Maybe, Maybe Not…
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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and Co.

Last time: Kagome approached the big bed and sluggishly stripped down to her knickers leaving the clothes on the floor for tomorrow. She lifted the corner of the comfy comforter and collapsed onto the sheets. Drawing the bedding over her body, she could no longer keep the heavy lids open, and they gradually closed hauling the worn-out woman to sleep.


 

"I love you." Declared the young man hovering over the lounging female.

At the sound of his words, happiness split her features while tears pooled in her loving gaze. "I love you too." She watched as he leaned in and captured her lips firmly. It felt as if she could fly-Or conquer the world. The teen could not believe that this silver god loved her. Ordinary and plain was what she was, and even so, he stilled chose her above the rest. Praise the Kamigami for small miracles.

He nipped at her puffy lips then soothed the love bites with a swipe of his tongue. Warmth pooled in the juncture of her thighs and a moan escaped allowing him access to slip in his tongue.

Nimble fingers weaved through his silky locks and seized some of the strands while their tongues intertwined doing a rhythmic dance of twisting and twirling. His hand wandered underneath her shirt and began to fondle a confined breast causing a pleasurable moan to sing low in her throat. She tugged at the soft pieces drawing out a groan from the man and spread her legs so he could sidle closer.

His lower half jerked forward rubbing his hardened member against her heated core and drawing out a breathy mew. "Ooooh…" The pleasurable warmth intensified in her loins, and it felt as if she was going to explode from the inside.

Hot breath tickled the shell of her ear while his husky tone sent delicious shivers up and down the teen’s spine. "Love. Let's go upstairs."

She panted heavily with lust filled eyes and bobbled agreeably. "Okay."

The young man pulled away from the woman to stand then quickly swept her into his muscular arms and hurried up the staircase. His lips crashed down on her once more as he paused outside of the room. He released her swollen lips, his golden gaze flashing with a feral air while he opened the door and stepped through the threshold.

Shooting straight up in the bed and breath ragged from the dream, Kagome tugged a shaky hand through her raven mane and swore softly, "Shit." It was the first time in months since she had that specific dream.

“Damn it all!” cried the teenager as she flopped back on the mattress and groaned loudly. 'Why is this happening? I thought the dream was finally gone.' She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Even in her dreams, she can’t escape him. Will she ever get away from the dog demon? It seemed that he would forever curse her with his presence.

Her cheeks puffed with a relieved sigh and thanked the Kamigami that she had woken up when she had. If it would have continued passed the door-oh boy- it would have become rated NC-17 real fast. Color rushed forth when pieces of that night came to mind; Clothes shucked all across the floor, two bodies blended as one, and the sounds of pleasure bouncing off the walls. She chased away the tantalizing thoughts not wanting to remember the bittersweet memories. It hurt too much, and she couldn’t do that to herself again.

Kagome flipped on her side and glanced at the clock to see what time it was. The noisy monster flashed seven o'clock and had the woman panicking. 'Seven.' She thought frantically and scrambled out of bed. "Shit. I'm late!" 

Stumbling to the bathroom to start the shower, Kagome shed out of her knickers, tossing the dirty articles into the basket then fumbled with the knobs. When the temperature was to preference, she climbed in and began to scrub herself clean. She washed in record time and even managed to keep the soap out of her eyes. Oh yeah, she was the best.

Grasping for a towel on the rung, the young mother wrapped it around her body and hurried back to her bedroom to get dress.

Once garbed, Kagome towel-dried her damp hair then hung the wet article to dry before grabbing a brush off the dresser and running it quickly through her tangled locks. She tossed it on the bed and rushed out of the room.

The frazzled teen skidded into the kitchen, hands raised over her head at the sight of her glowering friend. "I know, I know I'm late."

Sango didn’t argue with her statement as she held out a piece of toast and a canned coffee. "Here have this. We need to get going, or we’re going to miss the bus.”

“Thanks,” Quipped Kagome while snatching the items and nibbling on the slice of bread. She then backpedaled in the direction of the entry so they could head out.

Plopping onto the bench, she set down the can and held the toast between her teeth as she bent over to slip on the black loafers. It seemed to be awfully quiet this morning. Normally Sango would have been in the kitchen with her family, but today she was alone. Kagome wondered where her mother and son had run off to.

When done, the curious woman sat back up ripping a corner of the bread and chewed on it slowly before voicing a question. “Do you know where my mom went?"

Handing over a similar messenger bag, Sango started to stroll to the door as she spoke. "The hospital called, I guess your grandfather was refusing to take his medication again. Your ma went to see if she could convince him to cooperate and brought Malakai along. She told me to let you sleep a little longer than usual."

Oh no not again. Her grandfather when lucid was not thrilled to be in the hospital and tended to cause trouble for the poor staff. Those times though were becoming fewer, and soon the old man’s autonomy would be no more. They had hated having to send him to a rest home, but he had started to become combatant, and her mother had been afraid someone would have gotten hurt.

Wishing she wouldn’t have slept later than usual, Kagome had wanted to see her child at least to bid him a good morning and then a farewell. An even better idea, she could have simply stayed home to take care of him and said to hell with school. Her mother most likely would have disagreed with that idea though.

Grudgingly swinging the strap over a shoulder, the schoolgirl followed her friend out of the house locking the door behind them before heading down the stone stairway.

Hopping down the last step, the duo hurried away from the shrine to the closest bus stop.

The city transport pulled up just as they approached and had them scurrying onto the large vehicle, scanning their passes as the pair went about to find an empty spot.

Snagging a seat, Kagome plopped down and swiveled so that her forehead pressed onto the cool glass while watching the bus pull away from the curb. The pit of her stomach twisted with anxiety as it traveled along the busy roadway. She wasn’t sure how today was going to play out or if Sesshōmaru would heed her words. What she did know was that her best friend had no clue what happened last night. Kagome couldn't take it any longer and had to tell the woman next to her. Lifting off the glass, the teen bit her lip nervously then quickly blurted it out. "He kissed me!"

Sango’s brow knitted together and glanced at her confusingly. "Who kissed you? I need a little more info here."

The anxious teen took in a deep breath and braced herself for her friend's reaction. Her fingers twitched and began to play with the flap of the messenger bag. "Sesshōmaru kissed me." She watched as shock overcame the other woman’s features and nearly fell out of her seat.

Sango caught herself then cried aloud drawing attention to the duo. "What!” Face flushing with color when she realized what she had done, the embarrassed teen then ducked her head and lowered her voice. “When? Where? How?"

"You were right. He had followed me to your house then showed himself after we arrived at the shrine." Kagome blew a tuft of hair out of her eyes and continued to toy with the bag.

“So, how did it end up with a kiss?” asked the brunette quietly.

“I said something cheeky about faking certain things, and it wounded his pride enough that he had to prove that I was wrong.”

“This said kiss, how was it?” Sango’s perfect brows danced as she smiled slyly at her friend.

Kagome's cheeks reddened at the memory and released a breathy sigh. “It was…mind stopping.”

Brown eyes sparkled with curiosity, and the teen resumed with the inquiry. “What happened after that?”

"While we were kissing Malakai growled and it seemed to jumpstart my muddled mind causing me to push away. I remember being so angry, I began to yell at him and then the ass had the nerve to demand to see Malakai. I was about to lay into him when my mama interrupted. She grabbed Malakai and hauled him into the house so I could finish my discussion with Sesshōmaru. I told him we had nothing to discuss and to go home and leave it be; to leave us be. I don't know what happened after that. I rushed into the house before he could reply,” stated Kagome running some fingers through her inky hair and slumping against the hard seat.

Sango observed her friend and was struck by how exhausted the teen appeared. She didn’t want to cause more stress but couldn’t stop another question. "Do you think he'll listen?"

The other woman rested the back of her head against the expansive window and stared at the riveted ceiling as she shrugged. “I’m hoping Sesshōmaru will, but the yōkai has set his heart on it. I cannot help but doubt he will back off now that he has seen him.”

Silence descended the pair as their destination came into view causing the brunette to reach up to ring the bell. They stood when the bus stopped and followed others on to the crowded street.

Kagome stepped onto the curb moving off to the side to give the exit wide berth to allow people following behind her to leave. She hiked up the falling strap and took in a couple of deep breaths. 'I can do this. I'm not going to let Sesshōmaru or any other man dictate my path.' The mini pep talk was doing nothing to soothe the budding anxiety.

Sango sidled up to her preoccupied friend and bumped a wary shoulder lightly whispering in case someone decided to eavesdrop. "You okay?"

Was she okay? Not really but what other choice did she have. Life went on even if you were a mess and other things were royally fucked up. "Yeah," Uttered the teen with a brittle smile masking the anxious expression that seconds ago covered her features.

A snort left the brunette and the look she sent her way clearly stated that the teen wasn’t convinced. Sango tried to reassure the best way she knew. “It will all work out and be fine.”

Dropping the faux smile and pouting morosely, Kagome kicked at a rock. “Sure, it will.” She grumbled under her breath and started to trek down the sidewalk towards the school grounds.

“So negative,” Sango pointed out as she caught up with the gloomy woman.

Clucking her tongue, the pessimistic schoolgirl continued to weave through the crowd while she spoke. “My luck has been shitty so what do you expect?”

“How about you say: Hey douchebag, come near me, and I’ll fry your ass.” Joked the brunette and earned a giggle from the other teen.

“Um yeah,” Snickered Kagome. “I’m not sure how well that would go over.”

The duo swiftly crossed the street as Sango barked out cheekily. “I’m guessing not so great, but it would be rather therapeutic.” She laughed some more and hip-bumped the other woman.

Jostled by the contact and almost stumbling into someone, Kagome shook her raven head and responded dryly. “That it would though I’d like not to go to prison for murder.”

Flailing her arms about causing the young mother and a complete stranger to dodge, the other woman brushed off the concept of prison and murder. “So, we think of something less life-altering. My offer still stands.”

Ah yes, the ass kicking. It was tempting, but it would solve nothing. “Once again no,” declined Kagome while passing through the large gate.

“Aw, you’re no fun.” Whined Sango as her shoulder’s slumped and she began to slowly amble up the paved path.

“Yep,” Popping the p, the teen laughed at her friend’s apparent sadness. “I’m a killjoy.”

Scoffing in agreement, Sango snagged an arm and started to drag her up the stairs. “That you are. Now come on, we won’t know what's going to happen until we go inside.”

Kagome said nothing only sneered at the approaching doors and let the pouting woman pull her towards it, dreading each step as they came closer.

+++++

As the day carried on, the teenage mother occupied most of the time by counting the tedious hours until her fifth period. The other half dwelled on the thought of having to deal with Sesshōmaru once more. She wondered if she could simply skip History but realized it wouldn’t go over well with her Parental unit. No, the older woman would have the teen's hide and demand an explanation. Not that her mother wouldn’t have figured it out by now; she was neither stupid nor blind. Plus, anyone could see the two Inuyōkai were related; they were almost mirror images of one another. If it hadn't been for the younger yōkai's dark strands, and lack of markings, they would be identical.

Slowly trudging into the room, Kagome stared at the tops of the white school slippers as she headed towards her designated seat. Tossing the notebook and pen on the tabletop, she plopped down on the hardened plastic and tried to ignore the overbearing man beside her.

The teen kept her unusual eyes on everything other than the Inuyōkai but could feel his gaze burning into her person. Clearly, he wasn’t going to abide by her wishes and leave her alone.

A knot tightened in Kagome’s belly, and it became hard to swallow as the realization of the situation began to sink in. How the hell was he supposed to forget about them if they were in this class every freaking day of the week? Her words last night were for nothing. Damn it! It was never going to work, and he'd never leave them alone. She would be forever haunted by this arrogant Inuyōkai.

Her shoulders slumped while she flicked her gaze to the brunette across the table. The other teen was eyeing her extremely cheerful tablemate warily. ‘What the hell was Miroku up to now?’ Wondered Kagome as she watched the monk smile broadly and fling an arm over her best friend’s upper body.

Sango’s brow twitched in annoyance and quickly shoved the Houshi away. Miroku caught off guard toppled from the chair and onto the floor. The angry woman leaned across the empty seat, fingers gripping the edge and snarled at the dazed man. “What do you think you were doing, Houshi?! Keep your damn hands to yourself!” If looks could kill, well the monk would be dead. Miroku was about to say something when the bell rang, and the Sensei cleared her throat to draw their attention. "Kon’nichiwa minasan.”

An amused giggle sprang from Kagome before turning away from the couple and greeting the teacher along with everyone else. “Ohayo, Sensei!”

Sensei Watanabe smiled largely and bowed to the class before spinning to the smart board to bring up the lesson plan and start that day's lecture.

Flipping open the notebook and snagging the pencil, Kagome started to jot down the information given by the teacher.  Even though notetaking wasn’t her style, she needed something to keep her mind from wandering, since the demon’s overbearing aura skittered across her skin demanding attention. It caused the tiny hairs to stand upright, and her powers to want to flair in return. This response made it harder to concentrate on the words on the screen, and her foot began to tap anxiously against the floorboards. She bit the flesh of her cheek in frustration and continued to ignore the Inuyōkai.

Fruitlessly, the teen tried to keep her mind on the task at hand but seemed to fail miserably. Why were the Kamigami doing this to them? Why couldn't they simply stop playing with her life already? If she were being honest, the blame couldn’t go all to the Gods. Kuso! This mess right now was her fault. She should have just stayed with homeschooling, and Sesshōmaru would never have discovered their child. There would never have been a confrontation, and she would not be sitting here all edgy as hell. For being so young, she had too much stress, and it couldn’t possibly be healthy.

Her attention shifted when a piece of paper slid into view and stopped her from writing. The teen mom didn't bother to look over at the demon but did peer intently at the loose-leaf and read the neat script. 'Do stop fidgeting it is rather annoying.' It stated and Kagome could imagine the demon’s contending tone with each word.

Annoying! Who the hell was he calling annoying? She wasn't the one staring and pushing her aura around demanding notice. Ugh, the nerve of the Inuyōkai! An eye twitched while she scribbled back furiously. 'Annoying?! This is coming from the demon that keeps throwing around his energy and watching me like some stalker. Also, I am not fidgeting.' Sniffing loudly, she slid the paper in between them and watched the sheet move closer to the man.

She heard the scratching of a pen for a second then the paper was placed next to her once again. Kagome eyed their Sensei to see if she had noticed their inattention, but when the woman continued with the lecture, the teen slipped the loose-leaf closer to see the yōkai's comeback. It read, 'How would you know if I was staring or not? You have been avoiding eye contact with me since you walked into this classroom. Afraid of what you might see?'

Afraid of what she might see, not a chance. Especially since there was nothing to perceive in the first place. She scoffed lightly and quickly responded with a flick of her pencil. 'Afraid of what I might see; what would that be?’

Passing the page back, Kagome turned her focus to the teacher and tried to figure out where they were in the lecture. The Sensei was speaking about the early periods of their home country but didn’t specify which year she was referring to. It was hard to distinguish since there were many eras throughout that time; Jomon, Yayoi, Kofun, Asuka. One of them had to be it.

A light tapping on her forearm drew the teen’s attention to the sheet. She peered at the demon’s latest remark, and her heart gave a slight flutter at the implications of his words. ‘I think you know what that would be.’

The fluttering increased as that tiny part of her still held a sliver of hope and wanted to believe the Inuyōkai. Did he mean what she thought he did? Kagome squashed the thought quickly and chastised herself for setting up unrealistic expectations. No. it couldn’t mean that. Not after what had happened between them. He had to be messing with her head because of last night.

‘What I think and what you do are two different things.’ Noted the young mother while she tempered her rampant emotions and watched his black pen scratch across the page.

‘Hn…' was his response and had that twitch returning to her eye when she spied it. Not being able to hide her irritation and huffing loudly, Kagome swiftly wrote underneath the reply then shoved the paper away. 'If that is all you can say, then I am done. Leave me alone.' She could hear him writing back but pretended to pay attention to anything other than him.

The paper hit her limb once more only this time she ignored it. Several other times it nudged at her tan skin before she relented and gazed at the loose-leaf. 'Yes, you made that abundantly clear last night.'

Her pink lips thinned and the anger she had felt last night overshadowed the rampant nerves. Kagome's dainty fingers tightened around the pencil while furiously scribbling back a response. 'Yes, I did, but you're still not getting it. Should I spell it out for you? L-e-a-v-e m-e a-l-o-n-e. You get that now?! Goodbye!' Ignoring the man and the piece of paper between them, the teen returned to the ongoing lecture and proceeded to take notes for the rest of the period.

When the day was finally over, Kagome sat outside the gates of the school waiting for her best friend. Checking her watch for the fifth time, she wondered where Sango had disappeared to since they had made plans to meet here after club activities. What could she possibly be doing?

Her rubbered heel bounced aggressively off the bricks and knew that if the brunette didn’t show up soon that they would miss the next bus home. 'Come on, Sango.' She grumbled silently while glancing at her watch once again.

Kagome turned away from the timepiece when a red sports car pulled up and honked the horn. She recognized the demon and watched as he pulled his designer sunglasses away from his face and rested them on his silver head before smiling brightly. "Hey Wench. You need a ride?"

Shooting the hanyō a glare at the mention of that irritating nickname, the young mother’s dark hair swished all around as she declined the demon’s offer. “No, I’m waiting for Sango.” She thumbed towards the school and continued to kick her heels off the ledge.

Inuyasha snorted in amusement then relayed to the woman on what he knew. “That may be awhile. It seems her and the monk got into some trouble. They have to stay behind and help clean a mess that they made.”

Palming her forehead then moving to pinch the bridge of her nose, Kagome let out a great sigh before laughing out loud. “Seriously what are we going to do with those two?”

“Not a whole lot until Sango gives Miroku a chance.” Inuyasha quipped teasingly and took a swig from a bottle of water.

Sango give Miroku a chance? Yeah right. That would only happen if he stopped being a creepy pervert. “She probably would if he stopped laying it on so thick and the grabbing. That shit needs to stop before Sango will ever consider him dating material.”

“I don’t see that happening. He’s been a little perv since the day I met him.” He shrugged his shoulders and rapidly changed the subject. “Whatever. So, do you need a ride or not?”

She was about to answer the impatient demon when a baritone voice sprang out of nowhere. "That is unnecessary. I will be giving her a ride home."

'Please don't be him. Please Kamigami, do not be Sesshōmaru.' Kagome pleaded even though she knew that it was the Inuyōkai just by that damn silky tone of his. She forced her head in the direction it had come from, pushing down the feeling of dread as she bit at her bottom lip. Her forehead furrowed when she saw a pair of golden eyes watching her then quickly flick to the younger demon. Something flashed in the older yōkai’s stare as he regarded his half-brother, but the schoolgirl couldn’t identify what it had been.

‘What the hell was that?’ She thought curiously and began to bounce her gaze from sibling to sibling.

Inuyasha sneered at his older brother while speaking through clenched teeth. "Why the hell would she want a ride from you?"

"That is none of your business, pup." Sesshōmaru icily countered as he glared at the mouthy yōkai.

Menacingly growling, Inuyasha’s knuckles turned white from his grip on the steering wheel, and it didn’t take too long for him to explode. "Fuck you! It is my business, Asshole, and I'm not a fuckin' pup!"

Paying no heed to the hanyō’s outburst, Sesshōmaru spun away from the pair and began to walk. "Come along little Miko." He called out to her while continuing to make his way towards the parking lot.

Inuyasha flipped the departing man the bird then turned back to his friend. "You know just because you have to be partners with the bastard doesn't mean you have to listen to him. Kagome, you can still ride with me if you want?"

Hopping off the ledge, Kagome smoothed out her pleated skirt before soothing her ruffled friend. "No Inu, it's fine.” She couldn’t believe the bullshit that was coming out of her mouth. “We have to talk about our project anyway." What was wrong with her? He was giving her an out, and she wasn’t taking it. Why wasn’t she taking it?!

He eyed her carefully then glanced to his brother, watching him for a few seconds. The hanyō turned back to the teen and warily questioned her. "You sure?”

The miko started to walk backward while talking to the half-demon. "Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for the offer, but your brother and I really need to start working on a plan for our project. It is a big chunk of our grade after all." She couldn’t stop the lies from spewing forth. Okay, they weren’t lies per se. Well, she did tell Sesshōmaru that he’d be doing the project by himself, so would it be considered a lie then? Ah man, she was all confused.

Kagome spied Inuyasha’s brows shoot up then furrow. He glanced at his sibling one more time before sarcastically responding. "Right…The project. Whatever you say, Wench." He turned away from her and shifted the car into gear, squealing his tires as he pulled away.

Her mouth dropped when she realized that the hanyō was mad at her. Why was he angry? Did he know she was lying? Wonderful. That was all she freaking needed right now.

'I should have taken him up on the ride. What was I thinking?' She scolded herself as she made her way to where the other Inuyōkai was waiting.

The teen was an idiot that's what she was. Why she would agree to go with the yōkai that she was fighting with was beyond her? Kagome stepped into the parking lot and zero in on the demon leaning against his car. He looked so cocky as if he were pleased that she had followed him. It caused the woman to want to grab one of her textbooks out of her bag and toss it at his smug face.

Sesshōmaru straightened as she approached and opened his door. "Get in." He tipped his silver head to the passenger side then slipped inside.

'Kami, he’s such a dick.' Rolling her blue eyes skyward and pushing down the urge to kick at his precious vehicle, Kagome continued to the other side. Yes, it would be satisfying, but then she would have to walk home, and that was not. She quickly opened the door and slid in.

The arrogant Inuyōkai didn’t say a word as he started the engine and whipped out of the parking spot.

Laying an elbow on the door rest and leaning a cheek against the palm of her hand, Kagome stared out the window, watching the scenery fly by.

The vehicle drove smoothly down the busy street while the inside of the cab was silent for a time before Sesshōmaru finally spoke up with a question. "Where was your friend?"

What was with the small talk? It had been going so well with all of the silence. Moving her gaze from landscape to the nosey yōkai, she grudgingly answered his question. "She got in trouble and had to stay late.”

"Hmm…" Was his response as he tapped his clawed fingers against the steering wheel.

The tick Kagome had felt earlier returned but said nothing as her head fell back against the headrest and sighed. It made no sense to keep on arguing with the demon. She has done enough of that already and was starting to feel drained from their interactions.

Not really thinking about what she was doing, the teen reached over and clicked on the radio to try and add a buffer between them. Classical music floated through the air disintegrating the stillness and causing Kagome to snort then giggle while leaning back into her seat. "You're still listening to this stuff."

Sesshōmaru didn't take his eyes off the road as he sharply snapped at the mocking woman. "There is nothing wrong with my selection of music."

"Yeah except my mother listens to this stuff as well," retorted Kagome with an eye roll and a wave of her hand.

"Then it seems your mother has good taste." The yōkai quipped back while stopping at a traffic light.

Another snort erupted from the teen and cheekily joked to the demon. "You call this good taste?"

"Yes" stated Sesshōmaru seriously.

Kagome not wanting to argue over something senseless reached over to change it to a popular radio station. A large hand grasped her tiny wrist and stopped her before she could. The heat of his warm palm seeped into her cool skin and caused her heart to skip several beats. Kagome stared at it for a few seconds before trailing to the owner of said hand.

Sesshōmaru golden eyes flickered from the road and chastised her. "Do not think about changing it."

She snatched her hand out of his hold and sarcastically whined. "Yeah, yeah. I know the "Rules": Do not play with the dials, change the channel, and/or eat in the car. Kamigami, you know it's just a hunk of metal, right?"

"It is no such thing and is a classic masterpiece. Also, my car and my rules." He pointed out, and silence descended the vehicle once more.

Classical played lowly in the background while Kagome went back to staring at the passing surroundings. She may not understand his emotional connection with this inanimate object, and it may seem stupid and useless to her, but he was right, it's his car and rules.

Several minutes went by before the shrine steps came into view and had the teen itching to get out. The vehicle rolled to a stop in front of the steps, and Kagome looked over at the quiet yōkai to thank him. "Thanks for the ride, Sesshōmaru."

Sesshōmaru simply nodded as she reached for the handle and pulled the door open. "Bye." Threw out the teen mom as she scurried onto the pavement and swiftly closed it behind her.

Not looking back, Kagome hurried up the shrine steps only to pause when she reached the top so she could see his car pull away from the curb and eventually out of sight.

Blowing her bangs out of her eyes and digging into her jacket pocket for her house keys, she discovered something among them. It was an intricately folded piece of loose-leaf. Her brow furrowed and she wondered where it had come from.

Opening it, the young mother realized that it was the note between Sesshōmaru and herself. Somehow, he had placed it into her pocket without noticing it. She wasn’t sure if it had been stowed away while in class or in his vehicle.

Kagome scanned the page and read the last thing he wrote. ‘I get it Gome but I left once and I will not make that mistake again.’ Her heart slammed against her ribcage and hands shook as she reread his written words over and over again.

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