Thirty-six
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For the hundredth time, Kevin settled himself on his bed with his homework; for the hundredth time, he read the same paragraph, but it still made no sense to him. For the hundredth time, he gave up, went back to pacing restlessly around the room.

Deanna knocked quietly on the door, and crossed the room to hug him.

“Are you okay? You're broadcasting pretty strongly...”

“Sorry.”

“That isn't what I mean, and you know it. What's wrong?”

“I don't know. Something's wrong, but I don't know what, or where, but I can't get it out of my head.”

“Jess?” she asked gently.

He sighed. “I was trying not to think that.”

“Give up on the homework. Come on downstairs.”

“Well, I'm not accomplishing much up here.”

Past Jesse's empty room, a constant reminder of something rarely far from anyone's thoughts anyway. The equinox was just past, it was less than a week to Jesse's birthday...

How under the sun had he made everybody love him so much, that two months later they were still worrying about him all the time?

He found no more peace in the cosy dining room with his coven-mates, Flynn intent on a jigsaw puzzle on the table, Cynthia curled up in one corner of the couch with her current knitting project, Bane dozing furform on the rug by the woodstove. Restlessly, he picked up the brush from the ledge by the woodstove, and sat cross-legged beside Bane; he had to smile when the wolf woke at the first touch and helpfully rearranged himself so Kevin could reach him more easily. Deanna claimed the other end of the couch and retrieved an oversized book lying open and face-down beside her, revealing a notebook under it—research for something, apparently. Kevin concentrated on brushing Bane's heavy fur tangle-free and shining-soft, always a popular pastime for both wolves and friends.

Even that couldn't calm him as it usually did. He laid down the brush, and got up. “I'm going for a walk.”

Bane growled halfheartedly, and went back to his nap.

He made no effort to decide where to go, simply let instinct lead him where it would, trusting to his own deeper self to take him where his conscious self couldn't.

A wolf snarling, somewhere ahead... he knew wolves well enough to recognize it as defensive, not aggressive.

He ran down the rest of that hill, up the higher one in front of him, and found a small black wolf—with two unnaturally large grey wolves at his heels. The black wolf staggered, all too obviously exhausted, but he still spun around clumsily to attack. The grey wolf slipped to the side, got around behind him and snapped at his flank, and the other mirrored it. Jess tried again, with no more luck; the grey wolves weren't going to let him stand and fight. They drove him back into a faltering limping run again, matching his speed without letting him slow.

Kevin felt pure heat surge along every nerve—a sensation he recognized, the wild mad ecstasy of power, stirred and fed by strong emotion. He'd learned the seductive joy of it along with the satisfaction of taming it under Thomas, surrendered himself to it with Rebecca, and mastered it again.

This time, he was in control of it, not the other way around.

He crossed the road so he was directly in their path.

Jess almost hit him; he stumbled again, this time fell and simply lay there, sides heaving.

Kevin stepped between Jess and the grey wolves. They were neither werewolves nor true wolves, mage-sight told him, they were constructs, mage-made, something that he'd only ever heard of as a theory since it took immense amounts of power and a high level of skill.

“Come on,” he told them, his voice dangerously quiet. “Try to get him now.”

They hesitated, pacing back and forth; their programming probably didn't include what to do if they were confronted directly by someone other than their prey.

Gisela darted out of the trees, and made directly for Jess. Somehow, he wasn't surprised she'd felt the same call that had brought him here. The healer dropped to her knees beside the collapsed black wolf.

Kevin reached into the sunlight, let that combine with the rage, felt the brilliant heat of more raw power than most mages could hope to survive unscathed.

Part of it he used to shield Jess and Gisela; he heard Gisela whisper, “Uh-oh, brace yourself, Jess.”

The rest, with no attempt at shaping it beyond directing it to its targets, he turned loose on the two constructs. The intoxicating strength of it washed over him; what he knew would have put most mages on their knees in agony was to him an electric high.

The constructs, with yowls of protest, melted back into the formless solid-energy masses they'd been made from, then even that disintegrated back to its natural state.

The power was still there, begging to be used, there wasn't anyone who could stop him if he chose to take what it offered...

“Kev?” Gisela said softly, her voice shaky. Not afraid, exactly... but not far from it.

Grimly, he leashed the power, channelled it away, back into the sunlight. It obeyed; it was himself he had to fight to do it.

He turned around, and scooped Jesse up carefully, using enough of the lingering power to lighten his weight. “I'm okay, kitten,” he said, surprised at his own hoarseness. “I'm not going to lose it.”

“I was starting to wonder, for a minute, but I didn't really think you would.”

“Near miss, but not quite.” That faith felt better, in a way, than the ecstasy of being at the heart of so much power. With his arms full of a weakly-struggling wolf, he had to shape the gate with his mind alone. He waited for Gisela to step through, then followed. The road vanished, replaced by the solid familiarity of the living room.

The rest of Sundark were in the dining room still, but everyone was talking at once; when he and Gisela came in, abrupt silence fell, then came a dozen questions all over-top of one another.

“Be quiet for a minute,” he told them sharply, and laid Jess down on the now-vacant couch. “Is he okay, 'Sela?”

She perched on the edge, rested a hand on his side, and closed her eyes. Hob jumped up to investigate, unsurprisingly, but Cynthia picked him up and held him in her arms where he could watch without being in the way.

“I think so. He's hurt in a few places, but nothing really bad... there's traces of some kind of poison, it did an awful lot of damage before his body recognized it and countered it, I don't know what it was, they must've had poisoned teeth, these look like bites. Mostly just exhaustion. Kev, they must have chased him for hours! It's a wonder he made it here at all!”

“Who chased him?” Bane demanded, more than a hint of growl in his voice.

“I'll see what I can fix, but mostly he just needs to sleep. And not do much when he wakes up. At least he can't run away again for a while, I don't think he'd make it out of Janicot.” More silence, no one willing to break her concentration while she was intent on healing.

“That's all I can do,” she pronounced finally. “Can you take him to his room?”

Wordlessly, Kevin gathered him up again. He heard Gisela tell the others to stay there, then she joined him.

Gisela flipped back the blankets, so Kevin could lay Jesse down again, this time in his own bed. The wolf stirred restlessly, and his form fluxed to human, Kevin didn't think he was even entirely conscious; he nestled into the blankets Gisela drew over him, and relaxed completely. Hob darted in the door, launched himself onto the bed, and curled up next to Jess, glaring defiance of anyone who might dare try to move him again.

On some level, he knows he's home safe. Gently, Kevin brushed raven-dark hair away from Jesse's face. I promise, Jess, I'm not going to make you sorry ever again for trusting me, just please give me a chance...

“Your turn,” Gisela said, and motioned to the loveseat. Kevin decided not to argue, sat down and let her examine him.

“No more stretching for a couple of days,” she told him. “You've got a mild case of backlash, it's been a long time since you used that much power all at once. Why don't you stay here and catnap a bit? I'll explain to your coven and make sure someone brings you something to eat.”

“Okay.” He coiled himself so he could rest his head on his arm, his arm on the loveseat. Gisela settled a magesilk blanket over him, kissed his cheek fleetingly, and left the door ajar a couple of inches for Hob behind her.

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