Ever since I began to cultivate I wasn't able to sleep as I used to

Usually, when I went I went to sleep I would die

Yes die

But not literally but figuratively 

Every day for three hours 

I would completely lose my conciseness relinquishing any and all awareness of my surrounding in an untempered state.

I had no idea what was happening all around me sam at told at times that even earthquakes couldn't manage to wake me up

That was a huge problem in my opinion 

It was as if I had lost my mind 

On many occasions, I had woken in a puddle of my urine.

Once I had woke up to a nasty smell apparently I had wakened up in my own shit 

Sam had made fun of me for weeks for that 

For the past year, it had been none stop 

Every day like clockwork I would die 

This was irritating 

Sam had more than once told that someone could kill me in my sleep and I can't do shit about it

That was infuriating killed by my heavy sleep 

And usually, when I die I don't dream 

Most of the time I would not see or feel anything at all

I used to imagine what was happening to me when I slept like the dead in my dreamless sleep 

Did I just drift away into nothingness 

Or was I wondering the darkness of my own in a sort of personal hell for endless hours.

I had wondered about it for a long time 

The main point was ever since I began to cultivate I did not dream 

That was until now 

Now, here I was in the worst dream possible 

Or At least I think this is a dream 

Please God let this be a dream 

I was standing right in the middle of a massive crowd 

There were at least 10000 people 

A sea of people as far my eyes I could see 

I felt my feet glued to the ground and every time I tried to move forward or backwards or even sideways 

I found myself stuck on the same spot where I could only stare at the crowd 

I was in what can be only described as a massive huge cathedral-like palace 

I tried to look around there was truly an impressive amount of people all around 

But I wasn't feeling suffocated the opposite in fact I felt cosy and refreshed 

The crowd around was a mix of people of all ages I saw a young dashing man who looked no more than 18 and I saw old women looked ready to die at any second 

All of them were wearing white robes with a golden log embodied all over their robes 

Another reason I thought this situation to be a dream was I could see colours once again

And the crowd unlike the people I had seen up till now was a mix of black and whites 

The whites had green hair and yellow eyes they were very different to what I'd seen on earth 

But the blacks were the same though maybe taller and bulkier though 

But the majority of the people were women 

For every single male, I saw at least seven female 

The logo embroidered on their robes was of that of a bird spreading its wing art it was pretty close to an eagle but not quite there 

The bird was somehow very mesmerising 

I felt a sacred reverence and deep seeded fear when I looked at it 

The folks were standing there silently as if waiting for a signal 

The atmosphere was extremely solemn like it was some declaration of war or something 

If that was the case I was in some deep shit then 

Suddenly I heard something

I tried to listen closely then I heard music playing somewhere 

It seemed to be very far away as It sounded muffled like someone closed the musician in a room 

The music was getting harder to listen to as the people around me had started to talk and mingle around 

I think This was the Que people were waiting for 

But now the atmosphere was weird as the solemn tone still lingered as I could people were nervous 

I tried to concentrate in an attempt to listen to the tune 

I was expecting a solemn and sad vibey tune that would match the atmosphere 

But I couldn't have been more  wrong 

There wasn't anything sole or sad about the tune being played it was the polar opposite 

The music tune had a more upbeat and happy tone vibe like a celebration was going on 

Then was the crowd sole and nervous this thing is confusing 

Strangely enough, the music was growing louder until it was at a very comfortable pitch 

The music made me want to jump and dance out of sheer joy and ecstasy 

It was the best song I ever heard 

Mercifully my body wasn't complying with my mood and emotions as I was still rooted on the ground not moving an inch 

Suddenly my vision on its own accord shifted from the ground to the roof 

It was a massive dome filled with golden colour 

Up till now everything I noticed about the cathedral black golden walls, white marble floor and the chandeliers and flying glow balls all around confirmed that this was a very luxurious place 

Then I saw a strange scene,

I saw a middle-aged woman descending down from the middle of the dome 

I had no idea where she came from 

A moment ago there was nobody was there just a moment ago 

She was descending slowly and quickly if that made sense 

My perception of time was fucked 

To me, it looked like forever for the woman to come down before I could tell she was beautiful 

All around me the people evacuated forming a circle with me a circle 

What was going on

I once again unsuccessfully  tried to move 

My fucking body wasn't moving at all what is going on 

Within seconds of the clearing being made 

The woman landed right in front of me much to my surprise 

The woman took my breath away 

The woman was beautiful I mean drop-dead country destroying king dooming beautiful 

She was round with pink puffy cheeks that gave her the appearance of a young girl with a mature body with an amole rack and big round breast that were just perfect on her body

She had short black hair and dark brown misty eyes

She was absolutely stunning her beauty beyond belief 

And somehow I knew her I mean I really know about her

She seemed very familiar to me 

How and when did I get to know someone like her?

And what was she doing in my dreams 

The woman smiled down at me like a goddess 

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen 

The smile knocked a couple of the years from her appearance  

There was a lot of mosts today the music the cathedral and now this woman 

If I could I would have bowed down to her 

I would have gotten my knees and worshipped her 

I would have sung songs filled with praises Bout her 

I would have stolen all the poetry on beauty from my former world and dedicated it to my goodness who stood right in front of me 

She was so gorgeous that she could give any miss universe back on earth run for her money 

Hell any one of the goddesses such as Aphrodite, Hedone, Astarte wouldn't be able to a hold candle to her in my humble  opinion 

This woman was something else entirely 

I'm not even gonna try and describe what the rest of us could possibly do without because it would take an entire book

To sum up I can tell you right now I am in love with her

And that's not just saying anything; this woman is someone else entirely.

This woman has her own world,

 her own style the way she moved the way she smiled 

She was the kind being kings would go to war for or heroes would do dangerous and moronic things just to win her approval 

They would tear each other for her affection 

I wanted to hold her, worship her 

Be with her for eternity 

I would kill myself if she asked for it 

I caught myself 

That thought sobered me a little 

What the fuck was wrong with me

 

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Why was I in love with her?

My feelings for her were so strong and they scared me

I didn't think I'd even know what to say to her

How could she possibly feel the same way?

I had no idea how she felt about me, so why was I acting like an idiot in front of her?

hold the fuck on why the fuck would I start to think that 

what the actual fuck is wrong with me

since when did I get so worked over some beauty 

I've got to stop this

I need to find out how I'm feeling for her and then act as normal as possible around her until I can figure out a fucking explanation

in my experience beauty meant an asshole and snobbish woman I had long developed immunity to beauty and since my x wife's betrayal  I had no interest in women at all

wasn't this situation supposed to scare the crap out of me or something 

I mean it wasn't normal how quickly I fell for her and the way I felt for her 

and I guess it kinda scared me a little  but I needed to get a grip on this whole situation

so I have to calm down

it'll be okay

she won't hate me

this will work itself out

Oh my fucking God what was wrong with me 

I need to get out of here 

Far away from her as fast as possible 

As quickly as possible 

I tried my hardest to move to run 

Then she spoke completely interrupting my concentration  

Putting in a spell of sorts on me

She had a sweet and melodious voice  and soothing words

A voice that made me want to melt and stay in her arms forever

I fell in love with her voice I wanted to hear it again 

but a great sense of danger arose in my heart

when I looked past the sweet voice and comprehended what was said to me

"Hello, son are you ready?"

Did this woman call me SON

What the actual fuck 

Was this drop der gorgeous woman my no good dead beat of a mother 

Fucking hell