Alec’s Pov

Just call me the crazy mother fucker that…Fuck! Forget it…*Walks away*

 

“Do you deny it!? You did this on purpose didn’t you!?”

With the old grumps words, I followed his pointed finger to my fox’s body. How dare he point at her, that’s just fucking rude!

But…

Right…

It’s exactly what I did!

“…So what, it’s not like I’ve thrown her away, she came here by herself! I came here to bring her back home!”

“Pfft, home!? And you wonder why your father was shot!” My father said.

Father was shot…Father was shot…

The past ended up flowing into my head so quickly, I felt all the anger that seemed to have accumulated all these years.

I felt myself start to shake with my fury and with my heartache of both my mother and father…My life!

“You know what, fine!”

Weren’t they all the same!? Why would I want someone from the Peterson’s family!?

What a fucking idiot!

I suddenly felt dirty…

I spat on the ground, after looking at what I had taken to bed all this time, feeling even more crazier than before, “I did plan this from the start, I was even going to ransom you. Exactly like my mother!”

Do you feel my heart breaking!? That is because my mother was gang raped! Do you feel my heart shattering into a million fucking pieces!? That’s because I saw my father with a bullet in his head!

“You never listen you little shit! I hope you grow up real soon and understand what really went down!”

 

Grow up? How could I, when you guys killed my parents uh!? Who can grow up properly in that kind of forced fucked up situation!

These…These Peterson’s were all fuckin trouble!

“Ha! The Peterson’s would probably understand better than the Jackson’s!” I spat out, willing to show the old grump how angry I was!

I wanted to punch him so hard that I was shaking. I clenched my hands and jaw, wondering why I was holding back from doing whatever I fuckin pleased!

“I know a person tried to tell you what happened, but you always didn’t want to listen!”

Dammit, how can you be so fucking angry at me! What did I fucking do!? This is just so stupid! Do they not know anything!? Will they deny this to the end!? Will I never get retribution!?

After thinking of this, I couldn’t help but rush up to him and take his shirt, as he had done to mine.

I was so fucking angry that I was losing my mind! How the hell had a been happy with this man’s daughter!? Just moments ago, it felt…It’s all lies! Their whole fucked up family are lies!

And when I see…Her…Move to stop me, it hurt me more, it made me feel more fuckin crazy!

“Oh! So…After all this time, now you’re a happy little family uh?” I said this, yet…Her face…

For a moment I completely forget what’s going on, as I see her face showed something…My sweet, little fox, why are you looking so sad?

 

“We know what you do, you mongrel! You’ll go to prison sometime soon!”

Prison? I smirked…Yeah, that’s right…I’m a bad man. “Then why am I not in prison now?”

Then I saw him smirk back at me and say, “Just you wait!”

Right…Yeah…Prison…

I steal people and have even ransomed some of them off…

Suddenly…My life…It was hilariously funny!

Those kids coming back, even though I’m a bad man. I take people who are starving and feed them…

What the fuck was I doing!? What am I fuckin doing!?

I…Was…

I looked at…Her…And felt so much loss that I didn’t know how to deal with it. “I’m gone! Fuck standing here with you two pieces of shit!”

I never understood…

I still sort of don’t…

But, at this moment, I felt completely worthless…

Perhaps…I was the piece of shit…

Ha! Who cares, I was gone from this dirty place! Let her stay here and rot, like hell I want her. A Peterson! Ha…

...Yet, why did I feel so bloody empty now…

 

Three days later, I finally leave the room, not sure how I had even made it home that day…Or even what happened in the last three days…

But, what I did know…I was done.

I had no idea why I did the things I did. It didn’t have anything to do with my mother or father’s death did it? So, I shut everything down and let everyone go.

What was the fuckin point of it all!?

Putting someone on to look after the warehouse, I pack up my things and go to my farm…

But…

Three days after being at the farm…I was done…

The people were nice to me…Why were they nice to me? Hadn’t I captured them and taken away their fucking freedom, are they fucking nuts!?

Everything was just fucked up! I was sure it wasn’t just me, it was everything!

Every dream, every want, every desire, every stupid fucking thought!

Staying at the farm didn’t work…So, I’ll try the city…

 

In the city, the murder of my father had become a cold case. Whether they forgot or couldn’t find evidence, the reason they stopped and never found the murderer or not, I had no idea.

When I walked in, remembering the first time I had come here in a blank state, I suddenly found myself completely lost…

Didn’t I want retribution? Didn’t I want to bring the Peterson’s to their knees and having them begging for forgiveness?

What…What is it that I want?

I knew I looked like a wreck, I hadn’t shaved or slept well at all, but it seemed enough for the police there not to take me seriously and I was told to leave.

Upon walking aimlessly down the street, I suddenly felt like laughing and found myself falling to ground and taking big gulps of air.

Crawling to sit against some building, I put my head in my hands and finally felt it…Lonely…

I was so fuckin lonely…

 

Without my mum and dad, I had felt like I had lost the world. I had gotten a few buddies and even found a few interesting people amongst the people I had captured. My life had started…In getting revenge…

Why had I travelled down the path of becoming friends with those people I’d captured? Why did…

I swallowed, feeling how dry my throat is, but not caring that I was thirsty.

What does it all matter?

I all but completely forgot my first plan!

I forgot!

Had I…Been moving on from my parent’s death? Had I actually accepted it!?

I harshly put my head against the brick wall and closed my eyes…

Did I even hate the Peterson’s now? Had I forgiven them?

When…How…

I let out a deep breath and pull my knees up and rest my head on them uncaringly…

…Why do I feel like my heart is ripped out of me then, if I was already moved on from my parent’s death?

Was all this because I was lonely?

 

I knew though, a small part of me knew all this time. All the dreams I had were of her, all the wishes I had were of her, my desire and needs…Thoughts…

And…I had told her that what I had originally planned…I had told her that she was a piece of shit!

I had…Gotten angry because of my parents, but…I had also gotten angry and sad…Because she wasn’t with me anymore! She had hardly said or shown any kind of interest towards me that went beyond sex…

Oh god…I wanted her to want me and was that why I just let it out, the plan, the name calling and leaving. Because I was upset that she didn’t want me!?

She…Ha…I had run after her for ages and then to capture her and detained her to a room for three months! I had then detained her in another room for another three months!

Pulling slightly on my hair…I felt like I had absolutely no right to even see her!

Even if it was on camera’s, I didn’t deserve her! I should have treated her like a princess! I shouldn’t have forced her into anything!

I forced her to eat, I never got her clothes, I made sure she was in my arms when we went to sleep, even when she pushed me off the bed!

 

Shaking my head, with the anger I had inside myself, I couldn’t believe that every other problem I had, they didn’t seem to mean anything to me now.

As…The only problem I had, was not being with my fox…All I had…Was a strange type of wire that had not left my wrist…

Oh right…It’s her ‘precious’…And that’s the only thing I have of her.

Touching it…I slightly smiled, feeling like I’ve won a small lottery. I did have something…It wasn’t much, and it’s probably all I deserved…

Putting a whole hand over it and putting my head back against the bricks in a sigh, I felt a strange feeling of acceptance…I guess I had changed over time but had never realized it.

My beautiful fox became the most important thing to me and I had blown any kind of future with her into smithereens!

Well…

I got up and felt a strange type of refreshing feeling overcome me…

Since I know my problem…I guess I better deal with it now…

It was time to go back home. I’ll put her back in that room, just, the only way to do that would be with pictures…Oh and recordings…

Scratching my head, I knew it might be difficult to obtain her beauty on only photos and videos of her, but, I suddenly got a goal again and I felt like I desperately needed this goal!