My name is Sen Kimura. I am 16 years old. My house is in the suburban district of Kichijoji where all the Western style houses are, and I am currently on summer vacation from high school.
I wake up at 5 AM and do my daily routine of exactly 100 pushups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats, and 10 kilometers of running through a nearby forest and get home at 7 AM at the latest.
In short, I'm trying to explain that I'm a normal high school student who is doing his best to maintain a normal and healthy lifestyle. That is how I deal with the world, and I know that it is what brings me happiness...
"...Like hell it does!" I punched a nearby tree and cursed. "What the hell is VIMS?! Why the hell did I reincarnate back on Earth?! And where are my Anime waifus!?!?" I screamed and then spun around in a back kick, whipping my leg at the tree.
A forest about five kilometers from my house. One filled with oak trees and serving as a public nature trail.
Most people used it for dates or exercise.
I used it to vent my anger.
I let out a strangled stream and spun around with a roundhouse kick. Leaves fluttered to the ground as the tree vibrated.
It should have hurt. It should have, but...
"You get compensation for dying a premature death, they said! You get a cheat system, they said! You get to reincarnate in another world, they said! But why! The hell! Do I have! To make VTuber idols?!"
I emphasized my words with another kick to the tree. Each one sent bark flying as well as more leaves fluttering to the ground.
*CRACK*
The tree couldn't bear it anymore. After taking my abuse for the past month, the stout oak tree finally splintered and started to fall over.
Wait.
"Oh crap! I gotta get out of here!"
This was a forest, but it was also public property. Which meant that any damage was damage to public property.
Which meant that I'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble for destroying public property if I was caught.
Without looking back, I quickly started sprinting down the forest path back towards my house.
Ominous cracking sounds echoed behind me, but I dug my heels into the ground and kept sprinting.
[+1 Achievement point gained for defeating Oak Tree.]
"Stop effing with me you damned system! Argh!"
I swiped the blue window with my right hand, dismissing it.
At that moment, a loud crash echoed, along with the sound of breaking branches.
And a distant siren.
[Urgent mission! Evade the police! Achievement points: +10]
"God freaking dammit! Just my luck!"
I screamed in English and kept running- Wait.
Since I'd been screaming in English this entire time... And since I spoke fluent English... And since everyone in Japan was biased to eleven...
I quickly slowed my pace to a light jog. At the same time, I pulled out my phone and popped in my Bluetooth earbuds. Swiping through some apps, I played a random song and then took deep breaths to calm down-
*Nobody notices that we! Are gifted just for being humans, we are! At no doubt!*
...Or I could play some pumping JPop and calm down. Sure.
The sirens drew closer.
My heart raced, but I forced myself to calm down and kept jogging.
And then a gruff voice called out from behind me in Japanese. "Hey! You there!"
I stopped and then turned around. Pulling out an earbud, I tilted my head and looked at the person who called out to me.
As expected, it was a cop. A typical middle-aged man wearing the blue cap and matching uniform... who caught up to me with a motorbike.
I carefully kept a neutral expression and said, "Yes, Officer-san?"
The man stopped and then looked at my face. When he saw me, his expression changed and he cleared his throat. "My apologies. I didn't mean to frighten you."
"...It's fine. Did you need something?"
He nodded and then pointed back. "A tree collapsed over there. It looks like someone chopped it down, and there were reports in the past month about a foreigner screaming in English. Have you seen anyone?"
I shook my head. "I haven't Officer-san."
"Ah." The officer nodded. "Then please, be on your way. And be careful. It isn't safe for a young lady to run through the woods alone."
My eye twitched. "I am-"
"Stay safe, young lady!" With a short wave, the officer hopped back on his bike and drove back along the path.
I stood there for a few moments, watching until he vanished into the distance and far out of earshot.
And then I screamed.
"I'M A GUY, GODDAMMIT!"
...Yes. My name is Sen Kimura. I am a 16 year old MALE, formerly 30 year old, currently residing in a goddamned femboy body with a feminine voice that won't change even after I got strong enough to kick down a damned tree!
I stuck my middle fingers up to the sky and shouted. "Screw you gods! I hope some web novel protagonist kills you all and @@#$@# their @#$@# up your %$#%#$- @#$@! @#$@! %@#$@$#!"
[Urgent Mission <Evade the Police> complete. +10 Achievement points.]
[Daily Mission <To become strong> complete. +10 Achievement points.]
[Great accomplishment! You have obtained 1000 Achievement points on your own merits!]
[As a reward, you have unlocked the VTuber Avatar <Azura Stellaris> and obtained the skills <Expert Singing>, <Expert Voice Acting>, and <Expert Acting>.]
I froze, reading the messages. And then I screamed again.
"I AM NOT BECOMING A TRAP VTUBER! GO FU-!]
[The new feature, <Money/Achievement Point Conversion> has been opened.]
[Note: Streaming provides both money and achievement points in accordance to the purpose of VIMS. Please consider your future career wisely to maximize the system's utility.]
[The new feature, <Achievement Point Gacha> has been unlocked. Use your achievement points through the newly installed app on your phone for a chance to win miraculous rewards!]
I lowered my hands and then muttered, "...Well played, System. Well played."
[Urgent Mission <Evade the Police> complete. +10 Achievement points.]
Local news coverage reports that this is the fifteenth day in a row that a vandal has destroyed trees in the Kichijoji Nature Preserve. Residents are warned that the suspect, "The Morning Wood Breaker," also screams theo-political rants, in English, and are urged to stay away from the area until police make an arrest.
You got the joke!
Thanks for reading!
I can’t believe I missed the morning wood breaker part lol
Heck yeah, femboy Vtuber lol
I dunno what the hell's going on in this story, but it's about to be wild. Probably.
Thanks for reading!
...Yes. My name is Sen Kimura. I am a 16 year old MALE, formerly 30 year old, currently residing in a goddamned femboy body with a feminine voice that won't change even after I got strong enough to kick down a damned tree
Being a femboy alone makes you the Ultimate Lifeform - the rest is just a bonus
Thanks for reading!
Where there is VTuber Idols, there is HappyVainGlory.
Oh, NO!!! ITS TRAP!!!!
Thanks for reading!
Do you mean "OH YES! IT'S A TRAP!"
@LKADITY
Sometimes it takes a guy to be best girl xd.