If our map is oriented with the north to the top, then the island of Costa Dulce is a rough G-shape and we're heading down alongside a hill, then a river, to the southwestern tip. 

The approach down the road begins with attempts to keep calm, with light banter and joking about what kind of mess we've found ourselves in, and Sekhmet ribbing me about how the Gods here clearly wanted to correct for my terrible love life IRL. 

Given that they gave me a perfect icebreaker.

"Unlikely," Hikaru said, barely able to keep a straight face. "Sylphan is a god of travel and trickery and expanded horizons, not of love. That would be Eranda or Flamma."

Sekhmet leaned on me for effect. "This is why Flamma in Her wisdom decided to assign me to this problem case as a wingcatte."

"Thanks for your support," I say, rolling my eyes. "It's not like I'm absolutely dying of thirst back home."

"Tell Delvar I don't need this armor for help in that arena," Ace says, rolling her shoulders. "Or if there's a God of Practical Armor And Sensible Shoes, let me know so I can pray to them."

"That's Aurora," Alesha said. 

"Or maybe Scherzo in his less Conan moods?" I suggested.

Hikaru starts to say something, then stops, his finger stroking a nonexistent mustache.

"What's up?" Sekhmet asked.

"I just realized what your armor is, Ace.  And why you kept it, while my mustache is long gone."

"I'll trade you," Ace grumbles.  "Go on."

"Your armor is the canonical costume for temple shieldmaidens to Delvar," he says.

Ace glared at him. "Is Delvar canonically a thirsty motherfucker?"

I waggle my hand in front of my face, then after a second's thought think better of it and nod.

"Fantastic," Ace says. "Sensational."

Sekhmet falls back a little bit, keeping pace with Hikaru, frowning at him. "In other words, it's a thing that exists in the story. It's official. Is that what you're getting at?"

"As is Frankie Bacon's pet miniature Salamander," Hikaru said, nodding.

I frown. "The alky-catte back in town that wasn't stoned out of her gills?"

He nods. "She was feeding it at the victory feast."

"She had complained about not having a labcoat, when I asked her why she was upset," Alesha said, scowling. "Pretty sure it was a deflection but I wasn't going to pry..."

"The Natural Philosophy Dropout glamour set, yes," Hikaru said. "A community workshop item from last Halloween."

I'm not sure what he's driving at. Then Alesha groans and drags her hands down her face.

"It's fan stuff," Alesha says.

I echo Alesha's earlier gesture, and then pinch the bridge of my nose. It's so obvious now, I'm so stupid.

Ace looks at you, then looks at Hikaru, than looks at Alesha, flat-eared and blinking. "What?"

"I'm pretty sure there are mustaches for Pixies..." I say through gritted teeth.  "Just not the Mustache Feelin'. Which means that our missing equipment isn't a nerf; it's removing everything that doesn't exist on Mundus."

"That doesn't canonically exist on Mundus, yes," Hikaru says.

"Why the fuck would they take away shit that doesn't affect our stats?" Sekhmet asks.

Hikaru took a deep breath, and held it, the way I do to stay calm. 

"That's two excellent questions," he says, without elaborating.

So much for joking and banter on the way up.

---

When the trail disappears, Sekhmet starts scouting ahead. 

I'm relieved each time they report back in over the Sendjewel - necessarily in a terse, low murmur, to lessen the chance of it being overheard.

They start leading us through denser wood and jungle, thankfully unseen by the local beasties - those that want to tangle with us, anyway, as I spy one of the enormous crabs scuttling away from us out of the corner of my eye, clearly unwilling to fight. 

We're too high level for it's blood, I think.

It's still tenser than a violin string as we slip by, Alesha cutting away brush with her sword, with only occasional slashes from Sekh's long knives to mark the way. 

Finally, we hear Sekhmet say: 

"Clearing ahead, tree stumps lead to fort and dock on beach. Returning." 

And I sigh relief.

We emerge from the forest on the edge of the sea of stumps. The clearing leads out to a sandbar with a small, makeshift fortress, framed by the setting sun - the reason this patch was clearcut. 

About two stories tall, with sharp tips and a small tower. Lighthouse, I think.  Lookout tower too.

"A couple dinghies just left for the galleon with most of the guards-"

I jump and twist to see the voice behind me belongs to Sekhmet. 

I magnanimously decided not to punch her - them - anyway, a decision that they're lucky didn't take more than half a second.

Sekh raises an eyebrow and tries not to smirk. "- hi, nice to see you too Deeds, meaning we have maybe an hour to clear things out for el caballeros tromping around behind us slowly. We won't be spotted coming in."

"Are they actually knights?" Ace asks.

"Some of them, probably," Alesha says. "Miles Valencia is absolutely a literal knight."

Sekhmet nods. "We are gonna need someone to go in and lower the gate. That could be me but I'd like some backup, I don't want to be up deeps creek without a tank if I can help it."

I walk forward.

"Okay," Sekh says, nonplussed, "can you climb the walls?"

I consider it, thinking for a moment, walking up and looking for footholds and handholds in the rough wood.

Then I remember I'm a fucking anime character now, and crouch, smirking. 

I jump over the palisade wall like I've got wires attached to my girdle, landing in a perfect superhero crouch on the bailey.

Mission status: Sick.

I'm undoing that extra-long sash I wear as a belt as Sekhmet goes "Okay, that works, now throw me a -" 

I drop her the sash, holding it, ready to pull her up with my inflated Vigor score.

"That works too," Sekhmet says, grinning ear to ear.

And then we're in, and Sekh drops down to work on the gate's lock.