It was long past midnight when I heard a knock on my door. I didn’t need to roll off the bed and ram the door to know who was behind the atrocious act of interrupting an undead’s sleep. I turned on the magic lamp, which was nothing more than a weird blob, by supplying ample mana to it, and trudged to the door, annoyance mixed in with lethargy. It was early morning of the dawn, slightly before sunrise, and I had just gotten to bed a few minutes ago after keeping my lady company until she learned [Freeze]. And thankfully, she had.

“Get up already, Ruddy!” Beth’s hushed voice came through the door, and I saw Casey beside her as I opened the door.

“How can I help you, lady Beth?”

“Is that even a question?! How dare you sleep after torturing us all throughout the night!” she snapped, stepping inside my humble abode and closed the door shut once Casey had followed her suit.

“I can heal you now if you want, lady Beth, but I really need to get some sleep.”

“How about you cast [Heal] on yourself, Ruddy?” Casey asked, her eyes prying the details of my room.

Well, when you have all the time in the world, sleep becomes an excellent companion to pass the time. So, undead usually never forgo sleep unless excruciating circumstances force us to. Not eating bread, but something like slaughter. Ignorants don’t even know when not to eat bread.

“That, I can’t do, lady Casey. Why are you here, by the way?”

Surprisingly, they decided to let me off with that answer.

“We caught some spiders while cleaning the rooms of the western courtyard,” Beth smiled and showed me the paper bag that had numerous spiders crawling along the sides, their red eyes gleaming in the thick darkness within. “You know what to do, don’t you?”

I smiled. That certainly seemed interesting, and Casey didn’t miss the mischievous glint in my eyes as she joined us in our plotting.

“Who first?” Casey asked.

“How about the bitch?” Beth asked, taking a seat on the stool against my table. I sat on my hard cot while Casey just leaned beside the door.

“What if she is with the Marquis?”

“That old man still has vigor?” Beth laughed. “I don’t think he can get a single shot inside her, though.”

I coughed, and Casey joined in the laughter. “Anyway, if the Marquis is still holding up somehow, then we need to switch our target. How about the two sisters? They annoy my lady a lot during breakfast.”

“Address is all we need, Ruddy,” Casey said. “These spiders are not lethal, but their poison can give you terrible blisters. And anywhere but their faces doesn’t sound half enticing.”

I never knew about it, to be honest. Thankfully, those vile black creatures never bit me, or I would have become the bane of their existence. I stared at the amusement in noble bullies’ eyes and felt my instincts for mischief kick in. My lady never resorted to petty tricks, so this really felt like a great chance to get back at those obnoxious brats. Undead are mischievous, and you never know when your sheets become spikes in your sleep, mutilating your body.

“Leti is sleeping,” Casey said, probably to reassure me. I was dead either way, so it didn’t really make a difference. For now, horrifying shrills of the sisters overcame the fear of my lady.

“Then let’s scare the hell out of them,” I smiled while Beth and Casey looked at each other and grinned.

“Told you he’ll help out, Casey,” Beth said, getting off my chair. “He’s a faithful dog, after all.”

“Now now, lady Beth. Let’s not idle away and waste our time. We need to get some spiders inside their clothes, or it wouldn’t be exciting.”

“Evil bastard!” Beth laughed. “But I’m so loving the idea.”

We ambled out of my abode, my [Devil eye] paving a smooth way to the stairs at the entrance of the manor that led to the first floor. Darkness encased us, sounds of vague night insects disturbing the lambent glow of the moon beyond the closed door. Guards were wide awake, and also the private army, so getting out of the house was out of the question unless I put them to sleep.

A stair at a time was all we needed to reach the first floor soon and without any interruptions. Maids, unlike guards, preferred to sleep away the night, so the inner mansion was relatively unguarded until we heard moans from one of the master bedrooms.

“Told you that man has vigor left,” I said. “It’s almost dawn, and I wonder if the lady of the house had any breaks in between.”

Casey giggled while Beth gave me an annoyed look. “If he could shoot right, your mansion would have been overridden with more annoying sisters. All he has is vigor and nothing else. That bitch looks fresh out of a brothel after all.”

That much, I couldn’t refuse. With a jovial mood, we traipsed across the corridor, twirling and scampering, until we stumbled on Arabell’s room. My [Devil eye] entered first, casting [Fatigue] on her before Beth could open the door.

“I got [Shadow],” she reassured me and entered the door. [Shadow] helps wipe out her presence but nothing beyond that. If she touched Arabell, she would undoubtedly get caught, and my lady’s lashing awaited her in the morning. And me, of course.

Casey stayed at the door beside me, keeping an eye out on the dark corridor, her body sizzling with sparks that provided enough illumination for her. My [Devil eye] didn’t have any problem seeing in the pitch-black darkness, so it didn’t really make a difference to me.

Beth returned soon, her grin making the success evident if the decrease in the girth of the paper bag wasn’t a good enough indicator.

“How many?” I asked.

“Five. One inside her pants, two inside her shirt, and two on her neck. I doubt she’ll come out of the mansion for the next few days.”

“And if my lady catches us, I doubt we will either,” I said and hurried to the next destination.

Casey helped Beth quench the darkness, and our next destination was just a few steps away. Both entered Meisie’s room this time after I discreetly cast [Fatigue] and returned with blissful faces but still with some spiders. Flickering moonlight illuminated the transparent picture window at the end of the corridor, and we walked in the opposite direction, back to the stairs.

“What about the rest of these poor spiders?” Casey asked, glancing at the Marquis door, and Beth chuckled.

“Just place them under the door,” I said. “They know better where to find a meal. And naked bodies look more delicious in their gleaming eyes.”

“Naughty, Ruddy,” Beth said, but she was already placing the spiders underneath the door and ushering them inside the room through the small opening. The moans inside had died down, so I repeated my sequence of spells and walked down the stairs, back to my humble abode, after making sure the two noble ladies slept in two separate rooms.

The next morning was more peaceful than ever, as only my lady occupied the dinner table, along with her two friends, who had joined in much to her surprise. If the Marquis or anyone else had been here, then the act alone would have earned them enough rebuke. The spiders might have done more good than harm. Nevertheless, all of them were unable to get out of bed, and I wondered if Casey was jesting when she said the spiders were non-lethal.

“For today, no one would stop us from having breakfast with Leti!” Beth said, stuffing her mouth with all the delicacies on the table, maids looking at each other in despair, too scared to reject their uncharted hunger before my lady.

My lady had fun with her mates, her smiles occasionally leaving the maids dumbstruck, who were too used to her grumpy expressions. The cheerful ambiance lasted for the whole morning until it was time to leave for the Academy. Beth complained that she was too sleepy, so she decided to stay, Casey following the suit with much excitement.

“If you dare try something funny when I am not around, not even my mongrel can save you,” she warned with a dangerous glint in her eyes that had the two troublemakers nodding with utmost reverence.

A morning without the Marquis, two loving sisters, and the lady of the manor was indeed worth the efforts of last night, though terse. Once out of the gates, we strolled through the busy streets, my lady giving me stares that I could only describe as piercing. If you say there’s nothing about a teenage girl staring daggers at you, then I suggest you look back on your life. It undoubtedly means that you have done something unamenable.

Commuters paced around us, their clothes shifting to thicker ones, marking the advent of the winter. My lady didn’t need any, for she had a high tolerance for cold thanks to her ice attribute. But, well, looking at her all huddled up in thick clothing is something to look forward to, so I usually made her wear them when she was young. Now, smacks are all I get in reply.

“Hey, mongrel,” she called out, straining her neck to get a clear look at my face. “What did you do last night? How come the entire manor got sick on the same day?”

“Spiders and trailers, my lady,” I said, remembering the famous book of the world.

“Spider and trailers,” she repeated, a smile replacing the stoic expression. “Then you have my gratitude, mongrel.”

“Always, my lady. Your friends did most of the work, though.”

“Then I should perhaps reward them with more cleaning. They love spiders, after all.”

I laughed, and she held my gloved hand, pulling me along to the bread store.

“Thank you, my mongrel. It was a great morning.”

“Anything for bread, my lady,” I grinned and earned a smack, albeit a soft one.