Aiden

It takes an incredible effort to get out of bed and go to work. It seems terribly cold outside, and I tremble under my coat.

But at work, it’s no better. There I have to see this Sean and ask myself over and over again – what was (and is) between him and Jack?

I had no idea about anything. Sean seemed to be a good guy, funny. I drew his portrait once. And now I pretend that he does not exist. Am I acting like a brat?

Well, yes. But I can't do it any other way.

I can't help but compare myself to him. Sean is older than me – both in appearance and in behavior.

Maybe he is more handsome. He probably suits Jack better.

So why did Jack come to see me then?

Maybe they are not exclusive or something like that? And Jack decided to date me too?

In my mind, the image of Jack is constantly changing – from repentant to insidious. And each time his actions completely change color. And it drives me crazy.

I don't know what to believe.

Every night I hear Jack's voice over and over again, as he says to me "I'm sorry" – so heartfelt and sincere. And I want to believe him. And it hurts me that I can't hold back my tears...

What day is it? The third? Fourth?

I go to work again. Sean at the counter follows me with his eyes, he seems to be waiting all the time for me to speak to him, but I can't get over myself.

After the shift, while I change in the locker room, he comes up to me. I want to hide inside the locker.

I continue to ignore Sean until he comes close.

“How long will you pretend that I am a ghost?” He asks.

“I don’t,” I say.

Sean curls his lips.

“Listen, I don’t know what you were thinking... Or what was between you and Jack... But I can’t take it anymore,” he glances at me. “About Jack...”

I try to interrupt him, but he stops me:

“Yeah, yeah, wait, I know this is none of my business, but just listen to me, okay? Jack did not tell me what had happened, but from what I saw, I understand he is terribly repentant. And he feels very bad, and he feels guilty as hell. I am not try to convince you or anything. I just thought you should know about it.”

“And who are you to him?” I blurt out.

“Well, now I'm just a friend. But yes, we were together... in a past life. Just kidding, a couple of years ago. I broke up with him, then I wanted to return, but the place was already taken. By you. You, of course! Who else? Jack is a good guy. He can do stupid things, but not out of spite. That's for sure. I'm jealous like a demon, of course, but I want him to be happy. And if you can give him even the tiniest chance, then do it. And with that I stop prying into someone else's personal life.”

Sean steps back and walks out of the locker room. Thoughts remain with me. Of course, his words that he and Jack were once a couple, and in addition the fact that it was him who dumped Jack, give me some new suspicions.

But... feelings catch on to other words...

... "he is terribly repentant" ...

... "he feels very bad" ...

Back home, I find a piece of paper with Jack's phone. I look at the numbers for a long time.

I’ll hear his voice... I have to think about what I want to say.

I can't say that I am ready to forgive him... but I... I would like to talk to him again.

As if I want him to convince me, to destroy my doubts. To do something to win my trust back. I really want to. But I can't do it myself.

I'm dialing the number. After a few rings, his muffled voice is heard in the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Jack? Um... It's me, Aiden.” I'm a little lost with excitement. “I thought that... last time... Damn... I don't know why I call.” I smirk bitterly and want to hang up.

“Aiden, wait, don't hang up, please. I... I'm so glad you called. “

There's a long pause, and I feel embarrassed but keep standing with the phone pressed to my ear.

“Do you want to talk?” Jack asks softly.

“... yes.” I try to sound firm. “But not over the phone.”

“Now?”

“It's pretty late.”

“I can come.”

I want to say yes, but I hold back.

“Let's meet tomorrow after four, I'll call you.”

“Okay.”

I am ending the conversation because it is tempting to talk to him some more. But now I at least try to be careful...