Chapter 20: Understanding
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Morning came with the light silver bell that announced the prince’s meal. Re stretched in the warm covers then sat up and stretched again before he stood. Ka was doing the same, gently flexing and bending his knee as he sat up. Re watched him a moment before asking, “How is it?”

Ka nodded and looked up to answer. “No pain, I think it’s healed.”

“Good,” the prince said and then snapped at him. “Get out of my bed!”

Ka was still for a moment, stunned at the harsh command. He swallowed and nodded nervously before obediently climbing to his feet. Re was turned away, ignoring him as the prince changed into a loose robe. Ka took a moment to test his knee before undoing the wrap and testing it again. The injury was truly healed and Ka let out a small sigh of relief. The anxious energy quickly returned however as he turned his attention to the prince again. He looked like a strange spirit: a white shroud topped with fiery red that moved through the room.

He didn’t come close enough for Ka to actually focus on him The prince only paused on his way to the door to look over and demand, “Come on. We’re going to the baths.”

Ka pursed his lips, hesitating for a long moment and looking over at the untouched food. He finally took a deep breath and then followed the prince. Re barely looked at him long enough to take hold of the scribe’s chains. Ka frowned more as they went along in silence. Had he done something wrong? He hesitated to ask and he couldn’t think of a single infraction of late. He had been behaving! Yet everything about the prince’s posture was annoyed from his fist curled tight around the golden chain to his swift pace down the hall. Ka could not see his expression, but he watched the servants along their path shy away from the royal.

Elia was walking with them, her own focus mostly of Re. She was going along at a half jog to keep up with the redhead’s long strides. She was doing her duty though, diligently looking ahead and behind for threats that weren’t there. As they reached the baths, the small woman stood in the doorway, admitting Re with a reverent bow. She gave Ka a little grin as well, then posted there where she could see both the bath and the hall.

Re went to the little vanity before he released Ka. A servant quickly stepped forward to remove the scribe’s chains and jewelry so he could clean properly. Re turned to another, ordering them to get his flute. The girl ran off at once, but Ka was staying quiet, watching the prince. After a few moments the redhead looked at his reflection. “What?” he growled as he turned to look at the other.

Ka blinked and then pursed his lips. He bowed his head and muttered, “Nothing, Master.”

Re growled again. “Wash,” he insisted as he returned to the task himself. By the time Re stepped away from the carved basin, the air was being filled with sweet music. He dropped his robe as he stepped to the water and quickly sank into the warm, sweet-scented bath. He looked back at Ka again to say, “Be quick,” before he lay out on his back in the water.

Ka sighed as he finished washing his face and then moved for the bath himself. He stepped in but stayed near the stairs, distant from the redhead. He sank into the warmth while watching the prince’s form curiously. His pose was relaxed, but a frown still pulled at his features; his bright red hair trailed away from him in the water. For a long moment, Ka was transfixed on that streak of red, drifting away from the still body like fresh blood . . .

Ka stumbled back, suddenly ill. The sound alerted Re and the prince quickly stood to find his pet tripping up the stairs again, one hand covering his face. Panic flashed in the prince’s mind and his cold demeanor instantly disappeared. “Ka?” he asked with real worry as he rushed to the scribe’s side. The man shook his head without slowing his retreat. The prince frowned and grabbed the other’s wrists, pulling him back. “Ka! Stop it, what is wrong?”

The scribe groaned and shook his head again. He wasn’t looking at Re and when he finally muttered under his breath, all the prince could make out was, “like blood.”

Re released his hold and allowed the brunet to cover his face again. The prince reached to his own hair thoughtfully before focusing again on Ka. He reached out slowly to take hold of the other’s chin. He stroked his thumb along Ka’s jaw a couple of times and he could see it as the scribe began to relax again. Re tilted his chin up until their eyes met and said calmly, “Calm down. Focus on me.” The scribe’s eyes shifted to the side and Re pulled his attention back sternly. “Focus. Look me in the eye.”

Ka’s breath was fast and short, still caught in panic. He met the prince’s gaze for a moment more before he began to calm and his breaths slowly became deep and even again. He still felt ill, but he relaxed and sank into the water tiredly, one hand resting against his head to fight his sudden headache.

“Ka?” The prince crouched beside him, chest deep in the bath. The brunet met his eyes again and Re only frowned back. “Are you all right? What happened?”

Ka groaned again and rubbed his head some more. “I’m sorry. I-I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Re asked again with a gentle voice.

For a while Ka was silent. His gaze fell, just staring at the iridescent water. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I don’t remember . . .” He shivered a little and pulled away to wrap his arms around himself. “Seeing you there . . . it stirred a memory I’d rather stay forgotten.” A memory of death and blood, suddenly and disturbingly clear among the blurred memories of that night.

Re watched with concern for another moment. “Are you all right?” he asked, voice still soft.

Ka swallowed once and nodded. “I am. I’ll be fine.” He hesitated for one more moment before looking up to meet the prince’s eyes again. “Thank you, that helped.”

The redhead was still frowning slightly. He nodded and drifted back in the water. “Calm and focus will get you through the most difficult challenges. If I can help bring those things to you, then I am serving a valuable purpose.”

Ka was feeling recovered enough to flush at the prince’s words. He slowly stretched out into the water and allowed the memories and tension to float away again. His nervousness faded some as well and he moved to be near the prince, keeping him in focus. “Master Re?” he asked quietly and the redhead looked to him. “Thank you,” Ka said again to start. “Can I ask what I’ve done to upset you?”

Re sighed slightly and then shook his head. Then he startled the other by beginning with an apology of his own. “I am sorry for being so short with you. You frustrate me of late, but there is nothing you can do about it.”

“So I have done something?” Ka asked.

Re glared at him now. “And you are rising my ire again. Accept the empathy and drop it.” The prince held his hand out to a servant for soap. He began to wash before turning to find Ka still close and watching him. “What?” he snapped angrily.

“I cannot imagine what I’ve done,” Ka began at once. “Tell me and I will-”

“I already said you cannot change it!” Re yelled.

“You think I cannot change it,” Ka still argued. The prince kept glaring and finally the scribe nodded with defeat. He looked away again and ran his hands along his skin to clean.

“Let me wash you,” Re said and stepped close. Ka nodded his assent and the redhead used soap to clean the other’s back and arms. Ka did not argue, even when the prince stepped closer to wash his chest as well. When Re stepped around to his front, he summoned a servant for more soap so Ka could finishing cleaning on his own. The prince watched him and felt his annoyance settle again. “Would you really like to know the reason?” he eventually asked.

Ka looked up rather startled, but he nodded at once. “Perhaps there is something I-”

“It is because of Mei,” The prince said bluntly, just to stop the foolish speculating.

Ka froze with his mouth still open. He blinked a few times and slowly his gaze fell back to the water. “What have I . . . have I been talking in my sleep?”

“No,” the prince said with a bit more compassion. “You understand though how you cannot do anything about it.”

Ka didn’t apologize. He felt badly that his past caused anyone distress, but he couldn’t apologize for how he felt. And Re was right, he couldn’t change it either. He could only hope things would be easier if he wasn’t sharing the royal’s bed.

Re watched him with an angry little frown. This was what bothered him the most, something he couldn’t change about his pet. If the scribe could not forget his past, Re wasn’t sure he could find a life here in the present. If a woman was the only thing that could bring him happiness, his life with Re would always be a trial. “Tell me something, Ka.” The brunet lifted his gaze again slowly. Re was watching him, still annoyed but hoping for some sort of solution. “I will not talk about her, but I do have a question.”

Nervous, Ka licked his lips but nodded. “What is it?”

“I would like to know what similarities I could possibly share with any peasant woman.” The scribe stood frozen for a moment. Re scoffed at him. “Or is it simply the fact of a warm body?”

“You might be surprised to know how similar the two of you were,” Ka muttered. He was looking around though, not at the prince but at the dozen or more servants that surrounded them.

“Then tell me,” Re demanded.

Ka’s gaze snapped back to the other man. He shook his head in blatant refusal. “Not here.”

Re’s eyes narrowed in annoyance, but he sighed slightly. “I am done here, if you are.” The royal moved for the stairs to climb out, letting the servants rush about to dry him. He was provided a clean robe with more elaborate designs sewn into the fabric. Ka was given another simple wrap skirt of nearly sheer material, bracelets pushed onto his arms again before the cuffs were locked in place. The scribe stood still as the servants busied about. The last time Re watched him fidget and argue. Now as the royal watched, Ka was deeply lost in thought and hardly even reacted to the others.

Re did not take hold of the man’s chains. Instead Ka was rather surprised when the prince stood at his side and placed a hand onto his shoulder. They started along the halls and Elia walked beside them, concerned gaze on the men. Slowly Ka took a deep breath, knowing they were waiting on him to say something. “Mei . . .” No one interrupted him, giving Ka the chance to continue at his own pace. “Mei was a good woman. She was sweet and kind and lovely. She was taller than me,” he informed with a glance at the prince. “Most people are taller than me,” he added in a mutter.

“Everyone is taller than me,” Elia put in.

Re glared, but Ka chuckled slightly. He took another deep breath before continuing. “I know you have tried to keep me safe . . . mostly. Mei did that as well and she tended my wounds.”

“Wounds from what?” Re asked. He was still frowning, trying to piece together these fragments of knowledge.

Ka’s jaw clenched. “I have always been quick to anger. I will always fight to protect her.”

“Protect her from people like those thugs,” the prince said with sympathy. Ka shook his head though and Re’s eyebrows pulled down in confusion. “Protect her from what then?”

“From anyone finding out.” He fell silent again, eyes on the servants that they passed.

Re shared a glance with his guard and Elia returned the frown. Neither said anything until they reached the prince’s chambers. Elia held the door open for them, then pulled it shut behind the two, letting them actually be alone. Ka was still quiet as they moved to the table where the prince’s breakfast sat. Re sat in his chair and slowly Ka sat in the other. Re ignored the food, still watching only Ka. “What is so terrible you cannot let anyone hear?”

Ka still took a long while to answer. “I have never told this to another living soul, but, it is the thing you have most in common with her.”

Re just shook his head again. “What is so terrible?”

“Not terrible. Mei grew to be so beautiful,” Ka said quietly. “She was . . . perfect. But,” he paused again, eyes unfocused on the table in front of him. “Mei was only a woman from the waist up.”

“What?” Re straightened, shocked by the revelation.

Without warning the scribe was glaring at him, anger quickly thrown up as a defense. “It is not unheard of! Sometimes there are those born who do not fit within standard expectations. The gods are testing them, making them stronger in life for a more glorious afterlife.” The anger was fading away, his voice getting quiet as the energy left. “I am certain she passed those tests. Mei was a beautiful woman, but we grew up together as brothers.”

Re had no words, absorbing that information in stunned silence. He did indeed have more in common than he’d thought. It was little wonder a masculine body held close at night would make the scribe dream of this lost love. Not just any woman but something stronger and more complex. “I think I understand,” he said gently, drawing the brunet out of his memories. “Her afterlife must be as rich as any king’s.”

Ka gave him a very small smile. “When you are kind, you can remind of her quite a bit.”

Re smiled back at him. “Then I shall do my best to be kind,” he said. He reached for his breakfast and shifted the tray closer so the two of them could share the meal.

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