Chapter 199. Sleepover... (1/4)

When Rosa and I arrived home together we bumped into Wisteria waiting outside nearby.

“Oh, Master, you came!”

“Yes, I did promise I’d teach you what I could before I return to the academy on Sunday.”

“Haha, great. I’m sure tonight will be fun. It’ll be just us girls. I’ve never had a sleepover with a bunch of girls before.”

“Oh, me neither. This is a first for me too.”

A… sleepover… now that she mentions it… it really could be considered that. I suddenly became overly conscious of the idea. I mean, what actually went on at a sleepover between girls? Or guys for that matter? No, even a sleepover regardless of the genders involved. What was a sleepover’s functionality?

An orgy?

Was that the true purpose of a sleepover?

No no no, that couldn’t be the case.

Wisteria suddenly pointed out, “Hey, what about Ran? Has he ever been to a sleepover before? I mean, from what I’ve seen of his personality, I can’t imagine he’s been to one before. Don’t you think it would be a bit pitiful if he was the only one who’s left out?”

“I’ve been to one.” A natural lie. I didn’t want to get involved with a girl’s sleepover, not even a bit. Who knows what sort of awful thing this thing they call a sleepover is.

“You have?” Rosa asked in shock as the three of us entered the building.

“Yeah, I have.”

“Really? What did you do?” Wisteria was the one who asked me.

“What did we do? Well… that is… a bit difficult to say.”

“Aren’t you just lying because you’re embarrassed you’ve never been to one?” Rosa asked interrogatively.

“I’m not lying.”

“Then what’s so difficult to say?”

How the hell would I know what’s difficult to say? I should just make something up then.

“Well… we played video games…”

“Huh? That’s it? What’s difficult to say about that?”

“Uh… well, whenever someone fell asleep first they were pranked by the other guys.” I assume that’s something normal for a sleepover among guys, right?

“What sort of pranks in specific?” Rosa didn’t let up at all, she obviously didn’t believe my vague words and wanted concrete examples.

I had to use my author brain. Think. Think, me. What is something guys might do? It would definitely be stupid stuff. Oh, probably something like this.

“They’d dip that person’s hand in warm water to try and get them to piss their pants in their sleep.”

“What the heck? Guys do that sort of thing?” Rosa proved further.

“Yeah.” I said that with boundless confidence and continued, “They’d also whip out their dicks and slap the person sleeping in the face with it.”

“Huh? You did such things at sleepovers?” She seemed to have a few doubts, but with how oddly specific the example was, she couldn’t refute it despite how hard it was to believe.

“I never did it myself, they did it to each other. I was a scared bystander.”

“But you don’t have any friends. How would you have ever been to a sleepover before?”

“Huh? Uh… it’s complicated.” I gave such a vague response, implying my desire to not talk about it.

“If you say so.”

While we were busy chatting at the entrance, the door opened up behind us. It was Irene and Alicia. Since Irene had so much free time these days with only her barista job, she’d pick up Alicia after her shift at work. I got a ride too whenever Alicia was paired with me. We’d then pick up Rosa as well from the branch store. When it was just me and Rosa though, we told Irene it was okay. She got the hint that Rosa wanted to spend some alone time together with me on the way home and didn’t make a big deal about it.

“We’re back~ Oh? Who’s this, Rosa? A friend?” Irene asked as soon as she spotted Wisteria.

“Yes, she’s… Uh…” Rosa only now realized she didn’t know what name to give, it would be strange to introduce her as Master or Man Killer. She definitely wasn’t aware of the name I’d personally given her today either.

“Wisteria, my name is Wisteria,” she answered on Rosa’s behalf with a relaxed smile on her face, more than happy to introduce herself with the name I’d given to her today.

“That’s a lovely name, whoever gave it to you must have put a lot of thought into it.”

“Thank you, I’m quite fond of my name as well.”

“I’m Irene, this here is my daughter, Alicia.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Irene. You as well, Alicia.” Wisteria was quite well-mannered, I was honestly surprised.

“Irene, is it okay if Wisteria spends the night? I wanted to introduce her to Alicia before she leaves the city on Sunday, she’s a friend I made yesterday.” Rosa asked politely since it was Irene’s home and not her own.

“A friend! Sure, sure, that’s a great idea! She’s free to spend the night today and tomorrow if she wants. I more than welcome it. A sleepover with girls, that sounds so fun~ Alicia never has a sleepover here~ it makes me so lonely as her mother~” Irene being the mother she was, always acted in such an overly cheerful manner when it came to anything related to her daughter. 

Alicia, unlike her mother, sported a wary look toward the unexpected guest in the house. When she heard Rosa mention she befriended her yesterday, she’d likely put two and two together. It was obvious Wisteria was the assassin I’d spoken of. Rosa suddenly befriending another girl, their identity must be that of an assassin.

“What’s wrong Alicia? This is unlike you, you’re usually the first to jump at the chance to make new friends.” Irene, who’d noticed her daughter’s strange reaction said that as she tilted her head curiously to one side.

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a bit tired after work, that’s all.”

“I see.” Irene didn’t find any major fault with her daughter’s behavior and accepted it. But I knew there was no way Irene would be so easily deceived, she just didn’t feel like it was appropriate to dig any further into it if her daughter didn’t want to say what was really on her mind.

“Alicia, the three of us should get better acquainted, we don’t have much time after all. Wisteria only has until Sunday.”

“Right.” Rosa dragged Wisteria and Alicia into their room upstairs leaving Irene alone with me.

“Is there a reason why my daughter seems so wary of this Wisteria girl?”

“Hmm… it’s a bit hard to explain. She doesn’t actually know her. She’s only heard a bit from me about her. Rosa and I only met her yesterday and got to know her. Maybe Alicia is afraid Wisteria will take Rosa away from her.” It was a decent enough cover, I thought.

“You really think you can pull the wool over my eyes so easily?”

“Haha. Of course not. Anyway, Wisteria is a good girl, she won’t do anything bad like Alicia might be worried about. She’s really not a bad girl at all, she’s just a bit special with her own set of circumstances.”

“Oh? Could it be you’ve gotten a fourth woman without telling us? It’s rare for you to put in a good word for someone, especially when it’s a woman as pretty as Wisteria. You’d usually do everything you could to stay clear of such a person.”

“It’s… not like that.” She might be the fifth in a way. I’d suddenly jumped from four to possibly five women I had to look after. It was hard for me to count Angela though. The sort of relationship we had was just outright weird. As for Wisteria, it was even stranger.

Anyway, why do problem women keep getting dumped on me? It doesn’t make any sense. Let some other guy deal with them, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to. I’m absolutely not accepting any more from here on out. Even if God himself came down and begged me to, I would not permit another.

If I ever reach the point where I can’t count the number of women I’m entangled with romantically on one hand, I’ll jump off a bridge. Ah. I really shouldn’t have thought that. Wasn’t that just an awful flag?

No, I seriously don’t want to jump off a bridge. Please, world, cut me some slack here. This isn’t a joke.

Wait, what if I go and beat the world to the punchline? Maybe I should find a really small bridge where the shallow water is frozen over and jump off of it. That should counteract the world’s foreshadowing nonsense.

Yeah, it’s decided, I’ll do that as soon as I get the chance.