April Fools
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This was supposed to be an entry in a school paper but at the last minute, the publication was canceled so, here I am posting it here just so someone other than me and the editor had read it. I wrote this four years ago back when I was beginning to publish some of my works online, lots of beginner mistakes, I know. Well, I edited the grammar but the story's as is.

 

“Are you a homophobe?”

She paused, her hand paused from its task of writing today’s assignment. Slowly, she raised her head and faced the source of the voice. Her eyes met hazel brown orbs shadowed by thick lashes, creamy complexion untarnished by puberty, and curly hair the color of darkest night. It was a feminine face in a male body.

Her lips twitched at the sight of his frown and she put down her pen.

“Eh? How could I be a homophobe when I have a friend like you?” she said with an accompanying flick of his forehead.

“Ouch,” he grumbled with a pout then he smiled, “yeah, I know. Good thing I didn’t listen to those loudmouths,” he nodded to himself, pleased for not betraying a friend. She smiled at his obvious joy before she picked up her pen and resumed her work. She bowed her head, her bangs had covered her face from his view. It was subtle, approximately a second at most, the way her hand clenched around the pen and her handwriting a sudden demon on clean white paper.

“I don’t hate the third sex but I don’t support them either. Rather, I describe my feelings as indifference, after all, they stole something precious from me.”

 

They stood together in front of the school gate, both waited for different reasons. Him, for the lover that brightened his world and her, for the opportunity to speak the truth.

“They are so mean, making a fool of me this April,” he whined. He pouted as he crossed his arms.

She chuckled beside him although her eyes flickered with sadness hidden by the light of the setting sun.

“Well, it can’t be helped since you always fall for their pranks,” she laughed and patted his arm. He shoved his arm with a scowl.

“You traitor, don’t talk to me. I’ve seen you assisting them in another prank. Hmph!” He turned his back away from her.

Her eyes trailed down his slender frame. His tall physique did not leave any room of doubt about his real identity. It was a male’s body yet at the same time, not.

She took a hesitant step forward, froze, and took another. She gulped, her nervousness a crippling emotion that made her fingers tremble. Before the thought of tucking tail and running away overwhelmed her mind, she took a deep breath and hugged him from behind.

“I, I love you..”

Silence. Such suffocating silence.

It drowned her and her heart ached. The blow dealt by herself to herself, and she opened her mouth, her next words became another knife that wounded that still bleeding organ.

“Heh! That creeped you out, didn’t it?” she laughed again. She stepped away and hugged her stomach, her laughter increased by the second.

“You..” she heard the tremor in his voice but she didn’t look, her eyes closed, pretending it was all a game. “That was too, ew! Just yuck!” He made a gagged sound that forced her to laugh even more.

Tears started to fall.

“Jeez, you’re so shallow. See, you’re laughing so hard it’s making you cry.”

“My, my sto...mach...hurts..” she wheezed between bouts of laughter. After a while, she calmed and she wiped her tears away. But as she straightened to face him, she saw him beam in delight, his visage had lightened from within.

It was a beautiful sight. His eyes twinkled, lips smiled, and his cheeks had that rose-tinted blush.

“Eh? What’s funny?” a deep voice asked behind her and she turned with a wide smile. So much wide that it had hurt.

“Oh, nothing. Just playing around.”

 

“It’s a selfish thought but I wish they don't exist. I wish there are only a man and a woman, nothing in between. Maybe then, I’ll have the chance. Maybe then he’ll see me and things will be different…”

 

She watched them walk away, their hands tangled, an unspoken gesture of commitment. Beautiful and tragic, her eyes painted the image in a canvas of loneliness. Bit by bit the picture blurred, smeared by droplets that rolled down her cheeks. If only tears were enough to wash away the colors and leave behind a blank canvas, then she would have cried a river.

 

“Maybe then, he will love me.”

 

It sounded pitiful, weak. To long for a love that would never be and to curse someone’s happiness. Yes, indeed, she was pitiful and weak but she couldn’t help it, she was a human being after all. No matter how much she told herself to be happy, to find someone new, in the end, her road always led her back to him.

Bitterness.

It swallowed her whole as she mourned. “Why couldn’t this sickness fade away?” She’d cry some nights in her bed, buried under thick blankets and comfortable pillows.

Disgust.

Such abnormal feelings shouldn’t exist in the first place. “Love? Him? He didn't deserve it.” She’d seethed in the middle of a drunken stupor, her steps unsteady while she ranted with her friends. They would laugh and slur her idiocy.

Loneliness.

The sound of the closed door, followed by footsteps in the living room and the bare feet paused. She’d stare at her empty couch then her eyes would start to wander the expanse of her home. She’d glance at her kitchenette, walk the few meters to her room, and would lay on her bed. It would start with her eyes closed, she’d hug herself next and she'd wished, pretended he, no, someone was here with her.

“In the end, they symbolize a fear for me. For they stand to threaten my happiness. I don’t hate them but…never knowing love and dying alone, these are blinding and it keeps me thinking of selfish thoughts…horrible thoughts.”

 

“May, hello, are you there?”

May blinked as she heard a finger snapped. The fog of memory vanished like smoke and reality made its presence known. Her hands felt cold and she glanced down, noting the thawed ice cream in front of her.

“What’s wrong with you? Your head’s up in the cloud these days. Is work troubling you?” her friend asked with a worried frown. “Ah, by any chance, are you having a writer’s block right now?”

“No, not really,” she shook her head. “In fact, I’m bursting with ideas,” May replied. Her thumb began to caress the lip of her cup. “You see, I’ve been entertaining the idea of publishing a thriller novel.”

“Ooh, exciting. What is it going to be?”

“Years has passed by and slowly my feelings has numbed.”

May pulled up her lips in an eerie smile, “it involves two boys in love..”

“Hate or love. The two are hard to distinguish.”

“And a murder.”

“I…I want to destroy them both.”

 

Growing up in the city had made May immune to all kinds of unusual things popping up here and there. Regardless, one must still stay on guard when the sun’s out and only the street lamps’ lights guided the way. She clutched her purse to herself all the while scolded her carelessness. Well, it couldn’t be helped, she’s elated after all.

It had been a month since that day she told her friend she planned to write a murder novel. It took her weeks to finally receive an OK signal from her editor. Today, she passed her manuscript to the office to be proofread. Give it a month or two and her work would be scheduled for publishing. In her excitement, she forgot the passing of time, lost in the moment of discussion of bringing a character to life.

Ah, the pain, the heartbreak of losing the one you love and succumbing to insanity. The roller-coaster of emotions. “I love this job,” May thought with a sigh of pleasure. Writing is a passion she would never give up in this lifetime, along with all the troubles that come with it.

“Hey, beautiful. Want some company tonight?”

May jumped, startled, her heart pounded with the man's sudden appearance. She wrinkled in disgust and scowled as the smell of alcohol penetrated her nose.

“A drunk, of all the people to meet,” she huffed under her breath.  She hastened her steps without a glance at the intruder.

“Oooh, wait,” the drunkard drawled. May ignored him and focus on straight ahead. With the moon hidden from sight she’s at a disadvantage and so fear slowly enveloped her.

“Missy..don’t go so far,” he sang behind her which caused May to shiver in fear. Her blouse started to stick on her skin as sweat perspired profusely.

“Why can’t I lose him? Effing drunkard, please trip,” May prayed. Her breath puffed out, mouth dried, and suddenly, all sound disappeared.

Bathump.

Bathump.

The strap of her sandal broke.

Oh.

Her ankle twisted.

God.

And she fell on cold gravel.

Help me.

“Gotcha,” the word tinted with lecherous intent was followed by a fit of giggles.

May tensed but at this moment, instead of cowering in fear and trying to escape, futile it may be, she narrowed her eyes in irritation. That shrill and girlish sound from his lips didn't sound like a man at all.

“How ugly,” she said, his somewhat small frame towered her hapless body. His laughter dwindled and he loomed with a darkened expression.

“Why you...You won’t be saying that after I’m done with you.” His body tensed and his hand was raised, to hit her? That, she had no doubt. People like him were easily provoked with a simple word especially when they were in the influence of alcohol. Reason would not work nor would an appeal for their conscience heard so she might as well speak out what’s in her mind.

“You are so unmanly, you piece of…” May winced when she moved her injured foot. The slightest motion had sent waves of pain from her right leg up to her body.

“I hope..” she gritted her teeth, “someone will hit you with a bat in the head.” Her foot continued to throb and fueled her anger, “then, you’d die of hemorrhage and burn in hell.”

In the most inopportune time, darkness started to fade away and the sky cleared, giving way for the full moon to shine. May saw the drunkard's face and thought it was as ugly as his intentions. The man sneered before a shadow appeared behind him.

“Wish granted!”

Thud.

“Unfortunately, it’s not a bat but...Oh well, what’s done is done.”

May’s eyes widened in surprise as her would-be rapist fell unconscious on the side. She yelped in pain, her injured ankle bore the weight of the fallen would-be criminal. She closed her eyes, the sensation overwhelmed her pain threshold and made her dizzy for a second.

“Oh, oh dear,” her savior said, the concern-saturated voice prompted May to open her eyes. The least she could do was say her thanks to her savior. The person's timely arrival had saved her from a horrible experience.

As May raised her head to address this savior of hers, she froze.

 

“In my eyes, I see an angel bathing in starlight, her halo is the moonlight, and she is clad in a gown of glittering white. It is enchanting and for the first time, I turn to myself to question, ‘am I in love with a woman?’”

 

Her eyes were the color of the sea, a cerulean shade that changed with the angle of light and showed off a circle of brown specks. They traveled up and down her body, sought for cuts and wounds while the woman's hands were warm satin against May’s cold skin.

May trembled while this woman murmured in the background, May's heart ached for unknown reasons and her eyes had burned with unshed tears. Her savior gasped, her lips painted the darkest cherry said something May couldn’t hear and her beautifully shaped eyebrows furrowed in worry. May sighed in contentment as the woman’s hand caressed her cheeks.

“Why are you crying?” she asked in the softest voice May had ever heard.

“This...” is a tragedy. May smiled, “the bag was more than enough. I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with just a small bump in the head for this pervert.” May glanced at the unconscious individual. “Thank you.”

“No problem. We, women, should stick together when we have the chance. God knows there’s a lot of creeps roaming this world,” she said with a roll of her beautiful orbs. “Luckily I decided to use this route back to the club or else,” she trailed with a frown. “Anyway, we need to check this ankle of yours. It looks like you fractured a bone.”

“Thank you but it’s fine. My bones are too tough to break under a mere slip. A good night’s rest is all it needs,” May smiled weakly, the distinct throb made her uncomfortable on the bare pavement.

“No, I don’t think so,” the woman insisted. When May protested, the woman sighed before she crouched.

“What are you doing?” May squeaked as the woman wrapped her hands behind May’s back and beneath her knees, she pulled May up. The woman straightened to her full height. This was what others termed as the bridal style, a romantic gesture in some circumstances but not in this moment. For one, it was a woman carrying another woman.

“Put your arms around my neck,” she commanded softly and May complied with a tiny blush. How this woman could bear May's weight was a mystery she'd had to think about, when she's calm and away from the beautiful savior.

“What about…him?” May glanced quickly at the prone drunkard.

“Hmm, let’s leave him in God’s hands,” the woman said with a grin. “Hopefully, a Good Samaritan will come and save him,” she pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders, “or not.”

“Where are we going?”

“Someplace where I can care for your broken ankle.”

May lowered her eyes and bit her lip. She felt shy all a sudden, “thank you again, umm..”

The beautiful stranger opened her mouth to reply but closed it soon after. “April,” the stranger voiced out in a solemn tone, “my name is April.”

May found the connection funny. “Nice to meet you, April. I am May.”

“No, no, no. I don’t like women in that way but there’s something in her that’s pulling me close, it’s binding me tighter and tighter into a world I don’t want to live upon. But still, I love yet I hate. Once again.”

 

Fingers had tapped on the faded keyboard in quick succession. The pitter-patter accompanied a hot coffee long turned cold, and a half-eaten cheesecake. May blew out a breath, oblivious to the state of her table in her favorite café.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” April inquired as she leaned beside May with a cup of coffee.

“Hell. My editor wants some scenes revised,” May growled and paused. She reread a phrase and found it was finally coherent. “It’s like cutting a piece yourself, you know. I mean, I think everything is perfect already. Why does she need to change it? Some of them are crucial too,” May huffed and glanced at the next paragraph. She reread her editor's notes and tapped the delete button for the umpteenth time. April chuckled and gracefull sipped her coffee.

“You should cool down a little. De-stress, so that you can tackle this with a clear head,” April suggested and lightly massaged May's right shoulder. “Besides, we haven’t hung out in like…” April paused dramatically, “forever.”

May’s deft fingers did not pause for a second. “We had dinner last night so I doubt mere hours can be counted as forever.”

April pouted, her glossy lips with pinkish tint highlighted their kissability. “But I miss you every second you’re not with me,” she cried out with a twirl of a lock from her long, curly hair.

“I miss you too,” May replied silently. This time, she paused from typing a sentence to calm herself. She hid her face from April’s view, her face beet red from the instinctive response.

No, after a month of being ‘friends’ with April, May knew this feeling was more than like. Dare she say it was love? A month of denial and here she was still flustered by a mere tease. What was this if not romantic love?

But why her? Because the last time May checked, she still liked guys. No, she was not a bisexual either. In truth, it seemed only April had that effect on her which baffled her. This familiar yet foreign feeling...had only been triggered once before.

“May, may you eat the neglected cheesecake,” April called out while she eyed the said dessert.

“I’ve eaten it already, you finish it,” May replied. She had learned this little tactic of April early on.

“Oh wow, really? Yum!”

April did not wait for an answer and devoured the rest of May’s cake with no remorse. She cleaned the plate and elegantly dabbed her lips.

“May, may you be successful in life.”

“I’m already successful. Have you seen my royalties? Yep, successful.”

April's long lashes fluttered as she rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease, don’t start with the earnings girl. We all know who’s going to win,” she smirked and inspected her manicured nails.

“Shut it,” May grumbled, reconciled with the fact April had a lot of business even though she looked like a spoiled princess. April glanced at May under her lashes, she crossed her arms on her chest and stretched the turtleneck shirt she wore. It piqued May’s interest once when she noticed April was fond of wearing sweaters and turtlenecks, clothes that cover her upper body and leaving just a hint of skin underneath. She thought April was the kind of person who liked to show off her flawless complexion but that wasn’t the case.

“Hey, May, let the gay couple in your story live,” April said with a serious face. She laid her head on May’s shoulder and hugged May’s arm. The action had pushed her chest firmly which caused May to frown with how weird it felt. April snuggled as tightly as she could her head almost buried on May’s neck with her taller height an advantage she utilized to the fullest.

“Hey, that tickles,” May whispered softly while April rubbed her nose behind May's neck. The two forgot they were in a public place, even so, no one noticed.

“Don’t kill them.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want the girl to suffer any longer,” April muttered and May reacted with a blink. That heartache which has been lost through the years started to ache with renewed vigor. That all too familiar squeeze in the depths of her heart.

“Eh? How can you say that? She became insane, remember?” May replied with a casual shrug but later surrendered to the urge to take April’s hand and tangled hers to it.

It felt smooth and right.

“Because Hate cannot exist without Love.”

May raised a brow, “And how did you come up with that philosophical shit, hmm?”

April beamed, “that, my dear,” she said and May’s nose lightly, “I will tell later at home.”

“And also,” she added. She leaned until their faces almost touched, their nose a mere centimeter away from each other, “I’ll be happy to persuade you to give it a happy ending.”

April winked, stood, and strutted away.

 

“The plot goes like this: there is a girl who falls in love but one day, she discovers she cannot love, and so…she undergoes a journey to kill love.”

 

“I received the document and skimmed through the parts you noted. I see we are pushing with that scenario, huh? By the way, the acknowledgment, we’ll be putting it at the back as requested.”

May closed her phone in front of April’s door. She smiled as she remembered her editor’s call a moment ago and the latter's positive response. Well, May had been thinking about it a month ago so her recent edits were a matter of wrapping up loose ends.

“Wow, you’re early.” 

“I’m just curious about your take on my story,” May reasoned and walked to the living room with April behind her. Pastel colors, a hint of vintage design, and the sweet smell of home that never failed to make May comfortable. If May could, she’d love to stay here forever.

“Is love and hate that interesting?” April inquired and entered the living room in her sweatshirt and cotton pants. May sat on the couch and stretched her legs, sighing in pleasure as she slouched.

“Hey, make room you slug,” April muttered with a playful push on May's side. 

“So?

“Hmm?” April hummed. She wrapped her arms around May’s waist. “Have I told you I miss you?” she whispered.

“Uh-huh,” May replied with a warm smile.

“Hate must have missed Love too. After killing him,” April started. May’s closed her eyes before she muttered, “their names are not Love and Hate.”

“They are.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because of all the characters in your book, the boy and the girl are the only people who don’t have a name.”

 

“Hate and Love were, no, are best friends. You couldn't separate the two. Some even say they were two sides of the same coin. So, when Love fell in love, Hate hated. Her hate grew because she couldn’t have Love. Her tears filled with loneliness, jealousy, and hurt, blinded her into the darkness.”

 

“She killed Love and lost her reason for living. In the end, Hate destroyed herself, huh?” May repeated April's words. She unconsciously closed her eyes as a strong wind passed by and caressed her face, her hair ended in a mess when it subsided. May clutched her own copy of the book. By now, April would be receiving her own and then she’d find out what really happened.

Two months have passed since May had seen April. The last time they talked was that night.

Did the lovers die?

That must be April's question as she read the novel. After all, May did not say anything nor did she agree with April’s analogy.

In May's side pocket, her smartphone rang.

“Where are you?” Meek. That was April's voice as if something was lodged in her throat.

“At the pier.”

May recalled her long ago heartbreak. Although the exact location was in another city, it was at a pier that they parted. She had smiled at him then, promised to keep in touch, and declared he'd be the only best friend she'd ever had. They were all lies for she had wanted to cry in goodbye, had the urge to confess she'd never contact him and had wanted to declare her heart would be the only one he'd keep.

May waited patiently, gazing at the horizon. Her eyes caught the gathering clouds, felt the change of the atmosphere.

Rain was coming.

“How did you know?” the voice trembled behind May and she turned to face the source. There stood a rarely seen April; unkempt, unfashionable, uneasy. She clutched May's book to her chest, her tight hold revealed the whiteness of her bones.

April had run as fast as she could, took nothing else except the book, and her face streaked with tears that still flowed while she faced May.

“Ah, it’s raining already?” May observed with a sad smile. She hadn't looked upon the darkening sky, instead, she walked towards April. “You look funny,” May pointed and wiped the black, wet smudge of make-up from April’s face with care.

“How did you know?” April repeated weakly. May cupped April's cheeks and leaned until their foreheads touch. It was fortunate the normally tall April hadn't worn heels today.

“I’ve known my best friend since we were little. Though I’ve lost touch with him over the years, I’d still recognize that boy even when he is not him. Even after changing everything that is him,” May’s eyes began to burn with unshed tears and she sniffed.

“My heart will never forget,” May added in a broken whisper.

 

“Because this heart of mine will only love one person in this lifetime.”

 

“That ending. You see, I will not and did not change it,” May continued, her eyes never strayed from April’s own, “when you told me you want to, because…” May paused and gulped, the ache of words stuck in her and the struggle to spit them out, had blurred her vision.

“Because,”

A drop of water landed beside them.

“the night I met you,”

Another drop landed on May’s shoulder.

“that ending has already changed.”

Rain poured.

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

To the boy I love and the woman he has become, thank you for saving me. I love you, always.

 

Date of publication:

01, April.

 

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