After a very painful two week-walk, our heroes... I mean friends... Wait, Richard is there too? ... Our... Heroes and their companions, which includes Seth, Twig, King Lacial and his Servant, Richard and ... Well that's it really, have finally reached the Tavern. I understand that certain people, i.e. the reader, would love some insight as to why exactly the journey took so long. Richard actually had nothing to do with it. He dislikes walks, especially the pointless ones that take two weeks of his precious time. What can I say... He just doesn't like people stealing anything from him, and in his defense: be reasonable, who wouldn't hate that?

What irks Richard more is that they technically couldn't have walked the wrong way since the main road is one straight line, covering the entire Kingdom. Well... For some weird reason everyone felt like they needed directions and asked the Towns’ Idiot. Why, you ask? Because the Towns’ Idiot knew the Kingdom better than anyone of course! But naturally, his highly intellectual scrambled mind became a bit fuzzy at the end… Well, fuzzy is perhaps an understatement. You could best picture a walnut, one that went through a blender. Then replace the blender with an elephant, and the walnut under it with a cute fluffy bunny. Then you subtract the two from each other and you'll get a very confused giraffe. If you double that giraffe and replace one of them with two squirrels and a long lead pipe that balances on the other giraffe. Then you have almost a fraction similar to the chaos in the mind that the Towns’ Idiot currently operates with.

Seth: So, this is the Tavern?
Twig: No, that's the mayor's office.
Seth: Why do we need a mayor when we have a King?
King Lacial: Exactly. That's why this place is a tool shed.
Servant: The King loves to name stuff. Be satisfied with that explanation and be done with it. Makes you avoid nose bleeds for a year. Trust me, I know from experience.
Seth: Like the City of... What?
King Lacial: Quite catchy isn't it?
Seth: That is one way to look at it…

Behind them is the Tavern they were looking for. It's called the Mildly Mad Cow, and an actual cow is hanging as a signpost at the front to emphasize it.

Seth: How could we have missed the cow? We had two buildings right in front of us and we picked the tool shed as our first choice.
Twig: Beats me…

The party enters the Tavern, which is quite dully lighted. Spooky perhaps even. The walls are painted black and even though the tavern is supposed to look like a wild western themed tavern, seeing as a cow... Well, you already know about the cow, it looks more like the deck of a pirate ship.

Servant: The Bartender is very progressive. Some say he is a few hundred years in front of his time. Although others claim the opposite. But who are we to judge? Hey Jony Daves! How are you today?
Jony Daves: YARRRR Servant! How is me matey?
Servant: Quite dandy I guess. Can we have some milk please?
Seth & Twig: I thought you said lemonade a chapter ago?
Servant: Nah you just imagined that.
Seth: Err…
Twig: Don't punch the guys that saved your life Seth. Just think of them as being a little... off.
Jony Daves: Here's the best milk you can get in this Kingdom. It doesn't say much though. As cows are hang-
King Lacial: -AHEM?
Jony Daves: I mean... This is the best milk anyone could ever afford here on the salary of the generous King Lacial.
Servant: But I'm the one paying my month's salary for it.
King Lacial: Semantics.
Servant: ... Thank you my Liege. I'll be looking that word up.
King Lacial: Consider it a gift of gratitude for me making the milk affordable to you, rather than threaten you to pay for the first round.
Servant: Like the time you told me that you wouldn't threaten my family to drown in milk as long as I keep accepting words I don't know of as "payment" for the "salary" I get to "spend" to "give" a "round" to "my friends"?
Richard: Woah those are a lot of sarcastic quotation marks.
King Lacial: Is this true Servant? Were you attempting to be sarcastic towards your Liege?
Servant: My hands are just cramping, my Liege.
King Lacial: For your family's sake I hope so.

After the first *gulp* of the milk and after a thankful nod towards the Serv-- I mean King Lacial, a strange moment of calm hovers above our heroes. Suddenly everything turns black as if our friends’ minds were fleeting away from their bodies like a bunny from a hunter who hadn’t had his coffee yet, and ruthlessly decided that the bunny would be excellent to sell to a Tavern of sorts. The irony in this is that the Mildly Mad Cow doesn’t serve any rabbits. So the metaphorical rabbit would have been fine, if it wasn't a metaphor. But alas! Poor, poor rabbit, and therefore poor, poor friends…

Twig: Am I still ... alive?

*Silence*

Twig: No narrator? Also, what was in that milk?
Not so mysterious, but strange voice: Like... Can you hear me now?
Twig: I can, who are you?
Not so mysterious, but strange voice: You can call me Jill. Heya dude!
Twig: Nice! Call me Twig, where are we?
Jill: Well, like, I was at the bar, drinking the usual and chatting with my girlfriends. They're here too!
Incredibly girly voice: Hiiii!
Another incredibly girly voice: Heya sweetie!
Twig: Can you please have shorter names? They hurt my eyes when I use my dark vision!
Incredibly girly voice: That is like... SO offensive! Call me Tiffany.
Another Incredibly girly voice: Yeah, why should I? You're a jerk! Like I'd listen to you.
Twig: All right, all right I'm sorry... Please introduce yourself Another Incredibly Annoying Girly Voice.
Another Incredibly annoying girly voice: I'm Beth. You're right about him being offensive, Tiff. But I think someone else insulted us…
Twig: Nice to meet you. So, where are we?
Beth: Like I care. I got my girlfriends here, that's all I need!
Jill and Tiffany together: Woo!
Beth: We can like, talk to each other forever here without actually having to flap our mouths, it's like we're all thinking and hearing what we all think and hear together. It's SO a-ma-zaah!
Jill: Yeah, like... Before, we had to flap our mouths up and down and we were always fantasizing about just using our thumb or something. So that we still can show we're still a little human but that's just a stupid fantasy, and then suddenly we're telekinetic!
Seth: You mean telepathetic right?
Jill: Oh yeah, right! Thanks little boy voice!
Twig: Heh... good one.
Seth: Call me Seth. What is this place?
King Lacial: It's the dreamworld I think.
Seth: Are we all here?
Servant: I don't think so... I haven't heard Richard yet…
Twig: He didn't rob our bodies or put our souls in his bag, right?
Servant: I doubt it. He fainted just like us. And maybe it's better that he's not here. He hates losing his consciousness to anything or anyone. He's a winner.
Jill: Like... What are you guys talking about?
Twig: Nothing to break your little head over.
Jill: Ok, thanks little one!
Twig: How do you know I'm little?
Jill: Your thoughts feel low to the ground.
Twig: Just think of colorful flowers... Colorful flowers. Bumblebees…
King Lacial: Oh hey! I’ve got a visual!
Seth: Woah, as do I. Is it the Kingdom of… What?
King Lacial: Yes, it is. See: That's my castle, and over there is my castle in ten years!
Seth: Why can we not visualize our thoughts and dreams in this place like you can, King Lacial?
Servant: Probably another law.
King Lacial: Well, I AM King, duh.
Jill & Tiffany & Beth: Duhh!
King Lacial: Oh my... Could you girls be my angels! Lacial's Angels?
Servant: Shh, King Lacial. Remember the fourth wall could possibly be very thin here.
King Lacial: Woops.
Seth: So how did we all get here? And is this like a weird dream state? Are there more than one? Can we sink into a deeper dream state and can we create anything we desire there, by the cost of our minds becoming incredibly old while we still have young bodies?
Twig: …
Servant: …
Girls: ... What?
King Lacial: Preposterous. What kind of books have you been reading kid?
Seth: What if the cow milk as actually goat milk?
King Lacial: Nah, such nonsense I haven't heard in Ages. I know what's wrong…
Seth: No, listen. What if all this has something to do with counting sheep. Counting sheep and going into a dream state has something to do with goats not being sheep. Goats and cows are both on farms. So logically speaking it is the goat milk that put us into this shared dreamlike state!
Twig & the girls: ... Whut??
Servant: Since the Narrator isn't here, I will fill in *ahem*: "King Lacial watches Seth with the most passive aggressive angry look he could ever give a person. He had once given this look to his Servant when he was convinced that he put thirty-eight ice cubes in his, King Lacial’s, Piña Colada instead of thirty-seven, which left King Lacial too cold for words and actions. So, the passive aggressive angry look was born."
Seth: ... Is this one of these scary moments where I am almost about to die Twig?
Twig: Most certainly yes.
Servant: Just apologize Seth…
Seth: Then... I will swallow my pride. Sorry King Lacial.
King Lacial: Good. Now there is a perfect reason for all of this. Just don't look at the man behind the curtain!
Twig & Seth & the girls all look at the curtain that suddenly appeared out of thin air and nothingness and cry out at the same time: Richard?
Richard: Err... Did you guys want your privacy back?

And so, everyone returns, including me, to the Tavern and all have lots of food and drinks on Richard's tab since King Lacial gave him the angriest look he could muster.

Seth: Hopefully the next chapter will be less ridiculous than this one.
Twig: It was all a little far-fetched, wasn't it?
Servant: Anyone wants a leek in their dodo soup?
Jony Daves: Stop breaking walls in my tavern! I’ve only got one left!
King Lacial: Your name is a pun.

And with that the tavern crashed and we're ending yet another chapter of Spellbent.

Current Seth Exp: 638
Current Seth Battle victories: 2
Current Completed Quests: 1
Dodo's slain for the Leeked Dodo soup: about 3

Servant: They were Wiki Leeks though. Good brand.
Seth: I completely forgot about the quest exp rewards!
Twig: Yeah... Lack of enemy encounters does that to ya…
King Lacial: Be glad this isn't a book about a boring grind fest where you first grind to level up some levels, then grind for gear so you can get better gear so you can get better gear, after which you level up some levels, so you can get better gear so you can get better gear so you can get better gear, after which you level up, so you can get better gear so you can get better gear so you can get better gear so you can get better gear, after which you level up some levels, so you can get better gear so you can get better gear so-
Twig: Can you please stop that?
King Lacial: Why? It's been proven it doesn't bother thousands of heroes to have a grind fest like that while still worshiping the makers. I'm totally in my right.
Seth: I hope we never ever have to wage a War of Words with King Lacial.
King Lacial: Already won that. Though the Evil Wizard in the Evil Tower on Evil Mountain is something else…
Twig: Oh my, actual story progress in its worst form... Spoilers.