[Note: The system is devoted whole-heartedly to-]

Shut up! I know what you're on about already, dammit.

I sighed and then looked at the beautiful girl in front of me.

"Celestine Elizabeth Pendragon, huh?"

She raised her head and smiled. Beautiful violet eyes. Long golden hair, shimmering with water droplets. A flawless face with soft pink lips revealing pearly white teeth. "Yes, my goddess!"

"I'm not a goddess."

"Even so!" She pulled my hand close to her chest and said, "To have saved my life, you are my goddess! I swear it!"

...Are you *sure* she didn't get brain damaged?

[Note: 100%.]

I sighed and pulled her up. "Whatever." I stared at her soaked clothes and frowned. "We need to get you changed out of those. You'll catch a cold."

Celestine... Elizabeth? Whatever. The blonde girl nodded and said, "As you command, my goddess!" Saying that, she immediately reached for her dress and started to pull it off.

"%$#%! What are you doing!?"

The blonde girl paused and tilted her head. "I am changing out of my clothes as you commanded?"

I groaned, feeling a headache come along. "I didn't mean do that *here*. What, did they not teach you common sense at the royal academy or whatever, Celestine... Ah, screw it. I'm calling you Celes."

The blonde girl... No, Celes's eyes lit up. "Celes...? Then does that mean I have been baptized by you, Goddess? To be certain, I did fall into the water and received your blessing, but..."

Celes trailed off, mumbling incoherently to herself.

It also seemed like she wasn't going to pay any attention to me for a while, so...

Hey, System. We're both going to catch cold if we're out here, and I'm 100% sure that I'm going to get stopped by a cop to question if I'm a soapland worker escorting a newbie if I'm seen like this. Any way to get new clothes?

[Note: Once more, the system's legal services-]

Dammit, System! Learn some common sense too! If I'm seen like this and get known as a lewd woman along with this new girl that you want to join my company, won't we lose our reputation!?

[Note: User's input has been received.]
[Note: Assessing the current situation...]
[Note: Confirmed.]
[Note: A new banner has been added to the gacha. Please inspect it, User.]

Nice. Except one thing. I don't have my phone on me, you dumb@$$! And even if I did, it'd be dead!

[Note: Updating interface... The gacha system may now be accessed through the main menu. Please confirm.]

I glanced at Celes to check on her.

The beautiful blonde girl... who was definitely a princess judging from her clothes and name, was still off in her fantasy land. She was still soaking wet and dripping all over from being submerged under water.

And I was too... which meant that these lumps of fat were completely on display because I had been wearing a white shirt and no bra.

So... gacha it was.

I opened up the VIMS main menu. And true to the system's words, there was an option for the gacha now.

Tapping it opened a window in front of me with the same display on my phone. The inventory icon, the status icon, the gacha icon... And a new summoning banner in the middle of the screen.

[Rate Up: Cosmetic Equipment]
[Special offer! 10x summon for guaranteed UR equipment set!]

It was a guaranteed gacha. One of the newbie pulls that games used to lure in new players. And the items on display...

-VI|IV-

[UR - Heaven's Veil]
A shimmering dress created to grant a miraculous wish. Increases Luck to the max while worn.

[UR - Flowing Water Dress]
A mysterious dress that seems to be spun from pure water. Keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

[UR - Aedes Vesta]
A divine garment worn by the goddess who governs the primordial flame. The embodiment of selfless sacrifice to purify the mortal world. While worn, your actions will not be questioned.

[SR - Piercing Bunny]
A dress that every man dreams to see upon a beautiful woman at least once in their life. Emphasizes all of your best assets.

-VI|IV-

...You dastard! Why are they all dresses?! I'm a guy, dammit!

[Note: Equipment will be tailored according to the user's form regardless of gender.]

Oh. In that case... I guess that makes sense.

Then...

I glanced at the summoning buttons.

Right now I had 3300 Achievement Points from saving Celes... meaning that I could do a ten pull and a single pull.

My gut told me to just do single pulls, but the ten pull had a guaranteed UR equipment set. And the emphasis was on 'set' instead of just 'equipment' so...

"...You'd better not scam me this time, System."

[Note: The system's rates are perfectly fair and balanced according to the universal principles of causality.]

Celes looked up at me and said, "My Goddess?"

"It's just Sen. And hold on. I'm getting up new clothes."

Celes smiled and clasped her hands together. "Yes, Just Sen! I will wait for eternity if need be!"

...Hey system, could you tell me more about this girl? I don't think she's normal.

[Note: The system only provides appropriate quests in response to the changing world.]

So you're telling me you don't know either.

[Note: Correct.]

Right... Wait. Why are you suddenly responding to my questions? Don't tell me you've been sentient this whole time?!

Silence.

...Which meant that was definitely a yes.

I sighed and reached out to tap the button.

I could think about that later. Right now, I was tired, wet, and exhausted from dealing with all of this crazy BS.

"Just give me something good..."

[Are you sure you want to do a 10x pull? 3000 Achievement points will be consumed.]

Yeah, yeah...

The window flickered and faded to black. When it did, a summoning animation began to play.

Cracks formed across the screen. And from what I saw last time, that meant it was an UR. The problem was... which one?

Floating rainbow lights. Like fireflies, but shimmering in different colors.

A silhouette, standing atop the water and spinning around with a staff...

Wait. Isn't this-

[UR: Isn't it beautiful?]
A memory of a naive young girl who resolved herself to sacrifice her life to quell a spiral of suffering. While worn, others are inclined to help you. Increases likelihood of talented young men falling in love with you.

#$@%! STOP $%#$%#$ WITH ME!