I plastered a bright smile on my face and leaned towards Yui, holding my bag with both hands in front of me. "So~ Do you usually go home by yourself like this, Yui-chan?"

Yui shook her head, causing her light brown hair to scatter. After that, she said, "I usually go home with Uncle Laplace. He's busy today though."

Uncle Laplace, huh?

You know, I never realized it until now, but our math teacher has a very supervillain name.

'You think? The fact that his first name is Laplace didn't point it out?'

To be fair, he only ever went by Professor Euclid. And isn't that a famous mathematician last name or something?

'...Um. Maybe...?'

See? You don't know either. Some advanced AI you are.

'Of course I'm advanced! After all, I'm human!'

Keep telling yourself that, Cici.

I looked back at Yui and then tilted my head. After that, I put on a scared expression and said, "Aren't you afraid going home by yourself though?"

'Putting the acting skill to work, I see.'

If you've got it, use it, right?

'Right~! So should I start looking for cute dresses?'

...I walked into that one. Though, if things like this start happening more often, I might have to...

'All the more reason to keep streaming as Azura! No one will suspect a thing!'

Yui kicked a pebble away from the road and said, "A little. I can't carry self-defense weapons here so I have to use martial arts. I was never really good at them though..."

Huh. No wonder she got beat up by Celes so easily.

'That's not a fair comparison, Sennie. Celes is a Platinum-Grade talent, you know?'

What does that even mean anyway? It never came up after I saved Celes or since she's been living with me.

'It means she's a Mary Sue!'

...Come again?

'Ooh~ But we haven't even gone a date yet, Sennie. A girl needs a little wine-and-dine before we do the freaky stuff.'

"What about you, Sena?" Yui looked at me and said, "Kanryo-san walks with you to school, but I overheard him say you do morning jogs by yourself. Aren't you afraid?"

Dang it, Ren. Do you just love gossiping about me or something? Also, Sena, huh?

'Are you gonna tell her?'

What, that I'm actually a guy? Maybe after we finish this mission and she's safe.

'Ooh! So you're going to hit her with the double whammy like Celes and make her fall for you too! Niiice.'

NO! God, do you think about nothing but tropes and flags?

'Until I get my own body, I'm living vicariously through you, Sennie-poo!'

I tuned Cici out again and looked at Yui.

'Rude!'

Shut up!

Anyway...

"It's a little scary." I nodded and pretended to be unsure. "I'm good at martial arts, but I'm not sure what I'd do if someone tried to kidnap me these days."

'Yeah. You might accidentally crush their nuts or crack their skull after giving them some head. I mean, headaches.'

Do you want another round of earworm and or meme songs stuck in your head?

'N-No...'

Then behave.

'Kay... T_T'

Yui nodded and smiled. "Right? I'm always worried about what happens afterwards. Uncle Laplace has a lot of connections, but I don't want to cause him trouble either. Oh, and... Um. Sorry about the other day." Her ears turned red and she said, "I didn't mean to cause a scene with your friend."

"It's fine!" I smiled back at her and said, "Celes is usually nice, so she won't hold a grudge. And it's been a bit of a stressful year with the important entrance exams coming up."

Yui groaned. "I forgot about those..."

I laughed and then took a close look at our surroundings.

We were on our way back from school, walking down the sidewalks.

Zenkai Academy was in downtown Tokyo by Roppongi Hills, so there was a bit of a trip for both of us to head home. Mostly by subway.

The sun was also starting to set, and more people were walking around. Salarymen off from work, university students heading out for the night, as well as some other high school students.

And a good number were staring at me and Yui.

Of course, I expected that.

Setting the fact that I just naturally drew people's attentions for better or worse aside-

'Ooh. Careful. Vanity isn't sexy. Don't be like that one lady who dated the pirate.'

-Yui was super pretty. The fact that she was 'bigger' than most other girls as well as the fact that she also looked foreign at a glance meant that people glanced at her.

She seemed used to it too though and didn't notice. Well, that or she was just too happy spending time with me.

Which was weird. I thought she was like the head of the Discipline Committee or something. She also looked pretty popular from all the people she rallied to fight Celes...

'I think most of those were your fanclub more than her friend, Sennie.'

Good point.

Yui adjusted her bag around her shoulder and then looked up at the sky. Seeing the fading blue, she frowned and looked at me. "Is it fine to come with me all this way though? You live in the same district as Kanryo-san, don't you? I live in Shinjuku, so won't it be far for you?"

@$#@@

'XD Did you forget to ask?'

Of course I forgot! I was focused on how to not get her killed!

Though. The fact that she lives in Shinjuku definitely explains why that would happen... Isn't that where the yakuza or something hang out?

'Don't ask me. I'm not Google-chan or Siri.'

But you're- Never mind.

I shook my head and smiled at Yui. "It's okay! I'm meeting with someone in Shinjuku anyway. After we head to your house, I can just go meet with him."

Yui frowned. "Him?"

'You *do* realize that just sounds like you're doing compensated dating, right?'

I didn't have to fake being panicked as I quickly waved my hands. "O-Oh! No, it's not like that."

Like heck I'd do compensated dating!

'What about working at a host club? I think you'd make a lot~ Also, it'd be great to look for new talents!'

...I'll think about it.

I smiled at Yui and said, "It's a family friend. And I'm going to be meeting him with Celes too."

'That doesn't sound much better, Sennie...'

Shut up! I'm improvising!

Yui's frown deepened. "...Really?"

"Really! But if you're that worried, maybe I should just sleep over?"

A casual statement. Something I didn't expect her to answer. But...

"Yes!"

...I forgot that she was a superfan of mine.

':popcorn:'

Yui noticed my expression and flinched. "S-Sorry. I mean..." She shifted in place and said, "I've never had a friend over since I moved to Japan, so... It'd be fun." She looked up at me and said, "I have some games! We can play Mario Party and Club House games on my Switch! I have Switch Sports too if you want to play that instead!"

I blinked and said, "You play games, Yui-chan?"

She blushed and looked away. "U-Um... Yes. B-But only a little! I'm not an otaku, I promise! It's just... Um. W-We play games a lot in America, so..." She trailed off, her face a beet red.

'OMG. Smart gamer girl! You've gotta reel her in, Sennie! Seal the deal! Place your mark! Tap that a-'

I *will* start playing 'This is the song that never ends.'

':zip:'

I smiled at Yui and said, "That's great! I don't really play many games anymore..."

Mostly because I was dumping all my time in vain trying to grind stats and change this body.

"...But I used to play a lot when I was younger."

Yui's eyes lit up and she said, "R-Really? Then..." She twirled a bit of her light brown hair and said, "...Do you want to sleep over? I-I can cook too."

A sharp glare from behind me. Outright hostility. But not at me. Instead, it was locked right onto Yui. And the source of that...

'Ooh. Looks like your princess is jealous.'

Right. It was Celes.

She was walking a fair distance away from us. She was also wearing an outfit that should make her stand out like a sore thumb.

Long black leather gloves and knee-high black boots. A form-fitting crimson kimono that was cut short, leaving plenty of pure white skin on display.

That outfit by itself would draw attention, but her natural beauty made it worse. Or better, technically? Especially since her current expression was cold and harsh.

...Celes was really hot too, wasn't she?

'Ooh la la~'

Sh-shut up!

A-Anyway... Despite being dressed like that, there seemed to be an invisible bubble around her that was preventing people from walking into her or seeing her.

As usual, URs were OP.

Since I was relying on Celes to keep us safe, I gave her <Black Kite> and asked her to use it to trail us.

Well, mostly to keep Yui safe by having an outsider's perspective to track any suspicious people.

Celes noticed me glance at her and quickly blushed before turning her attention to our surroundings.

"Hm?" Yui turned back and said, "Did you see someone, Sena?"

"I saw someone I knew, but it looks like they're busy. But anyway." I looked at Yui and said, "I'd love to have a sleepover! But can Celes join too?"

"A-Ah..." Yui shifted. "That's..."

"It'll be more fun playing games if we have another person, right? Also, she'll be waiting for me in Shinjuku alone if I don't show up, so..."

"In that case..." Yui still looked hesitant, but she nodded. "Okay. I want to apologize to her in person too..."

"You're really a nice girl, aren't you, Yui?"

Yui blushed. "T-Thank you. And you're nice too, Sena..."

'Yes! Affection points up!'

Could you please stop treating my life like a visual novel or a let's play?

'Could you please let me roll the gacha so I could show up in person instead of living vicariously through you?'

...Fine. You can use the ten roll.

':o'

'T_T'

'I love you, Sennie-poo!'

You think that now. But wait until you have to help me deal with this ridiculous stuff in person.

'!!!'

':thinking:'

'...Deal! :insert_you_offer_meme:'

...Seriously. How are you talking in emojis and emotes? And how is it translating when I'm hearing you? Like, that doesn't even...

Never mind. I feel like I'm going to lose something important if I think about it too hard.

'Yep! The human mind isn't meant to comprehend the fourth wall, and you aren't the Demon Lord of Salvation.'

What?

'Don't worry about it! Now, keep chatting up your new gal pal. The real stuff will hit the fan when we get to yakuza territory.'

...That *really* doesn't comfort me, Cici.

'It's not supposed to?'

...

-VI|IV-

The rest of the trip was uneventful. We made it to the station without anything more than some uncomfortable stares. Celes also followed us, still wearing <Black Kite>.

It was pretty funny watching people squeeze up against each other to avoid her standing in the middle of the train though. Especially since they didn't seem to know why they wanted to.

...Though it made me just that much more aware of how reality-bending UR items were.

...It also made me more than a bit worried for Sensei since she used one on herself. But since it seemed to be good things, it should be fine.

Anyway, uneventful trip. We got off the station, made it onto the streets and started heading to Yui's house.

Well, technically apartment.

Apparently, Professor Euclid owned an entire apartment building and had given her the suite at the top.

So that was where we were headed. Except...

I moved closer to Yui, playing the role of a scared high school girl and eyed the people around us. "Do you usually deal with this sort of attention, Yui?"

Men wearing suits but clearly giving off a dangerous vibe. Some standing with girls dressed in provocative clothing. Others talking to people while subtly exchanging money for discreet packages...

And surprisingly, no cops around. Despite the fact that this was a hotbed of clearly criminal activity.

Yui looked around and shook her head. "Just ignore them. If you don't cause trouble, they won't cause trouble with you."

"...You say that, but they're giving us some weird looks..."

Actually, they were giving Yui weird looks. The people staring at me were giving cold gazes, like figuring out how to eliminate me. In contrast, the people staring at Yui were... Well. It was the sort of vibe that usually ended in a 'bad end' doujin.

'My favorite!'

WTF. NO.

'Hey! I know how to separate reality from fiction! But you can't tell me they aren't hot!'

Again, KYS.

'And again, when we meet in person, Sennie-poo~! Ooh, and can I kiss Celes too?'

I sighed and held my bag closer, pretending to be scared and relying on Yui.

Seeing that, she held her head higher and stayed close to me, clearly setting out a strong front to calm me down.

But I wasn't really worried. And the reason for that...

"Kuh."

"What the-"

"Who-"

A bunch of muffled dialogue that sounded like the sort mobs in a Hitman game would say before getting knocked out.

Yui didn't notice, too focused on keeping me from being scared... Is what I thought what was happening.

But then I realized that it was because UR were broken as usual.

While me and Yui continued to her apartment, Celes walked up to every person who seemed like a threat and were staring at me and Yui.

And then she promptly decked them in the head and kicked them in the groin.

Indiscriminately.

I actually kind of wished that I couldn't see Celes do that because it must have been *hilarious* seeing a bunch of scary looking dudes drop to the ground out of nowhere like that while covering their critical weakness.

'Don't worry! I'm recording it right now!'

Great. Then- Wait. You can record? Since when?

':whistles:'

...Again, going to commit some domestic abuse and test those MIRAIZ legal services when you show up.

'Again, don't threaten me with a good time, Sennie-poo.'

-VI|IV-

Celes brushed her hands off as she dragged the last thug into an alleyway and tossed him onto the rest of the thugs. As she did, she looked down at her outfit and nodded. "The divine garment that Sen gave me is as effective as expected." She looked at the groaning pile of over twenty men and said, "It would have been impossible to ambush so many like this otherwise."

An attire that concealed her presence in plain view, as well as concealed the presence of one other person.

The intent was likely for protection, but it seemed to also apply to 'targets.'

Meaning that she was free to take out the hostiles with impunity as well as dispose of their corpses.

In theory.

Celes didn't go that far. While she could have back at home, this world was a bit different. More peaceful in some ways and more dangerous in others.

For both reasons, Celes held back and simply neutralized the hired men.

Still...

Celes dashed back towards Sen and that Yui girl.

As expected, there was a new group of men tailing them.

Also as expected, Yui was oblivious while Sen was acting as a terrified maiden.

A ploy to draw the men into a false state of security and arrogance.

Even so...

Celes puffed out her cheeks and then muttered, "...I want to be spoiled more when this is over, Sen."

Did he hear her?

Sen glanced back and then let out an apologetic smile before nodding.

Seeing that, Celes felt her heart warm. She put a bit more spring into her step and smiled.

Okay! For her goddess and for the love of her life!

"Gah! W-What the hell?!"

"A-A ghost?! S-Stay aw-"

"B-Boss! There's a-"

-VI|IV-

A fancy penthouse suite at the top of a luxurious apartment building. There was a walk-out door where you could step out onto the roof. The sort with an outdoor pool, cityscape view, and all sorts of modern equipment and furniture.

After riding the elevator to the top... And with Celes staring at me in silence as I stayed close to Yui on the ride up, Yui happily showed me around her room and set up her Switch for us to play games on her giant wall monitor.

Snacks, candy, good food and laughs.

At some point, I left to properly bring Celes in after she changed to normal clothes.

Cosmetically.

Apparently, UR item effects were still active even when you were wearing other clothes if you had it equipped.

And apparently, Celes knew that.

...Meaning that she was dressed like that specifically for me since I was the only one who could see her like that.

Anyway, it was a night of laughs, awkward apologies, and good fun.

But eventually, Yui fell asleep on the couch, resting her controller on her chest.

That left me and Celes.

'And me!'

You don't count as a person, Cici.

'Harsh! AI are people too!'

Only in Detroit.

':pout:'

Midnight.

I stared at my mission menu and frowned. "It looks like it's not complete yet."

Celes tilted her head and said, "The divine oracle has yet to report a success?"

'Gasp! Celes called me a divine oracle! God I love that girl!'

No. She's mine.

':O'

I-I mean, she's my girlfriend, okay? Stay away!

'Aw~ So cute! But okay! Only because you two are my OTP!'

Shipping IRL people is bad civ, Cici.

'...But you aren't IRL people?'

...

I decided to ignore Cici and turned my attention back to Celes. I shook my head and said, "She hasn't. So... I think we've still got a bit of trouble ahead."

I glanced back at the mission log and carefully reread it.

---

[Urgent Mission! <Fake Love>]

Escort Yui Lovelace safely back home and avoid the shadowy kidnappers seeking to use her as leverage against Professor Euclid!

Reward: Yui Lovelace's affection, Professor Euclid's respect, Free 10x Gacha roll

Failure: Death of Yui Lovelace. Dr. Laplace Euclid swears vengeance against Japan. Destruction of Japan's economic and internet infrastructure.

---

The task said to escort Yui home and avoid the kidnappers.

The first part was complete, and it seemed like the second part was as well, but-

---

[Urgent Mission <Fake Love> updated!]

Mysterious expert assassins have been sent to retrieve Yui Lovelace. Reinforcements are on the way, but it will take a while. The other occupants in the building have been placed into a deep slumber through unknown means.

New objective: Keep Yui Lovelace alive. Survive until 3:00 AM.

Reward: Yui Lovelace's affection, Professor Euclid's respect, Free 10x Gacha roll, ???

Failure: Death of Yui Lovelace. Dr. Laplace Euclid swears vengeance against Japan. Destruction of Japan's economic and internet infrastructure.

Party members: Celestine Elizabeth Pendragon, ???

---

Huh. That was new.

"Oh!" Celes tilted her head, staring off into space. "So this is what you see?"

"Hm?" I looked over and said, "Did you get the message too?"

"Yes." Celes nodded and looked thoughtfully in front of her. "...But it seems that this will be difficult?" She looked around and said, "We have no escape route, and Yui is not a combatant..."

I paused to think. "Well. If the only objective is to keep Yui safe, that should be doable with you hiding her. But..."

<Black Kite> let Celes perfectly hide herself and one other person.

But that left me.

If it was just a group of thugs, I wouldn't be afraid. But the mission explicitly said 'assassins.'

Meaning that they were trained killers. Facing them...

Celes noticed my uncertainty and said, "Shall I face them, Sen? If you are afraid, I can return the divine armament and face them on my own."

"Absolutely not." I shook my head and said, "I don't want you getting hurt. Even if you might be able to beat them."

Celes was superhuman. I'd noticed that recently. And Cici confirmed that she was a Mary Sue in terms of her abilities-

'Yep! 100% true.'

Right. So she should be fine. And Cici also mentioned 'my girls' that I recruited got plot armor.

But plot armor only meant they wouldn't die, not that they wouldn't get hurt. And the thought of Celes being even scratched because of me...

'Aw~ That's adorable! Then... I guess I'll help out this time!'

I blinked. "Wait, what?"

Celes looked at me. "Sen? What are you-" She suddenly stopped talking and stared at me with wide eyes.

No. Not 'at' me. Behind me.

"Whew! So this is what it's like to have a body again!"

A charming voice that sounded like mine, but more feminine.

I froze.

"It's not really the same, but it's still pretty hot! Teehee."

I slowly turned around.

An ideal beauty with light brown hair and clear blue eyes. A charming smile and a slightly above average bust. Curves in all the right places, accentuated by a skin-tight leather suit.

A face that had been burned into my mind because of the incident when I first experienced it.

'Sena Muraki.'

Except she wasn't.

Tilting her head to the side and sticking out her tongue, Sena... No, Cici giggled and said, "How do I look, Sennie-poo?"

...Right.

The updated mission log had a party list.

And in that list, there had been a name obscured by question marks.

I wondered what it was for, but-

[SYSTEM: ??? (Cici) has borrowed your Ideal Form for the Urgent Mission.]

Celes blinked and looked at me. "S-Sen? That..." She looked back at Sena- No, Cici and said, "G-Goddess? But..."

I could practically hear the gears spinning in her head.

And honestly, I felt the same.

But before I could say anything...

"Oh, right!" Cici giggled and gave me a sly look.

A bad feeling.

I quickly tried stepping back. But before I could react, she crossed the space between us.

A tight hug. Something soft brushing against my lips, and then something pressed into my mouth, tickling my tongue and leaving the taste of sweet chocolate.

I froze.

Cici stepped back and pumped a fist in the air. "Yes! Technically self-cest is wincest!"

I blinked.

Cici laughed and then looked at Celes.

That brought me back and I quickly blocked her. "NO!"

"Aw." Cici pouted and said, "Just a little taste?"

"Absolutely not! And take this seriously! It's a dangerous-"

*ding*

A soft chime.

The sound of an elevator arriving.

I froze and turned to look towards it.

Cici's smile faded from her lips and she moved to stand between me, Celes, and Yui. She looked at Celes and said, "Keep Lovely-chan safe, Celes. I'll protect Sennie-poo even if I die doing it."

I blinked and then frowned. "Wait, Cici-"

"Understood." Celes nodded. And then in the next moment, she and Yui vanished.

Cici tilted her head. "Huh. I guess the System nerfed us since I'm here? It's going to be awkward with Celes and Lovely-chan invisi-"

*BANG*

A gunshot.

Cici suddenly swaying to the side, shock on her face.

And I...