I sit back down on the couch, Juniper is so close that I can feel her breath on my neck.
“It’s not really an interesting story though…”
“No, I want to hear it Juniper.”
“O-Okay… When I was still a little girl, me and my family still lived in Russia. My dad owned a small convenience store, my older brother helped him with the finances and me and mom would take care of the house. We lived relatively frugal, we didn’t have a lot, but it was enough for us…”
She’s retelling her memories with a nostalgic smile, which slowly turns into a melancholic frown:
“But that didn’t last forever… When I just turned 16, my dad, one day… one day he couldn’t afford the protection fee for his convenience store anymore, he asked for a postponement, but they didn’t agree… *SNIFF* They thought it was a better idea to make an example out of him… They shot my dad, 8 times… And do you want to know what’s really stupid? *SNIFF* He couldn’t afford the protection fee that month because he wanted to buy a cake for my birthday… A birthday cake…”
I knew she must have had a difficult childhood, with the immigration and such, but I didn’t expect she already suffered so much in her home country. In comparison, I only have good memories of my time back home…
I can only hold her close to me right now… But to my surprise her story didn’t end there.
“The police didn’t investigate the case at all, since my dad wasn’t a bureaucrat or a Machia, much to the infuriation of my brother…”
That sure is relatable, the government only interferes when the public makes a big fuss or when they are pressured by a strong guild… The people became numb to murder, public order was only upheld by the fear of powerful Machia and a common enemy: the fiends that spewed out from the towers. The judicial system is a joke, corrupt enough to probably even free Hitler if he gave them enough U-Coins… Well, that did make killing Thompson easier for me though….
“Even though my mother used all her strength to stop my brother, he couldn’t contain his anger anymore and decided to take revenge on the gang that was extorting our neighborhood… *SNIFF* Six days later we received his decapitated head in the mail... He… He was only 18… My mom was scared that they would come after us, so she sold the store to our neighbors and we fled the country.”
She starts sobbing after telling her story, but she does look more relieved, I’m not quite sure what to say right now, so I just hold her… We stay like that for half an hour or so.
“I-I’m sorry that you had to see me like that Reo, but I’m glad I could finally tell someone about my story…”
“Don’t be sorry, that took a lot of courage. I know what it’s like to lose family, it’s something that you’ll always carry with you… I… I can’t take back what I did though, I’m sorry if it resurfaced any bad memories…”
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t make the decision lightly, my mom never blamed my brother for wanting revenge, she said that she understood his emotions. I’ve also been thinking more about it lately… I was a bit naïve. For example, I’m also unsure if could stop myself from killing a person if I was protecting someone I really care about.”
She lovingly stared at me when she said those last couple of words… D-Does she mean me?
“I would love to meet your mom sometime, she seems like a strong woman.”
“Yeah, I would like that too…”
Now that the mood was a little lighter, I noticed that I was still hugging Juniper.
“O-Oh, sorry, I’ll let go now ha-ha.”
“D-Don’t…”
She grabs my arms and puts them back around her.
I can see where this is going… While I’m excited for it, something doesn’t feel quite right, is it really okay to do this? My feelings are a mess right now…
“Look Juniper, I really like you, but I’m not sure that now is the best time.”
She playfully punches me on the chest.
“Oh come on, you’re overthinking it. Since when is it so wrong for two consenting adults to comfort each other? It’s rude to let the lady make the first move you know~”
She’s right, since when have I been so serious about this stuff? Let’s just have some fun.
“He-He, you asked for it.”
“Hiiii!”
I immediately picked her up and carried her to her room, after which I threw her on the bed.
“I’ve been waiting for this ever since I groped those beautiful breasts of yours.”
“I… I also wanted us to continue that. But you kept me waiting for so long… Mwhaahh, I won’t let you sleep tonight!”
After hearing those words, I couldn’t contain myself anymore and dove in. Thank you for the meal!
God, Juniper’s bed somehow slept 10x better than my own, or well, it could be because of the beauty who slept next to me. Surprisingly, she was still a virgin, looks like all that teasing was just an act. Suffice to say, she didn’t keep up for the entire night, but I still enjoyed it.
She really looks like a goddess when she’s sleeping, so peaceful. I decided to quietly make my way to the kitchen, I don’t want to wake her up, and I don’t want Sara to see me coming out of Juniper’s room.
Suddenly Juniper pokes her head out from her room in a panic, she darts her eyes around, but looks relieved when she finally finds me sitting at the dinner table. How cute, did she think I might have left her in the morning or something, did she forget I live in the same dorm?
After a longer time than usual, Juniper finally exits her room, looks like she put a lot of effort into her clothing and make-up.
“You look beautiful Juniper.”
“Really? Hehe…”
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Well that's disappointing... I prefer stories that don't shie away from the s*x scenes when it goes there.
Its a major reason I enjoyed "blue core" so much...
But disappointed by the fade to black, but oh well.
Unfortunatly not that experienced in writing H-scene haha
@Niku20 Not sure how you get practice without writing them, but whatever works for you.
Thanks for the chapter
Not only was the s*x scene skipped, there wasn’t even any build up, and teasing or conversation, they didn’t even friggin kiss. There was far more that could have been done without getting explicit. And without even trying it will always stay that way.
On a different note. Poor people don’t purchase pre-made food (cake is cheap as sh*t and easy to make yourself depending on how fancy you want to get), and people living with their families lives on the line from gangs don’t take any chances. (at least not without some other extreme reasons like severe debt or gambling addiction, drug or alcohol abuse and so on)
This is the end of the road for me, I’m bailing out here. The story reads too much like an immature anime gag, and the main character feels like a young edgy teen, not someone who’s 21, a programmer, living and working on his own, who’s been through hardships and had to leave his home…
Yeah, i was a bit akward writing these s*x scenes in the beginning, it does get a bit more explicit further on in the story though.
Plus fathers will always want to spoil their daughters, no matter the financial situation. A fancy expensive store-bought cake was just a way to express how much he cared about her, you know, make her feel special on her birthday. It wasn't the smartest decision sure, but he didn't sacrifice his life for a cake, he had no idea the gang would make an example out of him, thinking logically, the gang would be better off with him alive so they could milk him for protection fees.
Probably can't really change your opinion though, i don't really understand how you ended up with 'young edgy teen' . MC is far from edgy and definitly has his mature moments. He has been through tough times, but that doesn't necessarily make him depressed or mad at the world, he tries to make the most out of it and press forward while smiling (although eventually he'll have to face his painfull past and learn from it later on in the story.)
I’m glad the s*x scenes improve. They’re a meaningful part of a romance novel, even without being graphic. It may be worth touching up earlier chapters to hook more readers at some point.
Maybe the cake thing is a personal outlook thing for me. Firstly only my mother would make a cake. Secondly her spending time to make a cake would be worth more to me than buying one. Thirdly, a homemade cake while not as decorative or colourful would absolutely be of higher quality and taste better. (That probably plays a role in it being worth more to me but kids do tend to like colours and not care about taste so long as sugar is involved.)
The father’s actions towards the gang are still gambling with his life and possibly his family’s. He takes the initiative and control out of his own hands and actively gives it to a gang. Logically the gang simply wasn’t short on money and wanted more control of the area.
My primary issue with the whole gang death by cake scene is that with it not being very believable (perhaps just to me), it turns the girls backstory into a weird gag that’s not funny. There’s a few cliche/gag scenes where I’m not sure if they’re supposed to be serious or funny.
By “edgy” I meant it in a more literal unpolished and unstable sort of sense than depressed emo. The only mature calm moments I noticed was him handing over one of the things he won to help pay for that guy’s sister’s schooling, talking with the first roommate’s parents and a heart to heart talk with his second roommate. And yeah tough times don’t necessarily make you depressed unless they break you, wasn’t trying to imply that, but they should make you calmer and more careful with your outlook and actions. (more mature) The MC doesn’t seem to have a careful bone in his body, he acts first and thinks later.
Don’t let my wingeing hold you back. You do your thing and by the sounds of it you’re growing as a writer. So hats off and best wishes.
thanks for the chapter.
Uhh are we gonna ignore the wind slash to the back? I thought he was going to Juniper for healing. Also you may wanna edit that birthday cake thing and make it something more reasonably expensive. It doesnt make sense that a convenience store owner that cant afford a cake. I mean doesnt he sell all the ingredients as well as possibly the finished product?