“Mistress! The master is returning home. A knight saw his carriage in town an hour ago!”
“Papa is coming back? He’s finally home!” Ivana rushes from the garden to the front of the house. There the servants were lining up to greet the returning of the duke. They wait for 10 minutes until a carriage arrives with the duke's crest. It rolls to a stop and out steps the duke.
“Papa!” Ivana runs to him. She was planning to jump into his arms but she trips on her dress. Suddenly her father disappears from the carriage and catches Ivana before she falls. Suddenly a gust of wind blows past her.
"Sweetie are you okay?" he looks down with concern on his face. "you have to be more careful." Hearing that, Ivana feels embarrassed.
"I'm fine Papa. Anyways did you come back with Ivana's new mama?"
The duke puts a strained smile and whispers into Ivana's. "Yes, Ivana dear, don't expect too much of her. Avoid her and her sons as much as possible."
Before Ivana can reply, a voice yells for her father. A fat, ugly woman stands in the doorframe of the carriage getting off. Behind her is a boy just as fat and a skinny one, who hides behind the fat one.
"Are we finally here mother? I couldn't stand being in that insufferable carriage for another minute," the fatter one spoke. Ivana looks at him in shock. She knew immediately that she didn't like him. He looked rude, mean, and like an orc. Ivana remembered the orcs from her previous life. They were fat green pig men, just like except he wasn't green. They also existed in Asterot, but instead of how they were viewed on Earth, they were human-like and also had females. They were one of the demon tribes so she didn't know much about them.
Suddenly the fat woman spoke. "You commoner right there, go fetch me some wine. I'm thirsty after a long trip."
"Right away miss. Should I bring it to the parlor?"
"Yes, you stupid commoner. Where else would I drink it?" The fat woman turns around to look at the duke. She puts on a smile, one so horrifying it would scare a celestial horror. "Deary why don't you take me inside. Show me your house. And leave that ugly little girl in your arms."
Ivana could feel her father's clenched fists and see his strained smile again. She knew that Papa really disliked this woman. Her father set her down and turned around.
"I'm sorry sweetie, but could you back to your room right now? I'll come to see you later and we can talk more."
"Okay, Papa." With that, her father left her and went to the new duchess to walk her around. Ivana turned around to head back to her room but a hand grabbed her arm stopping her from moving. She turns back to see the fat boy looking at her.
"You must be the wife that father got for me."
"Let go of me," Ivana says shaking off his hand. The servants still in the area begin to move quickly towards the two trying to break them away from each other while the skinny boy looks at them not doing anything. "I'm not your wife you fat pig. I'm Ivana the daughter of the duke!"
Before the servants reach, the fat boy raises his hand and slaps Ivana who fell to the ground. "Shut the fuck up bitch. My mother told me that you were born to a filthy commoner. You have no right to be the duke's daughter. You're only good to be my future concubine." He waddled away, with the skinny boy chasing after him. She glared at both.
Those useless dukes and their trash of children. I'll show them. They dare to insult my mother. Papa says she's the best and Papa's not wrong. I'll show them I'm better than anything they'll ever be.
The servants reached Ivana and helped her stand up. They felt rage at the boys and their mother. How dare they insult the princess of the house.
"Mistress, don't mind those ugly boys. From what I hear they are as stupid as goblins."
"I've heard the same. Anyways, we should back to your room mistress Ivana."
"Fine," Ivana huffed in anger. She begins the walk back to her room planning to show all of the newcomers in their house who the best was.
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Yes Votes: 19 73.1%
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No Votes: 7 26.9%
If more people read the comments make sure to spread the story. ;)
fat, ugly woman stands in the doorframe of the carriage getting off. Behind her is a boy just as fat and a skinny one, who hides behind the fat one.
Oh God no!
The duke puts a strained smile and whispers into Ivana's. "Yes, Ivana dear, don't expect too much of her. Avoid her and her sons as much as possible."
Wow I mean he is a Duke how much power do the Nobles have to be able to marry a 'used' woman to him. Like she brings sons into the family... And succession in Old times/Fantasy settings are a bother.
Sorry if 'used' is upsetting and or offensive.
Simple. Even if you're the strongest guy at school, with enough people and blackmail/hostages, he can still be bullied. They(the other dukes) want to take over his position to be able to force the king to make laws that favor them. Right now the best they can do are royal decrees and marriages.
We'll see later in the book when the original plan fails they'll force the first prince(main route) into a marriage with one of the dukes grandchildren.
So…how old is this fat kid? Since Ivana is supposed to be 5 at this point
How heavy will the game RPG stuff factor in? Is it vital? Minor point of interest/novelty? That kind of thing would be a good indicator of how many status screens should be used, if any, and how much detail is needed
Ivana remembered the orcs from her previous life. They were fat green pig men,
as a Skyrim player i must say that this information is wrong
Sorry never played skyrim
@Carpio well, to put it shortly, orcs are kind of muscular there.
@Jairo481 There are a LOT of different types of orcs. Jut can vary heavily depending on the story.
i'd say if litrpg then very vague. No concrete skills like [Fireball] 3 or such especially not for individual moves. But i'd like Affinities perhaps even levelable. like you are a stage 3 Firemage since your power and control over fire is such and such good. I'd also like elements to be versatile instead of a fixed move set, like of course people will come up with a fire ball but it can also be a spear or a eastern dragon depending how a person wants it/if their control allows it.
Now some notes on the story... can the pig family pls get a pen outside the main house? A detached building for the second wife or concubine wasn't uncommon in at least the stuff i've read.
On another note some advice on timeskips like between first and second chapter: try to establish a goal to follow during the timeskip. Example: In a timelapse the dude says what he's gonna do and presents his result in the end after unstopping time again. Of course you should need to explain what happened afterwards since we can't see the tinelapse part of your timeskip and that was kinda missing^^
Anyway good work! keep it up.
Please don't let her be a weakling against that ... thing, or from anyone at all for that matters ..
I would say to go GameLit, where you can be vague about exact stats and use it more for comparison.
Nah.. not unless you want to do data sheets then in that case knock yourself out provided Young Miss kicks their collective butts. ;)