“Hey kiddo, you have some gut. I'll give you that.”
A boy fell onto the ground violently due to being pushed. With a trembling body, he looked up and tried to get away from the men in front of him.
“Heh? So you still fear something. I thought you’d be a mad boy who ain’t afraid of nothing.” A big bearded man said to the boy with an evil smirk on his face.
The boy tried to get up. The laughter followed after but the boy didn’t care about that. He had to get out of here.
He swiftly turned around and tried to run away, but then he was suddenly lifted off the ground. He felt pain on his neck as his shirt’s collar choked him tightly. He struggled to pull his shirt’s collar off and end this suffocating pain, but it was still pointless. His legs waggled as he tried to kick the man behind him.
The man's laughter became louder as he violently threw the boy onto the ground again. The boy yelped out in pain as he gritted his teeth and tried to crawl away. His face was stained with tears and dirt.
“Lisus, stop playing with him and retrieve the goods already.” A rough, man's voice rang out from behind.
The big man, Lisus, looked back and there stood a fat man who dressed like a merchant.
“Sorry boss, I can’t help it. I need to teach this kid a lesson or two, so he won't stray again.” Lisus said with a smirk.
“Hah. How noble of you...” The fat man said in a monotone. “You and I know full well that you’re nothing but a bully.”
“Damn, you know me so well, eh boss? I’m gonna tear up, hehehe..”
Lisus chuckled coldly and walked to the crawling boy on the ground. He crouched down near the boy and pressed the boy’s head against the ground, locking him in his place.
“Don’t think badly of me, kiddo. I actually like a kid like you. It brings back some memories. But you know full well the consequences of your action right?”
The kid didn’t respond. He only struggled to get out, but he couldn’t fight the man’s strength.
“P-Please, s-spare me, sir. I-I have a little sister to feed. I-I’m so sorry for stealing from you..” The boy said with a shaky voice as tears kept pouring out of his eyes.
Lisus, the big man, sighed and shook his head. “Man, that must be tough, eh? I feel you, little man.”
Lisus slowly released the pressure from his hand and lifted his hand up, freeing the boy from his constraint. “Alright, I’ll let you off this time. But promise me, you ain’t doing that ever again. You promise?”
The boy supported his trembling body up and nodded at Lisus meekly. Lisus ruffled the boy’s hair and stood up.
He stepped aside and opened the path for the boy to walk out of the back alley. The fat man didn’t say anything as he stood there watching things calmly.
The boy staggeringly made his way out of the back alley, but then—
“Argg!!” The boy yelped out in pain as he fell onto the ground again. Above him was Lisus with his foot pressed against the boy’s back!
“Hahahaha! You fell for it, kiddo! You really think you'll get away after stealing from me!?” Lisus laughed like a maniac. “Consider it your bad luck, boy. If you were to steal from the other shop then, you might be able to get away with a little beating—but not from my place.”
The boy tried to say something. His mouth kept trembling as he felt like his death was approaching.
He was gonna die, just from stealing a few accessories from these men’s shop…
He knew that stealing was wrong, but it couldn’t be helped since he had to support his little sister and himself.
A metallic sound rang out as Lisus unsheathed his sword. He then pointed the tip of the sword at the boy’s head.
“P-Plese, sir! L-Let me go! P-Please!” The boy cried out in desperation as he struggled to get out.
“Finish him off already.” The fat man said calmly.
Lisus smirked. “Heh, you heard the man. Sorry kiddo, end of the road.”
Lisus raised his sword up high and was about to swing it down, but then—a dagger suddenly rushed past his face and left a shallow cut on his cheek!
The two men were startled by this and looked in the direction the dagger came from.
There—stood a pretty lady who seemed to be in her early twenties. She had short brown hair and the look of a village beauty. Though, her clothes looked quite expensive compared to the normal village beauty.
“Now now, gentlemen. Isn’t this too cruel, bullying a little kid?” She said calmly.
“…..”
There was silence…
Everyone was surprised by the sudden appearance of the woman…
But soon after, Lisus recovered from his surprise and began to chuckle.
Despite the cut on his cheek, Lisus didn’t get angry. Instead, his eyes lit up upon seeing a beauty approaching him.
“Whew~ What do we have here? A daring beauty, eh?” He whistled and said with a smirk.
“My, thanks for the compliment” The woman said with a smile. “Now, if you would, please let that boy go.”
Lisus chuckled. “Hehehehe, yeah, sure. Anything for you, lady~”
He continued to chuckle for a while. “Though, this kid did steal from us, so letting him off that easily would set a bad example to the mad dogs around this area. But, since such a beauty asked for it, then it can’t be helped, huh?”
“My, what a gentleman you are.” The woman giggled. “Very admirable inde-“
“Whoa there, I ain’t finished speaking yet.” Lisus interrupted. “I have no problem letting this kid go, but—there’s gotta be something in exchange right?”
The woman still had a smile on her face. “Right~ So it comes down to this after all, huh?”
“Hehehe~ Look like you understand what I’m talking about, eh? Good good, a smart and beautiful girl like you is just what I like~” Lisus licked his lips as he kept ogling the woman’s body.
Seeing this, the fat man shook his head and sighed. “Hey, stop playing, dumbas-“
Before he could finish his sentence a painful yelp rang out. Lisus’s body flew into the air and landed on the ground with a thud!
He clutched his stomach in pain and gritted his teeth tightly. The fat man was shocked to see this scene.
Every eyes turned toward the woman. She had her right arm stretched forward with her hand made into a fist. Clearly showing that she was the one who sent Lisus flying with a punch just now.
The two men were astonished. How could a frail looking woman have so much strength that she was able to send a big guy flying with a single punch!?
Sure enough, they now realize that this woman wasn’t an ordinary woman. Such things weren’t new in this world with magics and skills. No matter who you are, if you had potential and trained well, you could become powerful.
So was the common sense of this world.
But, seeing such a thing happening for real didn’t really happen everyday. So it was still shocking to the two men who lived in quite a peaceful city.
“Sorry about that. I haven’t phrased my sentences really well.” The woman retracted her hand and smiled. “I wasn’t asking you back then. Rather, I ordered you to do so.”
Lisus’s face went red. “H-How dare you, woman. You dare to d-“
Before Lisus could finish his sentence, a dagger suddenly edged into the ground near his face. He jolted and shut his mouth tightly. His eyes were wide open and his body started to tremble.
Just like before, the lady in front of them had her hand extended forward, indicating that she was the one throwing a dagger just now.
That was so fast!
The two men were now astonished at the woman’s speed. Her strength and speed were far superior to them. They realized that now.
“Now, now, it’s not very nice to yell at a lady like that. Where did the gentleman from before go?” The woman said playfully.
She was way too casual in such a tense situation. Only truly powerful individuals could act like this in this kind of situation.
Although frustrating, the two men instinctively understood that if they valued their lives, they shouldn’t mess with this woman.
Lisus got up with his trembling body while clutching his stomach in pain. He gritted his teeth tightly and glared at the woman.
“J-Just who the hell are you anyway?” Lisus said with gritted teeth.
The woman giggled. “There’s no need for you to know that. Just get out of here now.”
The woman's smile suddenly disappeared and her face turned fierce. She narrowed her eyes and looked at the men threateningly. “Or else…”
The men shivered instinctively as their bodies started to tremble!
How could someone be this intimidating!?
Lisus was genuinely scared despite being a prideful man that he was.
He used to be in a gang when he was younger. He was constantly fighting against other gangs and was more than familiar with the fighting.
He knew that he was a hot blooded man, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew the limit and the boundaries when it came to the people he shouldn’t mess with.
His experience taught him that being prideful would only lead him to doom.
He clenched his fist tightly for a while, but not long after, he released his grip and sighed deeply.
“Let’s go boss.” He said to the fat man without turning to look at him.
The fat man understood the situation. He nodded his head and followed Lisus out of the back alley.
Now, only the woman and the boy remained in the back alley. With his trembling body, the boy turned toward the woman and bowed deeply. “T-Thank you for saving me, big sister.”
The woman looked at the boy and smiled gently. She walked toward him and patted his head. “You’re very welcome. But—you shouldn’t steal like that.”
The boy casted his eyes downward and looked sad. “I-I’m sorry, big sister. B-But I have t-“
“Feed your sister right? I got it.”
The boy meekly nodded his head.
“Look, I know you have a good reason for it. But stealing is still bad. It’s not okay to trouble others no matter what reason you may have, don’t you agree?”
The boy meekly nodded again. The woman’s smile grew wider as she kept patting the boy’s head.
“I save you this time not because I think stealing is okay, but it’s because those guys took it too far. As for supporting your little sister, how about finding a decent job? I know a good place you can work in, how about it?”
The boy looked up at the woman with wide eyes. Then, his eyes started to become watery. “Y-You’ll help me..?”
The woman smiled at the boy gently and ruffled his hair. “Sure.”
The boy suddenly felt the warmth in his heart as tears started running down his cheek. He lowered his head and wiped his tears away as he sniffled constantly.
He was an orphan with no other relatives but his little sister. His parents just died a week ago and he didn’t know what to do. So he stole and pickpocketed to support his little sister and himself.
After a while, he looked up again. His eyes were a little red. “Thank you so much, big sister.”
The woman smiled gently. “You’re welcome.”
The boy smiled as he looked at the woman. He then casted his eyes downward again and seemed reluctant to say something.
“U-Um. M-May I know your name?” The boy looked up at the woman and asked nervously.
He saw how this big sister didn’t want to reveal her identity to those men from earlier, so he was nervous to ask such a question. But he still wanted to know the name of his benefactor.
The woman giggled upon seeing this. “Sure.”
She retracted her hand on the boy’s head and bumped it gently against her chest. “My name’s Ruby. Nice to meet you. You are…”
“Aang! My name’s Aang, big sister Ruby!” The boy said with a smile.
“Aang, huh?” She smiled. “That’s a nice sounding name.”
“Thank you!” The boy said with a blissful smile.
Ruby giggled. “Alright then Aang. Shall we go?”
Aang nodded his head saying, “Hmm!” And started walking toward the alley’s entrance energetically.
“By the way, big sister Ruby. How did you find me?” Anng asked out of curiosity.
“….”
There was no response…
“Big sister Ruby..?” He looked behind him and asked while tilting his head.
Behind him—Ruby stood in her place motionlessly. Her eyes were wide open as she kept staring at Aang.
“B-Big sister Ruby, w-what’s wrong?” Sensing something wasn’t right, Aang asked.
Ruby didn’t respond, but not long after her body started to tremble and tensed up. She clenched her hands tightly as if she was enduring something.
“B-Big s-sister Ruby….” Aang started getting scared as he called out again.
“…..”
There was still no response…
Then—Ruby’s trembling body suddenly stopped shaking. Her wide eyes narrowed down into a slit as it began to turn blood red. Her skin became pale and veins started to appear on her face and neck…
Aang was astonished!
W-What happened!?
“B-Big sister Rub-“
Not to worry sir. I myself am also a professional crastinator.
I picked detail, I really don't care, but some advice I've got (speaking both as an avid reader with too much free time to spend reading, and also as a fellow author) is that, no matter what you're writing, be it fluff or plot, character development or action, don't half-ass it. Put in the details, think about the scene from multiple angles (character PoVs, nonexistent omniscient viewers, etc), even if you're only going to write it from one limited PoV.
If there're details you've thought about that don't make it into the final publication, that's a good thing, it means you have a more complete understanding of the flow of events than you expect the readers to have, want, or need. For my novels, I have literally hundreds of pages of notes, several dozen of which never got used, and sometimes they come in handy down the line. Other times, I just know that a given character is 6'4", and consider that when it comes time for him to fight a 4'6" guy as it means most of his strikes will be mostly vertical, not horizontal sweeps as he tends to use.
Those tiny details allow me to avoid minor plot holes, and because I seed each chapter with a hidden reference or three, I know some of my readers are going to notice that a guy who'd been described as "towering almost a foot above [the 5'6" MC]" was fighting against a guy described as a "subatomic shrimp", so if he used horizontal slashes, I'd have someone notice that that sword would simply go right over his opponent's head and point it out. Because I trained myself to look at those kinds of details, I notice them, and I bet I'm not the only one who slowly builds up dissatisfaction with some novels because the author doesn't think about the fine points, leaving fully immersed readers to feel something's wrong but not understand what is wrong or why it feels wrong - and that will bug them more than a tiny plot hole they do figure out.
Details, details, details, think of them all and decide which the reader needs to know later.
Wouldn't go for a lot of words, since i'm not even some novice author. But i believe writing something you enjoy yourself is good indication. Whatever it's action packed, slice of life or simple fluff. I also think that character interraction is important no matter the story, since they are cogs that set it in motion.
Thanks~ 🙏🏻
Agreed 100%
Haven't read it yet as busy but welcome back weary traveller - pacing can be a big hard to get right in the beginning (technically I'm still suffering from this in my own story) since you want to set out the characters to have them feel real and not suddenly develop emotions and know things that weren't there... But at the same time if you don't add action won't people get bored!
Though, I've found, not really. Not every chapter needs to be raw violence and even just small scenes of training can help to ease that 'itch' plus it offers time for characters to discuss and show their growth all at the same time. Obviously, it's not perfect but finding small loopholes to wet the appetite could work right?
I mean, your story is more popular than me now (not jealous... much) but thought I'd share my thoughts on your problem. The best pace is the pace you decide on and if you feel people are getting a little bit sluggish just throw a little something something in!
The plus side of having adventurous protagonists who love to fight/get stronger is it makes sense for them to go out to seek some fun!
To sum it up - don't be too~ worried about not having enough action as it can always be added in without much thought. After all, even if it's not the right time to have a big plot changing scene that doesn't mean there can't be an epic fight scene right?
But, honestly, as someone else said you kind'a can't forget some details.
Reader needs to understand the characters a little bit and honestly I failed this in my novel in full honesty. My main character was meant to be animalistic due to being a dragon trapped in a human body essentially however I'm also not the type to directly say it so I tried to show it from her perspective of sniffing stuff and showing her lack of understanding at certain 'human' principles...
This was taken as her just being a bit slim witted and perverted though... Of course she is meant to be a pervert just not that soon.
Sometimes it helps to just say what you mean instead of adding a load of details that may not clue in.
I went off topic for a bit but just do you dude. Not like your making money off it so focus on enjoying yourself before anyone else - it may feel bad to say it but you don't owe anyone anything. Take your time, make some regular updates and enjoy writing at your own pace.
Usually your own pace will be the pace that fits your story the best! (Hopefully)
Chapter was a good start to a new arc - bit sad to see no mc but that's just how it works and not like I didn't enjoy some Ruby!
Damn, what an advice!
Thank you so much for taking your time to write these long but meaningful advice. 🙏🏻
———
Before I started writing, I did a lot of research about storytelling and stuffs (Well, I mostly just procrastinated though.😂), so I got a lot of theories in my head about how I should tell my story and hook the readers throughout the journey. And it usually involves suspense, tension, conflict, conflict, and fvcking conflict!
And my story took on a dark route because of it. But for me personally, I love wholesome and lighthearted story. A story like Bofuri where there's no stakes whatsoever and the characters are just having fun.
I love fluffs and character interaction. A fight scene can be refreshing, but if it goes on and on for too long, it'll make me feel tired and overwhelmed.
But for the sake of writing a gripping and exciting story, I kept pushing on along the plot. As I stated before, I always felt the itch to write fluffs and characters interaction but I was afraid that the story would become stale and boring so I moved things along the plot quickly.
Though, after taking a long break, I went and looked at the statistics and found out that chapter 3 had more likes than the others, so I checked it out and found out that that chapter was mostly just characters interactions and fluffs.
I got curious so I went to the forum and made a poll. Now I see why~
I was conflicted at first since some people considered fluffs and wish-fulfillment a bad thing. I was confused, since these two elements supposed to make the readers feel good.
I was conflicted and confused…
And man was I right all along!
Writing at your own pace, I heard something similar from Stephen King's advice. Now that I know what ticks, I'll focus on it and set sail on a super epic adventure!
Let's all go find One Piece together!!
@BlackKnightX Thing about the favourites and bookmarks ect. that you need to remember is... If someone is truly gripped in a story and is reading it in one sitting they won't think to leave one. They'll simply move onto the next chapter.
Truly, it's a worthless statistic; in my mind; to pay attention to. Although nice to have - many won't remember to even use it!
On the other hand, the rate you've f*cking gained readers is explosive despite being your first novel (though I only have once) to the point you managed to cross over the Rising Author title in a flash. You are doing something right so don't worry about it and just go with the flow~♥
As soon as you put too much importance on the numbers the quality goes down - tbh I had a moment where I fell into that but just took the time when I was off on break to just reorganise myself and remember why I was writing.
I want to add a DILF to my stor- I mean enjoy telling a story with characters I love!
Writing really is a journey and we're both at the start so let's just enjoy it~♥
@Basically_God Doing something right, huh? I don’t know, my writing style, maybe?
I was heavily influenced by the writing style of this novel, NEET RECEIVES A DATING SIM GAME LEVELING SYSTEM. Have you ever read it?
Though, it’s a wish-fulfillment story and the mc can be frustrating sometime, but the writing style of this novel is awesome. It feels like watching an anime while reading this.
@BlackKnightX as a female can't say those types of novels really appeal to me - although I'm fine with male protagonists I tend to find the romance somewhat... Unrelatable I guess?
I have enjoyed some but harem tends to be a turn off when it's male to female... Though yaoi, now that's another matter...
@Basically_God Understandable. When you read, you usually imagine yourself as the protagonist. You feel what they feel and experience what they experience. So it’s normal that most women aren’t gonna like the harem story for men, and the same thing can also be said for men as well.
I sometimes watch some shoujo anime with female protagonist and a lot of male romantic interests, and what I found was that, when I watch those type of anime, I usually imagine myself as one of the male romantic interests. So it feels kind of weird when the others male romantic interests get physical with the female mc.
I mentioned NEET RECEIVES A DATING SIM GAME LEVELING SYSTEM because it has an awesome writing style and has influenced my writing a lot.
@BlackKnightX Guess if I want to be inspired by anything it would be Apotheosis of a Demon - god tier novel.
@Basically_God OMG, I freaking love that story! The mc’s personality is just what I like, a badass, yet flawed character. The plot is also amazing and it has such extensive details in the writing, but doesn’t make me feel bored to death. It was freaking awesome!
And… uh… guess I just love bunny girl, ehehehe~
Now, you just make me reminisce about my old memories~ 😌