden!" protested Mirror. He was starting to work himself up into a frenzy again. "Acha hoo! Do you want to snatch our Sages from under our noses? Ooh, the Sages are our treasure! Rabbada... babbaba!"

Drifter got caught up in the excitement. He started squirming around in his seat like a fish out of water and made a sickening guttural noise. Poor Milly was scared out of her mind. She'd curled up into a ball with her hands clasped over her ears. Incarnate had fallen asleep.

Miss Planner clapped her hands together to get everyone's attention.

"Now, now, let's calm down and discuss this like adults, shall we?"
"Ehhh... hoo-hoo..." Mirror mumbled half-heartedly.
"Grgghhh..." groaned Drifter.

"The Sages are very important to us," said Witness. "It is our duty to protect them from harm."
"Oh, I know! You've made that very clear. But I'm not talking about hurting anyone. What if our customers had to come to the Tower of the Chosen to get their consultation? The Sages would be perfectly safe there, right?"

Elder Witness thought for a moment.
"I suppose that wouldn't pose too much of an issue."
"Drifter knows the wisdom of the Sages... khhkhhh."

"There's another benefit, too!" Miss Planner declared, a smug smile on her face. "The more people we expose to the Chosen philosophy, the easier it's going to be to find new recruits. I think it would be wonderful if we could spread the word of the Sages far and wide! The more people we have to testify to their wisdom, the stronger we'll become!"

Elder Mirror still wasn't convinced, but Witness was starting to look interested. Miss Planner seized her opening.

"Just imagine it: every time we sell a Nuke cigarette, we show someone how great the Chosen Ones are. Before long, we'll have the entire Pit begging to learn the wisdom of the Chosen! The Sages will teach the entire world the secret to true happiness!"

"Drifter will give the Pit the gift of the Chosen!" Drifter shouted. "Drifter LOVES Miss Planner's idea!"
"Hmph. You've persuaded me. We can't let this opportunity pass us by," said Witness, looking at the other three Elders.
Elder Mirror was the last one to agree. He gave the rest of his colleagues a withering glare and finally nodded reluctantly.
Elder Incarnate was still asleep. He even started snoring.