'Inner monologue: aaahh… how relaxing… it's been a while since I've had a dream about swimming, though, I hope not to wake up to a wet bed…but still, flowing with the river is nice, I feel as though I could spend an eternity here.'

"Voice: That is because your soul is being renewed in preparation for a new journey. You should be experiencing a euphoric state of mind, without being bogged down by a physical body."

'Inner monologue: Hmm…a soul without a physical body…ah, indeed I didn't even notice…but I can't seem to be able to get nervous or anxious about this. Hmm…right I'm Valentine I am?was? on my last leg due to cancer, though since I'm here I can just relax and go with the flow.'

"Voice: You can indeed continue on your journey and let the universe guide you to your next life, whatever it may be, though I would like to extend you an offer and set you on a path to a destination you would very much appreciate."

"Valentine: I'm already enjoying a nice swim or should I say a nice float coz I seem to lack a body."

"Voice: Ha, ha, that is true, the journey matters as much as the destination, and that is the beauty of my offer to you. See, we have a common passion you and I, we find the worlds of novels alluring to emerge in, especially the ones delving into crafting and farming. (voices' tempo rising) Oh so so many possibilities arise from creation compared to destruction. So much to learn, experience, advance, connect to and more… OH! SO MUCH ENTERTAINMENT!!!

"Valentine: You sure have a passion I'll give you that and I do?did? like to let my imagination run wild. Soo… you want to set me on a course of creation…hmm…a slow life of cultivating the earth, cooking, crafting and helping people? Are you a deity?"

"Voice: Why yes indeed, my realm is mostly related to entertainment though. Ah, you should accept my offer hastily before the river washes off any more of your memories, fear not as I can set you up with great boons for your fun new life (chuckle)."

"Valentine: A long slow life of growth and peace would be nice this time around. We already share a passion for novels and you probably know better what I'll really need at the new place, I'll put my thrust in you."

"Voice: Alright, just reach out your metaphorical hand, and we'll shake on it. Don't forget to make your life interesting this time around."

Valentine shifted his form to reach out of the river." Is this okay?" A black hand clasps the extended part of his soul, slowly engulfing it in a black layer.

"Voice: Yup, just got to apply a protective layer and guide you in the right direction, you just continue to relax and everything will be fine…he, he, he."

"Valentine: I think it's getting even more comfortable here (yawn). Maybe a nap (yawn)." His soul became dormant enveloped in a black cocoon.

"Voice: Sleep well as it may be the most peaceful moment of your soon to be ENTERTAINING life. (Grin) I am very much looking forward to this show, wonder if it will get on the trending comedy listings or best pranks. He, he, hope it won't break him too soon. Now then, just need to buff him with the "promised boons"…hmm…hmm…standard language acquisition, let's give him some cooking job levels since he wanted crafting…ok and last but not least binding half of his soul to my masterpiece. This is the very definition of divine level "boons" if I do say so myself, I'm sure he's gonna love it.

----

Alarm playing (Awake and Alive by Skillet).  

Pov Valentine

"Yawn… uhh, (lazy mumbles) who put that damn alarm on loud volume". 

I turn towards the sound and with bleary eyes reach for the glowing screen on a nearby nightstand. Swiping the screen a couple times has silenced the music playing. I rub my eyes and stretch some more, trying to get my body to wake up.

Though, I feel both, clear-headed and drugged with sedatives at the same time. I lay for a couple minutes, trying to get the feeling of my body under control. Getting my vision back, I look up and around, frowning. 

"This ain't my room or the hospital, at least it doesn't smell like it, so WTF!? Whose tablet is this and why don't I feel any major discomfort?"

I take the tablet and turn it on, it's not protected and has an email opened, addressed to probably me.

'Greetings Mr Valentine.

I hope you wake up feeling like a new you, because quite frankly, you are waking up in a new body and yes, I accept your heartfelt gratitude.

You are welcome! Now, as dreams are quite fleeting things, let's remind you what's going on. You have agreed to embark on a new life journey, with my support! (clap, clap, clap). To achieve this, your soul has been bound to your new healthy body and your very own headquarters. 

Think of it as your domain, where your word is Law. Very OP, I know. Check the apps on this tablet for functions and management of your HQ, it is connected to the main terminal and, like most equipment here, can be repaired/replaced for a price, when needed.

Have a ENTERTAINING life!!!

Kind regards.  

D.E.'

"Deity of entertainment, so that river dream was real. Haaaaaa….well... it was coming sooner than later. Actually, isn't this a dream come true? A healthy body, divine support…ha, ha, ha, ha I can become one of those OP characters with a silver spoon in their mouth. Right, new life, means new me. 

This time let's do it right!"  

I close the email, as there isn't an option to reply, and start opening the apps on the home screen.

**HQ Statistics**

• Ep [total 0]
• Mp [total 1000|gain 100/day|loss -55/day]
• Owner - Valentine [Human Lv 1, Artisan Lv 5]

Active functions:

• Surface camouflage |-15 mp/d|
• Dimensional gate |-35 mp/d|
• HQ utilities upkeep | -5 mp/d|
• Mana gathering array |+100 mp/d|

*Mana points (mp) - absorbed from natural world energy, increases in density with depth.  

*Entertainment points (Ep) - divine energy granted by D.E. for satisfactory submissions.

"Hmm, I am hidden from prying eyes, have a portal to somewhere and passively generate resources... good, good. 

[Human Level 1] sounds like a starter character. I wonder, what does D.E. wants from me for his divine energy. 'Satisfactory submissions' reminds me too much of my university days, it should be explained in the next one."

**Submit for D.E.**

{Dropbox for any ENTERTAINING audio, video, image files etc.}

*Valid submissions are to be recorded by you or an individual designated by you. The contents must include your interaction with the locals, or be performed by the locals for your sake.  

*Invalid submissions will results in penalties, including: reduction in mp, Ep, available HQ facilities etc.

"Do cat videos count as interacting with locals? Or does he want me to star in movies and write songs? Hehe.. I can work with that, but he must hate spam, to put in a warning about penalties. Is it to prevent the abuse of the system?

This shouldn't be a time sensitive mater, since I asked for a life of crafting and farming. I am feeling giddy with excitement already, to demonstrate my awe-inspiring skills and knowledge to this new world!!! Ha, ha, ha... Ok next."

**Dimensional gate**  

Gate 1 status - open.  

Destination - assorted food production dungeon.  

Difficulty - easy to medium.  

Operational cost 35 Mp per day. 

\*Open new gate.  

\*Close existing gate.

Closing the gate would likely only remove operational cost. Opening a new one … that looks like a 10k mp figure, which is 100 days of passive mp collection ... with 0 mp usage."A year maybe. Tch, cheapskate." I will have to investigate the benefits and risks of this dungeon. It should be a collection dungeon with no monsters, since I wished for an easy and slow life. I feel a small amount of apprehension once again, and glance at the difficulty description, sighing audibly " Oookey ... Next."

**Map**

| Open air dining | Drinks bar | - rooftop garden

| Kitchen counter | Dining area | - ground floor

| Gym | Baths | - basement floor

| Private quarters | Dimensional gate | Control room | - basement 2nd floor

'Plenty of greyed out floors and areas.'

Seems like this HQ is constructed to look like a bar or restaurant, with an open air dining rooftop and the rest of the structure is hidden underground. 

"Nice! I get both, magical and normal camouflage, no need to stand out with a giant tower appearing out of nowhere."

The access to the mana gathering array... it looks to be around 10 floors below ground "Not like I would know what to do there anyway. I must be in the quarters, this explains the utility costs, if I consider: air conditioning, heating, electricity, water…do I have WiFi or something? Next."

**Upgrades**  

Available:  

\*Add 1 portable mana battery S -100mp  

\*Unlock large cooking area -1500mp  

\*Unlock short-term storage area -500mp  

\*Unlock natural springs -1000mp  

\*Unlock the game room -5000mp  

\*Unlock long-term storage area -3500mp  

\*Unlock field/fruit garden area -5000mp

System upgrade - 100 Ep  

*System upgrade unlocks new functions and allows the improvement of the existing ones.

"I can feel a headache starting. Why is the game room so expensive!? WTF are these prices, all in all, if i get a net gain of 45mp per day!??? I also need 100 Ep, is that a lot? Is D.E. generous? How many cat videos would that require!?" 

'Hoo…hoo…deep breaths, right now I should head for the kitchen and grab a snack…if the kitchen is stocked. Yup, stress eating IS the answer to most problems, regardless what world you are on.

First a change of clothes, don't want to walk around in just my underwear and T-Shirt... Not unless I'm 100% certain my life doesn't go tits-up in the next day, or this day for that matter.'

I stand up from the bed and walk to the wardrobe closet, it takes up around 3/4 of the room's length (around 4 meters).

I am pleased to see my reflection in the large mirror. I whistle, while running my eyes over my new form.

"I look pretty much the same, don't I?. Around 1.8 m tall, maybe a bit younger, or is that just the lack of chemicals in my system?" If I can be generous I would say 25-ish, prime of my life, young man. 

"Some divine service to make me handsome and fit, would have been appreciated, at least more muscles is a must. I swear to ditch this 'hospital patient' look for good. Maybe I just need to Level up my Human lv 1 status? Right, thoughts for another day."

In the closet, I find an assortment of clothes: sportswear, chef's uniform, heavy-duty clothes, formal black suit, some winter and waterproof overalls. 

"It looks like I'm in a way better situation then a certain Kazutrash. Just a light sports suit to walk around will do for now."

After putting on my new gym clothes and sneakers, I take along a hoodie, in case it's cold elsewhere and walk out of the room, looking around everywhere. 

Above my door is a sign 'private quarters', I walk down the short corridor to an intersection. In front of me is a circular column of ~3 meters in diameter. According to the map it should be the main structural support, running through the whole building, and deep into the ground, gathering mana. Around the column is a winding staircase.

"Damn many stairs". On my left, I find a 'control room', it has the main terminal, that seems to have the same functions as the tablet, in addition to being able to create a new tablet for 50 mp, but nothing else of interest.

The following room is marked as 'gate room', and for the love of God and all that is holy, it resembles what I remember of the gate room in the 'Stargate' series.

"I am NOT dealing with an alien invasion in my basement today!... Haa...haa.. Yup! Better leave exploration for after I get some food."

I slammed the door shut turning around, and walk back to the staircase. As I climb the stairs I note that the next floor has the gym and bath areas.

"Healthy body, healthy mind... and I'm starting to come short of the latter."

Finally I reach the ground floor.

The sun is generously pouring in through the many windows all around. The outside comes across as a clearing in a city park: vibrant green trees, flat ground, short grass and no large, dangerous animals in sight. I trick myself to focus on the positive.

"The outside gives off a safe feeling, that's a major advantage."  

I walk past the counter and into the kitchen. "Clean and tidy, I like it."

The shelf are stocked, with the basic stuff one would usually find. Under the sturdy metal work benches, I find crates of vegetables. Opening the first fridge-freezer, I find meat cuts and a couple of whole fishes. The other one, is fully stocked with: veg, fruits, berries and milk products.  

"This all should stay fresh, for a good couple of weeks, maybe more if mana has any role in food preservation. At a glance, this all will last me for a month of healthy eating. ... Where in the hell are all the snacks hidden? I need junk food to be living for a long time!" 

'Sigh' I reluctantly grab a fresh cucumber, tomato, butter and bread, for a sandwich. I wash the veg in the sink and feel that the water is strange. Cupping my hands, I bring some to my face and recognise it, as something akin to spring water, but more viscous, almost clinging to my hands.

"Magical water, the utility bills will probably multiply, once I start farming...haaa"

Taking a chopping board I get to slicing. The knife is sharp and very easy to use, the cuts are perfectly sized and shaped. I am going to assume that the [Artisan lv 5] makes me a pro chef by default. After putting everything back, I rinse the dishes.

"I wonder if my body has any divine blessings?" 

I carefully nick my index finger. 

"Ack, my pain tolerance and toughness are the same as before, ...or... this is the holy kitchen knife Caliburn!?"

'Hmm...I don't see any super regeneration kicking in. Shitty lv 1 stats.'

"Where is my OP silver spoon?"

I suck on my finger in contemplation... 

"The water tastes good..ahh..." I empty a glass in one go and fill another. Grabbing my sandwich and water, I walk out and move up to the roof. Taking a seat at a table closest to the edge of the building, I enjoy the fresh and and the feeling of freedom. The season is either spring, or there is magical climate control.

'Note to self: check all devices, on every floor.'

I pointedly ignore my headache, that slowly builds up into a migraine, and focus on my tasty sandwich.

I glance beyond the tree line every 10 second, and do my best in convincing myself that my eyesight is terrible, and that I must've missed a pair of glasses somewhere in my room.

"This just doesn't make any sense..."

"(Ding, Ding, Ding)"

I get startled out of musings by the tablet, looking at it... 

"I seem to have received another message."

'P.S.

I forgot that you aren't versed in the matter of souls binding, so just take note of a couple of things: at the moment if you go any further than 3 km from your HQ ...(dramatic pause)... your soul link will snap! I can't recommend inflicting that much damage to your very essence, willingly or under any circumstances. PERIOD. 

As for the details, when you move beyond 2 km, you will start feeling the physical symptoms. To put it into words: try imagining every cell of your body being torn in half, not a big deal if you are a slime mind you;). 

Never fear, as this minor flaw can be rectified, with enough system upgrades! As a service, I have personally placed you near a sufficiently large population gathering, so that you can earn Ep at a rapid rate, and you can easily trade produce, from your farming and crafting.

(He. he. He. he...) You can say I even did you a great favour, as there are over 1000 young women within your safe range of activities, during most of the year.

Now then! Put on your best look and go enjoy a fun and ENTERTAINING life!!!'

I re-read the message a third time, each time, I feel as if my chair is on a roller coaster track, getting higher and higher, before you come face to face with the massive drop that makes you shit your pants, if you unclench your lower half even for a second.

And right now, I am clenching with enough force to turn coal into diamond, if I was sitting on any. All I do is mumble softly...

 "I didn't sign up for this bullshit."