"Haaah-!!!" Long Jun choked on his own saliva gripping his neck from the sudden constriction and sat up from shock.

His body was shaking uncontrollably. He was too out of sorts and everything infront of him was a heavy blur, he grasped his head yet was unable to add force into it letting his arms wilt back down and recklessly shook his head left and right to gain back his sight.

He tried standing up but his knees buckled losing his balance then crashed onto the floor with a loud *thud*

Long Jun probably bruised his arm from the impact yet rather than focusing on the pain, he caged his head with both hands unable to free himself from the nauseating headache.

Where was he?

What happened?

Why is it so damn bright?!

He weakly flopped his back onto the cold floor and stared at the blue ceiling, his eyes dilating from shock.

Am I dead?

". . where. . ."

The pulsing pain came rushing back like a stampede of horses. He gripped his head again from the splitting headache, tears coming out non-stop and he laid down in a familiar fetal position enduring it all.

Why do I still feel pain?

Why is this damn feeling back?!

Why? WHY?! WHY?!!!

After a long hour of squirming and kicking around inflicting self harm, the pain finally subsided and he gathered some sense back. His breathing was labored and his legs felt turned jelly not listening to him. He stiffly laid there unable to make sense of whatever was going on.

The room was painted blue and this hue was unfamiliar to him. He hated such bright colors, such shades would remind him of his pitiful self adding stress to his madness.

Pictures of unfamiliar people smiling were hanged on the walls. Their smiles were genuine. Some pictures looked dumb, like the man who was wearing a magician's costume with a bunny on his head. Most were warm, a group of people sitting together to enjoy the park or camping beside a beautiful lake.

They were all what Long Jun never had.

He stood up using the bed and the shelf beside it for support dragging his stiffed body to look outside the window.

There were only three floors indicating that he really wasn't inside his apartment.

He . . . won't die from this fall would he?

Long Jun opened the window and raised his leg ready to take off but then the nauseating feeling struck back losing his balance sure that that bruise worsened turning dark purple.

He couldn't do it.

HE CANNOT.

All the courage he had was spent and his body was trembling mad reliving every detail of smashing itself onto the solid car. How it felt to bleed to his death slowly emptying the blood reserves out of his broken body.

He was traumatized.

It felt like a bad asthma attack. It was hard to breath, his heart felt like it was gonna stop in any second. The pain was ringing throughout his bones and he hunched down desperate to cool this sh*tty feeling off his chest.

[WanWan: A-a-are you okay?]

Then it stopped.

His breath stopped when he heard the voice. He warily looked around him collecting all the composure he could, afraid that someone saw him suffering like a total loser.

On the bed was a meng overloading gray-white Scottish fold cat staring at him with its doey black eyes rimmed in gold. It had a fluffy fur that could tempt anyone to stroke and pamper it unable to let go. But he was immune to it and sighed in relief.

[WanWan: H-h-h-hello!!!]

That relief quickly vanished and his eyes were strongly alight with shock.

The cat. . . it's talking?

Above it's head were also a set of texts with it's earlier words exactly written, proof that he wasn't crazy enough to hallucinate.

[WanWan: I-i-im WanWan! uhh... WanWan w-was sent here to watch over you?(╯•﹏•╰)? ]

[WanWan: *Ehem* L-Long Jun! B-be thankful! You have been transmigrated!. . . uhh did WanWan did it as G-Granpa Yan told me?]

The cat system, WanWan hung his head low out of nervousness and shut his eyes tight.

Long Jun didn't know where he found the strength to crawl up and sprint inside the open bathroom leaning on the porcelain sink to look at his face.

It wasn't his.

It wasn't the face that resembled more of his mother.

His hair was dyed chestnut brown and his eyes were green. No, he was wearing contact lenses? This new face looked around the same age but his skin was now white and his thin lips were red. It didn't decrease the manliness of its eyes yet made it sexier. The slightly arched eyes were a bit suggestive but when he frowned, it changed into an overbearing and haughty look.

He slapped himself, tightly gripped his hair and irritatingly paced in circles inside the bathroom.

He paused and with tremblin hands he tried taking out the lenses but because he was too shaken up he accidentally poked his eye and reflexively bent down, hitting his head on the hard surface.

Long Jun blew up and shattered the mirror with a punch.

CRASH!

WanWan tried sneaking inside the bathroom but ran back when he saw the mirror shards raining down to the floor.

He wasn't a real cat but what's scary is still scary! (='；ω；｀=)

[WanWan: L-L-Long Jun! Are you okay?!]

He peeked his tiny head out from behind the door and stared worriedly at his host.

Long Jun ignored him, intensely gazing at the mirror shards on his foot, entranced.

Can he do it?

Can he try again?

Would it hurt?

Is it fine?

He bent down grabbing it on his hand without controlling the strength of his grip, listlessly staring as blood trickled out his palm. Long Jun's head was repeatedly racing through laps trying to convince himself to do it. That it was rightful to do so. That he was dead.

But it was useless.

He let go. . .

Ever so slowly, he opened his bloody palm.

The red glass piece hit the ground and it made a clinking noise.

Long Jun stared at the shattered mirror with eyes ever so lifeless.

What went wrong? Why couldn't he rest even when he wanted to? Is the heaven's so damn unfair that they wouldn't even grant him peace?

F*ck this!

F*ck the world!!!

His tears ran slowly but like a dam, they burst out.

He needed to cry.

The contacts slipped out as he repeatedly rubbed his face all over in despair. He had the same dark eyes and the color made the sad bawling face uglier.

He slumped back and knelt on the floor. The tiny shards ripping small holes through his pants.

WanWan gathered a bottle of  courage and jumped on the pitiful man's lap.

WanWan stared at his crying face mewling softly to comfort him.

-

March 24th, 5 days after his death.

Yu Jiang's private phone suddenly rang while he was browsing through some documents in his office.

"Hello?"

Uhh- hello? Who is this?

"Who are you?" He frowned since the person on the other line calling through the number wasn't his half-brother.

This is the police. Are you acquainted with a man named Long Jun?

The hand that was twirling his pen stopped. A bad feeling crept up and he stood up to ease his discomfort.

"Im his brother."

Brother? ..... then has he been into trouble lately? Was there anything suspicious going on with him recently?

"What happened?" His forehead started to sweat and he breathed out a heavy sigh.

Uhh..... I'm sorry but you might need to come to the police station to talk.

Your brother. He's dead.

CLING.

The pen fell of his hand and his eyes widened.

He died at his apartment in Shanghai. There were signs of struggle inside the house and we didn't find his phone so we tracked him here at his apartment in Beijing.

Some information doesn't match up and we started suspecting that it wasn't simply a normal robbing case.

Please come at this address to talk with us.

After receiving the address did Yu Jiang dropped the call.

He stood in place for a minute and slowly slumped back on his chair. He stared blankly into space letting the silence sink into his mind then took a key from his upper drawer and used it to open the one at the very bottom.

Inside was a picture frame with only him and his half brother in an amusement park. They weren't close but before meeting him, he was an only child. The little brother he never had was truly cute and likable so he was a bit attached.

Their Father differ, he thought nothing of him and never failed to send hush money to his account.

Yu Jiang pressed the button on his landline calling his secretary in.

"Boss?"

"Cancel all my appointment for a week. I have some personal issues to work on."

"Understood." The straight laced beauty didn't idle longer and left.

He had long stopped smoking. But he was itching for an entire pack right now.

-

He stayed in the police station for a day and followed them the next taking the flight to shanghai.

All the information they gathered were on his mind.

His birthday Porsche was sold.

He donated all he received to a cancer research center.

His bank account was handed to some nurse.

The apartment in Beijing was never his but his girlfriends'.

The first three all took place the day before he died.

Yu Jiang opened the apartment door that was pasted with yellow strips. The inside was a mess.

There inside of the house was plain consisting of only needed necessities and a few decorations.

Yu Jiang looked around and what caught his eye were only two things.

The painting of Long Jun, and the blazer at the side of the window.

He stood infront of the painting, unbeknownst to the fact that he was standing right at the same spot his little brother stood before jumping off. . .

"Mr. Yu, we do not know if something else was stolen. Other than money we had no clue what it could be, also we found a pair of gloves that were hidden under a plant but it only contained the victim's DNA ." The detective rumbled on and on.

"We thought through it all but after asking around Beijing we suspect that your brother-"

"No. It's a murder case." Yu Jiang cut him off.

"-huh? How are you so sure?"

"My brother never caused trouble." Yu Jiang gently picked the painting up and brushed away the meager dust on its surface.

"I'll take this. . . as a memento. Can I?"

" Uhh. . . I cannot make the decisions here. Please ask my superior."

"I will." He coolly strolled off without looking back and was warmly welcomed by the said superior before they headed to the morgue.

The cold frozen body was now before him and they only let Yu Jiang look at the corpse's face.

The rest of the body was too much of a sorry sight to look at. No doubt.

It was probably caused by the frost but the dead Long Jun looked serene. His expression seemed to be softer, and a lot more loose than any of those he'd seen before.

He was sure of it. Upon death his little brother had a genuine expression on his face.

All along he had an inkling, that he had never seen his little brother's real self. The real him was a stranger, someone he never may have met.

He kept his mouth shut. For Yu Jiang didn't know how to deal with such complexity.

And now he was gone.

It was too late for him to speak up.

On the box beside his feet was the Rolex watch, the same one he gifted him the night before the incident. It was now broken and the time stopped ticking maybe at the exact time when his brother passed away.

The man in charge nodded his head gesturing that he could take it with him. Yu Jiang shoved it into his pocket, covered his little brother's face with a white cloth and left.

It was only him attending throughout the funeral process and the body was then cremated.

Long Jun didn't have a family tree to be honored to nor a burial ground to rest. Yu Jiang drove his car to the sea in Tianjin, one of the few places they went together.

He wore a full black suit and stood solemnly on a higher ground watching as the sun goes down with a cigarette on his hand.

After finishing one, he poured the ashes onto the sea and lighted up another.

Yu Jiang's relationship with Long Jun was only one sided.

To him Long Jun was truly his little brother, but the other person never thought of it the same way.

They made sure to go on a trip once a year and that was that. Never had they ever talked about the other's feelings.

Yu Jiang wanted to take the initiative to draw closer but Long Jun always gave off the feeling that he would up and leave never to show up again if he did.

There was a boundary and he had been silently warned not to go over.

". . . if only you at least tried to talk to me. . ." he whispered letting out a thick cigarette smoke.

If their circumstances were different, would things had changed for the better?

Gone for a week Yu Jiang arrived to his apartment and was startled to see a man in his 50s sitting on his living room couch.

"Where were you?" It was his Father.

"Tianjin."

"What did you do?"

"Scattered ashes." His father calmly picked up his coffee and stared at it.

"He really died?. . ."

"Murdered." Their exchange was curt since neither were not fond with words.

The case was closed, the crime, Murder.

He knew the truth but in respect of Jun's decision, he did what could give him peace in the afterlife.

It was fine if only he knew of the facts.

People didn't need to be privy of the truth.

He died in the middle of all attention. His little brother in the end wanted someone to remember him, right?

"The funeral... why did you not ask me?" His eyes, solemn.

"You won't come." Yu Jiang's word stopped his hand and put his coffee on the table.

After immersing themselves at the long silence as they respected the dead, Father Yu finally picked up his bag intending to leave.

"Go back to work tomorrow." he said and left after seeing his son nod.

Yu Jiang sat on the same couch and picked up the worn out photo that was left on the table.

It was the three of them on the Manor's garden. All three of them were stiff and there were no smiles on their faces, yet this was the only family photo they had of them three.

" Jun 'er. . . If I were to say that Father regretted it a bit, would you believe me?"

His low voice quickly faded and a tear slid through the photo's surface.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*

(a/n: to explain the brothers complicated relationship, Yu Jian didn't hate his bastard brother at all but actually liked him. He knew that this little brother was too fake but also that it was only to protect himself. He really wanted his little brother to rely on him but he himself had problems in interaction, so making his closed off brother open up was a tough challenge. Long Jun knew his kindness and was grateful. 

We all know how ironic people are. Long Jun was a depressive person, and he didn't want to show such pessimism to others, that he was fine but when he was reaching his end he wanted people to at least remember him. His clumsy way of orchestrating his death was like a message. That he was suffering, that he had a story he couldn't tell. He wanted the person he was most thankful for, his older brother, to know that although he couldn't explain it and talk about it, he wanted to let him know the meaning of his death. That he killed himself for he had given up.)

I hope I relayed this poor person's message well.