And welcome back to the first ever Uno tournament! For those of you who aren’t familiar with the specific tournament rules, the game is played with six people sitting in a circle. For this tournament, to prevent secret communication, we have enclosed all players in a booth with cameras, and the players are only allowed to stick their hand out to place a card on the table. The first person to get rid of all their cards wins the match for their team! The first team to win three matches gets to advance to the next round, while the losing team gets literally dropped into … “The loser’s pool.” For general Uno rules, please consult our website. And now introducing our players! On my right are Adam, Sofia, and Lidia from Zamenhof High School! They have called their team “La Fina Venko”!. On my left are Tom, Dick, and Harry from Meza High School! They have called their team “The Perdistoj!” And now for a word from our sponsors…

“Hey, do you think that they will really win us the championship?” Mrs. Lenhart asked Mr. Instruisto in the staff lounge at Zamenhof High School.

“I don’t know,” he replied back. “Frankly speaking, I’m only the advisor of the Uno team because they need an adult to supervise the club. I really don’t do much.”

“I really hope they win. Because of the terrible economy, a lot of us teachers have gotten the pink slip. Even if they only get second place, our school will receive a million dollars! And if they win the championship, we can get ten million!”

“Well, we can only pray. I mean, isn’t Uno basically a game of chance? What kind of strategy can you employ for such a simple card game?”

“Yeah, I agree. I feel this is almost like a very convoluted lottery.”

“I get the feeling that Adam, Sofia, and Lidia treat it as so. I mean, I was unwilling to spend the $100 for the entrance fee, since the school is strapped for cash as it is, but then they gave me the money and said that if they win the tournament, they demand ten percent of the winning fees in cash. I honestly didn’t think much of it, and since they seemed so eager to join, I agreed. To think that they will get this far though…”

“Doing shady business with the kids? My, Steve, I thought you were more honest than that,” Mrs. Lenhart said with a smile.

“Hey, the match is about to start!”
“Trying to change the subject? Well that’s fine, I’ll just ask you later.”

…and like past matches, Adam and Sofia are sitting next together while Lidia is by herself! Is there some kind of strategy to this? Who knows! It’s definitely working for them! So all players are seated, and in the clockwise direction, we have Lidia, Dick, Sofia, Adam, Tom, and Harry!

The TV screen is split in half, with the right half showing the table, and the left half is split into six, showing each participant and their cards.

And we begin with the first card! It’s a yellow four! Lidia swiftly puts down her yellow six! Dick follows with a yellow reverse! A yellow eight! Harry puts a green eight! And Tom goes for the attack with his green draw two card, forcing Adam to draw two cards and skipping his turn!

“Hey, Steve, I really don’t see the entertainment value in this. The announcer is just literally saying who puts down what card.”
“Well, why do you even like watching Texas holdem championships? Isn’t the same thing?”

“It’s different! Since everyone can’t actually see each other, they don’t need to maintain a poker face or anything like that, and you don’t get to see anyone do some brazen bluffs, unlike poker.”

…and the air horn went off! This is the 23^rd time Adam has accidentally passed the 10 second timer for his turn in this tournament. As a reminder, timing out three times in a match will get your team disqualified. No need to think that hard! Adam is forced to draw an extra card as penalty and skips his turn, despite actually being able to put down his blue nine card! Sofia puts down her red six card and has only one card left!

Uno!

And there she calls her Uno! Can the Perdistoj prevent her from putting down her last card?
“Wait, hold on, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Adam just happened to time out. If he played that blue nine, Sofia would be forced to draw a card,” Mrs. Lenhart said.

“But how would Adam know about that? There are cameras in the booth, so we know they didn’t do anything suspicious and they can’t see each other.”

“Telepathy? Secret communication device?”
“I heard that the booths they are in are Faraday cages to precisely prevent the secret communication issue.”

“Well I don’t know. It just seems suspicious to me.”

And Sofia puts down her final card, a red zero!

‘AHHHHH!!’

And look at Tom, Dick, and Harry scream as the floor beneath them gives way!

The TV screen cuts to an image of a large pool with “The loser’s pool” written on the wall.

Look at the Perdistoj swim the swim of shame! After the commercial break, next up will be team “The White Knights” versus team “Giant Squid!” Stay tuned!

“Yeah, we won!” Mrs. Lenhart shouted mirthfully. “I must say though, as much as I complain about this UNO Championship, at least it’s better than some sports, since you at least won’t get doping scandals, or have someone trying to do something like fix the world series. That being said, the fact that UNO is such a simple game means there isn’t much in terms of strategy.”
Little did she know that beneath the kid-friendly façade lurked a game full of strategy, as well as a game full of cheating, threats, and backdoor deals.