Eulogy of the Prince 23
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‘Wait a bit more…’

         Those words lingered in my head, like a spell that Young Lord had put on me. After he kissed me, I went back and did odd jobs in the palace as usual, also I followed the guard-in-training diligently.

         Although the training was really harsh and tiring, I didn’t really mind it. I did all the training without even frowning, because my head was in the clouds right now.

         ‘Wait a bit more, until we can be together…’

         ‘He really reciprocates my feelings.’

         ‘Is this a dream?’

         “You! Why are you dazed! Do a hundred push-ups!”

         Irion’s thundering voice shook my daydream and I immediately followed his order. Although it was supposed to be a harsh punishment, I felt like my body was very light and these hundred push-ups didn’t even itch me.

         Because in my mind, I imagined Young Lord encouraged me and gave me strength while smiling at me. I imagined him waiting on the side while watching me train to be a guard, then gave me a towel to wipe my sweat after I finished my daily training.

         I imagined Young Lord approaching me after training and said, ‘Ramuja, here is a towel and water, you must be tired.’

         And then I would reply with something like, ‘Thank you, honey.’

         Wait, I think honey was too much, Young Lord would definitely scold me if I say something cringy.

         ‘W—well, maybe darling? Dear? I—I don’t mind as long as Young Lord gives me a nickname…’

         ‘If he gives me a nickname, it would make us look like a m—m—married partners…’

         I blushed during my push-up, so I speeded up the tempo in order to brush this tingling feeling inside my heart.

         I finished a hundred push-ups without rest and I didn’t even feel tired, because I was only daydreaming the whole time. Irion glared at me suspiciously, because he wasn’t sure whether the punishment was enough, but he finally let me go.

I finished the training today, washed my body and headed to my room.

         I sat on my bed and picked the ugly dried-out sunflower on the table. I smelled it gently, and noticed that it had a very familiar smell. Something familiar that intoxicated me, I smelled it again and guessed, “Young Lord sprayed his perfume in this flower?”

         ‘Young Lord has a soft, long lasting perfume, and it’s very pleasant to smell…’

         I was getting giddy, I imagined that I was smelling Young Lord’s body through this flower, his pale and tender skin, slim hips, and his sweet lips calling my name. Unsurprisingly, something down there got hard again.

         I gulped. This was bad, I kept having improper thoughts about him. I decided to close my eyes. Because I had to accompany Young Lord on his morning walk tomorrow. I slept peacefully, still dreaming about Young Lord.

         Until I heard a familiar voice calling me in my dream.

         ‘Ramuja? I thought you were going to marry me…’

         I looked around to find Merry standing alone, her cheeks were soaked with the stream of tears. She looked really hurt as she held the knitted fake gardenia that she had given to me once.

         “Merry… I’m sorry,” I lowered my head, unable to look at her, “I thought I could forget Young Lord, but I couldn’t…”

         ‘So, you used me as a substitute? Ramuja, You are a monster! Young Lord wouldn’t love a monster like you!’

         I instantly opened my eyes. My eyes wandered around the room and darted towards the window. The sun started rising, so I guessed it was time for me to wait for Young Lord. I took a deep breath and reminded myself, ‘It’s okay, Merry will understand this. She should get more than a mere slave like me…’

         I washed my face and headed to the south garden. I was shocked to see Young Lord already standing at the entrance. I rushed and kneeled in front of him, “Begging Young Lord to forgive this servant for his tardiness!”

         Young Lord chuckled and replied, “It’s okay. It is me who came here earlier, because I was excited.”

         Young Lord rubbed my hair and said, “W—Well, let’s go.”

***

         Young Lord and I paced around the south garden until we stopped in front of the fountain, the place where I got my first kiss from him yesterday. Young Lord smiled at me and sat on the rim of the fountain, thus, I naturally kneeled in front of him, waiting for the next order.

         “Ramuja, sit here.”

I raised my head when I heard Young Lord’s voice. I saw his hand tapping the spot beside him, “Young Lord, how could I sit side by side with you…”

“It’s okay, it’s an order,” Young Lord said lightly. I walked near the rim of the fountain and nervously sat beside Young Lord. This was the first time I sat side to side with Young Lord, and I almost fainted out of nervousness.

‘Am I too big? What if Young Lord finds me unpleasant to look at?’

‘Wait, how about my smell? I already took a bath, but we are different! He might find me awful!’

‘What about my breath? Does my breath smell bad?’

Train of anxious thoughts flooded my mind, but Young Lord seemed to understand my mind, he tapped my shoulder and said, “It’s fine, you are fine.”

“Y—Yes, Young Lord,” I nodded, “This servant is just nervous, because this is the first time I can sit side to side with you…”

“Well, you have to get used to it!” Aster giggled, “Because we are going to do this often!”

My heartbeat quickened when Young Lord said that. I thought yesterday was a mistake, probably Young Lord was still sleepy or too stressed out with his work, but it was not a lie.

‘Our feelings are really mutual…’

Soon after, Young Lord’s smile dissipated and his shoulder dropped, “Well, I have to separate myself from my mother first.”

I jolted and almost fell to the fountain when I heard the word ‘mother’. I forgot about that demoness who tormented me for years. If she knew about Young Lord who kissed me yesterday, and then sat beside me today, then I would be a dead meat.

I panicked and kneeled in front of Young Lord again. Young Lord’s gaze deepened, he asked, “Why do you kneel again? I told you to sit beside me, right?”

“Y—Young Lord, this servant had dared to sit beside Young Lord! Please punish this servant!” I said, my body trembled as I imagined the torture I went through when Young Lord wasn’t here.

Young Lord crossed his arms, he looked displeased, “Is it because of my mother?”

My shoulder dropped and I tried my best to keep my silence. But Young Lord’s countenance became grimmer.

“Tell me, what did she do to you?”

I was unsure if I heard it right, my eyes glanced up to look at Young Lord’s displeased expression. But his eyes weren’t looking at me, instead, he was staring at Grand Duchess’ balcony.

“Young Lord?”

“Tell me, what did she do to you? I will protect you,” Young Lord declared. I was gazing at his mesmerizing eyes. He was still glaring at Grand Duchess’ balcony.

‘Something must’ve happened…’

I was thinking about backpedalling, saying that everything was alright, Grand Duchess did nothing wrong and I deserved all the beating. But when I saw Young Lord’s determined eyes, I got a strength inside my heart.

‘If he trusts me, then I should trust him…’

I clenched my fist to brace myself and said, “Young Lord, Grand Duchess was the one who forced me to leave grand duchy when you were going to Golden Palace.”

I closed my eyes immediately, waiting for Young Lord to rebuke me. But I only heard a low hum and then he said, “continue.”

‘He trusts me… he trusts me! He really trusts me!’ I almost shed tears in front of Young Lord. I decided to follow my instinct and hugged Young Lord’s leg.

“Young Lord! Grand Duchess punched, kicked, whipped me because I refused to leave you!”

“Yes.”

“She forced me to insult you! I never hate you, I always admire you, Young Lord!”

“Yes.”

“She forced me to leave you! Young Lord, I never wanted to abandon you! I really, really love you. How can I leave you alone? Young Lord, I’m so sorry.”

I finally cried in front of my master. I hugged his leg tightly, “Young Lord, you give me a life! I cannot leave you no matter how much torture she did to me!”

Aster nodded and said, “Understood.”

Young Lord patted my head softly. He smiled at me and wiped my tears with his delicate finger, “Why are you crying again? You already cried yesterday. You are a big man, you know that?”

I buried my face between his thighs, I was embarrassed yet happy at the same time. To have someone who trusted me, it felt like a dream.

With my head still buried between his thighs, I asked, “Young Lord, do you really trust a slave like me?”

         “I do not trust a slave,” Young Lord said. He propped my chin up, so our eyes met, “But you are not a slave anymore, Ramuja. I trust you.”

         There, I saw his pupils turned pure golden. But this time, it wasn’t scary or numbing like Grand Duchess’ or Crown Prince’s. It shone gently, as if showering me with bright light.

         My heart wavered in tender beats.

         ‘I am nothing and have nothing, but Young Lord, my breath is yours.’

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