Thinking about state of affairs later in his tent, that they had put up in Nowell, the King suddenly found the maiden that didn't speak, was staring at him in sadness. He wondered in surprise to how she could just come into a King's tent like that!?

Was that her speciality? He thought. Disappearing and appearing whenever she wants too!

…And then he wanted to know why she looked so sad…

She heard him, even though a word was not spoken, and silently told him it was his own thoughts that made her sad and her self-hatred for not being able to save the child. It isn't something she could easily forget, as the child's mother was now suffering because of it.

All the problems he was thinking about and how eager he was to fix them all, made her pity him. She has tried to stop the suffering of the people for so long and here he was trying to make things better in a human's life span.

In over a thousand years, nothing has changed, the humans still suffer and here he was so enthusiastic about it…She wondered if she should tell him not to bother.

Instead, she found herself kneeling in front of him, wishing him all the best in his mission. She was not just sad though, because his enthusiasm to help people made her happy. It let her know that she was not the only one helping the people after all…

King Richard was amazed how heart felt her face and kneeling was to him. It was sincere and to find such innocence these days was hardly heard of…

He knelt beside her, asking her what she is trying to say. Of course, though, she doesn't say anything or move.

She's become a statue...He thinks.

 

Then King Richard sighs, annoyed that she didn't speak. "Is it that you want to join me?"

Her nod surprised him and herself. This is not something she normally does but he does give her questions that she wanted answers to, such as why does he dream about the past, when he wasn't even there? And why do his actions get to her?

There had been a very little number of humans till now that made her feel curious to the extent of staying with them…If only for a short while.

She knew very well that questions weren't a direction she wanted to take, but accepting this proposal feels like the right thing to do right now.

"I prefer it if you didn't become a soldier, even though I've seen your...” The King sighed, then continued, “Ten years ago, you tied up the person who tried to kill me, didn't you?"

He was close to her now, he could smell her. She needs a bath! He thought.

She nodded, confused on what he was thinking. Although he was right, that she hadn't had a bath in a long time, but she hadn't seen the need to have one.

I won't get sick and I don't stay near people for them to get sick, she thought defensively. Why does he care so much that I should be clean!? And…Why is it that I feel like we aren’t talking about something important!?

"But then..." He put his hands through her dirty hair, seeing her flinch and his hands stopped shortly after because of knots. "You ran away. I had worried over you. I wanted to know if you had gotten an antidote in time. I didn't want to think you would have died because of me...But now, that I see you are unharmed, I'm grateful. Thank you for saving my life."

 

His close contact was scary to her, which wasn't an emotion that she was used to. Was it because I think he would continue to chase me? Even if that is so, why would that scare me, she thought, angry with herself.

Being a God, there wasn't anything to be scared about, but why him?

…It must be because I'm not used to being touched by others…

He lifted her head with his hand, so to look at her in the eyes, and said, "You look the same as then too...How old are you?"

Her eyes looked wide but gave nothing away. Ten years ago, he had thought of her as a mere child, but now, she looked all woman. How could that happen when she hasn't changed!? Was it because I’d known her then, and now that time has gone by…

The King was quite confused, seeing her young face and thinking these strange thoughts…Yet, he wasn’t confused for long, as not only the question he just asked resurfaced in his mind, but that of her lips…Her lips taunted him, and he suddenly wanted to own them.

"Thirty years?" He asked, as he trailed his thumb over her lips. They were soft to touch, and he wondered what they would taste like. He was a loyal man, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t lusted before, as he was indeed still…A man.

He knew that the Queen had gone to lengths to keep him away from other women, but it hadn’t mattered too much, as he hadn’t lusted for a woman enough to take one, in which he knew he had the power too.

He was always so busy, so he thought it would be more unwanted drama to take another woman and that if he really couldn’t hold his desires in, he could have a cold shower or even go to lengths of seeing his sly Queen. But…At this moment, the King had found that the lust he had for this maiden, was quite hard to fight against!

 

Thirty years is such a brief time, Mahnu was thinking, trying not to listen to his ridiculous thoughts.

She felt his lust for her and knew it was indeed something strong, making her feel weird in return. It wasn’t like she had never felt the lust that someone had for another, it was strange because…This overpowering feeling, was for her…Only for her…

She could safely say…That this was the first time that someone lusted after her so much that they could hardly keep it in!

Forgetting the conversation, as she stared back, he brought her face to his and kissed her. He heard her sharp intake of breath but continued anyway.

He had never lost himself to a woman, never. Yet, kissing this maiden, had made him feel more then what the Queen had in twelve long years. She was dirty, had a smell that wasn't of flowers, clothes that didn't benefit her figure at all. And yet, he desired her.

That’s right, the King admitted to his thoughts and feelings straight away…That he wanted this maiden. He wanted to taste her lips and now wanted more…He could hardly believe it, yet, he was unable to deny it!

When she shook her head, parting them, he wanted to pout, totally unsatisfied. His excitement just to kiss her, totally astonished him. What would it be like to be with her in his bed? As he thought about it, he had never felt such a throb of desired passion before. His groan was pure evidence that the King was losing control to his thoughts…

The spell had been broken though, and Mahnu blinked, trying to take control again. It was like something had flown into her chest and started fluttering about franticly! A human not only touched her...But kissed her!

Mahnu was...Speechless! Remembering thoughts of women in the past about their first kiss, Mahnu could only feel embarrassed. Is this what they were feeling too? She wondered.

A blush slowly formed on her cheeks and she could feel her face grow hot…It wasn’t a feeling she was used to!

Back when she was first introduced to romance and sexual desires from people, she had indeed blushed, but…Over a thousand years, it didn’t faze her anymore…

Now…She felt it grow over her entire face and it was hard to not cover herself immediately to her embarrassment!

 

The moments ticked by and he saw that she bowed her head again and silently thanked her as he cooled his own thoughts.

What am I doing? He asked himself.

As he let out a frustrated sigh, one of his men came into the tent. "Your Majesty..."

When the knight saw her and the King kneeling down upon the floor, they stopped short, asking if they had interrupted something important. The King glared at him, why did they charge in like that!? Am I being too lenient these days with my people!

King Richard sighed and asked the knights question again in his head, looking at his desire. He wanted to say yes, as they were interrupting him completely, but felt himself start to blush, knowing there was no other reason to say yes other than that it was personal. And for a King who should look after his people first, how could that be more important then what the man has to say?

"No, we are finished. She will come back to the Conrella with us."

The knight didn't respond but looked confused. The King stood up and held out his hand to the maiden. When she looked up at him, he remembered their kiss and felt his body start to heat again. Even just a look from her and he was dazzled!

There was something to look forward to, he thought, glad to be about to continue to see her. She would be closer to him, being in the capital, hell, he could give her something to do in the palace, so that she’d be even more closer! Perhaps if I could get her to teach me some of her Martial Arts, so that I could see her then…

…The maiden not using his hand to stand silently herself, sent him back into the present, from thinking upon the future.

After she left the tent, the King laughed. He didn't know how to react at all to her obvious dislike of him.

Then King Richard questioned again if it was dislike? Or was it possibly indifference...Or something else? He grunted unhappily.

My god, he sighed, how am I going to keep my hands off of her? Especially when I want to touch her so much already!?

 

When his men came in to report of the latest news from the capital, the King was momentarily saddened. It had been a long time since he forgot about important matters at hand, to think or want something so totally unrelated to the people or land.

In that very short period of time that the maiden had been there, he realized that he had forgotten where they had even been and who he was!

It was a scary concept, considering that no one should have that kind of power over a King, yet, it was true! He had only been thinking about her!

I want her back already! Was it more like a selfish plea for pleasure...Or torture though!? He questioned, grumbling again.

King Richard sighed, again glad that she was returning with him back to Conrella. He had to find a way to coax her over, knowing that she was quite a unique type of woman…But…How?

 

***

 

Mahnu didn't know how to react to the King's thoughts and her own. After such a long existence, it was surprising that there was still something she had not felt before.

Shaking her head, she decided that it didn't matter. She wanted to help.

It has nothing to do with how he treats her or his voice that even touches her skin. She will find answers, help with a few things and leave like she usually did. Nothing was going to change. I will be on my own again and they will live on...To die...

The thought of life leaving her here all the time, unable to follow others, was still painful to her.

That's right, she thought, I deserve to stay her for eternity. Not even worth crying for.

Mahnu was reminded that she had to endure this till the end, living on as the betrayer of her own kind. For what I have done, living as an immortal and enduring all the sufferings, surely is paying a price. And hopefully, in time, I will pay enough so that I can go into eternal slumber.

 

It was due to so many reasons, such as loneliness, regret, self-hatred, desperation, the unstoppable continued suffering of the people, that Mahnu even lost her speech. With all her might, she tried to stop the feelings and thoughts by helping nonstop, by even not eating or sleeping herself, but it didn't work.

...It was endless.

Since then, she has continued not to bother to eat and take the people's food and it has been many centuries now that sleep has deprived her.

She knows her selfish wish for the sufferings to stop, so that she could sleep, was something that would never happen. She had even tried to put herself in another chest, like the other God's, feeling that even that would be better than being stuck in Kralaide forever.

And when she had lost her voice, she also had lost the reason to talk.

Talking, she has thought for a long time, can be misunderstood and misleading, I still don't see the point to it.

Mahnu sighed.

 

Then there was a time when I was in an abandoned, run down, hut and I had laid there unmoving for so long that I was sure I didn't exist for a short period of time.

I had gotten mentally unstable over all the emotions that had swirled in my head. I didn't know what I had been thinking or feeling anymore, she thought, I couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was. And going through that helped me conclude that I was better off not feeling anything. It was years of starving myself, unmoving on the dirty floor, trying to feel and think of absolutely nothing.

Finally, I had figured out then that I'm better off not asking questions. I had given myself a small wish then, to sleep and wanted to live by that, even though I knew that I was in denial.

What saddens me sometimes, is that I can't go back to that state now, she thought. When I want to feel like nothing, I can't do it. It's like I awoke, that the me before was asleep. And now, I can't seem to close my eyes anymore.

 

Mahnu didn't quite give up on the concept of being nothing and that's why her wish ends with sleep. What she thinks awoken her, was someone that had come in to the hut one day and surprised her when the first thing they did was ask her if she was alright.

That seemed to have been enough to revive me from the pitch-black hole I had been in. That there were humans that were indeed caring.

That had made me feel bad as I was someone that could help people, and there I was wallowing. Wasting my time and feeling useless. I could be out there helping with building, or protecting…I could be harvesting or using my knowledge…I knew I was strong, and I knew a lot, so why was it that I was not using what I knew to help others?

So, with that renewed hope, Mahnu had then left the hut and continued to help the humans, but always staying out of sight or leaving them before a connection could be made.

Yes, being alone is my destiny. Because if I get close...Questions...Mahnu breathed in and closed her eyes. If going with the King brings no questions it should be bearable, she thought.