Chapter 17 Being a tour guide.
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POV Anna

I find it hard to decide, whether to laugh at the absurdity of my statement or run away in panic. I bet that the girls are having a similar problem.  

"Anna: I'm not joking by the way. Haaa… So far nothing bad has happened to us over the week and even now. Besides, I'm not fully sold on the thing myself."  

"Tai: You are serious? Like, an alien spaceship with little green men? Did you find any of them?"  

"Yumi: Should we call someone? Like JAXA or the men in black?"  

"Anna: Honestly? I have little to no clue, as to the right course of action. He insists that there is a… kuhum… kill switch, that activates if he moves away over 3 km from this structure. If! If, the portal downstairs is really functional. He might be telling the truth."  

"Yumi: Oh, so if the ambulance takes him to the hospital… ."  

"Tai: Soo, no aliens here?"  

'I should have asked that too! There were none so far, but if the portal is real… wait, will we be the aliens then? Hmm.'  

"Anna: None that I have seen yet. I think the best would be to finish cooking first, then, if the injured is feeling better, question him a bit more. I think, he was not all there, the last we spoke."  

'Sigh, really… What to do?' Fortunately my friends are understanding enough to give me some time to go over my thoughts. And I have plenty of those. 'If he is stuck here, and only the 6 of us know of this place, where do the ingredients come from? The electricity? The whole building?'  

Missing a great many pieces of the puzzle, I get a broken picture full of holes. I am lost in thought until the improvised lunch is served. 'It's not bad, by far not as good as the chef's, but better than expected.'  

"Tai: Haa? I don't think my cooking is usually this good. Are these some kind of alien ingredients? I really can't tell if that's it."  

'Ah! The shopping backpack was carried out from the portal! Is there a farm on the other side? Alien city? Wildlands? Something definitely beat him half to death out there.'  

"Anna: You might be right Tai." I get a deadpan response.  

"Tai: I was joking to lighten up the mood."  

"Anna: Sorry. I was just thinking out loud."  

We are all a bit tense as we eat, each thinking about the revelations the day brought us. After finishing our meal, we bring down some chicken soup.  

'How lucky am I? To have such good friends, that don't run away at first sign of alien danger. Why is there music playing?'

"REZZ x Fytch - Toxin"  

"Yumi: Relaxing music for a good rest?"  

"Anna: Maybe he is up and got bored, or it's a ringtone?"  

We find a tablet in a drawer, flashing a notification.

---

EMERGENCY NOTICE.

Owner (Temporarily restricted) - Valentine [Human Lv 1, Artisan Lv 5]. Abnormal brain activity detected, abnormal mental and physical state confirmed.

Emergency treatment required.  

Confirm payment of 150 Mp.  

(Automatic confirmation in 6 minutes)

NOTICE.  

Due to: Owner (Temporarily unavailable) - The next available person with the highest trust value will be selected:  

Guest - Anna [Human Lv 1] (Temporary administrator access)  

(Automatic confirmation in 6 minutes)

---

'`Gulp, I don't like this. Not at all. Damn, I came to get some answers, not more questions! Haaa!'  

"Anna: I think it would be better to wake him up first, before we press anything."  

""Yeah.""  

We try to wake him up, but he is completely unresponsive to our calls and prodding. 'Oh shiiit… You should have called the ambulance from the start! Ugh, now there's only one choice left.'  

I try pressing on the first confirmation but it required an authorized access, with little choice I confirm both.  

"Tai: Eeep! He is glowing!"  

"Yumi: Is that the emergency treatment? Some fancy light show? How does that work?"  

'Fuuu, I don't think anything happened to me, that's good. I was worried for a moment there.' The tablet shows that the treatment will last for up to 8 hours.  

"Anna: It may be some alien technology. Looks like he will be out for a long time… Does anyone want to see the portal?"  

""Yes!!"" We can't help it but be curious about everything in here. Especially if it's a portal to another planet.  

We walk out of the room and I notice the other door and a |Dimensional Gate room| sign next to it, straight away. I point and ask the others.  

"Anna: Can you see that door?" The negative response confirms my assumption. You need authorized access to be able to freely get in, otherwise you only see a wall.  

"Anna: Ok, it's a hologram, probably. I'll open the door and guide you in. Ok?"  

We safety get in, eliciting surprise as I passed through what looked like solid wall. It still smells like fish sauce. ""Whoa. Is that the portal? Looks very sci-fi.""  

'Time to make it 100% clear. Stupid idea, but still… The first woman on another inhabitable planet, it does tickle my ego a little.'  

As the girls look around, I check the bloodied clothes, finding another tablet with a map open, and what looks like exploration notes taken down. 'Slimes, carrot-men, chicken-raptors? I can understand water source, veg. clearings and stairs down. Ah, there's another map, barely started one. Hmmm, tomato-fusion, potato-golem? Again that makes no sense.'  

"Yumi: Anna? What are you thinking? Don't do anything I wouldn't."  

"Tai: It doesn't suit you to be the reckless one!"  

True, I can't help but chuckle at that. Regardless I lift the axe to showcase my point.  

"Anna: See? I'm well prepared. Besides, he said that the beginning are is safe, and he got hurt exploring the furthest reaches. Judging by the map, some 5 km away. I'll just look around, see if it's real or not."  

I know it's dangerous and reckless and agree with the protests, but this may decide the future of Japan or the whole world. I need to know.  

"Anna: First let me go in and out, two steps, no more. You understand what this may bring about, don't you?"  

"Yumi: Doesn't mean it has to be you! We can call the government! Send soldier in there!"  

"Anna: And miss out all the fun! … It may get a bit dangerous to involve the higher ups right away."  

This is a dangerous secret, one we can't immediately decide on how to handle. After a firm hug from both of them I try chucking in the bloodied clothes. They pass through and disappear, I can freely submerge and retrieve the axe, followed by my hand. So, holding my breath, I walked in.  

It felt like half a second, I just passed the blue stuff, and walked out into a forest.  

I taste the air, finding no trace of pollution, if I were an astronomer I could try reading the stars, but for now, I notice that it is much later than late afternoon. I turn around and pass without problems.  

I get embraced within a second. "Tai: Gods! Everything is alright! I was scared! Even if it took some measly 10 seconds, I was worried!"  

"Yumi: Me too! I was worried about you! How was it? Is it really a portal to another planet?"  

"Anna: Calm down scaredy cats. I am fine… It was definitely a new place and the time zone was different, likely 4 hours ahead. As for being on another planet, I couldn't tell so fast. We could take photos of the stars, maybe, or take samples of plants? Simply looking around may give some clues, but not today, it's really dark on the other side, no artificial light at all. Just a sea of stars and trees."  

Not knowing if it is safe to go through the portal without authorization, I insisted that they wait until tomorrow. Checking on the unconscious man reveals that the glow has faded and his outward injuries are healing unbelievably fast. A bit more and he will look as good as new.  

That gives us some comfort, that we will see him recovered and ready to answer some questions. We have spent a lot of time relaxing on the ground floor, since we had told everyone of our absence anyway, and we needed some privacy.  

Meiko has come around late afternoon, just to be on the safe side, I have explained that the chef took some medicine and retired for the night. It was apparent that she wanted to investigate further, I'm not completely sure as to why. We have made ourselves in charge here, had her sit down for tea with us and released her with some sweets from the fridge.  

"Tai: How do we fall asleep today? I mean, there are a gazillion thoughts running rampant in my head! ALIENS! Here! On academy grounds!"  

"Yumi: Tomorrow, WE will be the aliens on an alien world! How should we feel about it? Will we represent all of Japan?"  

'I don't dare to imagine the possibilities, or I'll be a nervous wreck in a matter of minutes.'  

Feeling overwhelmed, we agree to keep everything to ourselves for the time being and returned to the dorms. I have taken the tablet with me.

'While I have access, I better get all the information out of it.'

POV Valentine

I wake up.  

I feel as good as new.  

'Did I have a nightmare?'  

I stretch, checking my body. I am perfectly healthy. "I didn't put any plasters on myself… Uuuffuuuu… Please, let it be my forgetfulness, please let it be a nightmare."  

I turn on the light, check myself and my surroundings. 'Clothes I usually don't wear, plasters and band-aids, plus the bag of meds.'  

"Fuck my life into pieces, this is hell. Fuck! Who the fuck kicked me in the head!?! Ah! Right, that fucking rotten pile of rice shit! I'll kill you! I'll fucking erase you from existence, if I survive this fucking fallout!!!!!! Shit! Did they sell me out?! What did I fucking tell them!? Fuck's wrong with my memory!"  

I panicked, I barely remember WTF happened after the fight. Some bits of flashes in and out of focus. 'Did I fuck things up? How do I live another day if men, in black suits, show up here? … What time is it? I'm starting.'  

I can't find my tablet, so I walk upstairs to get an idea of the situation. Luckily there is no military encampment around the HQ, no bullets come flying my way, or taser rounds.

It is early dawn, maybe 4 a.m. I check the kitchen. 'Yup, 4.45 a.m. Haa someone was using the kitchen. How much did I manage to mess up in a day? I don't want to see any rice for a week at least… Unless it's in alcohol form. Yeah, booze has no sin, just the people.'

I find and warm up some chicken soup. I need to clear my head, to organize my jumbled memory a bit, so, I go for a walk.

The fresh air helps. 'I definitely remember blabbing to Anna. How much and what exactly? Don't remember, but will find out soon enough, one way or another. And where the hell did my tablets go? I may have lost the first one in the dungeon, but the one in my room is gone too? Did they take it? Fucking shit! Can they even use it? I never gave access to anyone, hmm, or I don't remember doing that at least. Did I?'  

"Haa, fucking give me some combat skills! I can't fight everything with an axe alone!!! You sick fucking fish shit!!!?! THE RICE Fucker nearly was the end of me!?!!? Aaarr raaaa aaAAAAAA!!!!"  

I vent my grievances at empty air, receiving no reply as usual. I don't know what to do with myself, so I go to the gym, distracting myself from the impending shit show.  

An hour later I am exhausted, and head for the hot springs to melt in the waters. I sing: "I am a slime! just a carefree blob of water… hm hmm hmm, no need to think! No need to fight! Just eat some grass, it's all I need!! Hmm hm"  

"Anna: Nice song. An original?"  

"Valentine: Aaahch thhhhfoo cough, cough. Gods! Woman! I just barely survived yesterday! Don't go killing me in a bath! Haaa, haa. At least have some modesty and knock or call out. And why are in my bathroom in the first place!?"  

'Fucking hell! A heart attack and drowning in the morning, a perfect start of a day.'  

"Anna: Did both of those. You must have been underwater. We came early for some answers, and also to check up on you. You were quite unresponsive when we left you. It's good to see that the emergency treatment worked so well. Get dressed, we are waiting upstairs."  

'The emergency treatment? Oh… How DID I recover so fast? No bruises at all, or even a headache. WTF happened yesterday?'  

With little choice in the matter, I dry myself up and get dressed. I can't even run downstairs, as Anna is waiting for me outside the bathroom and I doubt I can overpower her, not like I can actually run away to anywhere.  

I am brought to a table with tea and asked to tell all the things I can. 'Well shit, why am I treated like a child? I'm mentally twice their ages! Even if some of my memories were erased! Haaa, can't tell them that I perceive this reality as an anime I watched in mine. That's some heavy shit one is better off not knowing. My death? Hmmm, not sure, no. Better not.'  

After asking about how much they already know, I question my sanity yesterday. With a heavy heart I confirm that, yes, I am physically stuck here. No there are no green little men running around. Not any that I have seen so far. I am surprised that Anna has gone through the portal yesterday. 'She has got guts, or not enough caution. HA! You took my tablet! I knew it.'  

"Anna: We would like for you to give us access to the system. I was granted emergency administrative privileges while you were recovering. Now that you are all healthy, it was revoked. Please add the 3 of us."  

'SSSHHHHHIIIIITTT!!!! HOW the fuck did that happen???? FY HQ for spilling the beans! Ugh my stomach hurts! They fucking know it all! Fuck!!!! Fuckitty fuck!'  

The situation is beyond me, even the building was acting like a drunk, and talking about my shit to everyone. There is no wiggle room for me. I accent to the demands and made to talk about the maps and notes I have taken.  

"Valentine: There is a lot of anime culture in Japan, so you must know about dungeons and monsters. That's what the notes are all about. I can't walk too far away from the portal, so I was left with the option to explore downward. I've found Earth-like trees and some animals on the surface. I'm not a biologist, so take that statement with a grain of salt. The dungeon creatures are definitely alien to us. Sentient, sort of, yes but not sapient. They are more akin to, well, I want to say RPG monsters, or more like living programs, holograms but solid. Some pack a lot of punch."  

I can't help but rub my head and face, remembering the hit is mentally painful.  

"Anna: We will go there all together, we talked about it, and we need to see the real thing. That's why we came so early. How about playing the role of a sworn knight, protecting fair maidens?"  

'Tch, don't give me that crap! You anime people are as strong as the monsters! I am the fucking fair maiden here! What fucking choice do I have now? Call the police? Haaa… Fuck my life. Where is my MC status? Cute cat girls? Busty or elegant elves? A waifu? Anything?'  

I look her right in the eye.  

"Valentine: My soul will be the first to extinguish, that I swear." 'The weak die first, so it's obviously going to be me.'  

Without further ado, I granted access to the trio and went to get changed into my combat clothes.  

We meet again at the gate, I have taken with me only: a backpack, my old trusty shovel and the axe. I look at the shield with sadness. It has served me well. 'Time to return you home.'

I explain to the girls my actions.  

"Valentine: It should be before noon out there, we can walk around a bit, if you want. The dungeon entrance is close to the gate. If you don't want me to use the word magic too much, think of the dungeon as a giant stomach, and the creatures inside, as the bacteria that breaks down the food." I look each girl in the eyes and continue."We are counted as food too. I've tested things. Inorganic and dead organic matter is broken down in a matter of minutes. Live insects in hours, small rodents in under a day… Someone good with math can make an estimate for larger beings… I don't plan to stay down there long enough to test that assumption. If you are ready, I'll be on the other side."  

Warning given, I go through. Nothing changed, except, there is a small amount of blood nearby. 'Ah. That's where my battle clothes were. I couldn't find them and spent mana to renew them.'  

After looking around for a few minutes, the girls emerged, all of them. 'Don't count on me to keep you safe. I barely survived myself.'  

"Tai: OOoo how does it work!? Are we really on another planet with breathable atmosphere?"  

"Yumi: I didn't feel any discomfort, is was like walking through a strange door. Just a step and we are here. How strange!"  

"Anna: We would like to walk around here first, is that ok?"  

"Valentine: Ok. But don't separate too much, I can't cover too much ground by myself, and I don't have my shield anymore. Oh, one more thing. If I shout to run, you run for your life regardless of anything. Unless you have firearms with you and are proficient at shooting? No? Eh, one can dream."  

I stay on alert. Usually I make little noise and keep my presence low, I don't know if this group can attract unwanted attention. Better safe than sorry.  

We walk around, the girls take samples of grass and tree branches, even soil is gathered into plastic bags. After half an hour we get back and head inside the dungeon. It's nice to see the awestruck look on their faces.  

"Anna: This isn't possible."  

"Tai: Is this an actual dungeon? Like in the novels and anime?"  

"Yumi: Yeah, I'll be using the word magic myself. Sounds more believable then a gigantic stomach."  

"Valentine: Pick a tree nearby. I will leave my broker shield there, that way you will see that it digests things. I will also cut down some thick branches, they will regrow by the time we are back."  

They pick a tree and I say my farewells to the shield that saved my life. I show the interesting places around. The slimes are blamed for not looking cute, like their anime counterparts. The loot system baffles the ladies, and honestly myself too.  

"Anna: What are the laws of physics on this planet? This should not be happening."  

"Tai: More importantly, if this is a fantasy dungeon, are there skills and magic?"  

"Valentine: I want to know that too, I haven't found a positive answer yet."  

"Yumi: Do you fight monsters for food with only an axe and a shovel? Why not seek out help?"  

'How else am I to survive? Living as a lab rat is no life.' I give her the look.  

"Valentine: I fight, because I want to survive. I fight alone, because I want to live free. When I'm too old or too frail to do either, the world is free to go to war for this place. I will dig my grave while there is peace… You should know that human greed knows no bounds. Even if a resource is seemingly limitless, there WILL be an asshole proclaiming that it belongs only to his people, in the name of god or country… Especially if there is a bottleneck, namely a 3 m circle that might be possible to fight over, or move to another country."

They know some of the world's history, that shitheads who fight for valuable resources always exist, with strength or politics, or more commonly now, with stealth and manipulation. We all know how shit people can be.

"Anna: We need time to think and test this place. There are too many unknowns and variables. We are basically walking blind right now."  

'Indeed we are. I'm so blind I can't see a way to get some fucking magic working! And I fucking know that mana is fucking all around me! I even see my Gods be damned Lv! So where the fuck is the skill menu?!?! The attributes?! The fucking standard shit!'  

When we get to the carrot-men, they try dialogue. Of course it doesn't work, and I do the usual disarming.  

"Valentine: They are more like robots, maybe if I get to a low enough floor, some of them will be created with better AI and even engage in dialogue. Thus far, it's only preprogrammed behaviour. Otherwise I'd have been long out of luck."  

"Anna: Instead of flesh or machine parts, they are made out of some kind of malleable energy. Once disturbed enough, it rearranges into something different or gets broken down and reabsorbed. At least that makes the laws of physics work somewhat normally."  

I have a little more trouble with the chicken-raptors, as I got used to replying on my shield. In the end we manage to get to the second floor. That is where the magic part kicks in.  

"Anna: Fine, I'll call this magic for now. I'm not that good with theoretical physics, so I won't claim to know how the space in here can possibly work."  

"Tai: There is a huge mountain underground! And clouds! Is there a sky? Any dragons?"  

"Valentine: Didn't see either, pretty sure the ceiling is solid rock. The third new monster here, has knocked me down good the last time. If you want to risk it, I can show you the first two. Till now the only mobile monster type on this floor is the weakest one, so it should be relatively safe if we use the tested routes. We will have to walk a bit further in and up the mountain though."  

They have a short conversation, apparently they went over my maps and decided what to do ahead of time.  

"Anna: There's enough time to take a look at the tomato monsters. If you are ok with that?"  

"Valentine: Honestly, after the beat down I got, I'd love to stop at the tomato monsters. I'll show you the fusion too, though it will be quick. I'll have to strike as soon as it merges to be safe."  

Coming to an agreement, we move along. I dispatch the little tomatoes, after the ladies have taken a close enough look at them. The fusion is dealt with swiftly, not getting the chance to react as I descend on it with a heavy strike.  

I see that they have a lot of contemplating to do, so we return in comfortable silence.  

As I promised, the tree has fully regrown the branches and the shield got reabsorbed by the dungeon. They took some more samples from the new branches and we left for home.

'Haaa… Maybe I'm not the MC? All the MC's get it going with a girl. I'm more of a henchman really. Haaa… Fuck my life.'

【A-L3】空想メソロギヰ/Kuusou Mesorogiwi【必然】

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