High Tide - Moona Hoshinova

POV Valentine

`Thud `Clang

"It is official. Mushrooms are my mortal enemies, there is no other way about this."

I repeat that line for what feels like a hundredth time this month. Each and every time that the shakes get to me and I drop something.

I wait for a minute for the shaking to stop, then pick up my shit and clean up. It gets fucking messy when the whisk goes flying.

"Haaa… Fuck my life."

I continue making tarts and other smaller desserts. With my condition being: "you fucked up big time", there is not much else for me to do. No monster hunting, no serious training, no running, no long walks, or even standing for too long!

Well… It's a good opportunity to finally put my whole focus on making special food that provides buffs! Only… How the fuck do I achieve that feat?

The potions were more straight forward, the water already had the healing property infused. How do I do that to my ingredients? How do I make them bestow strength buffs, or HP buffs, or anything at all?

"`Sigh, this is a pain in the ass." I don't have any other ideas, except for making things and trying to work my skills. As the saying goes: practice makes perfect. 

"The damn cats could do it. I am no worse than that one-eyed cat chef! For starters, I don't need to pay close attention to any fur getting into food." 

The shaking has stopped, and I continue my culinary pursuit. All the practice is a good thing, except even when making small portions, I still end up with too much food on my hands.

I'm not a complete piece of shit, so I won't just throw out perfectly good food. Instead, I pack everything into little takeout parcels and let the crows "dispose" of them. 'Out of sight out of mind. Haa… Games make this look too easy.'

.. .

`Crash! `THUD…

"UGH! FFfuck you."

I've used my skills too much and rested too little. A bad one hit me and taken away my feelings in the legs, causing me to end up on the floor. Luckily only one bowl was the casualty.

"Shitty hot spring, put up a fucking notice that you suck balls at repeated healing."

"Juliana: You ok down there? Should I take a picture and post it on the web?"

'Hardy har har…?… Hell. Hehe~ a fucking isekai MC slipped and fell in the kitchen WITHOUT causing an ecchi scene! Damn, I'd be a laughing stock of an entire generation of otakus. That would be a black stain on my reputation.'

"Valentine: Floor cleaning in progress, please walk with caution, there might be cleaners on the floor."

We banter for a minute, waiting for me to get my shit together and stand back up. Juliana helps me clean up, and I take a seat after everything is in order.

"Juliana: You ok?"

"Valentine: I'm used to it."

"Juliana: Want to go down and try catching a shell cat? I'm pretty sure that we can make one become a pet."

"Valentine: An acid spraying demon! I'm not getting close to those things, regardless how cute, or adorable, or innocent they may appear on the outside."

'They are the work of a Demon God! A damn sucker punch below the belt! I'm not walking into that death trap unless I'm at my best, and right now I'm at my fucking worst.'

"Juliana: Oh come on, we should start by draining away that acid and try keeping it in a glass aquarium."

We are just shooting the breeze, neither of us is stupid enough to try that shit out in reality. Besides, those things aren't real animals, but puppets of the dungeon.

I check the time. It's getting closer to late afternoon. 'Time to finish up.' The kitchen is put in order, everything is turned off, and I'm wearing my new clothes. Soon, I'll need to get comfortable for my luggage watching duty. 

"Time to sit down and watch the luggage! Yeah! Let's do this!" At the very least I get to enjoy some dungeon sun and relax on the shore. No clue as to how there is sunlight underground, in a dungeon, but I've suffered sunburn before believing that it's possible.

I fill up some water bottles, pack a little basket of emergency sandwiches, ready the gear that was left to dry, towels, sunblock, etc.

Today, they are heading to one of the five islands to gather samples, get exp and mana. Nothing new.

Our team consists of four explorers, one bodyguard and one VIP. Of course there are a number of scouts too, those gluttonous little shits.

"Kate: We are heading out. Be ready for pickup in half an hour."

The portal is almost at the centre of the main island, so the girls first make a sweep around our route to the beach. Any newly arrived monsters are taken out and the area is once again secured. After that we move all our luggage, inflate the boat and row to the neighboring island.

"Caw caw"

"Valentine: Good work, keep the area under observation. … Water seems to be clear of monsters at the moment, we are good to go."

A small inflatable boat serves as a slightly cramped transportation for our group. A bigger boat would have been nice, but at the same time more troublesome to keep the dungeon from eating it.

We keep diligent watch as the boat gets closer to the deeper area. The big monsters swim at a depth too great for us to see and probably don't even notice us on the water surface. However, the fact that an orca sized monster can sneak up and sink our rubber boat, helps to keep us on our toes.

I get the most luxurious spot after coming ashore, namely staying on the boat. It's too much of a hassle to deflate the thing and stack the luggage around me, so instead: the boat stays inflated, all the extra luggage is left on it and I'm placed at the centre as an anti-dungeon measure.

"Caw cacaw caw" "CAW caw" "Caw caw"

"Valentine: Nothing unusual this time. Unless it's hidden by the foliage. Good hunting."

The scouts confirm that there are no visible sightings of any boss monsters on this island and the exploration team, having dried off and geared up, bravely heads into that death trap.

I build myself a miniature roof for shade and just chill while the rest are working. Even the crows are fishing! Though, only for themselves, as there is no big fish in the shallows and the depths are dangerous for them.

'This should be a pleasant day. I should be happy to be in this situation. Relaxing while being protected, watching as others work. Haaa…why do I feel like shit instead?'

I don't know what I feel myself, just that I'm not pleased with the current situation and find myself lacking… Purpose? Motivation? Spirit?

"Valentine: I should bring a book with me next time."

"Yumi: Tired of the view around here? Hmmm… We could try to get a BBQ going here? The old-fashioned way, with real fire and meat!"

'Hm? BBQ… chicken, seafood, a few veggies too… I've got everything for the marinade, both the traditional and the more modern ones. A cooler for the drinks? Folding chairs...'

"Valentine: Yeah, I like that idea. A mini celebration party? We can use the ingredients from each floor to showcase how far we have come. I will ask the support squadron to keep watch over our luggage just to be safe."

"Yumi: One good get-together before the second semester starts!"

.. .

"Caw CAW Cawcaw"

"Valentine: 3 o'clock two Bana no Jutsu in the trees."

The monsters on this floor are more vicious and mobile. They move erratically around the island and try to get a drop on us. With the trees being thinner by the shore, it's not that difficult to spot them, and without the element of surprise they turn to easy prey.

"Yumi: Two? That's it? Tch, no fun. Two portions of banana squash coming up!"

I get infected by her attitude and pay close attention to the little sideshow.

One unfortunate banana is hit squarely in the head by a rock, and the other commits to a reckless frontal assault. It literally gets turned into squash under Yumi's war hammer.

'Yup, ambush monsters are shit in direct combat. I think that I can smell the poor thing from here. It must have gotten splattered all the way to the boat.'

I don't want to imagine what Yumi can do to a human with that big ass hammer. It sure as hell wouldn't be a pretty sight or a clean one.

"Valentine: Yumi! Stop wasting food! That one definitely won't be able to condense!"

"Yumi: It's fine! It's fine! I can get a bit of exp from the pieces here and good loot from the other one!"

I feel a slight bit of admiration and envy at how effortlessly she can waive that chunk of metal around. Rested and at full strength I can only make a dozen good swings before my arms and lungs start to protest. It becomes even worse if I actually hit something hard and sturdy. Not to mention that its weight dragged me more often than I was in control.

Hours pass with little excitement to them. I write down some ideas for the BBQ, go over the ingredients available and what needs to be bought from a shop.

The crows change shifts with the ones looking over the exploration team and start fishing too. Yumi gets to destroy a few more unlucky monsters and play on the shore.

All in all a very pleasant day on the beach.

... .. .

THE FINE PRINT | The Outer Worlds Song by The Stupendium

POV Mitsuko

"Student: Secretary Mitsuko! Hello! Good day! We are from the practical physics club! Can we have a moment of your time?!"

"Student: Please come, come, we have tea ready and some cookies too!"

"Mitsuko: Good day to you too. Mmm, sure, I have some time to spare."

'I have barely returned, and people already want something from me. `Sigh.'

I'm lead to the club room and served refreshments with snacks before we get to the matter they wish to discuss.

"Student: Can we ask you to pass these forms for approval? These are the budget requests for the next semester."

"Mitsuko: You know that you can just drop them off at the council room, yes?"

"Student: We wouldn't want to bother the heavenly duo for this!"

'The what?' "Mitsuko: The who of what?"

In response, I'm regaled with tales about my two fellow council members:

Will of the heaven.

Those who seek out guidance from the ASC President will be brought to a secret room to be judged by the heavens themselves. If you are pure of heart, you will be forewarned about disaster or guided towards a fortunate encounter. Anyone hiding a black heart will be exposed and cursed with misfortune.

Warrior of indomitable spirit.

Some whisper that those seeking heaven's guidance must first face the heaven's sword. Regardless of one's standing, all are judged fairly. Anyone weak willed will be cut down where they stand. It's believed that when you face your trial, you must draw courage from those that you hold close to your heart, else your very soul will be cut from your body.

'Oh… . Eh, so be it, this won't take more than a few minutes anyway.' 

"Student: It's not that we have any malicious intentions. It's just that such small matters need not be wasting their time."

"Student: Yes, if we go in person it will take up much more of their time. And. Mitsuko, you're not too busy for this, no? You can also look over the forms real quick and tell us if everything is done properly."

I finish both tasks, drinking the tea and looking over the forms, while also listening to the stories I've missed while being away on vacation.

"Student: I've heard that when the vice-president paid a visit to the home economics club, the teacher-adviser had to be carried to the sacred healing spot for the Saintess to work her miracles. Even teachers aren't shown a shred of mercy!"

"Student: Yes, we are saving up our luck to try and meet the good fortune messengers, so it's best to get this done right and not leave it to chance."

"Student: One girl from our class said that they are actually spirits that can move through windows and doors, deliver their gift and leave the same way. However, more people claim to have met them outside, while having a walk or sitting down to enjoy the good weather. We are going out for a walk to try and meet them outside ourselves."

"Student: You also mustn't forget to pay your respects and follow the proper rules! I've heard that a group of male students have entered our academy in secret to play a prank and disrespected a messenger, only empty husks have left the premise after willingly turning themselves in."

The spirit messengers.

They are the wandering protectors and bringers of good fortune. However, if you don't pay your respects or break the rules in their presence, you will be consumed by darkness and forevermore become changed by it. It is said that if they like you, you will be gifted with delicious desserts.

'Wait… Aren't those just the crows that deliver desserts for us? How did they become mysterious spirits in only these three weeks? What the hell happened while I was enjoying my vacation?'

I thank the girls for their hospitality and sharing the stories before leaving for the council room. On the way there I'm ambushed and dragged away by a few more clubs. A simple five minutes walk turned into an hour long journey across the academy building.

'This is a 180° turn of events! Last semester we had to track them down, but now I can't get away from them!'

The sports clubs have told me about the special time when the atmosphere in the gym becomes similar to the peak of the highest mountains. Encouraging me to test my strength and temper my willpower.

Road to Mt Fuji.

Beware, those who start their journey at sunrise must be ready for an arduous task. For the mountain is watching your every step and its gaze alone can crush those of weak body and spirit. The few who can withstand the pressure will be rewarded with improved results for their training. The rest will stumble at the foot of the mountain until proper effort is put in, or they give up in shame because of their inability to improve themselves.

The calligraphy and literature clubs weave a tale about the USC President that lavishes praise of her beauty and grace.

The Bow Princess.

She, who commands the spirit messengers. The blessed one. The mistress of art. The world holds its breath while watching her performance. Her guidance bestows blessings and her wrath calls down thunder. Those merely in her presence will be enveloped by a sacred light that keeps one safe from harm. Those she approves of will be overflowing with inspiration.

'Did I miss an anime convention happening here? Why is everyone talking about this? 

… Am I being pranked? Is this payback for my actions right before the vacation? Oh…that would actually make a lot of sense, all things considered… .'

Now I start feeling uneasy and suspicious. I quickened my steps towards the council room, promised to stop by the clubs that tried to take me away and finally arrived at our office. Taking a breath, I walk in.

"Kate: Mitsuko, welcome back. How was your vacation?"

Nothing is out of the ordinary here. I'm greeted by Kate doing paperwork, similar to the ones I'm holding. I feel disappointed that there is no heavenly Dao in the air, and that the students are probably playing a prank on me.

"Mitsuko: Hello, President Kate. It was very refreshing to relax after all the work we've had to do. How were you? Has Risa come back yet? Oh! I'm bringing more paperwork to add to your pile."

"Kate: It was very productive on our side, right Risa?"

I look behind me… and feel like the world is no longer supporting me. There is only emptiness and the blade's edge I'm standing on.

I will be cut down if I continue looking! I will fall into the emptiness for an eternity if I look away! I'm terrified into a stupor!

As my every thought crawls to a halt and I start to lose hold on my senses, an emerald star ignites above and my soul is placed before the heavenly balance of Libra. 

"Risa: Sorry if I've startled you Mitsuko. I'll take these forms, thank you."

'I take it all back!!! I don't mind the pranks, or bullying, or whatever!' I shudder from the experience I've just lived through.

"Mitsuko: I'm sorry, I don't feel well, I'll retire for the day."

I'm deaf to any noise as I run to the nearest restroom, spurred by all that tea I foolishly drank not too long ago. Somehow, I've managed to persevere this time and keep it all in, ...mostly.

"Fuuu, fuu, fu, this almost became a repeat of middle school… or worse. Fuu .. fuu… They've actually attained the heavenly Dao, for really real. Is it because of the dark things they were doing? This is worse than Jiang Wei's final days, as I'll be expected to live in service to the heavenly lords! Ugh! What have I gotten myself into?"

I've spent the afternoon in my room, agonizing over my predicament. Consumed in my own world so completely that I didn't pay attention to my surroundings and got startled again.

"Caw"

I jump in fright at the sudden sound. There, on my table are four crows with packages. I gulp and look at the windows and the door. Everything is either almost closed or completely locked, there is definitely not a single big enough opening for them to come through.

I remember how Ai-chan¹ (Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps) explained to me Shinto beliefs, that everything has a god, and if that god wants to bless you, they can, but the opposite is also true, they can curse you if they're angry. You respect pretty much everything, so that you don't get cursed. Food? Yeah, eat that fucking shit before it curses you with kidney stones.

"Mitsuko: TTTthAnk you for this great service." I bow my head to them and they actually bow back, before taking flight and leaving through a closed window in a black blur. 

"… … I've seen nothing. Someone was just playing pranks on me today. Yes, I was feeling unwell and decided to bring food to my room. Silly me, how did I forget that? Haha ha ha."

'Stupid Ai-chan! Now I have no choice but to eat this food!'

… I've finished everything, and it tasted even better than before.