"What is that woman's wish?" she asked.

Alberto remained silent, thinking, sighed and continued:

"Be normal, be like other women" he said.

"Emilia, for a long time I believed that I could not blame people like you. I understand that I will never stop having the body of a man, and I understand that that makes me physically different, and yet I never asked for this! I hate every second I'm here, I hate how they see me, I don't care if thanks to this 'I have privileges', I don't want them, if it could be normal I wouldn't mind saying goodbye to them. I never asked to be stronger than cis women, nor did I ask to have a penis. I hate being seen by other women as a man, I hate how I look. And you know what's the worst? I couldn't blame anyone for that, sometimes I just blamed myself, for not being able to continue pretending to be a man My wish was only to be normal. "

He stopped, seemed to want to cry: "Every day, I hated myself, I hated crying for not being a biological woman, I said to myself 'You are crying because of something stupid', I was afraid that they would find me crying. , I decided to have a relaxed attitude and tell stupid jokes to try to fit in, that calmed me down, I waited until night, when sleeping I could cry at ease. Dreaming was the most beautiful thing, there I could be me. I started having 'the dreams ', I realized the hell of trans women, we are not men, we never were, we suffer misogyny, but in a different way from you, every time our behavior was criticized it was nothing but a show of hatred for women, When coming out of the closet, they try to 'fix' you with violence, ours is not a feeling, it is a reality. The last thing we need is for someone out of the pipe to say that ours is 'a performance' and that we do not suffer oppression for it " He said.

He then said: "I knew a very beautiful song in my dreams:

'How long do I have to wait ... to finally be able to find'

'the other half of me, to accompany me to live'

'How much it costs me to live, how much to smile, I can't take off my mask, because I disguise myself as normal' "At that moment she interrupted him.

"Ok, I can't understand you well."

"I guess, in English it doesn't make much sense, besides I'm not a good singer, if one day you return to your world you should find this song as 'El que quiera entender que entienda'"

"I don't think I'll go back"

"Then one day I'll show you that song, I plan to bring some things from my dreams"

"Like what?" she asked.

"AKM is a good option," he said.

"Don't you think that's a lot of technological advancement for this time?" asked Emilia.

"No, the AKM is a simple fireamr, but I plan to use a different cartridge, it will be 7 x 43 mm" said Alberto.

She didn't know what else to say, so she got an idea

"Let's talk about girl things" said Emilia.

"Fine mija, what do we talk about?"

"I don't want to fall into cliches" she said.

"Well, I can't think of anything that doesn't fall into cliches"

"Well, I don't like it though, what is your favorite outfit?"

Alberto looked at her and said: "The 'Baile folkorico' dresses, if I could I would be wearing one" he said.

"Well, do you like boys or girls?" asked Emilia.

"Both" Alberto said.

"I only like girls" she said

"Anyway" she said "Well it's your turn"

Alberto was silent.

He thought about his question for a few seconds, and then he said, "Why did you hate people like me?"

Emilia was silent, she felt a little guilty and her gaze reflected it.

"I thought they were impostors, I thought they didn't suffer from misogyny, and that they were nothing more than profiteers, Autogynephilic, and simple perverts, I ... I'm sorry."

Alberto looked at her and said: "Well, I don't forgive you, but if you continue on this path, maybe I will, I don't know how you see us, sometimes you recognize us as women, but sometimes you want to exclude us again"

"Sorry about that, society ..."

"Do not blame society for your mistakes, each one is an individual, you are free to do what you want, but you did things that hurt others"

"It's not easy for me to change my mind"

"I know, but those ideas affect you now," Alberto said.

"Albert, the reason why I get to exclude them is because I am also excluding myself now" said Emilia.

"Emilia, don't be brute, you will always be a woman"

"I want to believe it, but I can't, I just know that deep down we are women, but the outside is something else" said Emilia.

Alberto looked slightly annoyed.

"Well, since it seems that there will be no more progress today, how about sleeping at my house? Unless you want to go back to Jose's father's house" said Alberto.

Definitely Emilia did not want to know more about that man for today.

She agreed to go with Alberto to her house.

---

They both arrived at Alberto's house.

It was a small two-story house located in the suburbs of the District.

"Enter Emilia" said Alberto.

His house was quite simple.

The walls were painted white, the walls were concrete, there were some simple spotlights, it was a house belonging to someone from the lower middle class in Mexico.

"Welcome to this place that I call home" Alberto said "I have a bed here" Alberto said opening his room.

"Just one?" Emilia said, she still didn't want to share a bed with Alberto.

"I understand your discomfort, today I am not going to sleep, I will be working on recreating the AKM, I will take it to the Secretary of National Defense when I finish it, I must also choose a name, I cannot call it 'Avtomat Kalashnikova', it is a Too bad, 'AK' sounds so good, I'll try to make his name sound good here "said Alberto.

Emilia went to the bed, the blankets were of a quality slightly higher than those of the barracks.

In her entire life, Emilia had never been more confused than now.

A part of her wanted to fall asleep and not wake up.