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They walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. Luckily, they didn't meet anyone in the long, dark hallways. Ira grandly allowed Silas to hold his hand the entire way, as Silas stared at him viciously and always growled something when he got too far away. It was amusing, but it was also not something that he necessarily wanted to deal with.

Ira still didn't understand a word that Silas said. He had chosen not to download and install the language that Silas spoke, despite the fact that it would significantly ease conversations. He didn't mind the language barrier. In fact, it was kind of fun.

And now Ira didn't have to pretend to missunderstand Silas. 

Silas's grip on his hand was tight, so tight that Ira could feel the man's pulse beating. His own thumb swept alongside his skin on Silas's hand and he felt the pulse speeding up. At that reaction, he smiled. Ira peeked at Silas out of the corner of his eyes and smiled mysteriously. With a bright grin, he started to swing their hands in between them and stared at Silas, waiting for his reaction. Silas didn't disappoint.

A soft look in his eyes and he stared at Ira like he couldn't believe that he was real. A gooey sensation was growing in his stomach and Ira's hand squeezed tighter. He looked Silas over.

Silas was an alien. He was, in fact, the alien leader of the squadron that had come to this planet to hunt humans. The people he belonged to were far more advanced than humans and had superior ships that could travel a greater distance at a much higher speed. As such, their ships had no issues getting to planets where humans had crashed and couldn't leave. These humans were the ideal prey as they had no way off the planet, were out of range for rescue, and thus could not call for assistance, and they usually ended up self-destructing anyway. In addition, the aliens had not officially made first contact with humans, and as such, did not have any treaties with them.

Naturally, the aliens could make contact at any time. But they didn't want to. They liked hunting humans. It was fun.

Ira could relate.

Abruptly, Ira was pulled to a stop. Looking at Silas to his right, he raised a questioning eyebrow and waited for him to do something. Silas said something, sounded frustrated, but once more Ira had no idea what he said. Waiting patiently, the seconds ticked by. 

Obviously, Ira was aware that there were humans nearby. They were patrolling as they had been instructed to do and were only a few meters away. But they were moving in a different direction so Ira saw no reason to pay them any attention. Pulling softly on Silas' hand, Ira started walking again. Silas followed easily.

When they were only a few meters away from the cafeteria, the thought hit Ira that he probably shouldn't bring an alien in there. His map showed that there were humans present and they would doubtlessly be cross with him for dragging around an alien. They might even attempt to murder him due to fear that he was a traitor.

Ira could be a traitor if he wanted to. He could be the best traitor.

He stopped outside the doors to the cafeteria, waiting for something to happen. But it seemed like all the humans in there was doing something weird, especially as the food wasn't being served in the cafeteria at all. The food was served in the cargo hold. So what were the humans in there doing?

A little zooming and he could find out. Peering into the room in his mind's eye, Ira saw the humans standing around something on the floor. When he looked closer, he saw that it was one of the monsters he had killed. They appeared to be dissecting it. They were, in fact, staring at it with grossed out fascination.

If they were that distracted by the monster, they might not even notice Silas. Ira pressed the button and the door slid open. He walked through first, with Silas following closely behind him.

Nobody so much as looked up at them. Gleefully, Ira pulled Silas along the edge of the room toward the kitchen at the far left of the cafeteria. Walking through the doorway, they entered it without even a single person commenting on the fact that he was dragging around an alien. Ira immediately got started on finding something to eat while Silas parked himself by the door, guarding it. Ira let him be.

Cracking open a counter filled with conserved food, Ira pulled a can of soup from a cabinet and set it to heat up. He watched the boiling water with fascination and ignored whatever was happening around him. When the soup was finished, he took it off the stove and set it down on the counter. A bowl and spoon had mysteriously appeared on it while he wasn't looking, so Ira started eating right away.

He saw Silas moving out of the corner of his eyes. Silas was still staring right at him, large yellow eyes never letting Ira out of their sight. Feeling that heavy weight on him, Ira shivered slightly. He wondered what Silas was going to do.

The noise from the cafeteria rose. Ira was almost finished with his meal when he looked up and heard the sound of something breaking. His map didn't show any living monsters in here, so Ira didn't pay it any more attention. Instead, he went back to eating, secure in the knowledge that Silas wouldn't let him get hurt. Unless Ira wanted to get hurt, in which case there was nothing Silas could do about it.

Signing, he put down the spoon and leaned back on the chair. He breathed calmly and entertained the thought of going out there into the proper cafeteria which Silas, just to see what the reaction would be. He bet it would be amusing.

But Ira was not a purely evil being. And also, he wanted some time with Silas alone.

Standing up from the chair, Ira cracked his back and felt his bones creaking in response. He sauntered over to Silas and shrugged helplessly. He decided to see what Silas wanted to do next and go with it. He was curious.

Silas grabbed his hand again. Their fingers slotted together seamlessly and they exited the kitchen with Silas leading. When they walked into the cafeteria, Ira peaked over Silas' shoulder to see how do humans would react. It took a while for the humans to notice the alien, but since Silas was making more noise than when they had entered, they eventually did. A short-haired, stocky guy stared wide-eyed at Silas and hit his friend on the shoulder. "Hey?" he said, with what sounded like panic in his voice. "Are you seeing this?"

The friend looked up. And immediately took out a gun and aimed it at Silas. Ira's eyes widened dramatically and he felt the first stirrings of bloodlust rising in him. Silas stopped in front of him. He growled something, the language rough and threatening.

Ira fingered his gun. It was on his utility belt, and he was more than ready to use it. But Silas didn't wait for him to pull it out, instead, he walked over to the humans as he unsheathed his swords in one quick motion. Ira stopped moving. He decided that he would much rather watch whatever it was that Silas had decided to do. The swords gleamed under the lights, the sharp edges drawing Ira's eyes. Ira backed up in an attempt to get out of the blood range.

"Freeze!" One of the other humans — there were five in total — also pulled out a gun and waved it in Silas's direction. His hand was trembling. There was no doubt that he was freaking the fuck out.

Silas didn't freeze.

His pace was unhurried, slow, and steady as he approached the humans. Finally, the first human who had noticed them ran out of patience and took the shot.

Ira grinned.

The bullet hit Silas and stopped. When it fell to the ground, the front of it was crushed as the inertia of the bullet competed with the armor's technology and lost. The human stared at the bullets on the floor. Then he looked at Silas and his face did a complicated thing that Ira didn't care to decipher.

Silas bent forward, holding his swords out in front of himself. The human shot again but his shot veered off wildly to the left of Silas. A miss. Ira jumped up on the table and crossed his legs on it, sitting with his head resting on his hand as he stared at Silas.

At some unheard signal, Silas took off.

"Shit!" The humans started shooting wildly. Two ran away trying to get out of the cafeteria, but the other three stayed and decided to fight. That said, Ira wasn't going to let the humans get away so he shot at them, forcing them to change course.

The humans finally seemed to notice him. "What the hell are you doing!?" One of the escaping humans shouted. He sounded betrayed.

The other human running away was a woman. When she realized that he was a human too, she screamed, "Traitor! Don't think you'll get away with this!"

Ira was pretty sure that he would.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Silas had reached the first of the humans. That armor was really too OP; it protected him relentlessly against the oncoming projectiles. Not a single shot got through its defenses.

Silas swung his swords.

Blood sailed through the air.

Ira concentrated on shooting the humans that got too close to the door as they ran all over the cafeteria in search of protection and cover. More bullets burrowed into the walls, and actually, that was super weird. Ira had a phaser gun. So did his Host. Why did these humans have guns with actual bullets?

He smelled a conspiracy.

Deciding that it was something to ponder about another time, Ira relaxed as he watched Silas play with the humans. One by one, they died. It was, of course, inevitable.

Humans were so very fragile. Their bodies were born soft and it fell to pieces with barely any effort. As it got older, the human body just deteriorated more and more. It started off fragile and only grew more so with the years.

Shoving his sword through the last human alive, Silas stopped moving. The human made an inarticulate sound as it slowly died, the light fading from her eyes. The gun clattered to the floor. Pulling his sword back out, Silas turned around to face Ira with no regard to the human that landed gracelessly on the floor. This time, it was Silas that was covered in blood.

Ira stared at a man. His eyes rolled over and searched the man's body, logging everything he saw. He had recorded the entire event and was going to watch it in his sleep tonight. Surely, there must have been some crossbreeding in the man's ancestry. Otherwise, it made no sense that he looked so much like a human, though his coloring was off.

But even if there was a weird conspiracy taking place in this world, it was none of his business. He wasn't going to waste energy trying to figure it out when it had nothing to do with his mission.

Silas walked over to him. Ira stayed sitting where he was on the table. He leaned his head back as Silas came closer in order to maintain eye contact. Silas was very tall and bending his head like this was starting to hurt. Stopping in front of him, Silas stared at him without a word. Ira furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Silas only laid his hand on Ira's head and gently patted it. It felt nice.

It’s a Wonderful Life, Vol. 1 - Paperback Edition is live!

Disclaimer: This book was rushed through production—and when I say rushed, I mean I did 2 cursory edits and called it quits. I originally made the paperback for myself when I was in a bad place, so I didn’t care about the quality. But something was wrong with my file, which the publisher kindly fixed. Problem is, now I don’t dare mess with it. So the published version is flawed! There are doubtlessly typos in there I missed (though I’m too scared to look for them). 

If you want to buy this book (thank you so much!) I want you to be aware of what you’re getting. This is a first edition; a flawed first edition. It’s possible that when IWL is complete, I’ll go back and do proper edits and release a second edition. But I might not. I don’t know yet. The point is, please don’t expect perfection. I don’t want to disappoint you. Similarly, no changes has been made to storyline, plot, characters etc. It’s virtually identical to the web novel.

If you read all that and still want to buy the paperback, thank you! You can purchase it here: https://widget.publit.com/its-a-wonderful-life_4160/its-a-wonderful-life-vol-1/9789180200882 

The book itself costs ca €16. Shipping internationally I would guess is at least €12. So in total: close to €30.

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