Chapter 93—Song Yu, please love yourself more

by Bocchan13

New Era Calender—April 25^th 22 years after the Fall

They thought that Song Yu would come back that night. But a day went by, then another…and then another until it had been 5 days since they had seen him. Lan Zhou was about to explode, thinking about leaving the bunker and find him. He had scouted the past few days but, and figured out their scouting schedules, realizing the Paradise Base has stopped looking for them.

There wasn’t that much vigilance around them, which puzzled Lan Zhou. He had tried to overhear some information from the scouts a couple of times, but he received no notification of Song Yu.

On the fifth day, while Lan Zhou and Xiao Zi were about to set out to look for him, did the bunker doors open. It was extremely quiet. Lan Zhou and Xiao Zi hid under the bed, holding their breaths, containing their spiritual abilities. The steps were solid and fast, unlike the ones Xiao Zi heard before.

The bed on top dipped as Song Yu’s lifeless body was thrown onto the mattress. The person carrying Song Yu muttered angrily as he wiped the sweat off his brow.

“Skinny ass, how can you still be so heavy? Geez.”

The man sloppily threw a coverlet on the bed and ascended back up to the surface. There was speechless silence as Lan Zhou gritted his teeth in anger. His hands fisted creating crescent moons on his palms.

When they knew the person was gone, Lan Zhou immediately got up from under the bed and hastily helped Song Yu.

Song Yu was deadweight. Lan Zhou whispered his name a few times and couldn’t help but shed a small tear on the corner of his eyes at this. Song Yu....

His hands shook as he carefully placed Song Yu in a better position on the bed. Song Yu had been thrown onto the bed like a rag doll, his face buried in the hard pillow, deterring his breath. Lan Zhou tilted his head and shoulders, gently rolling him onto his back.

Song Yu was still unresponsive.

“Xiao Zi, check his pulse. Is he okay?”

Xiao Zi did as told, checking the wrist, his eyes, and his chest. There was only one conclusion.

“His spiritual powers have been almost completely depleted. His body is going into hibernation to keep him safe. He…has probably been overworking to the point of collapse…again.”

Lan Zhou closed his eyes in desperation. Song Yu was special. A special person in the eyes of others. But to him, it was a different kind of special…the kind where he wanted to shelter him in his embrace and take on the world for him.

It was entirely irrational and overall unheard of. To him, who had spent almost 50 years not falling in love, to suddenly find the one in a state such as this? It would have been funny, if not so sad. Lan Zhou caressed the man’s hair, swiping it to see Song Yu’s sordid pallor; the deep sunken eyes filled with exhaustion and the small pitter patter breaths he took.

It was all just too much.

“Do we have any easy food? Song Yu needs some nutrition. I wouldn’t but it past them to starve him.”

There was obvious hatred in his voice. ‘Them’ was probably those higher ups of Paradise Base. Xiao Zi nodded gently and took out some canned fruits from his backpack. Lan Zhou thanked him and went to find a spoon, whilst Xiao Zi held his hand, imputing a small fraction of healing ability.

But like a black hole, the injury was endless. Song Yu absorbed his ability like a sponge, but it only just kept source of the pain at bay, while his body shut down. Xiao Zi had never in his life seen such a thing. But he continued even though it was useless.

Song Yu…have a good sleep. Sleep until you are okay…

…

Song Yu didn’t want to wake up. Every time he woke up, there was always something to do. Something to fix, something to endure. The past few days he had personally gone to every home in the base to purify their pipes. After several decades of wear and tear, the foundation of the homes had started to decline. It was good that he was being helpful, especially when an adorable child thanked him.

But he was just so…so tired.

Tired of everything.

He just wanted to lay down and be lazy, read a few books…just rest.

But a leader couldn’t do that. A leader was supposed to be the shining beacon, a symbol of perseverance and a guide to the people. Song Yu took this responsibility wholeheartedly, cause if he didn’t have this…then what did he have?

No purpose.

Did he want to be in that catatonic state again? Where nothing mattered, and the flames on a cold windy day looked tempting to burn the flesh?

No.

But…but…but…

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

There should be more to life than just enduring.

Song Yu felt a gently caress on his forehead, waking him up from his slumber. The grogginess settled in his bones, but his mind activated him awake, setting his eyes to open unconsciously. To his right, was the sexy man of his dreams, carefully moving his hair away, a small bowl of water balance on his knees. A warm towel was in his other hand. It seemed that he had slept for quite a while, for someone to personally wash him.

This sight alone pushed him over the edge. A tear trickled down his face.

He had never been taken care of like this before…so preciously.

Lan Zhou looked at Song Yu, a smile grazing his face. When the unexpected tears fell, Lan Zhou panicked.

“Are you okay?? Are you in pain?”

Song Yu eyesight blurred as more and more tears cascaded down his cheeks. A low sob escaped his lips.

This person was so nice. So…adoringly nice.

“I-I’m just so tired.”

Lan Zhou took his hands, enveloping them tightly. Song Yu babbled a little more,

“I just want to sleep and dream.”

“Okay.”

“…eat like a cow.”

“Okay.”

“Kiss you.”

“Okay.”

Before Song Yu could say any more, the hands holding his let go, reached out to his neck. In a second, hot lips pressed onto his own. Song Yu opened his mouth to gasp, when an arm wrapped around his back to embrace him.

Lan Zhou did not hesitate, easily parting his lips to deepen to kiss. Song Yu felt dizzy as an emotional wave of pleasure washed over him. For who knows how long they kissed, before Lan Zhou let go, mildly nuzzling his cheek.

Song Yu sitting on the small bed in his bunker, a small smile on his face. A callused hand reached out and touched his cheek preciously, massaging those deep sunken blue from under his eyes. Song Yu sighed and snuggled his cheek on that weathered hand, as if it was his lifeline.

“Breathe deeply. You’re okay …”

Song Yu did as he was told, breathing heavily. Lan Zhou smiled as he saw this.

So fucking adorable.

“Song Yu…you can do whatever you want to do. You can sleep the day away, be lazy, eat a lot, curse or not help. It doesn’t matter.”

Lan Zhou kissed each callused fingertip, holding them adoringly like it was fine jade.

“Song Yu, please just love yourself a little bit more. You are the most important thing in the world.”

Bocchan13

NGL, I cried writing this chapter. Song Yu is just...why do I got to make him suffer so much? But yeah, I gotta...for plot. In a way, there are many people like Song Yu, who has had a hard life, and 0n the brink of collapse. He needs a safe shore, someone to rely on, someone for validation. Not co-dependence, but frankly a partner who can accept his faults, a love him wholeheartedly. Either platonic or romantic, Song Yu never got any of that. So Lan Zhou, please take care of my baby.

Lan Zhou: Of course.