CW: Explicit language, mentions of drug use/abuse, mentions of emotional/mental abuse, mentions of self-harm, ableist language.

Another double update weeeeeeeeeeeee~

These two dumdums are so dumdum

:D

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When he returns to his senses, he finds himself in a room not dissimilar to his own quarters. Timeworn stone walls, a coverless cot, and a surprising number of collected junk precariously piled around like termite mounds. There is however, no window, so he is unable to fathom the time of day (or night). It’s disorienting and stifling, and he immediately rouses himself to try the door.

The ancient wood groans under the sudden pressure, but does not give.

Jun sighs and rubs his face, exhaustion settling deep in his bones. He glances down at his palms to find them covered in dried blood. He grimaces and rubs them against his shirt.

He spends the next few hours going through the junk, trying to find anything useful. Unfortunately, his pick locking skills are subpar, and it doesn’t take him long to abandon that endeavour. All the while, he refuses to linger on the reason for his imprisonment.

He definitely does not linger on Rin and his wretched expression.

The broken wires slip from his numbed hands. Bounces across the ground. Jun stares blankly at the stubborn lock, his nauseated stomach roiling.

“Young master?” A muffled voice breaks through his stupor.

Jun starts and presses his ear against the wood. “...Mira? Mira is that you?”

“Young master.” Her relief is palpable, even through the obstruction. “Are you well?”

“Yes, I am fine. Mira, the Marquis…is he…”

“He is alive. The injury was not life-threatening.”

The lord near collapses against the door, stuttering heart lurching back into life.

“Young master?”

“...And Rin?”

“He is with the Marquis.”

Jun swallows the hard lump in his throat. “Mira, I did not attack the Marquis.”

“I know. It would be most uncharacteristic of you.”

“He tried to negotiate a deal. Status in exchange for Rin.”

“And you rejected this deal.”

“Yes.”

“Young master, please step away from the door.”

“You will not free me.” Jun straightens up, pushing his blood-stained palm against the door as if to keep it in place. “You will return to your post.”

“...Young master?”

The lord stares at the whorls in the wood. He can see the maidservant in his mind’s eye, her concern stark upon her face. He offers her a reassuring smile, even though it goes unseen. “Now that I know of the Marquis’ true intent, I must carry through my original quest. I must remove him from the Slums.”

“Allow me to assist you.”

“You can assist me from the shadows, as you have been doing thus far. For now, I must remain close.”

“Why so? If you allow me to rid of him, it would be done by sunrise–”

“There will be no more blood spilled!” Jun snaps. In the terse silence that follows, he calms himself and softens his tone. “No more blood, Mira. We must go through legal channels. Discredit and rid of the Marquis within the confines of the law.”

“Very well. What do you propose, young master?”

“The Tea. Mercy’s Tea. I suspect that this has something to do with Marquis and I intend on finding the source. When I find the evidence, we will have him arrested and imprisoned.”

“We do not need evidence.”

“It is not just about him, Mira. It is about the Slummers. This district. Ga Ram and Kang Dae. If the Marquis is responsible for their suffering, then he should be justly punished.”

“And if you find nothing?”

Jun glances down at his hand, lips tugged back in a tight grimace. “...If it means saving lives, then I will consider other means of deposal. As a last resort.”

“Even the Governor is not bound by the laws he champions. Very rarely is anyone.”

“I have come to understand this. But no blood,” Jun adds quickly. “No violence, Mira.”

“While violence is the quickest route, it is hardly the only one.”

“Thank you.” Jun pauses, wishing he could see his most faithful ally. “Thank you, Mira. For standing by me. And for tolerating my folly.”

“I have tolerated your folly since you were a child, young master. I do not see an end to it.”

There’s a quiet moment of amusement, shared between the two old friends.

***

The day descends into night and the little lord drifts into an uneasy sleep. Hours may have passed, or perhaps mere minutes, it's difficult to tell in this windowless room, when he finally opens his eyes. In the dim, he sees Rin sitting on the edge of the cot, staring into the void. He holds a rusted key loosely in one hand. The other clutches the front of his shirt. Fingers white.

Jun sits upright and pulls his love into his arms. The latter’s form is stiff, unyielding, but not resistant.

“I lived in this room for months,” Rin says, hoarsely. A large calloused hand strokes his scarred cheek and finds it cold. Colourless.

“Were you…imprisoned?”

The raven gives a near imperceptible shake of the head. And then, after a thought, amends it with an uncertain jerk of the shoulder. “I chose to stay. But the choice felt to me like life and death. To leave Korain, to leave this room, was like dying to me.”

Jun glances down. He can count almost every long black eyelash flickering against his love’s pale skin.

“Ever since I left this room, I’ve hated small places,” Rin continues, his voice barely above a whisper. “In a way, being drugged during my Rosebud training was a blessing. I only ever had to be scared of one thing then.” His lips twitch into a rueful smile. “It’s funny how badly people want me in a coffin. Although in a way, this room feels worse to me, because I chose to step into it day after day. Even when the door was kept unlocked. How stupid was I?”

“You were being manipulated. I do not believe you chose to live like this willingly.”

“I know.” Rin raises his head, meets those austere goldens with his own dulled gaze. “He wielded my emotions like a weapon. Used them against me. Back then, I felt things so much. It was like being battered from the inside on the daily. Like I was being flayed and salted. And I could do nothing about it. But him…Korain. He knew exactly how to take advantage of the chaos. And then Luna happened. Freed me with his light. And this time…”

Rin reaches up and cups the side of his little lord’s face. Feels his warmth. His presence. His breath shivers. “You tore down his mask and I could see his true face. I realised that the changed man I saw was just a pretty dream.”

He presses a tender kiss on the corner of Jun’s mouth. “Thank you.” And there’s the smile, the brilliant, brazen smile that shines brighter than Solaris at midday. “There are qualities to a blueblood, I suppose. You’re so damn good at being assholes, you’ve made it into an artform.”

“That we have,” Jun huffs amusedly, returning his love’s sweet kiss.

Rin rings his arms around Jun’s neck and rests his head upon his broad shoulder. He misses this. The sturdiness of his little lord, like a soaring mountain disaffected by the elements of time. And he, a mere rat who dares live in his shadow, given shelter from the perils of life.

This rat feels Jun’s strong arms slide around his waist and squeeze him in an embrace. He lets out a satisfied sigh. “I tried so hard to be like you,” he murmurs. “I so badly wanted things to be as they were. Before Slowane. Before the Marquis. When he saved me from drowning and it was just him and I in this palace. With everything spread out before us. When everything felt new and possible. So I trusted him. And…not surprisingly, all I got in return was disappointment.”

“I apologise, Rinnie,” Jun says, glad that the raven is unable to look upon his face. “I am to blame. My naivety and arrogance endangered you. Verily, I do not expect forgiveness–”

“It’s not your fault,” Rin sighs, bumping the distressed lord’s cheek with his forehead. “I already knew you were an idiot. And anyway, I kinda like how much you wanna trust people. Really, this doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would, being betrayed by Korain again. I’m just…mad.” He laughs loudly, the forced sound bouncing off the shade stained walls. It’s jarring to the ear. “You’re the only person worth trusting. I won’t extend the same courtesy to anyone else. Not again.”

Jun frowns tightly, unsure of what to make of this statement. But how could he dare to contest?

“Don't look so worried,” Rin hums, nipping on Jun’s ear. “I’m a genius, remember? I know exactly what I’m doing, even if you don’t.”

Cheeks darkening, Jun mutters something incoherently before quickly clearing his throat. “May I ask. Those chaotic emotions you described earlier. Do you suffer from those still?”

Rin leans back. He plays with Jun’s tousled brown locks, sweeping them from those gorgeous golden eyes that seem to only ever see him. Like the raven is his entire world. His everything.

“No.” Rin’s voice catches in his throat. He coughs and tries again. “I don’t…really feel things as strongly anymore.”

“Does it trouble you?”

The youth glances at the ceiling in contemplation. And then, returning his gaze to his little lord, he gives a short shrug. “It’s not like I have much control over it anyway.”

There’s a clean strain behind Rin’s eye that betrays his anxiety. So Jun doesn’t push. Things are too delicate right now.

“I spoke with Bellow,” Jun confesses, softly. “About what happened. Though he is unclear on what had transpired during your…Slowane binge. I am aware of whatever you may have told him.” He swallows hard, lashes slipping low as he averts his gaze. “I apologise. I felt like I had to know, to know what kind of man the Marquis truly is. Though that does not excuse my trespass.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Rin grouses, giving Jun a sharp slap with his fingertips. It’s hard enough to sting, but nothing more. “Don’t do that again.”

“Yes, Rinnie.”

The raven sighs, pushing the tension out of his body. “But I get why you did it.”

“Bellow spoke much about…your obsessive trait.”

“Mn.”

“He believes that I am taking advantage of you.”

“Bell’s a moron,” Rin scoffs, picking at a frayed thread on Jun’s shirt. He purses his lips in irritation. “Even if it were the case, so what? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“ Most definitely not.”

“It’s just…how I am. With people.” Rin yanks out the thread and tosses it aside. He glares up at Jun, reads his perplexion. “It’s different with you, alright?”

“Is this why our ideas of commitment differ? You struggle to be monogamous?”

“Not exactly.” Rin pauses, struggling to find the words. “If I like someone, in that moment, they are…right. They feel right to me.”

“I think I understand,” Jun says, slowly.

“You don’t have to,” Rin says, pinching the lord’s cheek. “It’s the same madness Dasom had. I suppose you could say it’s how I learned how to love. Korain and I…we just learned the same twisted brand of love that somehow fit together perfectly.”

“And with me?”

“When we first met, you were this idea that shined so brightly in my head. And over time, as it does with everyone else, you dimmed. Difference is, you didn’t disappear. You stayed. Like the scar on my back. And I can't get rid of you, no matter what I do.”

“And I will stay forevermore,” Jun says, teeth peeking through his wide smile.

Rin hums a laugh, gently running his hands over the lord’s back. He feels for his scars, raised against his back like his own. A signature of his devotion.

“The way that you love so strongly,” Jun rumbles, relaxing under his love’s caresses. “It reminds me of Paramour.”

“What’s that?”

“The god of ardour. There is a tale about his origins as a mortal youth, who loved so strongly he cut pieces of himself to gift his lovers. However, as expected, this only served to repulse them, and the gifts were rejected. His love went unanswered.”

“That’s it? What a shit story.”

“Well, he did find someone. Daejimo, the god of life and the natural world. During the celestial rebellion, Paramour met Daejimo in her mortal form and fell in love. He gave her the final gift he could ever give, his heart. And so he perished for this display of devotion. Daejimo, touched by his gesture, raised Paramour from the underworld and carried him to the stars where he ascended as a god.”

“...He sounds like an asshole.”

Jun chuckles, unsurprised by the other’s reaction. “I thought it was rather romantic.”

“The guy cuts off bits of himself and gives them to his lovers as gifts? Is he sun-touched?”

“This is but an allegory. You should not take it so literally.”

“It’s a stupid story with a stupid ending,” Rin huffs, slapping his palm painlessly against Jun’s chest. “Tell me a better one next time.”

“Yes, Rinnie. My apologies.” But his eyes are gleaming and he’s smiling too widely, and for the first time in a long time, Jun feels like he can breathe. “Perhaps we can both learn to love the right way. A way that is not harmful to others or ourselves. We need not be like Paramour, sacrificing our own flesh to express our commitment. We could be those who nurture, rather than destroy.”

Rin twists his lips to the side, incredulous. “I dunno what you expect, but I suppose I’m willing to try.”

He blinks when Jun draws him close and kisses his forehead. Roses bloom in his cheeks, bringing long sought colour to his visage. He rubs at the tingling spot between his eyes, grumbling under his breath.

“Anyway, I’m not here to talk about gods or bullshit that’s already past,” Rin extricates himself from his lover’s arms, albeit reluctantly. He hops to his feet and gestures to the door. “I know you didn’t stab him, Jun. I knew it from the moment Korain told me what happened."

Jun blinks. "How so?"

"I stopped believing him the moment he tried to turn me against you." The raven smirks when he sees Jun's face rapidly darken. "Come on. You should leave before everyone wakes up.”

“I am not leaving."

Rin stares at him, brows rippling in confusion. “What? Why the fuck not?”

“Have you noticed how the Slums have changed these past several weeks?”

The raven raises his brows. “Yeah. I suppose I have.”

“There is a new drug being distributed in this district. Mercy’s Tea. Have you heard of it before?”

“Can’t say I have.”

Jun grimaces and swings his legs over the side of the cot. He rests his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together as he breaches the troubling topic. “Contrary to our belief, drug use has exponentially increased in the wake of Crow’s defeat. There is a new distributor and this time, the drug is potent. Destructive. Far more than any other, I believe.”

“I’ve noticed that more Slummers are high than drunk, which…has never been the case before.”

“I believe the Marquis may be responsible for this.”

Rin visibly hesitates. “...You think Korain is pushing drugs?”

“I believe that he has created a vacuum in the drug trade. And he has decided to fill it.”

“...That’s why we fought Crow and his Flock.”

“I believe his claims of Fledgelings trespassing his territory were fabricated, yes.”

“Fuck.” Rin kicks at the wall, scuffing the stone with dirt. His breath comes unsteady as prickling anger courses through his veins. “Fuck!”

“I plan to find the source of the Tea and eradicate the drug from Hanjuyang altogether.” A short pause. “And the Marquis.”

The irascible youth spins to face Jun, his glare as fierce as his mien. “And how the fuck do you suppose to do that?”

“Stay close. Ingratiate myself to him. Find out where the drug is coming from. How it is being distributed. Where it is being kept. Take a sample as evidence and present this information to the authorities. He will be tried and sent to prison before the season's end.”

Rin wrinkles his nose. “You mean the same 'authorities' who have arrested half of the Slums? That’s your plan? Really?”

“If it fails, then I will explore other means of achieving my goals.”

“...Fine. I’ll compromise. That’s what partners do, right? Compromise? We’ll do it your dumb way first, and then we’ll do it my way.”

“What way is that, exactly?” There's a hint of wariness in his tone.

Rin gives an odd smile as he straddles Jun and rests his hands against his nape. He pulls him in for a deep kiss, long and sensuous.

When they part, Jun swells with dark desire, and his question is quickly forgotten. He yanks the raven back for another kiss, hands roaming his love’s body, his want painfully clear.

Rin sinks into his little lord’s touch, losing himself in the tides of golden light, frothing and surging over him in relentless, heated waves. And just like that, this room suddenly feels light and just like any other, not mired by his memories. The darkness recedes. Shrinks. And vanishes.