Chapter 7 Diving deep in the memories
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I reached the psychic shop, I saw it's name "Pandora's mind" I mumbled.

A mysterious object that tempts people to open it using curiosity eventually causing havoc once opened. I used to like mythologies as a teen so I know a bit of it though I don't know if I got that right. I went to the front door to read exactly what he can do.

As I read it, I was shock by the third one. At the same time I scoffed at it.

What do you mean relieving the past? I went to some psychiatrist to sort out my mind after the accident and they mentioned a type of  regression therapy or hypnosis which aims to unlock forgotten memories that the mind choose to seal cause of tragic situations. This is probably just a variation of that.

Still regardless if it's true or not I wanted to try it. Cause maybe... Just maybe I could hear her voice once again.

So I knocked on the door as per instructed. Not long after a person with a mask opened the door. 

"Come in."

He said. I walked in while observing the surrounding, maybe because the sun's is almost gone but this place looks even darker, like an abyss slowly trying to devour me.

I thought that he was gonna sit at the desk table at the edge but he took the left chair while I sat on the right chair.

"What can I do for you?" He ask mysteriously.

Does he know what I'm here for? Well he is a psychic so he has to have some few skills.

"I... want to relieve the past" I said with low expectations he can do it. I mean he probably can but it will probably just him saying words while I close my eyes and listen, something like a hypnotic experiment.

But even then I want to try it. Just to see my daughter again.

But unexpectedly what came out of his mouth was...

"I apologize, but I won't do it"

A denial. Don't tell me he doesn't really know and the third reading is just a hoax. Then why did he put it there in the first place?

"Why is that so?" I ask the obvious question.

Then a small silent came and I felt like he smiled gently behind his mask and said.

"Because I sense great loss on you, and though faint I can sense that you are slowly healing. Helping you might undo all those things."

I blank hearing that so he does have some skill in these things as he managed to guess what is wrong with me but healing? Everyday I have to live knowing the fact that my daughter is gone. That I need to prepare two plates instead of three, that I need to set aside all her beautiful dress, to warn her of the bad things and to guide her for the wonderful things, I needed to remind myself everyday that I didn't need to do that because she was gone. Only the silence of the house is all I can hear and that silence is painful.

Healing? I don't think that's possible. I will forever carry this scar.

"So can you do it or not? Whatever my problem I'll handle it myself" I said so irritated.

Whether it's good for me or not, it's my business.

Seemingly hesitating the guy in the mask was in silence for while and eventually said...

"Alright then, but there are few things you need to keep in mind"

I listen to it, curious to what it is.

" Firs of all you must chose a memory where there's a small number of people in it or it could maybe just you and the person you want to remember, it can't be in populated place or in a complicated situation"

Hearing this I remember a situation where it was only me and Cathy.

Keeping it in mind, I continue to listen.

"After that once we get started you must keep your emotions and memories in check although this might be hard but please be calm and control yourself"

It was a bit of a weird request, I mean how could I possibly lose emotions now more than the time I lost her. 

"And finally no matter what you saw and felt, remember it's all just a memory, never forget that you live in the present"

Maybe because it's starting but a weird mysterious aura seem to suddenly surround him.

"Do you agree?" 

I hesitated but eventually answered 

"Yes"

"Oh and before that you have to pay first"

Hearing this I was baffled as I was about to answer. He said..

"After the reading and If you are not satisficed with it I can assure you the money will be returned shortly"

I hold down my words and nodded slightly. I brought up the money and placed it at the side as I was instructed.

Then he stoop up and did something with the lights, now they flicker on and off unlike earlier. Because of the place that was already dark the lights that's flickering on and off makes it even more darker. He sat down again and move his chair a bit closer to mine. 

"Now I want you to look at this mirror" 

He handed me a mirror the size of a head.

Then he rolled his sleeves slightly and ask.

"Can I touch you? This won't work without direct contact"

Hearing this I put my a guard up a bit thinking he's gonna take advantage of me.

"Don't worry I only have to touch your wrist for this to work."

I put down my guard slightly hearing that and agreed. He touch my wrist and it was a but cold cause he was wearing a glove.

"Now look at the mirror"

He said as I brought the mirror in front of me and I saw my reflection.

"Now try remember the memory and face the mirror. You could try to close your eyes to remember better but keep the mirror in front of you"

I did so as I instructed and remembered a moment in our life. We were on the balcony waiting for daddy for food. From time to time we do this just before the sun set we head to the balcony while one of us cook food and after that we just stare as at the sunset, we would talk, laugh, play games. As I was trying to remember this scene I don't know when but I had closed my eyes.

I keep remembering that scene until I saw it in front of 'me', it was blurry at first but slowly it became clearer and clearer. I was like a spectator watching this but then suddenly. I "opened" my eyes.

There I was at the balcony. I was confused. This doesn't seems like an ordinary dream as I am conscious nor like was it like remembering a memory, but then I heard it. The word I have been longing to hear for almost a year. One that I missed so much.

I turn around to the door and there I saw her, more vivid like any other. Instantly my eyes was filled with tears. 

"Mommy? Why are you crying?" 

She asks but I was so overwhelmed by emotions of seeing her and hearing her say mommy. The surrounding that was clear seems to blurry once again but I focus all my attention on my daughter.

"...Ca.. Cathy?" 

"Yes mommy?"

I couldn't hold myself back anymore I went to her and hugged her tightly and said..

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" I apologized I don't know what I'm apologizing for but I just said it.

Then the warmth that I was longing for and missing reappeared, she was so little and innocent. My emotions and memories is slowly becoming messy then I heard a voice that is not part of this memory.

"Ma'am you should calm down a little otherwise your meeting will be short."

I calmed down a bit hearing that. So this his doing? How did he do this?

"Mommy are you okay? Should I call daddy?"

Ask my daughter with concern as she wipe my tears off my eyes. I can see her face more clearly up close, every freckle, every mole, the color of her eyes seems incomparably clear that inside of me is screaming that she's real and not a memory.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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