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Ira didn't waste any time. The next time that he woke up, he had a big meal and prepared himself. Then he set out into the bright, wide world and got started on his journey to find Silas.

In his dream, he had seen Silas and had cuddled with him; it was one of those memories disguised as dreams. And when he woke up alone, he found that he was kind of annoyed and decided that the best thing to do would be to just go out and fix it himself. He was sure that Silas would find him eventually anyway, but he discovered that he wasn't patient enough to wait for it anymore.

He was being strangely productive, he realized very quickly. Usually, he just went with the flow and it was Silas that found him, but those cuddles were really addictive and Ira never hesitated to give himself something that he wanted. If he wanted to spend hours and hours and hours reading manga, then, of course, he would do so. And if he wanted to cuddle with Silas, then he saw no logical reason why he shouldn't. As such, leaving to find the man so that he would get those cuddles, that he assumed Silas had at some point promised him because Silas seemed like the kind of man who would do such a thing thoughtlessly, was also a perfectly reasonable course of action.

Ira locked the door behind himself when he left, because despite the fact that this wasn't a very good neighborhood and he didn't actually care about any of the stuff in his apartment and wouldn't be bothered if they were stolen or something, he had lots and lots of cupcakes in the freezer and he didn't want to lose them. Granted, there probably weren't a lot of thieves out there who would break into an apartment to steal frozen cupcakes, but he wasn't going to take any chances.

The cupcakes weren't as good as those Silas made, but until Ira could trick his cuddle friend to make more for him, they would have to do.

Was cuddle friends an actual thing? Ira felt like it should be.

He hummed an old melody under his breath as he walked across the town to the bus stop. It was a bit out of his way, but Silas was in another city; the same city as the award ceremony had taken place in. If Silas lived there or he was just there for the awards, Ira didn't know and he didn't precisely care all that much. He knew where Silas was right now, and Silas was close enough that it was like a 40-minute bus ride, so why wouldn't he go? There was nothing stopping him.

It felt a little weird to be on the bus, heading to meet somebody that he had maybe started to consider an okay sort of person, that he somewhat liked and who liked him. It was a strange feeling, and it reminded him of meeting his first Host thousands of years ago, of that nervous anticipation when he got his first met them.

But Ira knew Silas. The anticipation wasn't about meeting him or wondering if Silas would like him, it was about the fact for the first time in nearly as long as he could remember, he was looking forward to something. And he was going out of his way to get it, even though he didn't really understand his feelings at all.

But they existed, and that might be the most telling piece of evidence he had that something was changing.

He spent the entire bus ride reading. There was nothing else to do and he wasn't interested enough in his Host to check in on what they were doing. Why should he care about them? Why should he check in on them when it was being recorded anyway? When he had alarms set up in case anything happened? When it was all a mess and he didn't need to know what they were doing to know that they were probably failing epically, and if they weren't then that was just another facet of the same thing.

Ira wasn't a good system, and he wasn't good at his job, and he didn't like it, and he had never pretended to, and his boss knew that and his colleagues knew that, and they had never held this against him. They knew the reason why Ira acted like he did and they had only ever tried to support him in his recovery. But the greatest piece of recovery he had ever had and the thing that helped him the most, was watching idiotic, arrogant asshole Hosts make fools of themselves and completely self-destruct.

But Ira realized, as the bus got to further and further out of the city and out into the countryside between the two cities, that he wasn't even interested in that anymore. He had barely seen anything of his last Host at all, and this one he couldn't remember the name of. He hadn't so much as glanced at her since they came to this world and he didn't care to either.

He used to watch them fail and relish in it — he'd be filled with a sadistic joy at their comeuppance, at their karma, at the fact that they couldn't succeed because they were fundamentally working against themselves. It was fun and amusing and he would do it when he was bored and even when he wasn't, but he hadn't done it in so long.

Even when he watched messing up there was nothing interesting going on. Even if they were conspiring something, even if they were making fools of themselves, it wasn't interesting to him anymore.

He didn't find joy in them suffering or failing, so much as he was just bored of it now.

What was all this?

When had this happened?

At what point had he started to pay attention to Nylo and Silas more than he did his Host? At what point did he stop caring?

It used to be so much fun, and so entertaining; he could still remember how much he had enjoyed it. He could still trudge up a smidge of that enjoyment when he tried but, he didn't really want to. It wasn't interesting anymore.

He wondered what his boss would say when they found out about this. Doubtlessly, they would be overjoyed and declare that this was a milestone on his road to recovery. Ira could already imagine the delighted look on their face and the hug that would attack him.

He supposed that was just what you got when you had grown up with your boss.

When Ira reached the other city, he got off the bus and stopped for a moment. He looked up at the skyline, at the high-rise buildings all around him reaching far into the skies, as if trying to pierce into the heart of it. He raised his hand to block his eyes from the sun and rocked a little on the balls of his feet. After a moment's pause, he started walking again.

Silas wasn't far away now. He was in the high-rise building not far from the city center, among the topmost floors. The entire exterior of the building was made of glass, and Ira had a moment where he wondered if he was making a mistake. If he should just wait for Silas to come to him. He didn't even think that it would take that long.

But he was impatient. And there was no reason not to.

So he walked right up to the building. Walked right through the front doors and up to the receptionist. Knocking on the table to get her to look at him, he opened his mouth to say something but then fell silent. He frowned and closed his mouth again, ignoring the way that she looked at him in askance.

He didn't know Silas' name. He didn't even know what the man looked like here, much less how to ask for him. Well, that was easy enough to fix.

Concentrating in his mind, Ira searched out the dot on his map that represented Silas and then zoomed in on his location. It was an office, a very void and modernized office, decorated in the minimalist style that was popular now. Everything was black and white, and there was nothing unnecessary, nothing to waste space. Only the bare minimum was present.

And behind the desk sat Silas. The man was doing something on the computer, and he was nearly glaring at it. Ira waited a bit to make sure that he had the right man and then looked around to see if he could find the name somewhere. In the end, he had to zoom out and look at the door to the office, finding the name on the plaque on it.

"I'm here to see Darcy Lowe,” said Ira. The woman's eyes widened, and then she just looked annoyed.

She furrowed her eyebrows and said, "Do you have an appointment?"

"No. Just tell him that Ira is here to see him."

The woman frowned at him and she no longer looked welcoming in the least. That she didn't believe him was plain to see. Ira didn't bother to pretend to care about her sensibilities or valid concerns that he was a lunatic only here to cause a mess and simply said, "I'm here for my promised cuddles. Please tell him that too."

She started. Looked at him like he couldn't believe that he was serious, but it was also an absurd enough reason that it brought her guard down a little. It apparently amused her enough that she actually contacted somebody on the phone.

Ira didn't bother listening to what she was saying. He was much too busy watching as Silas almost seemed to argue with the computer. At one point, he said something to the office phone and then rose to his feet so fast that the chair hit the floor behind him. He looked frantic as he ran around the desk and toward the door, pulling it open so quickly that it banged against the wall, clanging loudly.

The receptionist sounded mystified as she said, "Mr. Lowe is coming down to meet you. Do you need anything while you wait?"

That was a quick change in attitude. Maybe Silas was actually an important person in this company? Well, he had often been important in the sense that he had a powerful background in the missions' worlds so that wasn't really surprising. What was surprising was that Darcy Lowe was never even mentioned in the original story.

Ira decided to simply walk over to the elevator that Silas was descending in. He made a halfhearted attempt to care and quickly glanced at his Host, but she wasn't doing anything interesting so he simply stopped paying attention. Instead, he stared at that dot as it came closer and closer to him, as Silas came closer and closer.

This was the first time that Ira had ever sought out Silas, wasn't it? It made him strangely jittery. But he found that wasn't an entirely bad feeling.

The elevator let out a ding when it reached his floor. The doors opened and Ira was once more face to face with Silas. The man was taller than him again and had a commanding air to him as he stared silently at Ira. For a moment, Silas didn't do anything at all.

Then he took two steps forward and hugged Ira tightly.

Getting his cuddles so easily and so quickly flummoxed him a little and it took a moment for him to react, but when he did, he swiftly hugged Silas back. The man was warm and heavy against him and his soul was familiar. Ira recognized it almost as easily as he could recognize Nylo's soul.

He let himself get dragged into the elevator and watched silently as Silas hit the button. Slowly, they rose higher and higher into the building, their hands still connected.

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