Chapter 6 – Regrets
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I get startled when she calls my name, then her lips take mine. Then I put two and two together and quickly turn my face away. “Of course you must be knowing. Must be following me all the time I guess. That’s how you must have popped out of nowhere and killed her too.” I growl and wriggle my wrist to free myself from her grip. “Let me go, you murderous bitch.” She just flashes a proud grin at me. I don’t want even a hair of her to be touching me right now, but here I was, being kissed all over my face. “Get off me you whore!” I scream out.

She gasps out loud. She lets go of my hands and pins my chest down with one hand while the other slaps me across my face. It felt like being hit by a hammer. “I tolerated being called a bitch.. A cunt.. My love, but I am not a whore. You understand?” Before I could even grasp the situation, her hand came across my other cheek again viciously. I grunt out in pain. I feel sapped of my strength completely and I could feel a metal taste in my mouth.

I finally regained enough strength to look back at her. “So now, you resort to violence? I won’t give in. I will never accept you.” I scoff at her before turning to my side and spitting out blood. She just smiles in response. “Sometimes.. Lovers need discipline.” She leans down and kisses my lips, forcing her tongue in, earning a groan out of me. “And.. you are being a particularly difficult lover, darling” She gives another smile. “I’m sorry, my love, but you’re going to need to learn that you can’t call a woman, especially your woman, those words.”

‘I won’t give in.’ I mentally remind myself. “I am no lover of yours! If you think all it’s gonna take is one or two slaps, you are mistaken.” I glare at her with burning fury and rage. She looks as if she is playing a menial game with me which only fuels my rage more. “Sure you are. You just don’t know it, sweetheart.  You are my baby boy, I will take care of you, don’t worry darling” She grins and starts kissing my face, cheek and neck while grinding her butt against my crotch slowly.

“Stop spouting nonsense, I will never be yours...I will never accept you… You are the one who ruined my life. Go ahead. Have your way with my body but you will never have my heart.” I blurt out quickly, trying to jab at her mentally. I spit to my side once again, smirking at her. I was reminding myself not to let my mental guard down again. “Hush now, little one.” She says, almost condescendingly.

She sits up straight and stroking my cheek, adds, “You are saying tough things because you are scared. I understand that. I am scary after all. Don’t worry darling. You’ll be safe with me. I am going to hold onto you forever.” I click my tongue in annoyance. I don’t like how I am being treated."You think I am scared? I was.. at one point. Even if it means that I'll die if I don't accept you, then so be it." I try to shift myself under her in vain.

“You know what I see when I look at you?... A poor, lost soul who’s been severely mishandled these past few years… He hasn’t truly been loved before, and is so desperate, that even if he doesn't show it, he'll fall in love with anyone that treats him well.” The smile on her face only grows.

“Tell me, my dear prince, what will you do when you get to the city? The same city that exiled you for murder. Do you think they'll accept you back with open arms? Or will you just be sold again? I know you think you can handle it now, but that toughness is just the bad thoughts talking. Tell me, in a few years, when you've been worked to the bone, where you can't even stand properly at such a young age, and where you haven't had a good meal since today, will you regret choosing to go back to a city that doesn't want you, instead of coming home with a woman who does?"

I listen to her speak at great lengths, then I remark “You are right about that, I am lost and mishandled and was.. am treated like dirt, like I don’t even matter  and whose damn fault you think it is? I don’t think any lover would do something that might end with the other being sold as a slave. If that’s what is meant to be your lover, your sweetheart,” I glare at her before continuing “I’d rather get broken again, getting worked to the bone, with barely any food to fill my stomach than to come with you. I will never regret that choice. I am sure of it. I am never gonna accept you, not now, not tomorrow, not in a thousand years!”

She strokes my hair, and smiles. “You are scared, my dear boy. You keep talking about dying and whatever, but I can tell. You don’t want to die. Not at all. That’s why you don’t want to come with me. You think I will kill you. That’s what you said earlier, didn’t you? You said I am a murderer and you don’t want to live with the constant fear of that. My dear love, you are contradicting yourself aren’t you?” “Yes I wish to live, just not with you. I’d just die if there’s no way other than to live with you. I would just happily kill you if I was given the chance.” I retorted.

She giggles, “I accept that it’s all my fault. But I am offering you a chance to change all that. To be something more than a mere commoner slave. You are trying to throw that all away. Why? Because you like being a slave? Because you think you have something to go back to? The girl's family hates you. Your father is upset because relations with her father have been turned to dust. Even your dearest mother says she only has two sons now. They don't even care about you anymore. Even your cushy master who you served loyally for years is content now that he's gotten a portion of the meager price you sold for.”

I choke on my words when she mentions my family. It has been some time since I have heard about them and I certainly didn’t expect this. I didn’t believe her at all. But Some part of me did take her words seriously and I became sad for a moment that my own family has given up on me. Even my master who I looked up to.

She shimmies back, now sitting on my thighs, one of her hands grabs my crotch. I glare at her as she says, “I am the last person who cares about you in this world. And I won’t see my beloved die, or become a slave, or be hated by anyone he cares about.”

"You speak as if you haven't exactly done those things. Still doesn't change the fact that you are the one who caused it all. If you were that much in love with me, you'd have looked for other options. Not just slit someone's fucking throat and then disappear. That just shows you are a crazy lunatic, nothing more. ” I let out a sigh, at the end of my wits and strength.

She sighs as well and she stops, looks at me. Her amber eyes finally for once show a bit of confusion and her expression, complicated. It looks as if she’s debating over a huge decision. She gulps down hard, her hand now finds my shoulders. “Look. I am sorry.” She apologizes, in the most sincere voice I’ve heard from her in the past day.