“Actually, having had more time to think about it, I’m pretty sure I’m a cis guy,” Hunter said.

“Huh. Okay,” Mel said. “In that case I’m no longer interested.”

“What?” Hunter said.

“You heard me. Get out of here.”

“Jeez. Rude. Okay, fine. I thought you were cooler than this, Mel.”

Hunter trudged out to his car. He still felt a little high, so he decided to just sit there instead of taking the risk of trying to drive.

In the later afternoon sun, the inside of his car was like an oven. He slumped over both front seats and just kind of lay there, ignoring the pain of a plastic cupholder digging into his thigh.

Gripped by a sudden anger, he went on the Discord and removed everyone besides himself as mod. Then he went to the #gender channel and posted and then pinned a new post.

BigGoron5: Trans women suck and I hate them

He watched angry responses pour in and deleted each and every one of them, then kicked everyone who left one. Finally, he was left with a nice, pristine server where no one was angry. Even if it was literally only him left.

His job done, he lay back and let the heat of the sun engulf his body as he faded out of consciousness.

Later that day, a police officer patrolling for traffic violations–one of many essential and valuable jobs performed by our men and women in uniform!--noticed a young man lying face down in a car, not moving. He knocked repeatedly on the car door and, not getting a response, used his maglite to break open the window. The young man was unresponsive and had warm, clammy, reddish skin.

The officer radioed in to dispatch. “Hey, we have a young Caucasian male passed out here at 69th and Stoner. Probably heat stroke. Also, he has a bunch of cuts from shattered glass. Can you send out an EMT?”

Satisfied that his job was done, the officer thoughtfully left a ticket on Hunter’s windshield and moved on. Unfortunately, by the time medical help arrived, Hunter had tragically passed away. The moral of the story: Never leave a person in a hot car. That’s all for today. God bless.