HERO / Vaundy

POV Valentine

My triumphant mood evaporated with the same speed as any person's day gets ruined by stepping on a big pile of bullshit.

`Sniff sniff...sniff.

"Hana: Ach! The air is poisoned!"

"Valentine: It's compost, not poison. I thought that you Japanese people were all about being respectful towards the earth that feeds you. Didn't you go to the fields back in school?"

'HOT DAMN!! Is this a landfill floor?! It's like jumping into a putrid shit hole head first! Ugh!'

Fighting back the natural reaction to gag and run back through the portal, I take measured breaths through the mouth. My instincts tell me that the air isn't dangerous, but I don't complain about running some tests just to be on the safe side of things.

A few quick air tests partially confirm my gut feeling. There appears to be hydrogen sulfide present in the air. Just enough to give light irritation to everyone present in the cave, but not to immediately cause any serious side effects. There is also the real possibility of higher concentrations to be encountered anywhere else on the floor. Some protection will need to be prepared prior to any meaningful exploration.

'Choking on thin air would be damn pathetic. Would a breathing filter be enough? Carrying a large air tank would be very problematic for me.'

We cautiously step out of the cave and survey the surroundings.

"A swamp." "A stinky bog." "Wetlands?" "Perhaps marshlands."

"Valentine: ...Fucking mushrooms again. To hell with this, I'm not walking out there to be eaten by monstrous mushrooms. Hmm... However, do bring me back some blueberries. There are always some good berries found in such environments."

I know my limits, and facing anything here would likely spell my demise. I need to first grind the previous floor to dust, or at least be able to walk around the islands like in a supermarket. Paying with a knife instead of money.

"Mari: The heavy fog and low clouds are going to be a problem for scouting and I worry that there will be ambushes lying in wait for anyone flying just above the treetops. We'll be walking around with minimal overwatch."

"Yumi: I don't think that our footwear is going to cut it. There are barely any dry places to stand and everything looks to be rotting, ready to break under our weight and send us plummeting into the muddy waters below."

"Kate: I suggest that we don't rush in head first and instead collect samples of everything around this cave, followed by analysing what gear is best suited for this floor."

'Right, as if the storage isn't already crammed with all your things. `Sigh. I need to send them out to earn more mana so that I can spatially expand the storage unit.'

Looking at this floor again, I think that perhaps it is a good thing that the environment is not welcoming towards us. This way, they should put in more effort into scrapping up the 100k mana cost for the gate address to a specialised dungeon. We are clearly lacking in mana and not ingredients right now, so it's beneficial for everyone to switch to a better option. 

It has absolutely nothing to do with my distaste for the clearly visible mushroom infestation here.

"Valentine: If you are staying to gather samples, then I'm going first. My clothes need a fresh washing after just standing here."

"Kate: Sure, go ahead. We'll be back in 10 minutes, so please be clothed by that time."

Modesty isn't exactly something that was too relevant during the previous incidents, so I roll my eyes and walk out of this pit of toxic fumes without giving a decent response.

"God fucking level me up without immediately throwing a truckload of shit in my face! Fuck this Human lv 2 bullshit if I have to smell THAT again!"

The benefit of boss slaying became apparent when they all leveled up their racial class after my suicide. From what I've read in the reports, it gave them a small boost to mana capacity and the usual physical improvements. However, by being the only under leveled individual, I've absorbed most of the exp this time and felt a much greater effect than they had described. There may be a hundred different reasons for this, but what I know for sure is that I finally feel tangibly stronger!

'I could do without the improved sense of smell right now. Ugh! I hope that this benefit is only temporary.'

Another: useless right now, but could be of great value in the long run; card up my sleeve. All I have to do is bide my time by playing the long game and keep a low profile.

"Who needs this shitty Earth planet anyway. I could be living surrounded by sexy elves and beast girls. Haa..one day at a time, sooner than later I'll get my ticket out of this fucking prison. `Snif, snif...Kkhha! ...I'm first going to borrow some better shampoo for this."

..... .... ... .. .

Thousand Foot Krutch: Untraveled Road

POV Kei

"Caw. Caw."

"Kei: Thank you."

The magical birds came unannounced once again. Leaving behind enough food for our breakfast, before vanishing into the morning sky. Of course, my stupid brother and father don't believe me. Writing it off like I'm just a child sprouting nonsense, when it's plainly obvious that we neither have the money to afford such luxurious food, nor do I have the ability to make such dishes by myself.

'How did our roles reverse so suddenly?'

I remember sharing leftover scraps with the birds during my morning part-time delivery job for some time, and then suddenly they started feeding me instead. Soon after that, they found our home and began providing us randomly with full meals, fresh ingredients, fish, desserts and fruits. If everything wasn't specially packaged by hand, I would have thought that they were stealing food for us.

Since I don't have to cook breakfast today, I spend the extra time by taking care of some cleaning around the living room and doing morning exercises.

'I've saved up quite a bit from the reduced food cost, enough so that I can pay back a little bit to their owner... If only they would take the money.'

I've tried putting money inside the boxes, cloth bags, plastic bags, hiding it in paper envelopes, little toys, asking them to take it, etc. They only take the empty containers and leave everything else behind. I've almost run out of ideas on how to proceed from here.

'Next weekend, I'll try asking them for directions and finding the right place myself. If that doesn't work, then I'll get a nonpermanent marker and write a message on their food containers.'

I like their company during the early hours. Talking helps to pass the time and they stick around to listen for a while, most of the time.

"Brother: Morning Kei. Ooh! This is probably better than any restaurants can serve! Thank you for the food!"

"Kei: Shut up and eat already. I'm be leaving for school first."

'Oblivious idiot. Throwing around undeserved praises and ignoring everything that I've said. Hhm! Should have complemented me on how the living room is looking tidy today.'

.... ... .. .

I have splurged on buying high quality bird food and a box of chocolates as gifts. Now I only need to find where to go.

"Kei: It's a: thank you return present. Can you help me deliver it? I don't know the address, so can you show me where to go?"

I'm dressed properly for the cold morning weather, allowing me to walk around for hours without problem. The two birds communicate between themselves while I'm waiting with my little package. I've made it look similar to their own, that way it should be easier to understand what I want to do.

Finally, one of them flies away and the other jumps on my shoulder.

'So... how do we do this? Hmmm. I'll start walking and see if it actually shows me the way.'

It turned out that I should walk towards the direction my navigator is facing and turn when it turns its head. Following the directions, I've got to the closest train station where the second crow gave me a ticket to the neighboring Nerima Ward. One platform change and many, many stares later, I've started walking again.

'This area looks too costly to live in. The individual houses here must cost a hundred times more that our old building whole.'

I'm lead up to a long fence and signalled to walk along the sidewalk towards the park. While walking under the trees, I notice a few more crows flying over the fencing and resting on nearby branches. Once I'm close to the halfway point, the signal to stop is given and the crows fly down towards me.

"AaAaAAaaAAA!!?!"

I feel something wrap around my body, and I'm lifted up into the air. In my panicking state, I've shut my eyes tight instead of looking at what's happening. A small, involuntary shriek might have also escaped me.

A few long seconds later, I find myself on the other side of the fence, with a lot more crows waiting. I look around and come to the conclusion that my gift will be too small.

'I'm sure that they weren't fattening me up, like some evil characters from a children's book, to be eaten later. Yes, no need to be panicking. I'll tag my location and have an emergency text on standby just in case.'

My navigator is urging me to start walking again, but I need a second to finish typing. I walk slowly and carefully while setting everything up to be sent with a single press of a button. Some 50 m later, the trees thin out to make room for smaller plants.

'Ah. I was worried for nothing... .'

I relax a bit upon seeing the well-kept flowerbed and hokora with a little crow Kami enshrined. Proper respect must be paid to the local guardian, and I fortunately have just the right offering.

The stone bowls don't look like they were used much, so I only drop a pinch in each and empty the rest of the packet into the wooden ones on the side.

"Caw. caw."

I'm called to get moving again, further away from the fence and towards the centre of this little forest park. A short distance away, my guide jumped off my shoulder and walked through a tree! A second later, being back on my shoulder it motioned for me to go forth and enter the tree myself.

'Am I invited into the spirit world?'

I reach out and touch the tree, it gives way easily and I feel like touching glass. Pushing a bit harder and I feel the glass moving outward just like a window or a door would. Next, I try to take a peek and actually find... a cafe inside of a tree?

'Not exactly what I was expecting. This... feels and looks normal and barely fantastical. Except for the tree part.'

"Caw! CAW CAW."

"Valentine: Ach! Don't cry out so suddenly! Can't you see I'm listening to music?! Just walk up like a normal person would!"

"Caw. Ca caw."

"Valentine: Chocolate? Um, sure, thanks. Just drop it somewhere on the counter."

"Caw caw CAW CAWCAW."

"Valentine: You ...WHAT?"

The crow has flown behind the counter and started talking with someone in the kitchen. Apparently announcing my little intrusion. From behind the counter emerged a normal looking person, further dampening my sense of mystery and forcing me to utter a question by reflex.

"Kei: Are you the local Kami?"

Whatever he wanted to say remained unsaid, instead I saw a face of someone hard at work trying to decipher a cryptic message. Then coming to an understanding and bursting into a slowly rising hysterical laughing fit.

"He he he Ha haha haaha ha ha ha!!! Kami! HAHA GAHABAHAHA!"

He fell to the floor while laughing, as tears fell between gasps for air.

"HAHAHa! I! I've got!! HahaHa! The bound... spirit....part down! Haahaha! Now... I only need... a grain.. of respect... Haaa haaa."

"Valentine: Haaaaa... The violent women came up with "The Keeper", but call me Valentine. If the outfit didn't give it already away, I'm a chef. Young lady, take a seat while I get you some snacks and find out why the birdbrain thought it a good idea to abduct 10 y.o. children off the streets. Ah, right! Slippers, where did I hide those things? Ok, just take these for now, the toilets are that way and you can just lay down your jacket on an empty chair."

'If I ignore him living in a tree and talking to birds, then he feels to be in a similar state to our family. Right between brother and dad.'

Looking around, I notice that the entrance is more dusty and unused than anything else, as if almost no-one uses the front door anymore. Even the oversized slippers are dusty, when the cafe part has obviously been taken care of and used by a number of people.

I clarify my age once he comes back with tea and pastry. Even though I'm still in my growth spurt, being mistaken for a 10 y.o. is too much. I have enough of being treated like a child at home.

"Kei: My name's Kei and I'm 14."

"Valentine: Oh... I'm bad at judging age, please write it off as me being a foreigner. Umm, would... this whole day being a dream still work? ...No? Ok, just sit tight and give me a moment to figure out what's going on."

This time around he retreated with more haste and panic behind each step. I can hear a bird and a person discussing things at the back of the kitchen while I taste a bite.

`Nom, nom, nom.

'Yes, this has the same warm flavor.'

I relax while sipping tea and examine the situation that I'm in. The TV shows have painted these types of scenarios in a much more different light. There's a distinct lack of variety in magical animals and any animated furniture. The facilities are all identical to that what modern people are used to. This place is simply too mundane for being a well hidden secret.

"Valentine: Ok, and I'm back! Sooo, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news being that a dozen violent, rich and probably influential women want to keep this place a secret. You weren't exactly subtle in coming here, so the crows are probably relaying this information as we speak. From what I know about those kinds of people, they won't shy away from: forcing your family to move to the most remote countryside, or paying people to make sure that no-one ever believes anything you say, or do whatever an ungodly amount of money allows them to do. BUT! Technically, this situation is their fault. So you can just demand a few hundred millions as hush money and promise to forget everything you've seen."

'All of the above sounds like bad news to me.' Frowning, I ask about the second part.

"Kei: And what's the good news?"

"Valentine: Hehehe~Payback~. From what I've been told, you are a decent, hardworking and kind person. I also happen to have a written contract that clearly states that I may employ individuals of a high enough clearance level in assisting me with daily activities. As this is an emergency situation and considering the extenuating circumstances, we can make a case that you fall under that category. As the highest authority holder present on site during said emergency, I can make a unilateral decision. Basically, if you agree, you'll be employed as a part-timer worker, once I open up my restaurant next year. A couple of hours after school working as a waitress, a bit more during the weekends because this is a girls academy with a huge dormitory. If you are any good in the kitchen, I can offer some training and see how it goes from there. This way, you will be kept under watch until they trust you enough to keep quiet. ...It's also a just deserts for turning me into a mannequin, let them sweat a little."

'This sounds more like a personal opinion rather than an objective one. He could be lying about some of it, or purposely exaggerating things.'

"Kei: ... Here's a chocolate gift. It's thanks for the food you've been making."

"Valentine: ...Oh, your welcome?"

"Kei: Can I pay you back a portion of the cost? I don't have enough to pay for everything, but I can pay for some of it."

"Valentine: ..?...?.. I don't need money, young lady. It doesn't cost me money to get the ingredients, and I cook in order to improve my skills, not because I get paid to do it. ...They'll beat me to death if I ask you to return the other cost. Tch, I doubt that my soul can handle another one."

'It is easier to get him talking than my stupid brother. Let's learn a bit more about this place, while waiting to see if someone is actually coming or if he's making it up.'

I've had experience dealing with lonely people, so getting some day-to-day talk started is easy. I just need to add a few compliments every now and then, give the conversation a gentle push and not ask too many intrusive questions.

"WILE SCUM!!" CRASH!CRACK!`THUD!

"Let me go! He deserves death for sullying Lady Mari's honour and praying on children!"

I've only blinked, and the scene before me changed completely. From one of a calm talk over tea, to bodies sent flying and furniture being broken. I'm left in a stupor as chef Valentine is now laying motionless in a corner and dangerous looking women are fighting on the floor. The 180 turn was too abrupt for me to process, so I haven't entered a panic mode yet.

"Ghost step."

Worse still, I'm lifted up with my chair and taken through the ceiling to the rooftop. I've become rigid in my seat, silently regretting my decision to wait and see instead of making a promise to think about it and walking away.

"Tai: Aww, what a cutie. Just like a mini version of Mari but with platinum blonde hair.

"So, little cutie, did you by any chance come here on your own?"

"Kei: I've asked the crows to guide me here, so that I can say my thanks for the food and pay back a portion of the costs."

Seeing the many weapons visible under her clothes, I don't hesitate to answer.

"Tai: Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Oh well, a few broken bones and a head injury aren't that serious. By the way, your phone is already in my pocket. I'll keep it safe for the time being."

'I should have trusted my judgement that he wasn't lying! These women are dangerous!'

My attempt at discreetly reaching for the phone was noticed and even prevented from succeeding ahead of time without me noticing. Now I'm trapped by armed people who have no qualms about resulting to violence first and asking questions second.