"Hello, handsome." I'm being carried by a knight, while wearing a princess dress. 

"Filia?" Scott! Yep, it's definitely not real. All aboard the Filia lovey dovey train!

"In the flesh." I try to sound cute. I can't stop what's coming and we've established, I like him. He's cute. And this train can't be stopped.

"Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"What are you talking about, Mr Knight in Shining Armour?" I put a finger on his chest plate and giggle. This dream is fun. I just wish his helmet would come down so I could see his blushy face. 

"Wha?" Dream Scott sounds confused

"You're cute when confused." He needs to be up to speed! The distant sound of metal clanging against rocks is a little concerning though. And my head is starting to get less fuzzy.

"Scott, is she in there?" Summer's voice bounces around the stone walls of the castle. Please don't be real. What can I remember?

"Yeah, but she seems out of it. She's calling me cute." So this isn't normal for him. A wizard blew powder in my face. Summer is here and we aren't failing the bechdel test. Abort mission. Snap out of it. Kiss boys later.

"Let's switch. You lead, I'll get Filia out of here." My stomach grumbles. I'm just loopy! This is bad.

"Good idea. She'll probably feel safer with a girl." He sees me as a girl! I need to be more careful, but that makes my heart do a thing. 

Knight Scott hands me over to a knight adorned with a black cloth draped over her shoulder. Probably Summer. What happened to their suits?

"Make sure she gets out safely. I'm calling in the Thorny Devil." Scott runs to the fight probably looking incredibly dashing while doing it. The bastard. Not that I am allowed to watch, Summer is to busy getting me out of here.

"Right!" She waves him off and looks around. Her head darts from side to side.

"Summer?"

"Yes, Filia."

"This isn't a dream is it?"

"No, it's not."

"Shit."

"We'll worry about what you said when you're safe."

"I should help!"

"You are already morphed, and if you went back and forth to get your suit back I think it would be worse." Oh, yeah. My stomach sinks. This isn't my real body. I can't just morph like them. It's a stupid thing to feel bummed about. 

Summer smashes a window. The second story's windows hadn't been reinforced with magic. Maybe. That or even as a superhero I am super weak.

"Hold tight, Fi." I do as she asks as she jumps out the window. A purple light catches us and whisks us back to the command center.

"Thank the power you're okay!" Kepler says from behind a stretcher. Did they think I'd be hurt?

"Do you want to unmorph, Filia?" A shiver goes down my spine. The idea of going back to my body makes me sick. I can't deal with the retching or stumbling. I'm already embarassed enough without having to go back to that thing.

"No!" My voice came out desperate. What will happen to this dress if I unmorph? I'll probably never see it again. Why is that what I'm concerned about? "Not yet. What if the others come back?" I try to steady my voice, it doesn't sound very convincing. 

"We can hide you?" 

"If I unmorph now I'll throw up."

Summer runs off to rejoin the fight. The bunker doors below open up as she pilots the Magpie mech into the fight. All while I sat in an infirmary bed and ate biscuits. So much for being a hero.

I hoped I could jump in at the last minute and help out. So I wasn't just the damsel in distress. The others had another idea though.

They were back half an hour later.

Summer comes in carrying my spandex. My weapons and everything are all still intact. Thank goodness, I can keep the dress. 

"Good job on breaking his hand earlier." Breaking his hand and stealing my morpher back was a blur. Summer's just trying to cheer me up. It can't have been that helpful.

"No problem I guess."

"It exposed his body, and we were able finish him off. Break the armour, attack the body. Thank's for figuring it out."

Footsteps echo from the corridor, Summer was let in because she had the suit, I presume, the others were probably in some briefing. 

"I've gotta go." My morpher is still hot. Maybe I've over used it. Maybe it doesn't want me to turn back. "Release." I whisper.

My eyes can't stay open through the process, but I feel my body dissolve into an unpleasant mix of awkward proportions, anxiety and extreme exhaustion. When I finally open my eyes. I'm at home.

--

"Odd scenes today down at the Youth Center as it got an unexpected renovation, courtesy of Loch and his henchman. I'm here with Ernie, the owner of the center. What happened here today, Ernie?" Dad watches the news from the kitchen as he cooks tea. I on the other hand curl up in a ball on the couch.

"Well, Stella, I evacuated all of the patrons when the Anemobot's flooded in and then the whole place turned into a castle! Before I knew it there were two extra stories and a tower added on to it!"

"Will the youth center be opening again anytime soon?" The reporter asks.

"We lost power to the building when the monster did it's growing thing so, probably not. On the brightside, we will be checking with the council to see if these renovations are up to code. Everything seems stable enough, especially for something so hastily built!"

"That's wonderful to hear Ernie. Do you have any information on the girl who was captured by Loch?"

A camera happened to catch the moment I was pulled out of the castle.

"No, never seen her before." Ernie lies, saving my skin. Maybe he doesn't recognise me, maybe he's bluffing. Either way I appreciate it

Dad looks at me with pity. Or worry? As he cooks dinner.

"Where were you last night, Ryan?" My stomach sinks.

"I was at Scott's." I respond flatly.

"He said you didn't show."

"What?"

"He called the house and came by in the morning to check on you. Son, please, be honest, where were you?" His voice is gentle, yet firm. I'd hoped Scott would just forget about inviting me. 

"I was at the youth center."

"Ryan." His voice is more stern. How am I meant to respond? Tell him I was a girl? That I stopped existing for a night?

In the background I hear the reporter talking about the Mech fight that ensued after I left. The Thorny Devil was able to pierce the carapace while the other rangers messed with its illusions. Or something like that.

"Ryan, where were you?"

"I was at a friend's house."

"Scott already said you weren't --"

"A different friend! A girl friend."

"So are you dating this girl?"

"No." 

"Okay, so why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." Would he even get it if I did tell him the truth? I was pretending to be some lovesick teenage girl, in love with her best friend. It's ridiculous! In this body, no one would believe I could be a girl. He'd probably throw me out. 

"Okay." I sit quietly for a while as more footage plays. He wants to ask me something. I know it, but I don't have an answer. "Were you at the Youth Center today?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah, we met up there after the sleepovers."

"Okay and are you hurt?"

"No Dad."

"That's all that matters. Please just be honest with me when you are leaving the house. I've been worried sick with these monsters showing up. You can tell me anything else on your own time."

"Thanks."

"Breakfast for dinner sound good?" Bacon and eggs wouldn't be too long to make or eat. Then I can curl up in a ball and wait for the sun to die.

"Sure."

My eyes lock on to the tv. Another person had caught Summer taking me from the second story window. Fantastic more footage of a girl who doesn't exist.

"Huh, she looks like me at your age." Dad says from the kitchen. He hasn't stopped checking the tv? That has to be a safety hazard when cooking. “Do you know her?”

"Yeah right, and no, I’ve never met her." The TV blabbers on about finding the girl's family and making sure she's okay. They probably just want a scoop. Guess I shouldn't turn into Filia again any time soon. Not that I should anyway. It might not be healthy to be changing this often.

"Dinner's ready, Ryan." My name sounds odd. Only a day of mostly being Filia and I forget my own name. 

I plate my food silently, maybe taking more than usual. They fed me something at the command centre but it wasn't enough. Dad keeps putting food on to my plate when I finish what's there. 

Dinner passes by silently. The news moves on from the fight at the youth centre and I go to my room. Showering is too much effort and seeing my awkward teenage body is off the table. Morphing is messing with my head. Seeing the scrawny twisted thing I call a body is too much. I didn't like my body before and being a better version of me for two days didn't help.

My bed is comfortable at least. I form a cocoon with my blankets and curl up. This is safe. Under here my body just doesn't exist. I can just float in the warm. My phone buzzes in my pocket, interrupting my wallowing.

Scott: You alright? I couldn't find you after what happened at the youth center.

The idea of talking to him after earlier is distinctly unappealing. Why he was worried I don't know, he rescued me twice for goodness sake. My phone starts ringing, some jaunty superhero tune. I need to change it.

"Hey, Ryan. Did you get my message?"

"Yeah sorry, I was just about to respond, bro. I promise." I try to sound less rattled than I am about earlier.

"Sorry for calling. Just hadn't heard from you."

"Yeah sorry. I did the heroic thing while you were off saving people and ran for the hills." 

"I'm just glad you're okay. You didn't look well." My heart jumps. His voice is so damn honest. Why does he care about me?

"I promise. I'm fine, mate." My voice comes out shaky.

"Are you sure? It feels like you've been avoiding me lately." I've been hanging out with him. Just as a girl… Not me. I need to make a decision at some point, do I just give up being Filia, or tell everyone my morpher is broken. 

"I promise I haven't! Things just keep getting in the way!"

"So you don't think of me differently?" Do I? He changed a lot. And thinking of him as a guy made all those heart pangs from before he changed that much more intense. I could lie. But maybe he needs to know I see him as a guy.

"I guess I do."

"That makes sense. I'm so--" he interjects. 

"Not in a bad way! I just think of you as a guy." I need to control the mushy feelings. "I mean I always thought of you as a brother from another mother." I'm digging this whole deeper and deeper, but this is how guys talk. And we are both guys. "Let's hang out soon. I'm sorry we haven't hung out much since you transformed."

"It's okay. Yeah, let's watch some movies or something soon. How about this weekend?"

"Sure!" My brain takes a second to process why that might be a bad idea. Just me and him. Alone. Together.