Chapter 144. An Assassin’s and Friend’s First Interview for a Job (4/8)

I played the part of an obedient employee and did as she commanded. Don’t mess with your boss, that was something I took to heart. They’re the one person that can make your life a living hell. Even after you quit, their shadow can follow you everywhere you go if they’re petty.

“Did you need me for anything, Owner?”

She frowned and said, “At least call me Violet when we’re alone like you used to~”

“Owner, can you please not tease me? Nobody calls you that here at work.” It was true that I used to call her Violet before I started working for her.

“Haaaaah. And it makes me lonely too, you know~” She slouched forward over her desk, propped her right cheek up with her right hand, and closed her eyes as she made that complaint.

“You’re not fooling anyone with your act.”

“I’m not acting though~”

“You made a grown-ass man run out of this room in tears only a little over fifteen minutes ago.”

“That was because he was such a bore~ he gave the most boring standard answers that nearly put me to sleep~ at least make an impression on me so I’ll remember you, dummy~” Never let her playful tone deceive you, this woman was a fiend who didn’t bat an eye when stealing candy from a baby.

Okay, I wasn’t a baby at the time, I was thirteen when that happened. She stole the free lollipop I was sucking on for herself and laughed at me. Ever since that day, my view of her was set in stone. She was an evil woman, eviler than me.

This good friend of my mother’s friend, her personality was awful. Whenever I fixed her stuff in the past before I worked for her here at the convenience store, she’d scam me and not pay me the amount we agreed upon. She’d pester me for a discount for hours until I eventually caved.

What a horrible woman, not even willing to pay a child in full for the work he did for her. There have even been a few occasions at work where she made some ‘clerical errors’ when she slipped my paycheck into my locker. On those occasions, I was left with no choice but to call her and demand the rest of it. She just laughed it off every time like it was a joke. 

It’s infuriating having to deal with this troublesome woman, I can’t stand her. She is without any doubt the bane of my existence.

“Can we get to the point, what did you call me here for when you’re in the middle of interviews?”

“Well, I was a bit curious about the last person I just interviewed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know~ he was like totally boring at first when he gave me some pretty standard answers. But when I asked him why he wanted to work here, do you know what he said?”

“What?”

“I want to work here because I fell in love with you at first sight. My heart fluttered a bit~ it was quite a surprise.”

What? That idiot took the advice in the literal sense? Wait, did he actually succeed though?

“How exactly did you respond?”

“Of course, I naturally flat out rejected him and he just laughed it off awkwardly. We continued the interview and he started giving me more natural not-by-the-book responses. He sometimes had to think about his answers a bit, but he was still pretty good at keeping the conversation flowing. I wonder where he got the idea to randomly confess his love all of a sudden. Do you know anything about that, Mr. Gloomy Face?”

“It has nothing to do with me. But… what do you plan to do with him?”

“Hmm… I’m not sure. He might make the cut. I haven’t made up my mind yet. As for the next two I’m to interview though… well, I want you to stick around for their interviews.”

“Huh? Why? What use would I be here?”

“None at all, I just thought it might be fun~ one is your girlfriend, right? You also seem to be on good terms with the other one Yuna gave her recommendation for.”

“Just because you thought it might be fun? That’s the only reason?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course it is. Is there any other reason someone would do something?”

“...” I was speechless. What do you even say to a boss that’s like this?

“Just be a good little boy and take a seat.”

Since it was my boss telling me to do so I didn’t have much of a choice.

I took a seat off to the side behind her desk.

“Can the next interviewee please enter?”

Rosa opened the door and her gaze landed on me at the back.

“You must be Rosa if I’m not mistaken. I am Violet Morninglory, but everyone around here just calls me the Owner.” Rosa turned her attention away from me and back to the Owner. She nodded and introduced herself, “Yes, I am Rosa Scarletyse. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Morninglory.”

“Please take a seat and we’ll begin right away.”

The two shook hands over the table before Rosa sat down.

The Owner opened her mouth and said, “So~ how far have you gotten with Ran?”

“Pffft. Owner! What sort of question is that for an interview? Can you please take this more seriously?”

“I gave him a handjob and he returned the favor,” Rosa answered immediately, an overly satisfied look on her face, without the slightest hesitation as though she took pride in her work.

“Hahahaha! You didn’t really need to answer so seriously~”

“I didn’t? Sorry, I thought that was a normal question in an interview.”

“Hahahaha! Ran, I like this girl already~ Your girlfriend is a riot.”

“I refuse to accept this. Please conduct this interview more seriously, Owner.”

“So what if you don’t accept it? Whether she gets hired or not isn’t up to your feelings silly~ it’s up to my feelings~”

I cursed in my heart over her stupid whimsical nature.

“Well, Rosa, let’s get on with this. Has your availability changed since we last talked or are you still good for the 4:00 PM - 9:00 PM time slots we discussed before on the phone?”

“It hasn’t changed since then and remains the same.”

“Alright, good. So, Rosa, tell me about yourself.”

“I’m Ran’s girlfriend.”

“Hehehehehe, I know, I know. But what else is there about you?”

“Ran is my boyfriend.”

“Pfft. And?” The Owner looked like she was having too much fun talking to Rosa.”

“Before high school, I used to travel around the world a lot with my parents who are constantly on the move for business. When high school came around I proved to them I had what it takes to be independent. I was allowed to live alone and did so up until the end of the first semester.”

“But I made a good friend in school who offered me housing for free which would allow me to save the money my parents wire me every month. I never thought about going to university after graduating high school before, but I discovered I want to become a teacher when I’m older. I plan to save the money I receive from my parents and also work to cover the cost of going to university.”

“Oh! That’s quite impressive. You know what you want to do already and even have a plan to get there. How nice~ So you’re someone who can do things even when you’re unsupervised or alone. You can take care of yourself, but you’re able to accept help if it’s beneficial. You sound like you’d be good at taking care of others. That’s good to know. Did you plan to keep working while attending university as well?”

“Yes, I plan to work here until I graduate.”

“Great~ great~”

“You mentioned you’re in high school and you were recently living alone, do you have your parents’ consent to work as well?”

“Yes, I do. I have their written consent. They already sent over the signed form.” Rosa took it out and slid it across the table. The Owner received it and verified its authenticity before she gave a small nod and continued with the interview.

“So, Rosa, why should I hire you?”

“Because I’m good at killing.”

Hah! What the hell do you think you’re saying? Sure, you’re an assassin and all, but that skill doesn’t transfer over here!

“Killing? What do you mean?”

Rosa raised her right hand and made a gesture. She rubbed her thumb over top of her index and middle finger then clarified, “A killing in terms of money. I’ll milk customers dry of all their money if I have to.” 

Say that in the first place!

“Pffthahaha! You will? That’ll be great if you can do that. Please do.”

“I’m also good at cooking for my boyfriend.”

“Oh? That’s wonderful~” The Owner was all smiles. It was obvious she liked Rosa a lot., 

“I feel like I know what your answer will be, but what can you bring to the comp-”

“Money.” Rosa interrupted before she could finish the last word in her question.

The Owner bent over her desk while holding her stomach trying not to laugh.

“Good. Good. Even when I knew what the answer would be beforehand, you still got me with your delivery. You really know how to speak my language though.”

“Let’s see, the strengths you mentioned a minute ago sounded pretty great and all, but do you have any weaknesses? Can you list three for me?

“Hmmm… weaknesses? Well, it turns out I do have quite a few actually. More than I was even aware of. In terms of the three biggest ones though, I’d probably say… my boyfriend's sleeping face, my boyfriend cuddling with me, and my boyfriend when he whispers in my ear. I feel pretty weak in the knees when confronted with those things.”

Hey, hey, hey! Give something related to the job, not me!

“Hehehehe. Those are certainly quite the weaknesses.”

“So, Rosa, why do you want to work at this comp-?”

Rosa didn’t answer or interrupt her, she merely raised her hand and pointed at me like she found the question absurd.

“Ran, I’m going to die. Your girlfriend is too much for my inadequate interviewing capabilities.” Her shoulders trembled as she spat that out.

“Are you planning to have childr-”

“At least two with Ran. One boy and one girl would be nice.”

“Okay. Okay. I concede. I can’t win. How about this instead? Sell me this pen.” The Owner handed her pen over to Rosa.

“If you buy this pen, you’ll get a kiss on the cheek from me, 50% off the normal price.” Rosa winked when she said that.

“Oh~ what’s the base price?”

“One trillion dollars.” She listed that blatant scam price without the slightest hint of shame like it was considered a pretty cheap and reasonable price to pay.

“Rosa… give me one second.” The Owner stood up, laid down on the ground behind her desk, and clutched her stomach with her body trembling.

Without getting up she asked from under the table,

“What do you plan to do in the future?” Why ask that? She already told you she wanted to become a teacher, right? Was she so delirious from holding back her laughter that she’d forgotten?

“Ran.”

“Hahahahahaha! Why did I know your answer wouldn’t be teacher and still laugh? Am I an idiot? Fine. Fine. I give up. Whatever, you’re hired. Please go away, I’m not going to make it out of this alive if I keep asking you more questions.” Rosa was abruptly shooed away when the Owner found herself in a position where she couldn’t breathe.