1st POV
'Why is Saitama here... well it's the City where he lives but... Why is he here?' My thought spoke while sweat starts to flow from my head a little.
"Umm... did we ever meet?" Saitama asked.
'Is he in the middle of his training? How strong has he become? Can he beat Boros now?...' My sweat started flowing faster.
"Umm... hello?" Saitama waved his hand in front of my face.
'More importantly, did he see me transform? No, I think not. Because we already bumped into each other before that happened' My eyes started spinning.
"Hellooo???" Saitama closing the distance of his head with mine.
'If I remember it correctly, he was the sole reason why I reincarnated into this world in the first place. Yea, it's all his fault!' My eyes started spinning even faster.
Saitama scratches his head.
'Which means... there's only one thing that I can do... Yes, only one simple thing... Come on Rena, you can do it! I believe in you!' I made up my mind.
"Ca-..." I stopped for a moment.
"Ca?..." he raised one of his eyebrows.
I take a step back.
Suddenly, I do the 90⁰ bowing style jutsu from my previous world, Then I raised both of my hands where there was a pen and paper already available.
"CA-CA-CAN Y-YOU GIVE ME YO-YO-YOUR AUTOGRAPH PLEASE?!" I screamed while my body shook nonstop with unstoppable sweat coming from it.
"..."
"..."
A moment has passed.
I slowly raised my head to peek at Saitama's face.
"Saitama?..."
"What, so you're my fan? Why didn't you say so earlier..." Saitama slowly picks the pen and paper from my hand then he starts writing something on it.
"Here" Saitama gives the pen and the paper back to my hand.
"Ah..." My shaking hand slowly picks the pen and the paper from Saitama's hand.
"THANK YOU SO MUCTH- AKH!" I bit my tongue.
"akhhhhhh" I let out a silent scream with tears flowing out from my eyes.
"Are you o-"
I then turned back and ran as fast as I could.
"..." Saitama dumbfounded.
'Fan... huh...' Then he smiled.
'Can't believe I have a fan out here... is this the power of being a hero?' His smile turned bigger.
Then he laughed.
'If I beat more monsters, would the number of my fans rise?' Saitama pondered for a moment.
Then he went back to his training.
...
...
"Puah! As I thought, cold water is the best!" I speak after drinking the can of cold water I bought from the vending machine.
"Hey, Rena... about the weak-looking person earlier, who is he? You seem to know him a lot to the point where you would ask for his autograph" Nyan asked me while still in his cat form, licking his paws.
"Hmm? Ah, Saitama? Well... I kinda know him but..." I stopped my drinking for a moment.
'What should I do... should I tell him the truth?...' My thought spoke while sweat starts to flow from my head.
Nyan realized that.
"What are you hesitating for? Rena..." He jumps from my chest and immediately transforms into his true form, standing in front of me.
He then put his hand on my chin then turned my face to his. making us face each other at a close distance.
"What are you hiding? Can you tell me? Aren't we friends?" Nyan asked with a serious gaze.
'Friends...' I pondered.
"As I thought... Sorry, Nyan... even if we're friends... I will still keep this secret until the day I die" I answered Nyan with a serious gaze.
Nyan smiled. Then release his hand from my chin.
"I see... well, every monster has a secret or two that they don't want to talk about. And so do I... that's why don't worry. I wouldn't pry further" Nyan spoke with his hand on his back.
"Thanks... Nyan..." I smiled
...
"FINALLY FOUND YOU TWO! *pant* *pant*" Black Sperm speaks while panting.
"Black Sperm! Where have you been this entire time... also, what's with those bruises" I asked with shocked eyes.
"YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO LEFT ME BEHIND YOU LITTLE SHEETS!" Black Sperm screamed at me and Nyan.
"No, it's not time for that, hey, help me beat her" Black Sperm pointed at his behind.
""Her?"" I and Nyan asked with a curious gaze.
"Finally found you, you disgusting monster. now you can no longer run from me..." a flying little girl with a green aura speaks from afar.
'This voice!' My thought spoke.
"Ah, did you bring your friend? That's nice. Because now I don't need to be tired from looking for all of you one by one" She then spread her hand with her hand glowing green aura.
"Tatsumaki..." I immediately stand up and slowly walk to Black Sperm while unable to hide the excited gaze from my face.
"Well, well, well... what do we have here? are you here to play, little girl? If yes, then let me play with you..." Nyan spoke with his big grin shows on his face. Then he walks and stands beside me.
"Hehe, now what will you do... Hero?" Black Sperm starts to divide himself into many.
"Hmph, no matter how much trash like you gather, trash is still a trash. I can easily beat you all at once. Now come, let's finish this once and for all" The ground began to break apart and starts levitating with a green aura covers them.
Heh, now she can cash in that autograph when he become fam-... oh wait
btw "Umm... do we ever meet?" is either "Umm... have we ever met?" or "Umm... did we ever meet?"
It's past tense so 'do' needs to be as well
Thank you for the correction~
*evil chuckles* so it has begun
Yeah... it has begun...
Girls Love is Coming!! *Wink*
*wink* *wink*
@al.shiro
And me who was hoping for romance with saitama rip.
@Aragan aww
Nuhuhu ~ so it finally begins
Here, I decided to help you out with some grammar for this chapter, it's not everything and I ignored most parts that either weren't completely incorrect or that are repeated mistakes but I hope this helps you improve. I recommend going though it and making sure you don't mix up tenses, most of it is in past tense but there are random switches to present or present continuous which can make it more difficult to read/follow. I am not great at describing specific rules so forgive the poor explanations. Hope this helps
'Why is Saitama here... well it's the City where he lives but... Why he is here...' My thought spoke while sweat starts to flow from my head a little.
'Why he is here' -> 'Why is he here?'
Adding '?' to the two questions instead of or with'...' can help but is more down to how you want it to sound
My sweat starts to flowing faster.
'My sweat starts to flowing faster' -> 'My sweat started flowing faster' past tense and you don't need both 'to' and 'ing', choose one or the other
did he saw me transforming?
'did he saw me transforming?' -> 'did he see me transform?' the verb 'see' here refers to an event that was happening at that moment, the 'did' establishes that the moment was in the past. Confusing to explain but basically declaring that a moment in the past was at the time it happened already in the past doesn't work so 'did' is enough
Because we already bumped into each other before that happen' My eyes start spinning.
'before that happen' My eyes start spinning' -> before that happened' My eyes started spinning' just some past tense
My eyes start spinning more faster.
'My eyes start spinning more faster' -> 'My eyes started spinning even faster' more faster is unnecessary, 'faster' already implies an increase in speed, can just remove 'more', add 'even' for emphasis on said speed or change it to something like 'My eyes started spinning with more speed'
Then I raised both of my hands while there's a pen and paper already available.
'while there's a pen and paper already available' -> 'where there was a pen and paper already available' Might seem nit picky but it is important to realize that what you wrote implies no connection between her hands and the pen/paper, as in she raises them AND (separately) there is pen and paper available. The 'where' changes it to mean that the hands contained the pen/paper
I screamed while my body shaking nonstop with unstoppable sweat coming from it.
'body shaking nonstop' -> 'body shook nonstop' past not continuos
"What, so you're my fan? Why didn't you said it earlier..."
'What, so you're my fan? Why didn't you said it earlier' -> 'What, so you're my fan? Why didn't you say so earlier'
"THANK YOU SO MUCTH- AKH!" I bite my tongue.
'I bite my tongue' -> 'I bit my tongue'
"akhhhhhh" I let out a silent scream with tears flow out from my eyes.
'with tears flow out from my eyes' -> 'with tears flowing out of my eyes' 'let out' already establishes that it happened in the past tense so 'flow' here refers to that event and was happening at the same time as the scream so it is continuous. You can also separate them in which case it would be ' I let out a silent scream. Tears flowed out of my eyes'.
'If I beat more monsters, would my fan will raise?' Saitama pondered for a moment.
'If I beat more monsters, would my fan will raise?' I am confused on what this is supposed to mean. If you mean he will have or fans then 'If I beat more monsters, would the number of my fans rise?'. If you mean fan-base instead of fan then 'If I beat more monsters, would my fan-base grow?'.
Then he goes back for his training.
'Then he goes back for his training' -> 'Then he went back to his training' Past tense obv but the change of 'for' to 'to' changes the meaning. 'for' means he went back <somewhere> to do his training, 'to' means he returned <doing> his training
"Puah! As I tough, cold water is the best!"
tough -> thought
Nyan asked me while he still in his cat form licking his paws.
'Nyan asked me while he still in his cat form licking his paws' -> Nyan asked me while still in his cat form, licking his paws' either add 'was' between 'he ... still' or remove the 'he'. Also add a comma before 'licking' , the event of him licking and asking are separate so there needs to be a pause in between
transforms into his true form then standing in front of me.
'transforms into his true form then standing in front of me' -> 'transforms into his true form, standing in front of me'
what with those bruises"
'what with those bruises' -> 'what's with those bruises'
"YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO LEAVE ME BEHIND YOU LITTLE SHEET!"
'YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO LEAVE ME BEHIND' -> 'YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO LEFT ME BEHIND' 'leave' here would mean they always leave him behind but he is talking about a specific moment so it is 'left'
unsure if this is meant to be an intentional way of speech but he's talking to both of them so it should be 'SHEETS'
I immediately stand up and slowly walk to Black Sperm while can't hide the excited gaze from my face.
'while can't hide the excited gaze from my face' -> 'unable to hide the excited gaze from my face'
"Well, well, well... what do we have here? are you come here to play little girl? If yes, then let me play with you..." Nyan spoke with his big grin shows on his face. Then he walks and stands beside me.
'are you come here to play little girl?' -> 'have you come here to play, little girl?' or 'are you here to play, little girl?' besides simple grammar, the comma is needed to indicate that he is referring to her, rather than referring to what she is doing. As in saying she is a little girl and that she is playing instead of that she is playing at being a little girl
I can easily beat them all at once
she previously spoke in second person (to them, as seen by using 'you' in ' trash like you gather, trash is still a trash') so there is no reason to change to third person. 'I can easily beat you all at once'. It could also work if you made it her inner monologue, separate to her speaking to them.
My gosh! Thx alot mate! I really apreciate it
Favorited if you like the story!
Thanks for the chapter~
Yw~
Hoho
Yeah, indeed... hoho
Wait, your MC is into lolis?
Or is it the loli that will be into her?
"..." Saitama dumbfounded.
Saitama was dumbfounded.
My thought spoke while sweat starts to flow from my head.
I thought while sweat starts to flow from my head.
Nyan realized that.
Nyan noticed that.
what's with those bruises"
what's with those bruises?"
help me beat her" Black Sperm pointed at his behind.
help me beat her!" Black Sperm pointed behind him.
now you can no
Now
'This voice!' My thought spoke.
'This voice!' I thought.
"Ah, did you bring your friend? That's nice. Because now I don't need to be tired from looking for all of you one by one" She then spread her hand with her hand glowing green aura.
"Ah, did you bring your friends? That's nice. Because now I don't need to waste my energy looking for all of you one by one." She then spread her hand that was glowing in a green aura.
Nyan spoke with his big grin shows on his face.
Nyan spoke with his big grin appearing on his face.
"Hmph, no matter how much trash like you gather, trash is still a trash. I can easily beat you all at once. Now come, let's finish this once and for all" The ground began to break apart and starts levitating with a green aura covers them.
"Hmph, no matter how much trash like you gathers, trash is still trash. I can easily beat you all at once. Now come, let's finish this once and for all!" The ground began to break apart and starts levitating while covered in that same green aura.
I forgot what the mc is into when I'm making this fanfic. also, thx again as usual~
No chance against Tatsu